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Perspective

Summary:
Edward told Bella he had talked with his father and brothers regarding their wedding night. This is my version of that missing moment from between Eclipse and Breaking Dawn and includes what Edward and Bella do to prepare for their first night together as husband and wife.


Notes:


6. Chapter 6

Rating 5/5   Word Count 1463   Review this Chapter

Early the next morning after Bella fell into a deep sleep and her talking had ceased, I ran home to change. As I made my way up to my room I heard movement throughout the house and knew my family was home. Their thoughts were in unison. Edward. Well at least they all knew I was home.

Selecting new clothes from my closet I began to remove my shirt. I wasn’t really in a hurry since I knew Bella would be asleep for at least the next three hours. Maybe I would find Esme before I left.

Just as I slipped my jeans on there was a knock at my door. It was Alice. “Come in Alice.”

She bounced into the room, her usual pixie self. “How was the meadow Edward?”

“Fine. Cloudy but dry. Of course you already know that.”

She just smiled. “So…are you bringing Bella by today?”

This looked like it was going to be a long conversation. Alice was taking her time. Working up to something. She was blocking her thoughts from me, which was never a good sign. “I don’t know yet. Am I?”

She giggled, “Yes you are.”

I nodded, “Anything else Alice?”

Impatient, impatient. “I saw you talked with Jasper and Emmett yesterday.”

I groaned. “You couldn’t have blocked that out or something.”

“You know as well as I that it doesn’t work that way.”

I let out a defeated sigh, “And?”

“And,” Alice paused. “I know how worried you are and I understand which is why I think you should let Jasper and Emmett help you.” Then she paused. “Well maybe not Emmett but that’s up to you.”

I looked at her skeptically. “Help me how?”

“Well…” she continued, “Jasper could help you…prepare.”

“Prepare how Alice?” I was getting frustrated with her obvious stalling. She knew I wasn’t going to like this.

“With his gift.”

I pinched the bridge of my nose trying to stay calm. “Specifics Alice. How do you think Jasper can help “prepare” me with his gift?”

“He could…let you feel things.”

I didn’t need anything more. I instantly got what she meant. “No. Absolutely not.”

“Why not?” she pouted. “It could help you. Make it easier. Isn’t that what you want?”

“Not like that.”

“Jasper’s willing…”

“You already discussed this with him?!”

“Of course, silly.”

“Alice!”

“Don’t you even start with me Edward. You know I’m right. If this helps then isn’t it worth it?”

I sank down on the bed defeated. “I can’t.”

“Sure you can.” When I didn’t answer she concluded. “Just think about it ok?”

I just sat there so she took that as a yes. Seconds later she’d left the room leaving me with something else to think about.

~

I returned to Bella’s room to find her already awake. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” she said sitting up.

The covers fell about her waist floating gracefully around her curves. She moved over clearly wanting me to join her. Removing my jacket and shoes, I moved to sit with her on the bed. She lay her head on my chest and placed her hand on my silent heart.

I didn’t believe her when she told me nothing was wrong. Something had caused her to wake up early. “Tell me what’s wrong, Bella. What made you wake? Did you have a nightmare?”

She shook her head no and her hand began a slow circular motion on my chest like she was attempting to provide comfort. I waited for her to say something but she remained silent. I’d long gotten used to not hearing her thoughts but that didn’t mean the frustration had disappeared when she wouldn’t share what she was thinking with me.

“Bella…”

She sighed, “Edward…”

She seemed to be composing her thoughts so I waited, hoping she would tell me what she was thinking. Bella made me wait for nine minutes. Nine minutes of torture.

“I’ve been thinking.”

I waited.

She pulled away from me a little so she could see my face. “Yesterday you said…you said you were trying to prepare for our wedding night. What did you mean?”

I closed my eyes. Why was she asking me this? I brought my free hand up and pinched the bridge of my nose before opening my eyes again. Bella was watching me, waiting. “Bella I can’t tell you that.”

“Why?”

I shook my head. “It wouldn’t be…proper.”

“Proper?” she asked. And then she giggled. Giggled.

“What’s funny?”

She was trying to compose herself and not doing a very good job. “Sorry,” she apologized. “It’s just…” She sighed and became serious again. “Edward we’re going to be…married…in less than a month and…don’t you think this is something we should be working on together.”

“No,” I quickly shook my head.

“Edward,” she said in that firm tone she always used when she was putting her foot down about something.

I closed my eyes again and took a deep breath focusing on the things that centered me, the burn in my throat, her heartbeat, the heat of her body. “Bella…” I said in a much softer tone, opening my eyes to her pleading. “I just can’t.”

She changed positions, coming up on her knees and held both of my cold hands in her warms ones. “Edward listen to me. I love you. And I want to help you if I can.”

I began to look away and she squeezed my hands. She wanted my focus on her. “I can help Edward. I want to help.” Then softer. “Let me help. Please.”

I searched her face. Her eyes were pleading. What if she was right? Should I let her help? Bella did have a point, she was going to be my wife. Maybe it would be ok but there would still have to be boundaries and she would need to understand that. “Ok.” I whispered.

She smiled and a warm feeling spread through my body. “Thank you,” she whispered back.

Bella shifted back so she was once again curled into my chest. “You should go back to sleep, love.” She shook her head but I pulled us both down so my head was on the pillow. She snuggled closer. I still had no idea how she could be comfortable against my hard body but I loved the way she felt against me.

Her hand began to make circles on my chest again. I placed a kiss on her hair, letting her fragrance fill me completely. “Tell me how I can help.” She whispered so low I almost didn’t hear.

I thought about it for a moment. What would help? I thought about what had helped me in the past with Bella. Small steps. Taking things one-step at a time and building my tolerance. I could still remember my fear of just touching her, holding her hand, kissing her. Now I was able to do all of those things. And although they still took concentration on my part, I had become comfortable with what amount of pressure was expectable and what was not.

I didn’t fear touching her in those ways anymore. What I now feared was…touching her in new ways. Ways that I had never touched another person, human or vampire, before. The concept should be the same though. Practice…should help.

My pause had only been a few seconds but Bella seemed to notice the hesitation. She’d gotten used to my quick thought processes. “I guess…” I swallowed. I couldn’t believe I was saying this. “we could…practice.”

Bella wanted clarification. “What do you mean…practice.”

I sighed. “When we first met I was afraid to touch you for fear of hurting you.”

She gave me a comforting squeeze. It always amazed and warmed me when Bella tried to comfort me. “I know.”

“Well…we took things slow and went one step at a time and things got easier for me.”

I felt her smile. “I know.” She placed a soft kiss on my chest. “I’m glad.”

Running my hand over her hair down to her shoulder, “I’m thinking maybe we could use the same concept.”

Her hand stopped its motion. She was thinking. “So you want to build your tolerance for me?”

I laughed. “In a way, yes.” I needed to clarify though. “There would still be boundaries Bella. There are still lines we can’t not cross but maybe if we…pushed my limits a bit…”

She nodded. “I agree. So where do we start?”

“Not tonight.” I said firmly but softly. “The sun won’t be up for another two hours. We’ll figure it out tomorrow. Now sleep, love.” I began humming her lullaby. She didn’t fight it and within a few minutes she was asleep.