This is La Tua Cantante in Edward's POV--as was promised. A lot of your unanswered questions from BPOV will be answered in this story. So I hope you enjoy and please rate and comment. I love hearing from you guys!
21. Chapter 21: The Civil War
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After awhile, Jasper reminded me: 'Hey, did you ever tell Bella about that essay on the Civil War for her college applications?' Random, but okay.
"Oh, I forgot;" I said, to Jasper and then to Bella, "you have to write your essay for your college applications."
"I'm sorry?" She asked, now looking at him, "Why wasn't I aware of this?"
Well, with everything else going on, I might have forgotten. I shrugged, "My bad."
She groaned, "No, I don't do essays. Please write it for me."
Wow, she must really be desperate; she never asked me to cheat for her. I shook my head, "I won't cheat for you, Bella."
She scoffed, "Stop being so good all of the time."
"What?" I laughed. What an absurd misconception! I was the farthest thing from good.
She groaned again and cringed, "I hate writing essays. I'm a terrible writer."
"No, you're not; you're an excellent writer. You are very talented." I couldn't help but smile slightly at her reaction.
"But, I don't approve! What's the topic, anyway?"
"The Civil War."
"WHAT?!" She scoffed, "Ugh, who cares about the stupid Civil War;" She clearly forgot about Jasper's involvement with it, "we aren't even in Texas--" She broke herself off and looked to Jasper sheepishly, "Sorry, Jasper."
He smiled slightly, "It's okay." 'Can't expect everyone to remember it.' "If you want, I can help you write it."
"Okay," she said immediately. "Thanks."
Jasper and I chuckled softly. 'Never changes,' he thought, 'People today just don't care anymore about the hardships that their ancestors went through for them.'
Yeah, well times were changing rapidly--more so than any other time period. It could only be expected with how corrupted and careless everyone had become.
Bella got up, regretfully, and went over to Jasper, where he helped her with everything, explaining everything to her in great detail.
It was so interesting. I found myself getting lost in his stories. Though I knew quite a bit, it was fascinating to see a first-hand account of it all. It really was the worst war of all time--of all the history of the United States. I listened with great intent to every word Jasper said, absorbing it all, and seeing it all in his head as if I was literally there in the war, looking through Jasper's eyes.
"...and that ended the war in 1865." Jasper finished, looking now to Bella, who was resting her cheek carelessly in her palms, struggling to pay attention and not fall asleep, staring blankly at him.
'Is she sleeping?" He thought, irritably, as he said, "Bella, are you listening to me?"
"Huh?" She snapped out of it and slapped her face, to stay awake. "Oh, sorry; I must've fallen asleep again; can you start over?"
'Am I really so boring; I killed her with my words!' Jasper thought. "Bella!" He reprimanded, with good reason.
Why was she taking this for granted? She was being so irrational about this.
"What?!" She complained, "I'm sorry; this is just so boring. I don't see what this has to do with me." She folded her arms stubbornly.
'What is happening to the world?' Jasper thought, 'Does history mean nothing anymore?' Apparently not. "What doesn't it have to do with you?" He asked, turning her question around on her. 'Let's see how she holds up under pressure.' He thought, as she rolled her eyes impatiently.
"Are all vampires so damn cryptic; what the hell are you talking about?"
'Not cryptic--wise. Knowledgable. We are talented and skilled at talking people into corners. It's a gift, really.' He thought. Oh, that was beautiful! He should have said that out loud. I had to force myself not to say it, in fact.
"Think about it, Bella," he said patiently. "If things had turned out differently, how would your life be different? You don't think it would have affected you, but it would. More than you know. How would you have viewed the descendants of those slaves? See, many people viewed them as animals; worthless things created to do our bidding. I am ashamed to admit that I was guilty of that."
I saw his remorse and the way he felt about the slaves back then and it wasn't actually as bad as he was making it out to be. I saw the way he viewed them, how he treated them, and considering how most were treated, he was quite kind.
"I saw them as God's gift to us; just something to help me make life a little easier." 'God, Edward, how? How can I possibly make her see?' "I never really thought about them as more than free labor. I would never have mistreated them, by any means, but I wasn't the kindest towards them either. Once I was changed, into this monster, I realized how wrong I was. They weren't the monsters in the matter...we were. I've always been a monster and maybe this is my punishment for that; I don't know. But I know that I deserve it."
No. No, I didn't believe that. Jasper was the last person to deserve punishment--he didn't; he was one of the best people I knew. He could never deserve punishment.
"The only thing I look forward to about living forever is spending it with the people love. With my family. With Alice."
Bella smiled slightly and he shook his head, desperate to make her see, "Do not take it so lightly, Bella. That war was one of the worst to ever be fought. We were fighting our friends, our relatives, over such a ridiculous matter. I know people - or knew, rather - " those words caused him such agony, "who had to kill their fathers, their brothers, their sons, their nephews, their cousins; even their best friends."
He shuddered involuntarily and I saw the horrible memories as he relived them one by one, before he said, softly, "Please take this seriously. I know that to you it seems unimportant and insignificant but that is because the war was fought. Without this war, our lives - your life - would've been...unbearable. It pains me to think about the lives that were ruined by that war, bu tit kills me to think about the lives of those slaves."
