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Perspective

Summary:
Edward told Bella he had talked with his father and brothers regarding their wedding night. This is my version of that missing moment from between Eclipse and Breaking Dawn and includes what Edward and Bella do to prepare for their first night together as husband and wife.


Notes:


23. Chapter 23

Rating 5/5   Word Count 3164   Review this Chapter

We made our way into the kitchen. When I asked Bella what she’d like, she insisted a sandwich and chips would be fine. I selected some meat and cheese from the refrigerator and began assembling her sandwich while Bella went in search of chips.

When she reappeared several minutes later, she held a bag of Cheetos in her hand. Walking to the counter, she hopped on the stool where I’d set her sandwich. Opening the bag, Bella dumped a large pile or orange puffs onto the plate. She took a large bite of her sandwich and stuffed a few puffs into her mouth. I sat down next to her and watched her eat.

There was something about watching Bella eat. It was so…human. I couldn’t help but wonder if watching her hunt would be just as fascinating to me.

She’d gotten so used to me watching her, my attention to her repeated actions of picking up her sandwich, biting into it and then shoving two Cheetos into her mouth, went unacknowledged.

When she was finished, I cleaned up quickly and then we headed back to her house. Bella said she needed to start dinner and do some laundry before Charlie got home.

Parking in my usual spot, I walked around and opened her door. Placing my arm around her waist, we walked into her house. I hung our jackets up in the hall and then followed Bella to the kitchen.

Taking a seat at the table, I watched as Bella worked. When she finished, she headed up the stairs and I followed her. She turned to her bedroom and began piling laundry into a basket.

Dropping the last shirt onto the pile, she reached to pick the basket but I moved faster. I was not allowing Bella to carry something I could and would do for her. She gave me a look of mild disapproval and then sighed. “We have to get Charlie’s clothes, too.”

“Lead the way, love.” I smiled at her.

We walked to her father’s bedroom and she proceeded to place his dirty clothes into the same basket. With that done, we went into the bathroom and she began unloading the hamper there as well. Half way through she paused, “should we wait and get the rest on another trip?”

I rolled my eyes. “I think I can handle it, Bella.”

She actually giggled. Silly Bella.

We went back down stairs to the small laundry room tucked in the back of the house. I set the basket down on the floor and Bella started the washer and sorted the clothes into piles. When she closed the lid on the machine, she turned to me with a strange look on her face. She looked embarrassed again. Leaning back against the wall she glanced up at me while worrying her bottom lip. “What is it, love?” I asked reaching out to touch her warm cheek.

She didn’t answer right away but I was patient. She’d tell me when she was ready. I had no idea what could be going through her mind. She spoke softly at first. “Edward, would you…” and then the words came quickly, “bring the book with you tonight?”

My hand stilled on her cheek. Thoughts raced through my mind as I tried to think what other book she could possibly be referring to other than the one I thought she was but couldn’t find one. “Bella…”

Taking a step toward me, she placed a hand on my chest and looked up into my eyes. “Please?”

I closed my eyes. When she said that one little word I became putty in her hands. “I don’t know, Bella,” I said trying to hold onto my reasoning. “They aren’t really the type of books…”

She was flush against me now, her hands around my neck. I stood frozen. “I want to share them with you, Edward. Please?” she pulsed. “Besides, maybe I can learn something too,” she smirked.

I opened my eyes at that. Bella wanted… She… This woman never ceased to amaze me. I wrapped my arms around her waist and lifted her off the ground burying my face in her hair. “I love you.”

She laughed but held me tighter. “I love you, too.”

I set her back down and brushed the hair away from her face before placing a soft kiss to her forehead.

“So does that mean you’ll bring it?” she asked timidly.

I nodded and she smiled. Heading back into the living room we turned on the television and waited for Charlie.

My nerves began to return the closer we got to home. Maybe I shouldn’t bring the book. I could tell her I forgot.

Okay that was not an option. Bella would know I was not being truthful. She knew too much about what I am, about what she would be. Besides I had already agreed. That didn’t mean I felt comfortable with it.

Parking my Volvo in front of the house, I made my way inside. As I was shutting the door, Carlisle was making his way down the stairs. Hello, Edward.

Nodding in greeting, I realized we were alone in the house. “Where is everyone?”

“Alice and Rose went shopping in Seattle. Emmett and Jasper are out hunting. And Esme’s in Port Angeles picking up something for the design she’s working on. She should be back soon though,” he smiled. “How’s Bella?”

“Good.”

He pulsed a minute watching me. His mind was empty of thoughts. “I’d better get going or I’ll be late,” he mumbled as he made his way past me and out the door. It was only as he was getting into his car that his thoughts finally broke. Carlisle wanted to know if I’d talked to Bella.

I pinched the bridge of my nose and sighed in frustration. That was one more conversation I didn’t want to have tonight. One I wanted to have even less than I wanted to bring the requested book.

