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Perspective

Summary:
Edward told Bella he had talked with his father and brothers regarding their wedding night. This is my version of that missing moment from between Eclipse and Breaking Dawn and includes what Edward and Bella do to prepare for their first night together as husband and wife.


Notes:


29. Chapter 29

Rating 5/5   Word Count 3395   Review this Chapter

My body was humming with nerves and excitement by the time we reached the suite. Bella appeared to be in a similar state based on the slight increase in both the pace and intensity of her heart.

We stood just inside the door for several minutes before my love turned to me biting her lower lip. I closed the distance between us, reaching out to rub my thumb against the plump softness of her mouth. Taking a deep breath, “Why don’t you get ready for bed?” I saw the protest in her eyes. “Take your time. I’ll be waiting for you when you’re done.”

She studied my face for a minute before stepping back and heading into our bedroom. I stood completely still after she left my side listening to her movement in the other room.

It wasn’t until I heard the door to the bathroom close and the water of the shower turn on that I entered. The overnight bag I’d brought with me sat on a chair in the corner. I opened it and selected the pair of pajama pants. There were times I was very grateful for my sister and her shopping habit.

My eyes flicked to the book I’d brought along. I had mixed feelings about it where Bella was concerned. The logical part of my brain kept insisting it was alright, a good idea even. I just couldn’t shake my upbringing though. The one that shouted to me how inappropriate it was.

I pushed away the thought and put it in the back of my mind. Bella was expecting me to be waiting for her as I’d promised and I needed to get ready for bed myself. Taking the new addition to my wardrobe, I crossed through the living room into the smaller bedroom.

I moved quickly. In less than five minutes, I was showered, dressed and lying in bed with the Sex For Dummies book laying on the nightstand beside me. My love was out of the shower as well. I could hear her moving about inside the bathroom.

Closing my eyes I concentrated on the soft movements behind the door. The water being turned on and then a rough brushing sound. I smiled. Bella was brushing her teeth.

Not long after, the water was turned off and I heard rustling. She was digging in her bag for something. Then quiet for three seconds before I heard a very low, very soft sound. I’d heard it before many times when I’d concentrated like this waiting for her in her bedroom. Bella was brushing her hair.

I remembered the way my love reacted to my fingers massaging her scalp. Would she enjoy me brushing her hair too? It was something to consider. If not now, maybe on the island, praying all went well with our attempt.

All the ways things could not go well started running through my mind: my strength, my bloodlust, my teeth. My anxiety began to increase and I knew I needed to calm down. We weren’t there yet. Far from it. There was time. Time to practice being closer to her and time to work with Jasper more. Bella would be okay. She had to be okay.

I was so lost in my thoughts that only the door opening brought me back to reality. Looking up I found Bella standing just inside the room wearing her usual summer bedtime attire of shorts and a tank top, her hair still wet and flowing smoothly around her shoulders.

It took me another moment to register the rapid pace of her heart and her shallow breathing. Her cheeks were flushed slightly, too. My eyes met hers briefly. They were wide and dark.

Then I noticed what she was looking at, my chest. My bare chest. She’d seen my naked torso before, well most of it anyway, but this was different, for both of us.

I took a deep breath and swallowed. “Bella?” I whispered loud enough for her to hear me. She didn’t move though, didn’t divert her attention from my body. “Bella, love?” I said a little louder.

This time she heard me and raised her eyes. I couldn’t help but smirk when I noticed her flush deepened and extend down to her neck and shoulders. A shiver of desire coursed through me. Bella. My beautiful Bella.

My love closed her eyes and took a deep breath. When she opened them again, they were steadier and her breathing more regulated. Her heart was still beating faster than normal.

I watched as she moved toward the opposite side of the bed and slipped under the covers. She situated herself about a foot away. I waited to see what she would do. And for several very long minutes she didn’t do anything expect watch me.

