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Perspective

Summary:
Edward told Bella he had talked with his father and brothers regarding their wedding night. This is my version of that missing moment from between Eclipse and Breaking Dawn and includes what Edward and Bella do to prepare for their first night together as husband and wife.


Notes:


15. Chapter 15

Rating 5/5   Word Count 2353   Review this Chapter

Bella slept for another hour and then became restless. I ran my hand along her back trying to comfort her. It worked for a while but it was obvious her pain was not getting better. Shifting my weight I lay her back on the bed and quickly made my way to the bathroom for some supplies.

In the minute I was gone my love had curled onto her side clutching her stomach. I lay the water, pills and heating pad I had retrieved on her nightstand and knelt beside her bed. Slowly I ran my cold hand along the side of her face several times. I smiled as I felt her lean into my touch. “Bella?” I said as I continued to caress her check. “Bella, love, wake up please.”

A loan moan escaped her lips and I was unsure if it was caused from her waking or from the pain she was obviously suffering. Her lids slowly opened and her expressive eyes fell on my face. “Edward?” she asked as if unsure it was really me.

“Yes, love,” I said while I continued to try and soothe her as much as I was physically capable.

She took a deep breath and then her lips turned up in a smile as she moved closer to me. “You're back.”

I couldn’t help but smile back. It was so good to hear her voice again, to see those eyes looking at me with the love I knew she had for me. “I am.”

Her arms wrapped high around my waist as she leaned into me. I cradled her head to my chest placing a soft kiss in her hair. We lay like this for a few minutes and then I felt her wince once more. She instantly moved away from me. I could have held onto her but let her back away since I wanted her to use the medicine I had brought for her.

She was too far from me now, about two feet. “I’m sorry,” she said.

I knew what she was referring to but decided to act like I did not. Instead I reached for the water and pain pills on the nightstand and handed them to her. “For what, love?”

She sat up and took both the pills and water. After swallowing, she handed the glass back to me. “Thank you,” she said looking at me from beneath her lashes. Then she lay back down, still two feet away from me, and sighed, “You know for what.”

I didn’t comment. Instead, I reached for the heating pad, plugged it in and placed it where I had seen her do so in the past. To avoid the cord, I walked to the other side of the bed and began to take my place beside her once more. “You don’t have to,” she said.

Without pulse, I took my place and wrapped my arms around her. Deciding she was not going to let this go, “Love, I have told you I am fine. Your blood does not bother me anymore.” While this was not completely true, it was true that her blood held no appeal for me now. I could still smell it, of course, and it still caused an increased burning in my throat along with the occasional influx of venom. It did not, however, cause me to even contemplate not being by her side. The joy I felt in her presence far outweighed the physical discomfort I was in even when her blood was fresh.

Bella’s monthly blood was different as well. Although it still smelled of her sweet fragrance, it was not the same. The monster that I was still found it quite desirable but resistance was easy. Very easy.

Her head lay on my chest and I could feel the heating pad as it began to warm. We lay in silence for a while and if not for her breathing I would have thought her to be asleep. I continued to try to do what I could to ease her pain with comforting gestures. Slowly the tension began to subside as the medicine took effect.

“Edward?”

“Yes, love?”

“Does my blood really not tempt you anymore? Not at all?”

This was curious. We had had this conversation before battling the newborns. I had been honest. My desire to drink from her had disappeared after my entire being realized what it felt like to not have her exist. Even the monster wasn’t fond of that painful memory.

I took too long to answer. She raised herself so she could look at my face. I wasn’t sure how much she could see in the darkness but it didn’t matter, I could see her. Concern stretched her features. She tucked her head into my chest and sighed before returning to look at me. “Edward,” I waited. She bit her lower lip. “When we…”

I stroked her hair away from her face trying to encourage her to speak freely. As if gaining determination, she squared her shoulders and took a deep breath. “Edward when we are together…there will be…blood, won’t there?”

Ah. So that was what she was thinking. “There usually is, yes.”

She bit her lip again. “And you’ll…you’ll be ok?”

I debated lying to her but thought better of it. “I don’t know, love. This will be new to the both of us.”

I felt my muscles tense at the thought that I could be overcome with my bloodlust for her given what my brothers had told me. If I lost control, I would not bite her. I was determined in that. Whatever happened, I would not. Blood or no, I would not do that to her. Our wedding night would be one of the last human memories she would have and whether or not we would be able to accomplish our goal, I would make it as pleasant a memory for her as I could. It would not end in her death or her change.

Looking at her face I could see she was thinking. What she was thinking I had no idea. “Can I help?” She must have seen the questioning look on my face, “I mean…we are practicing other things. Is there anything to help you with that?”

I was quiet for a long time and she resettled herself against my chest, realizing I was thinking. Was there a way to help prepare for that part? I was sure it was her current situation that had brought the subject to bare.

As I was considering, I heard Bella’s breathing change and her muscles relax. I placed a kiss in her hair and let myself relax back into her pillow, surrounded by her scent, as I continued to contemplate this new possibility. My love would give me time to think tonight. But in the morning, I was sure she would expect to continue our conversation.

~

Charlie passed by Bella’s door just after five thirty but did not enter, for which I was glad. Bella was sleeping soundly and I did not want to have to move and disturb her. Her fist held tightly to my shirt and the warmth of her breath blew across my chest.