His pain was so intense I had to force myself to get out of his mind, to not feel it as a result.
"They were saved by the persistence and endless efforts of the Union. You have to remember that."
Bella swallowed audibly and forced a nod, clearly surprised by the nostalgia and remorse that Jasper felt.
'I think I'm getting to her,' Jaser thought, 'She 's beginning to understand...'
"I'm so sorry," Bella choked out, shaking herhead, "I didn't...know."
He nodded, "It's okay, Bella. I just had to make you understand." 'Did I go too far?' He wondered, looking to me.
No, she had to know. Bella nodded and I knelt behind her, placing my hands on her shoulders. "Do you understand, Bella? Do you know why it matters?" I asked, softly.
She nodded again, almost robotically, and I kissed her head, before nodding to Jasper.
'Think she'll hate me later?' He thought. Highly unlikely--it was impossible to hate Jasper. You couldn't help but love him and his ability had nothing to do with that, he was just such an amazing person.
"Are you ready, Bella?"
She nodded, "Yeah, go ahead."
"Here;" I began massaging her shoulders lightly, hoping it would help her stay awake and not distract her. "Maybe this will help keep you awake."
'Whoa, whoa, whoa, keep it clean--I'm not interested in you two getting distracted and shooting for third base, man.' Jasper thought, jokingly, 'Don't even think about it.'
Ugh, how long would my sex life remain an open book in this family? I always gave everyone else their privacy; it was so unfair of them to not grant me mine. I was not that interesting.
Bella nestled into me, allowing Jasper to continue, absorbing every word he told her, which was quite impressive, considering I couldn't hear a word he said.
When he finished, he said, "Okay?...You got it?"
"Yes," she said, certainly, "Thank you, Jasper."
"Anytime," he said, with a smile. 'I have no fears, no concerns. I am totally fine with her around now.' He thought, proudly.
"Jasper?" Bella said, regretfully.
"I'm sorry...about everything. About all you went through...about my immaturity on the issue...about all the pain you felt." She sounded so sympathetic for him, it was amazing.
'My God, she...is...incredible. You really lucked out, Edward. She's so great. Never have I met anyone so selfless-except Alice, of course.' He thought, while saying with a smile, "It's okay, Bella; really. It was all worth it. It all allowed me to have Alice. That is the most precious gift I have ever been given."
His thoughts were filled with his love for Alice, which I couldn't help but admire.
She smiled and then sighed, "All right...I better start writing this. Stick close, Jasper, I might need your advice."
"I'm not going anywhere," he said, shrugging. 'This is what I'm here for, if nothing else.'
Bella grabbed some paper and a pen from a nearby drawer, stretched out on her stomach, and began writing.
Unable to control myself, I laid down beside her, lying on my side, playing with her hair and gently rubbed her back as she wrote.
How was she not getting distracted when I was? I stiffened up, my entire being aching, throbbing, desperate to have more right now, but I couldn't. God, how I so wanted her!
Jasper snorted in his head, 'Whoa, calm down, Edward! I have to wait, too, and you're killing me over here!'
Embarrassed, I buried my face in Bella's shoulder and waited for it to go away, which it never fully did. It never could. Everything about her was so intoxiating, it should be a sin. Jasper thankfully took control of both our emotions, making it somewhat easier.
Once she finished, she sighed and collapsed dramatically. "Done!"
'You know, I never thought her much for drama.' Jasper thought, 'I do now.'
I took it and read it quickly, before nodding, "Good job; I'm impressed." It was great for a rough draft. It was hard to believe she wrote this in a matter of a couple of hours.
"Don't be so shocked!" She said, looking to me.
"Who's shocked?" I said, smiling.
'I have to admit: I'm a little shocked.' Jasper thought, sheepishly.
"Besides me?" She said, standing up and stretching, "Okay...I'm hungry."
I rose to my feet and followed her into the kitchen.
"Huh..." she said, checking the fridge, "Think Charlie will notice I've been living on rations?"
"I can run get you something," I offered, "What are you in the mood for?"
She shrugged, "You decide; I don't care."
I nodded, "Okay." I kissed her head and said, "I'll be right back," before taking off.
- Chapter 1: Nothing
- Chapter 2: Risks
- Chapter 3: Life and Death
- Chapter 4: Carpe Diem
- Chapter 5: Proposal
- Chapter 6: Breakfast
- Chapter 7: Grizzly Bear
- Chapter 8: Mountain Lions
- Chapter 9: Control
- Chapter 10: Misery
- Chapter 11: Realizations
- Chapter 12: Courage
- Chapter 13: Intimacies
- Chapter 14: Alone
- Chapter 15: Sex Dream
- Chapter 16: Discussions
- Chapter 17: Third Time's a Charm
- Chapter 18: Celebration
- Chapter 19: Triumph
- Chapter 20: First Night
- Chapter 21: The Civil War
- Chapter 22: Absurdities
- Chapter 23: Dealings
- Chapter 24: Unrepentance
- Chapter 25: Comfort
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- 29 Oct 08
- 09 Jan 09