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Perspective

Summary:
Edward told Bella he had talked with his father and brothers regarding their wedding night. This is my version of that missing moment from between Eclipse and Breaking Dawn and includes what Edward and Bella do to prepare for their first night together as husband and wife.


Notes:


32. Chapter 32

Rating 5/5   Word Count 3351   Review this Chapter

She was quiet at my side for a long time. It was early and I could tell by her breathing she wasn’t asleep.

My mind kept replaying her words ‘you’re getting better’. I knew she was right but it didn’t take all the fear away. I was not sure anything could do that.

Ever since Bella came into my life I’ve lived on the edge of the most dreaded fear and the most unrestrained bliss. I would not give her up for anything, would not trade the terror or the joy because both meant that she was really mine.

Her small fingers began tracing lines on my chest. They were random patterns, innocent, but they still sent those heavenly sensations through me reminding me how real she was, how real we were.

The pads of my own fingers ran a line up and down her arm. Our touches were chaste; there was no sexuality behind them, none of the restrained lust of a few moments before. It was just us quiet and peaceful in each other’s arms.

Reflections of light came through the open curtains falling on our skin as the sun made it’s way down over the horizon. The light made Bella seem even paler than usual giving exaggerated contrast with the black she wore.

Impulsively, I lay a single finger on the thin strap lying innocently now on her shoulder. She was pressed to my side hiding half of herself from me but the part that was visible was a blatant reminder as to just how sexy my love was. And she looked up at me when my lone finger began trailing down toward where it connected to her breast.

Her smile was shy but more confident than it had been when she’d stepped out of the bathroom. “You really like it,” she said without question this time.

“I do,” I smiled back. “I was wondering though,” I said, still idly playing with the strap. “Did you choose this or did Alice?”

A slight pink huge formed on her cheeks and I knew I could not wait to hear her answer. “Well,” she said, averting her eyes from mine. “Alice insisted I get at least one outfit. She had me try on some things,” she paused then and her blush deepened.

Trying to comfort her and let her know it was okay, I placed a soft kiss at her temple and rested my cheek against her head giving her time to collect her thoughts.

“I’d been inside Victoria’s Secret before with Renee but… Well, this was different. Alice kept saying how much you’d love to see me in this or that but…” Then she took a deep breath and sighed. “She made it clear she expected me to wear whatever we choose tonight and I didn’t think you’d appreciate some of the things she’d picked.” And then she looked up at me. “I thought this would be better and Alice liked it so…”

I had no idea what outfits Alice had Bella try on but knowing my sister and her taste in bedroom attire I couldn’t help but mentally cringe. It wasn’t that I had an aversion to seeing my love in things like that, it was more I didn’t know if I could restrain myself if I did. What she was wearing now was unbelievable and the desire I had to slip the strap, still under my fingers, down her arm and run my tongue along it’s pervious path that would lead me to the soft mounds of flesh I so wanted to taste, was nearly more than I could bare.

Closing my eyes, I forced the thoughts out of my head. Eight more days. The lower half of my body insisted it was a long time but logically I knew it was not, especially for a vampire.

Bella sensed my distress and shifted, pulling herself up so her eyes were level with mine. Her soft hands cupped my face willing me to look at her. “Are you alright?”

Opening my eyes, I knew they were still glazed over with the passion I was fighting hard to control. She saw it and her heart began to fly. Letting my lids fall shut again, I listened to that sound.

The beats gradually got slower, back to normal, and I felt my body calm with hers. She was my angel, my center, and even when her heart no longer beat she would be so.

We decided maybe a distraction was in order and decided to watch a movie. And after flipping through several channels, settled on an old film starting Grace Kelly and Bing Crosby called The Country Girl.

Watching old movies was something I typically did but it was different with Bella as so many things were for me. I’d lived in that time if not the place. She hadn’t and her questions about what life was really like then made me remember things I’d not thought about in a long time. This movie was made in the mid fifties; right about the time Alice and Jasper joined our family. While the rest of the world was just getting back to normal after the war, the Cullen’s were adjusting to our new family members.

After the movie was over, Bella still seemed reluctant to fall asleep. She wanted to talk and ultimately read.

Her book of choice, the only book we had with us, was the Sex for Dummies book Emmett had given me. Although I’d brought it out last night, I’d put it away earlier today thinking it had been a waste of space in my bag. Bella had other ideas. She sat down beside me and opened up right where we left off.

The next chapter was titled Virginity. It turned out not to be so bad. Mostly it talked about the importance of choosing the right person for your first time and not just wanting to ‘get it over with’.

When we finished that chapter, Bella leaned into me placing a chaste kiss on my lips. “I love you,” she whispered.

I returned her sentiment with a half smile and a kiss of my own. There was no need for us to vocalize how grateful we were to be the other’s first, we knew.