Then, reaching out her hand slowly, she placed it over my heart in the most gentle of touches. Closing my eyes, I absorbed the feeling of heat from her palm as it rested against me. So much was in just that one touch and I never wanted it to end.

Her voice came in a whisper so sweet and full of love. It was just my name but it was questioning as her eyes searched mine. I met her gaze and held it. “I thought…” I started but then stopped. How did I ask?

Bella’s eyes were watching me closely and I had no idea how much my face betrayed my nerves, my uncertainty. I closed my eyes and tried once again. “I thought we could try…you touching me,” I whispered in what I knew was a shaky voice at best.

Holding my eyes shut, I waiting for her reaction. I heard nothing, felt no movement. Her hand was still searing through my chest. I, Edward Cullen, who had faced down countless immortal creatures over the years, was being a coward. And the suspense of not knowing was torture.

Opening my lids, I saw a light in my loves eyes I’d never seen before. She held my stare and then shifted, removing her hand and placing it back in her lap. Then her mouth pulled up at the edges slightly. “What are the rules?”

I breathed a sigh of relief. She understood. “Skin,” I said. Then I thought maybe I should clarify. “I need to see…to feel.” Taking a deep breath and picking up her hand I said, “Bella, I would very much like it if you would touch me, however you’d like, where my skin is exposed.”

This, of course, was basically limited to my chest and arms but I was giving her free reign of that part of my body. I wouldn’t stop her unless I felt a total loss of control about to happen. It was a big step for me but necessary. My practice with Jasper would hopefully help but I knew feeling my love physically near me was much different than fantasizing about it.

I was again pulled out of my revelry by her movement. She sat back on her heels. “Okay,” she said, biting her lower lip.

Reaching out with my thumb, I rubbed softly, feeling the rougher edges of her teeth against my skin. A thought occurred to me at that moment and I smirked. “No biting though.”

This broke the tension a little and she laughed. I smiled back and removed my hand from her face , placing it at my side. “Shall I lay down?”

Her only answer was a nod. I moved my body lower so that I was lying flat on the bed looking up at her. Bella’s eyes showed her apprehension but they were also brimming with excitement. She watched me for three minutes and twenty seconds before sliding her body closer to mine. Keeping my hands flat at my sides, I waited to see what she would do first.

Leaning in, her damp hair fell over her shoulders cocooning me in her sent as she brought her lips to mine for a kiss that was soft and loving. “I love you,” she whispered. As she looked into my eyes, I could see the pure depth of that love and it thrilled me.

Our eyes held as I felt her hands move to my collarbone. The fingers of her right hand skimmed the ridged form beneath my skin on first my right and then my left side while her other hand rested just below. It was only a breath of a touch but it created a sizzling sensation under my flesh.

I was breathing deep, taking in the potent scent of her so close. She held my eyes as her hands graced down over my chest. Her fingers brushed my nipples and I tensed, flexing my fingers. It felt amazing having her touch me like this and my eyes closed as I let the feeling take me over.

There was no way to know if Bella was still watching my reactions but I had the feeling she was. My love knew this was a big step for me. I was giving her control, trusting her to stay within the boundaries I’d set. A part of my brain rebelled against giving her this leverage over me but I knew that was only my insecurities, my fear. Carlisle was right. Bella was right. My wife, my partner, my mate; I had to trust her with everything. We had to trust each other if this was going to work.

Her hands moved lower ghosting over my stomach toward the waistband of my pants. Again a part of my mind screamed at me to stop her; to tell her she was getting to close. I ignored it. She would stop. I trusted her.

And she did stop. But not until she had gone as far as the boundaries I’d set would allow. The light touch of her fingers ran along my waistband causing me to suck in several breaths I didn’t need.

Suddenly her touch stopped. She was still touching me but no longer moving. A part of my mind registered an increase in my love’s heart and my eyes snapped open to find her.

Bella wasn’t looking at my face though. She was looking down at her hand. No, not at her hand. Lower.

I stopped breathing as I realized what she was looking at. Me.

