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Objective Beauty

Rosalie is beautiful, she knows it and so does everyone else. She's fought with what it's cost her all her life and a day out in the town might be just what she needs... To exercise her power over men. She'll eat them up, in the metaphorical sense of course. But will she leave satisfied?


2. Cars Should Be People

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Cars are what people should be like: I can tell what they need, and why they need it. They don’t complain unless there is something to complain about. Cars make sense.

I’m one of those lucky girls that have found a guy who loves them for who they are on the inside. Emmett loves that I’m sexy, but he also loves me. I don’t understand it, and it frustrates me sometimes because I know I don’t deserve him. I was out of line today and I know that. I shouted at Bella and I had no right but Emmett was right there beside me afterwards telling me it’s okay.

It’s not okay.

I treat my family like I don’t care about them. I treat Emmett like he is just some college sweetheart. I am incapable of letting anyone close to me. I know that without Emmett my sky would be constantly black, and I know that I love him… But not the way that he loves me. - Unconditionally. I can’t do that. There is a barrier that I keep up and I really do want to knock it down. I want to run into his arms and never leave...

… But something holds me back. I don’t want to get hurt again. I don’t want to put myself on the line, to feel everything, all over again. I don’t think Emmett would ever hurt me, but if he didn’t have a choice… If it happens by mistake…

I’m being stupid.

Lying under a car looking at all the parts… You can predict what’s going to happen. I know which parts are going to rust faster than others; I know which components look like they might need replacing soon. But when it comes to real life I don’t have a clue.

My heart swells. I can hear him laughing, Nessie giggling… It’s so easy to imagine that she’s my child, that Emmett’s the father… That I’m the mother. I close my eyes and try to imagine my daughter. Big, blue eyes with soft curly blond hair that billows softly over her rosy cheeks… I want her to be real so much.

“You know that you’re Nessie’s favourite aunt.” Edward. Damnit.

“You know that I want to be so much more than just an Aunt. It’s like an Ant: bloody insignificant. If I were to die tomorrow, she’s get over it. She has Bella. She has you.”

“Maybe, but Emmett wouldn’t. He’s family to you. And you know that I wouldn’t. You might annoy the hell out of me sometimes, but you’re still my sister.”

“I’m not quite sure if I should say ‘thank you’ or ‘piss off’, so how about I say nothing at all?”

“Okay then. Just listen. Nessie loves you, and you should know by now that if anyone can tell, it’s me. Not only have I heard her think it, I’ve heard how Jasper feels it. It’s true, one hundred percent. Yes, if you were to die tomorrow she might possibly get over it, but then again she has eternity to do so and I know it would take most of that time just to start the process. You are her family, you’re one of her favourite aunts and that will never change. She owes her life to you, and though she might not know it yet, I do. Bella does. Emmett does. Everyone knows that the only reason she is sitting on the floor giggling away right now is because you and Bella fought for her.

“I am blessed in so many ways to have found Bella. I know you might disagree with me, but she’s the perfect woman for me. I love her, one hundred percent. You may doubt the feelings that you have for Emmett, but that doesn’t mean that they aren’t real. I doubt the existence of so much but no matter how much I may doubt something, nothing changes the fact that it still exists. The way that you think about him is much like the way that I think about Bella, and Jasper about Alice, Carlisle about Esme… You may not know it yet, but it’s true. It’s real.

“Now I could say a million things to try and convince you, but honestly… Only you can convince you. The feelings are there. You just need to find them, to feel them completely. Throw yourself into it and don’t be afraid. You are one of the strongest people I know and your capacity to love is vast. Maybe that’s why you are scared, but sooner or later we all have to conquer our fears.”

I could hear him walking back to the house. I knew that if I could, I would be crying. To have all my insecurities pointed out in a single speech… My heart throbbed. If I didn’t need it why couldn’t it just go away?!

Falling in love was the single most petrifying thing in the world. I’d been falling in love for almost a century and the free-fall was killing me. I want to hit the floor, I want it all to be over. I want to love Emmett the way that he loves me…

… Is it possible for someone as beautiful as me to be so ugly?

To have loved and lost is the hardest thing. But to have found and not be able to love… That is harder still.