Commanding my limbs to move forward, I headed up the stairs to my room. Being alone in the house had its advantages. I picked out some music and raised the volume to a level I would never use with others present and then sat down at my desk.

Turning on my computer, I check our flights and connections for the honeymoon and confirmed with the house staff that everything would be fully stocked upon our arrival. I wanted Bella to be comfortable. I wanted her to have fun.

I took the extra time and researched the area around the island as well. Not knowing how long we’d be there, I needed to locate a place to hunt. I was able to find a large forest within a forty-five minute boat ride of the island. Finding the name of the forest, I researched the animal life that could be found there. According to the screen, large game was quite plentiful in the region.

Noticing the time, I logged off the computer and shut it down just as Esme was making her way into the house. With a slight hesitation, I picked up the Sex for Dummies book in one hand and my jacket in another. Quickly, I wrapped the book in the jacket and exited my room.

I passed Esme on the stairs. “Edward,” she smiled. “Off to Bella’s?” My only response was a smile. A larger, knowing smile spread across her face as she turned toward her room. Enjoy your evening, Edward.

It was a little before midnight when I entered Bella’s room. Her light was on again, but this time I was expecting it. I knew she’d be waiting on me.

When I looked over, she was sitting up in her bed reading. Looking up she smiled at me and I couldn’t help but smile back. Bella moved over, making space for me on the bed. Slowly I made my way over to sit facing her. She looked a bit puzzled. Then she looked down at my hands to the book still wrapped in my jacket.

“You brought it,” she smiled.

“I did,” I paused. “But Bella I don’t think…”

She silenced me by placing her hand over my mouth. “You promised.”

I couldn’t help teasing her a little. She was so cute when she was flustered. “I promised I would bring it, love, not that we would actually look at it.”

As fast as her human hands would go, she reached to snatch it away from me. I of course was faster. Before she’d moved an inch, I had the book behind my back.

It only took a few seconds for her to register the emptiness. Bella crossed her arms and glared at me. It was beyond adorable. “Edward,” she said firmly.

“What is it, love?” I couldn’t help but smirk.

She noticed the small upward turn of my mouth and obviously decided to try a different tactic. Scrambling to her knees, she reached up and cupped my face. I held completely still as she leaned forward and brushed her warm lips across mine before blazing a warm trail up to my ear. “Edward, don’t you want to share what you’ve been learning with me?” she whispered.

Oh my. I swallowed. Typically I was a very controlled person. But that all changed with Bella. Human or not, she could make me lose my control, my resolve…my mind, with very little effort. “Bella…”

She shifted her weight and her pulsing jugular was poised a fraction of an inch from my lips. I was trying to focus, trying to think of anything but the way Bella’s lips felt brushing against my ear. Leaning in, I eliminated the small space between my lips and her skin causing her to exhale a sharp breath directly into my ear.

Her hands tightened on my shoulders and I continued my new assault to her neck. She seemed to be distracted from her task, which was wonderful because so was I. My fingers itched to touch her.

I let the book fall to the bed behind me and brought my hands around to her hips. She leaned into me, exposing more of her neck and shoulder. My right hand moved up her back, pressing her closer to me while my lips ran a steady line down to her collarbone and back to their starting point.

I felt Bella’s hands move up the back of my neck to tangle in my hair as she pulled herself closer, shifting my face lower. My mouth hovered at the point where her shirt met her skin. Her breasts were only inches away and I could see hints of her soft flesh just out of my reach. My eyes lingered a moment too long before I slowly began making my way back up. I wanted to feel the soft pillow of her lips.

It was then I realized Bella’s hands were no longer in my hair but moving down my back. Before I could clear the fog of desire from my head, she shifted her weight and snatched the book from behind me and rolled over onto the bed. She was still in mid-roll when I caught her.

The book was held tightly to her chest. She was breathing hard. I wasn’t sure if it was from our kissing or from her effort to take possession of the book.

Bella was looking up at me with large doe eyes. I could have taken the book from her easily. She knew this. She also knew I wouldn’t. I closed my eyes for a minute to come to terms with the fact I was not getting out of this.

Moving away from her, I sat up, offering her my assistance. There was only a moments hesitation as she understood I wasn’t going to fight her on this. She followed me as I moved to sit with my back to the headboard.

With the book still wrapped loosely in my jacket in her lap, she glanced up at me. I kept my face blank. I didn’t want her to see how much this was bothering me. It seemed as if I was in a constant state of awkwardness as of late.

After watching me for a few moments, she looked back down at her lap and removed the jacket revealing the black and yellow cover. There was a silly cartoon character staring back at us. But Bella didn’t pay any attention to that of course, she noticed the bookmark and flipped to that page.

I hadn’t looked at the next page when I’d placed the bookmark. I had been so…so…well there just weren’t words for how I’d felt reading about masturbation and the thoughts I’d had that followed. The book had remained closed since. But seeing what was now in front of us, I wish I had.