Still not ready to call it a night, Bella wanted to go on to the next chapter. This one was entitled Foreplay.

My hand automatically went up to pinch the bridge of my nose and Bella laughed. “I’m sure it’s not that bad,” she said.

In a way she was correct. There were a lot of things we’d already done including me calling her ‘love’. It wasn’t something I thought of as foreplay; it was an endearment. She was my love, my Bella. There was also a lot about touching and kissing, which we had done more than our share of.

The only real uncomfortable part came when we had to once again discuss what could and could not be attempted before her transformation. But Bella as always seemed okay with the temporary limitations.

I noticed talking about this was getting easier for me. Although it still made me uncomfortable, I was able to share my thoughts and feelings without stumbling over every other word. Maybe it was my realization early yesterday that we might actually be able to do this or was it that we were in fact getting physically closer. I didn’t have that answer; I only knew what was.

The following chapter was on intercourse and we both agreed maybe it was best to leave that for another night.

She still fought sleep even though I knew she must be tired. It was our last night alone until the honeymoon and I knew she felt that weight as much as I did. Even with Alice’s interruption, our time here had been special. We were alone as we rarely ever were. And more than anything I realized it was that reason, more than any other that I couldn’t wait to get to Isle Esme. Bella would be mine in every sense of the word and only mine for however long we were there. I couldn’t wait.

~

Bella finally drifted off to sleep in my arms around three o’clock. She’d worn herself out by staying up so late and slept soundly.

I spent my entire night just watching her. The beauty of how her eyelashes rested on her face; how her brow furrowed when she took a deeper than normal breath. These were all things I’d seen time and time again from her but each one was special to me, precious.

She started to stir around ten. Her arms gripped my waist tighter as she cuddled closer taking her first morning breath. “Morning, love.”

“Hmmm,” was all she said her body moving to fit its self against mine.

Bringing my arms around to cradle her to me I pressed my lips to her forehead. “Are you hungry?” She shook her head laying it on my chest just beneath my chin. Bella seemed to have no desire to move from her position even though I knew she was fully awake.

We lay that way for the next hour, neither of us moving much other than gentle caresses. It was her humanness that reluctantly led us to part. But before disappearing into the bathroom she turned to me and asked. “Do I need to shower?”

Of course, as I knew it would, her embarrassment and our conversation came up again. This time I felt more comfortable answering it. “That would probably be best.” She nodded and disappeared behind the closed door.

Once we both got dressed and Bella ate a late breakfast, we checked out of the hotel and headed for Pikes Place. I’d never actually visited the market before today although Rose and Alice have frequently. It had never really made sense to go somewhere before today where human food and crafts seemed to be the biggest attractions. But coming here with Bella was different. Seeing things through her eyes was always fascinating.

We slowly walked through the streets, making our way through each building. There were people everywhere and I had to be careful not to press up against anyone least they feel the solid stone of my body.

There were several men throwing fish in one building and we stood and watched with many others for several minutes. Bella wondered out loud how slippery the fish were and a few of the people around us laughed and nodded in agreement to her question. The men never missed a beat though; it was obviously routine for them.

Keeping with our slow pace, we worked our way through a building full of fresh fruits, vegetables and other more creative things such as blankets and paintings. There was a lot to see and I was glad I’d chosen to bring her here.

After four hours of walking, I asked if she was hungry. Her response was a shrug of her shoulders, which gave me the answer of yes but she didn’t want to interrupt our time with something as human as eating. I suppressed the urge to roll my eyes.

In the end, I didn’t have to press her to eat. The next building we walked into was full of restaurants including a Starbucks. There was a huge sign indicating this was the original coffee shop and with an excited look Bella pulled me inside.

She rattled off a list of words that only made half sense to me but the young man behind the counter seemed to understand completely. He rang up her order and told her her total, his eyes and smile lingering just a little too much to be merely polite. The boy thought she was pretty, but thankfully his mind wasn’t filth like Mike Newton’s.

Bella reached into her pocket where I knew she was carrying money but I, as always, was faster. Handing the money to the boy, he finally looked at me. I could tell I startled him although I hadn’t done anything intentionally. He’d just been too focused on Bella and I too still at her side to gain his attention before this.

After retrieving her cappuccino, we continued walking through the building. There were several interesting things, some foods I’d never heard of. I used it as a perfect excuse for her to eat insisting that I wanted to know what they tasted like and could only to that through her. Thankfully she didn’t fight me and we spent the next two hours with me watching her eat various foods and her trying to describe them to me. By the time we were done though, it was time to head back to the car and begin our journey home.

My love sighed contentedly as she sat in her seat beside me and reached for my hand. “I had a really good time. Thank you,” she smiled.

“You’re welcome, love. I’m glad you enjoyed it.”