And I was only now realizing how close she really was. My mind started racing. Shouting at me to do something, anything.

I didn’t though. It took all the strength I had to lay still. What was going through her mind? I knew what was going through mine.

Bella had felt me a few times now through our clothing and in a way this was no different, except it was. The seventeen year old in me wanted her to touch me. But I wasn’t a normal seventeen year old, and even if propriety wasn’t holding me back the knowledge that I may not be able to handle such a step and hurt her was.

I waited and watched her. She was so still and I felt myself twitch under her penetrating gaze. The small movement should have been invisible to her but I knew instantly that she’d seen it when her lips parted slightly and she exhaled with more force than normal.

The fire where she was currently touching me intensified and my breathing became deep and heavy again as I tried to focus and calm myself down. My hands were plastered to the mattress. The desire to forget our objective tonight, pull her against me and taste her was beyond strong.

Focus. I needed to focus. And a distraction, that’s what I needed. Bella.

With sheer determination, I closed my eyes and let her heart beat provide me the piece of calm I so greatly needed. Putting effort into relaxing my hand, I reached up and touched her forearm.

As soon as my cold fingers touched her, her eyes flashed up to mine. I didn’t say anything. I didn’t know if I could.

Her eyes searched my face and she removed her hands. I was both grateful and mournful over this. But it was Bella’s turn. She was in control tonight. I would wait to see what she would do next.

It took several minutes but when she did move, it was to stretch out her own body beside me. Heat was radiating from her body; her heat, her heartbeat, her sent; they all reminding me of her life, her soul. A wave of guilt threatened to overtake me and I forced it away just as the pads of Bella’s fingers caressed the side of my face and her lips hovered over my cheek barely touching me. I shivered.

Bella had power over me like no other. I’d faced more than one deadly vampire for her and I’d gladly face down an entire army if need be. This wonderful woman was mine.

My thoughts were interrupted as her lips began moving down to my neck. Her touch was so light, so loving, but I could feel everything. She slowed her movements when she reached that part of my throat where my pulse should be. Then she licked me.

A hundred shots of electricity, all emanating from her tongue against my hard skin, sent the muscles in my body tensing. My fists clenched in response. The burn in my throat intensified and my breathing became labored. How in the world could one touch of her soft, warm tongue do this to me? Is this how it feels to her?

Then I felt Bella’s warm hand press against my left arm and slide down to curl around my fingers. Slowly, she coxed them once again into a relaxed position. “Are you okay?” she whispered. I was still reeling from the memory of what she’d just done but I answered yes anyway.

Her lips were hovering just above my throat. I could feel every breath she exhaled. Then she asked the words that made my dead heart ache. “Do you want me to stop?”

No! My mind screamed. Yes! The more logical part of my brain screamed back. The internal argument sped through my mind. I needed to give her an answer, a verbal one.

It must have taken me too long though because I felt her pull away. NO! I didn’t want that.

Reaching out with lighting speed I grabbed the arm that was pulling away from me. She froze and our eyes met. “No,” I stated with as much conviction as I could. “I don’t want you to stop.”

I released her arm as quickly as I’d taken possession of it and lay back in my original position. Bella didn’t stir though. She made no move to pick up where she’d left off. My love just watched me.

So much emotion flashed across her face. She was worried about me. I tried to convey what I wanted to say back to her without words.

Eventually she relaxed again and buried her face in my shoulder. I felt her lips brush against my hard muscles. They were so soft, so warm. Just like her.

Our little respite helped to calm me down but now as her mouth began moving lower I felt that familiar heat in the middle of my body. Concentrating on keeping my hands relaxed, I closed my eyes and just tried to enjoy. No one could do this to me except her.

My love kissed and licked her way over most of the skin of my torso with her hands trailing behind. Venom was trickling down my throat in regular intervals now that she’d was only inches away from the aching need I had for her. The shouts to stop her again filled my head. I ignored them and concentrated on her. She wouldn’t go lower. I knew she wouldn’t.