I’d spent the last few hours thinking over our words and felt we could use this to our advantage if she was willing. I felt a bit strange about the direction of my thoughts but I was willing to push my discomfort aside. It was surprising to me how much I wanted to talk to Bella about my thoughts. Although what I was suggesting provided me no comfort, I found happiness in knowing it would be something we would be doing together to prepare.

Her interrupted sleep during the night meant my love didn’t wake until after nine. She came awake slowly and I felt her mouth curl into a smile as she molded her body closer to mine. “Good Morning, love.”

She glanced up at me through half closed lids. “Morning.”

“Would you like some breakfast?”

She shook her head no and raised herself up. “I need a minute.”

I nodded and released her. Watching her grab her bathroom bag reminded me of the course of my thoughts. “Bella?” She stopped just before opening the door. “Do you think you could change into your shorts?” She looked confused. “The ones you normally wear to bed, I mean.” Then it struck me that maybe she’d want to get dressed for the day.

Before I could add anything more she spoke. “Ugh…sure.” Walking back to her dresser, she grabbed a pair of shorts I’d seen her in many times and went to the door again. “I’ll be right back.”

I heard her in the bathroom going about her morning routine and once again wished I could know her thoughts. What did she think of my request? Did she know what I had in mind?

My mind was still going over the many possibilities of her thoughts when she came back through the door. Setting her bag down she came back to the bed and sat down Indian style next to me. We weren’t touching and I did not like that. I needed contact.

Sitting up, I reached for her hand and laced our fingers. She spoke first, “What did you decide?” She paused briefly, “About the blood I mean?”

I sighed. I was determined to be open about this. “I considered what you said and I do not know if it will help but…I am willing to try.” I paused and felt the side of my mouth lift. “It couldn’t hurt.”

Bella’s shoulders fell slightly as if she was releasing a long held breath and I realized she’d been nervous. Did she think I would dismiss her concern? I didn’t get to contemplate it further though. “What do you want me to do?” she asked.

I closed my eyes. I couldn’t look at her.

“Lay down, please.” She did so without pause.

My love lay quietly on her back with her legs straight. She was watching me but I didn’t move. Bella reached out and touched my hand. “It’s ok,” she whispered. “Do what you need to do.”

I closed my eyes again, briefly, and nodded. Leaning down, I placed my hand lightly on her hip and rested my head on her stomach. I could hear sounds from beneath her skin.

I did not move. Instead I began to breath deeply, centering my nose above the space between her legs. I closed my eyes and concentrated on the smell. The burning was there but it wasn’t terrible. I’d suffered much worse with Bella in our early days.

Bella’s fingers brushed my hair. “Do you…” she paused, “Do you want to…go lower?”

I shook my head slightly. “No. No, this is fine.” I had never been this close to her before. Not like this.

She shifted slightly and opened her legs, sending a wave of blood filled scent to my nose. I stiffened. She noticed and her fingers continued their gentle ministrations.

Giving me a few minutes to adjust, she didn’t say anything. I was grateful and began to relax once more. Her hand paused again and I felt her take a deep breath. “Please, Edward. I want to do this for you if it will help. Get as close as you can.” When I didn’t move, “For us.”

My body began to move and a part of my mind was screaming at me to stop. Bella was right, though. I said I would do all I could do to prepare as long as she was willing and we weren’t crossing any of the boundaries. I pushed my century old mind aside and positioned myself kneeling between her open legs.

I watched her face closely as my own face descended to the apex of her legs. I could feel the heat coming off her body and it got hotter the closer I came to my destination. The scent of her blood mixed with her human scent became more powerful.

My breath was coming quicker and I realized so was Bella’s. Her clothing was between us but the knowledge that we had never been this close before sent my mind soaring. I could hear her heart rate pick up its pace and realized my current position was having a similar effect on her as it was on me.

The knowledge only made my breathing increase still. I could smell her blood. It was only inches from me now with only thin fabric as a shield. It wasn’t the blood that was driving me wild inside though. It was the other scent coming from her that was compelling me.

My hands pressed into the mattress. I could feel the springs beneath but I didn’t care. I closed the remaining distance between us and felt my nose touch the seam behind which my loves scent was hidden and inhaled deeply. A shiver rolled down Bella’s body and a soft moan escaped her lips that brought me back to my senses.

Pushing back off the bed I stood looking down at her and the place where I’d just been. Shaking my head I tried to remove the desire I had to return. I shouldn’t have done that. I’d gone to far. “I’m so sorry Bella.”

She pushed herself up on her elbows and looked at me for a moment before getting off the bed and moving toward me. I stood perfectly still. She’d given me permission to smell her, not to… no I should not have done what I did.

I was chastising myself when Bella’s arms wrapped around me and she buried her face in my chest. I felt her soft lips press against me. “Was it ok? With the blood I mean?”

She was asking about the blood? After what I’d just done? I looked down and she was looking up at me. Her eyes were full of concern. Concern for me.

Bella wasn’t upset with me, even though I had crossed over a line. She was too good for me. I loved her. “Yes,” I said, “The scent of your blood was manageable.”

She smiled, “Good.” Her arms tightened again and her breath brushed against my shirt. “Don’t be sorry, Edward.” I felt her smile. “I quite enjoyed myself.”

I couldn’t help but smile and gave her a light squeeze back. “Breakfast?”

Pulling back, she nodded and grabbed my hand, leading me down the stairs.