We talked more on the way home about our day. But the closer we got to our destination I began to sense her getting nervous. “Is something wrong?”

“No,” she shook her head. I frowned, making it clear I didn’t believe her. “No, really,” she said. “It’s just… This weekend has been so nice and now we’re going home with my dad and your family. I’m going to miss it being just us.”

Pulling her hand up to my lips, I breathed deep before running my nose against the flat of her palm. “We will be alone next week. Just us.”

Her attitude seemed to completely change. “So we’re going some place isolated or are you just renting out a penthouse or something were no one will bother us?”

The laughter rolled out of me. I could help it. Her mind never stopped working when she wanted something and right now her key goal was to find out where I was taking her on our honeymoon.

When she realized I wasn’t going to answer her, she leaned back in her chair and sighed. “I don’t get this silly tradition.” I just smiled at that. She would like the island and yes we would be alone, isolated from everyone, just us.

~

Charlie was waiting for us when we arrived at her house. His thoughts were anxious and he was debating whether he should ask her what we’d done this weekend. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know.

No matter how many times Bella or I told him, he was convinced we were having sex. I knew there was nothing I could do to change his mind and if he ever knew I spent most of my nights in his daughter’s bedroom he’d be even less likely to believe us. As it was though, he seemed to come to the conclusion that ignorance was the better option so I left Bella and Charlie not long after dropping her off and headed home.

My family’s thoughts filled my mind only minutes before they realized I was home. Well all except Alice who knew to the minute when I’d walk through the door. I had not forgotten about the ‘little talk’ I planned to have with my sister.

I walked in the door and had only a split second to get out of the way before Emmett came barreling toward me. “Not in the house!” Esme yelled disapprovingly. Then she walked down the stairs and smiled at me. “How was Seattle?”

Yeah, how was Seattle? Emmett’s thoughts rang through my head with heavy insinuation. I ignored them.

“It went well.”

I bet it did. See any action while you were gone? He chuckle.

Esme didn’t need to read his mind to know what was going on. “Emmett behave yourself.”

“Aw come on, mom. I’ve got to have a little fun.”

She just gave him a loaded stare and his chest vibrated with his contained laughter. I rolled my eyes.

Rose floated down the stairs then with Alice and Jasper in her wake. Reaching the bottom of the stairs, Alice stopped. Her eyes rose to meet mine and she looked apologetic. I’m sorry, Edward. I didn’t know she’d…

It didn’t matter. I didn’t want to hear her excuses. A low growl rumbled in my chest.

Jasper reacted instinctively to protect his mate. Everyone else looked back and forth between us, waiting.

Neither of us spoke verbally. Her mind was racing to show me what had happened between the two of them, what she’d said. I was also able to see some of what Bella had told me last night about trying on what my love felt were clothes that would make me uncomfortable.

What she was showing me was not helping my temper. It was true she hadn’t come out and told Bella but she knew how perceptive she was. Alice, more than anyone else, was aware of my loves ability to put the pieces of a puzzle together given enough opportunity. Her subtle hints to try and get my fiancée to share with her exactly how far our ‘practices’ had gone was just too much. “Stay out of it, Alice,” I growled.

Everyone was watching us now even Carlisle who’d just came through the back door. It was a face off.

I didn’t see my father until he was beside me. His hand came to rest on my shoulder and I pushed it off. He brought it down again and this time made sure I would not shrug him off. “Edward, stop. I’m sure Alice didn’t mean…”

“She told Bella we could ‘smell her’,” I said through gritted teeth. No one seemed to get it though. Taking a deep breath, I pinched the bridge of my nose and then looked at Carlisle so he’d know I didn’t plan on pouncing on Alice anytime soon.

He released me and nodded. I picked up my bags again and headed toward the stairs not even glancing at my sister.

They let me go but I could hear first the question in their minds and then again as they vocalized and asked Alice what was going on. She down played it of course. Alice didn’t sit with Bella in her arms while watching her eyes well up with tears of frustration and embarrassment.

I took responsibility for some of that embarrassment. If I’d gotten up the courage to get over my own discomfort and told her, none of this would have happened. It didn’t change the fact that Alice should have kept her mouth shut.

The anger began to rise again and I knew I needed to calm down. Unfortunately the one person who was guaranteed to relax me was unavailable now.

Quickly putting my things away, I lay on my bed and closed my eyes. It was so easy to picture her here with me and I remembered our weekend, leaving out the not so pleasant parts.

We had gone about as far as we could, as far as I was willing to allow us to go before making her mine forever. The rest would have to just be. By the time I crawled into her window tonight we would be down to seven days, one week. I wanted to spend the little time we had left enjoying our life and not pushing too hard.

If something did go wrong this could be Bella’s last week as a human. That thought brought with it more meaning now than it had before. I couldn’t wait to give her all of me forever, no restrictions, no restraint.