And she didn’t.

What she did do though was almost as bad as my worst fear. My love shifted her body and literally slid her way up until her face was once again level with mine. Her hands gripped my hair and her thigh lay between my legs pressing against me. Bella’s eyes, when they found mine, were dark with passion and all at once my ability to keep my hands off her was lost.

My arms wrapped around her waist closing what little distance there was still between us and my lips pressed into hers. There was no hesitation for her either. She met my mouth with equal passion.

Her fingers tugging my hair felt so good. The heat from her back underneath my fingers only intensified the fire within me. I wanted to consume her, to make her mine.

Bella shifted the lower half of her body and I felt the growl build in my throat a split second before I heard it. She felt so good against me. My mate.

Without a conscious thought, my right hand moved lower as my left moved up to tangle in her hair. The hand in her hair mimicked a lighter tugging motion to the one her hands were performing while my other hand continued on its journey lower past the waistband of her shorts. The soft, full curves of my love filled my hand and I heard the moan deep in her chest as she moved her hips against me causing me to exhale quickly.

I wanted her. Now. My hand slipped lower to the junction of her legs. I could feel the heat; the glorious heat of her.

My cold fingers brushed against the bare skin just below her shorts and I could feel the moisture underneath my tips. She was so soft and it would be so easy to do what I wanted and shift just a few inches higher.

Bella moved again, pressing herself even harder against me. “Edward,” she moaned.

She wanted this. My love wanted this just as much as I did. Brushing my thumb up the trail of wetness, I reached the barrier of her panties and a light bulb went off in my head.

No. No, I couldn’t do this. We couldn’t do this.

Moving my hand down a little, I stilled both the movements of my fingers and mouth. “Bella…”

We were both breathing hard and her sweet scent washed over me. I closed my eyes concentrating on her heartbeat. It would calm me, just like it always did. I just had to let it.

“Edward?” she said softly. “Are you okay?”

I nodded, keeping my eyes closed, not quite ready to speak.

Her hands cupped my face, caressing me. “Why did you stop?”

Swallowing, I opened my eyes and saw the most beautiful thing in my world. Her face was so full of love. How did I deserve her?

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yes.” I breathed deep feeling the burn in my throat with open arms.

She was still pressed against me. I needed space but I didn’t want her away from me. The need to touch her was still there, was always there.

I pressed her against my shoulder and moved her to lie beside me in the position we’d laid in most nights. Bella allowed me the silence of my thoughts. She didn’t pressure me to answer her but eventually I did. “I had to stop.”

“It was getting too much for you?”

A soft chuckle left my lips and she looked up. “No.”

Her eyebrow rose in question. I responded by placing a kiss on her hair and encouraging her to snuggle back against me. She did.

“Love, if I didn’t stop us…”

“Yes?”

Holding her tighter, I admitted my weakness. “If we had gone much farther, I don’t know if I would have been able to stop.” Then I looked down at her. “Unless you’ve changed your mind about waiting until after the wedding?”

She shook her head. “No. You’re right. We should wait.”

Holding her quietly in my arms I enjoyed the feel of her arm as my fingers moved. After a few minutes, I felt her try to stifle a yawn. “Are you tired, love?” I breathed against her forehead.

“Mmm. A little.”

“Rest then.” I looked over at the clock and noticed it was already two in the morning. It was well past her bedtime. “You have a big day with Alice tomorrow.”

She groaned. “I know. Shopping.”

My chest rumbled with my amusement. “It will be okay. I’m sure you’ll survive.”

Bella sighed and her arm draped over my chest. “Maybe,” she said, yawning again. “I just wish you could come to.”

I kissed her hair again and rested my cheek against her. “I’ll be here when you get back and then we can spend the rest of the evening together.”

“Okay,” she whispered sleepily.

It was the last word she uttered before I heard her heart and her breathing slow into the blissful pull of sleep.