Every instinct told me to rip the book out of Bella’s hand and burn it, hide it. Something. Anything but have her look. There in bold black and white lettering were the words Cunnalingus/Felacio. And beneath it read in parentheses, Oral Sex.

I froze, waiting to see if she’d say something, but instead she glanced up at me, her face flushed.

“Maybe…maybe we should skip this chapter,” I suggested.

Bella sucked her lower lip into her mouth and bit down. I always worried when she did that, fearing she would harm herself. Reaching out, I ran a cold finger just below her lip silently asking her to release it. She did, but glanced back down at the page. I let my hand drop back to my lap. Her brow furrowed like she was deep in thought and her fingers came to tangle together on top of the book.

I remained still. I had no idea what she was thinking. Her silence was driving me crazy. I needed to know what was going through her head. “Bella?”

She bit her lip again and then quickly released it. Sighing she began to speak very softly. So soft I was not sure another human would have been able to hear it. “Have you ever thought…about…”

Bella was asking if I’d ever thought… How was I supposed to answer that? I… Instead of answering, I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose.

I was still in that position when she spoke again. “I have.”

My eyes popped open. What?! She’d… She’d…

It took me several minutes to compose myself and a minute longer than it took Bella. When I looked over at her, she was staring at me. “Are you okay?” she whispered.

I searched her face for any sign of…well anything that could help me in deciphering what I was supposed to say. My mind couldn’t wrap itself around the thought of Bella thinking of me giving her pleasure like that. I mean, I knew couples did those things and that they found it quite enjoyable but…

Realizing I hadn’t answered her yet, I heard her heart rate pick up speed. She was scared. She was scared she’d upset me. I had to fix this. “Bella,” I paused. “Bella, have you really thought…about me…” I couldn’t think of a better word, “pleasuring you in that way?”

Her heart rate calmed a little, but in its place her entire face turned red. “Yes,” she whispered. “And me… to you.”

“Bella…” I couldn’t speak. What should I say? What could I say? She… But why? She didn’t have to do that. I would never… I mean just being able to touch her, to show her how much I loved her, to worship her was all I would ever want. I began shaking my head. “Bella you…don’t have to think that way. You don’t have to…”

Suddenly I felt her hand on mine and I looked over at her. Her eyes were full of emotion, of love. “Edward, please tell me what you’re thinking. Why are you so upset?”

I pinched the bridge of my nose again and took a deep breath, letting the fullness of her scent flow through me. I said the words slowly, deliberately. “I would never ask you to do something like that. I would never…degrade…you in that way.”

My eyes were still closed when I felt her move to sit across my legs. I looked and saw the book laying in the space she had occupied only seconds before. The look on Bella’s face was one of determination and I wasn’t sure I was going to like what she had to say. She placed her hands on either side of my face, wanting me to look at her. “What do you mean ‘you would never degrade me in that way’?”

She is going to be your wife. In two weeks you are going to try to make love to her. It’s okay to be talking about this with her. It’s more than okay. You need to be talking to her about this.

I kept replaying this mantra to myself over and over until I found the courage to speak. She still had her hands in place and was watching my struggle. “Love, I would never ask you to…I would never expect you to…touch…me…that way.”

Bella’s head tilted to the side. “Why not?”

What did she mean why not? I tried to close my eyes again but Bella increased the pressure on my face begging me not to. “Bella, it isn’t right. I would not do that to you. You’ve given me so much, so much more than I will ever deserve.”

She was quiet for a long time, not moving. Finally she dropped her hands down to her sides but remained on my lap. “Would you…do you want to…pleasure me…like that? With your mouth?”

I felt my eyes widen but I answered her. “Yes, love, if you would want me to.”

“Would you enjoy it, do you think?”

If what I’d pick up from the vast majority of men’s minds over the years on the subject was any given indication, “Yes,” I answered.

The look of determination was back but there was also a touch of anger as well. “Then why do you not think I would feel the same way.” She must have seen the confusion on my face. “Edward, if you would enjoy giving me…oral pleasure,” she said with a smirk, “then why don’t you think I would enjoy giving you the same?”

I had no answer to that. Sex was not on the minds of females as it was males. More so in recent years than in the past but still there was far from a balance. Also, females did not tend to be as graphic in their memories.

She must have decided I’d taken long enough. “I’m waiting for an answer, Edward Cullen.”

Honestly seemed to be the best I could do. “I don’t know. It just didn’t seem…I didn’t think…” I searched her eyes, locking them with mine. “Would you really want to do that?”

Bella leaned in and brushed her lips with mine, obviously forgiving me. “Yes.”

Shifting back off my lap, she picked up the book again. I breathed a bit easier now. It was still uncomfortable, but there was a part of me that was…elated…that Bella would feel that way. A part of me kept saying it was wrong to want that, to even think of her doing that to me, but another part, a bigger part, reminded me I would do anything to make Bella happy. Anything.