Rosalie is beautiful, she knows it and so does everyone else. She's fought with what it's cost her all her life and a day out in the town might be just what she needs... To exercise her power over men. She'll eat them up, in the metaphorical sense of course. But will she leave satisfied?
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His face was etched with pain and I couldn’t stay away. I was huddled up against the wall of our room, trying my hardest to not touch him… But it was impossible. I ran over, “I really want to love you, Emmett. I want to look at you the way that you look at me. I want to kiss you with the same fever that you kiss me… I want to love you, I really do. But it’s impossible: I don’t know how. I never knew, but at least back then I had some vague idea… It’s gone, everything… I care for you more than I care for my life, more than I care for anything else in the world. But it’s not the same. I want it to be the same.”
His arms wrapped around my shoulders and I could feel him gently squeezing. “Rose, you do love me, I know you do. I can see it in your eyes when you look at me, and I can feel it in the way you kiss me. Jasper tells me all the time that your emotions make it hard for him to think because they are so strong and Edward is constantly telling me how much you care. You do love me. I need reassurance every once in a while from my brothers, but there isn’t a doubt in their mind. There isn’t a doubt in mine, I just like to be told.”
I tense slightly; I never knew my brothers listened to me that much, sensed me so much. Did I really love so strongly?
“Edward says I love you, but that I just don’t know it yet… But if you tell me, he tells me, Jasper tells me… Then I do know it… So why doesn’t it register? Am I just incapable of showing it? I think that I want to love you so much that it seems like I do… But my past… My human life, it stands in the way. Whenever I look at you I imagine what it would be like if you were human, if I were human. I’ve envisioned our children and our life… And I can’t have that. It tears me apart. I want to be with you completely, but I want a child so much that I push you away. That’s my problem: I’m obsessed… I just… I need to be… Emmett, do you still love me?”
He laughs, “Rosalie Hale Cullen… I love you more than anything in the world. I want children too and I want them with you, but we can’t and you know it. If I could I would give you a son that is just crazy about cars as you are. Or a daughter, just as beautiful. I want to give you everything, but I can’t and that tears me apart. I love you so much and seeing you in pain… I can’t stand it, but I try so hard to pretend that everything is okay. I try and understand what you’re going through, but honestly I haven’t a clue. I know you’re hurting and I’d do anything to change that so I try my hardest to love you even harder. I know you love me and you might not be able to show me, but I don’t care. The feelings are there and one day you’ll come around.”
His kisses scatter across my forehead, down my nose until finally they reach my lips and the fireworks really start. I know this isn’t the end of the line and that I have so much further to travel with him… But he understands as much as he can and he loves me anyway… He loves me regardless. He loves me unconditionally.
We’ll never have children and so we’ll never be parents. We are lovers, soul mates and that’s a reality I’m happy with. Men will always be fools, but I’ve found me something so much more than a man: I’ve found me a gentleman. I will love him because I really want to and if the day ever comes when I have to chose between my existence and his I know what my choice will be because a world without him in it… Isn’t a world I want to live in.
Some people search their entire lives for someone to love and then blow it because they aren’t ready. I’m still not ready but my soul mate understands, he’s waiting for me and one day I’ll go to him, full of love. Edward is right, I can tell that the emotions are there; I’m just not ready to fully experience them. It’ll take time but the love my mind is hiding from me… I’ll feel it completely one day, and when that day comes my life will be complete. So complete that I won’t need a child, or revenge… All I’ll need is Emmett.
I’ll still tease every pathetic little man I see and I’ll still steal and drive incredibly fast cars just to escape what I’m feeling. For now, that’s all I can do. But I’m going to get better: I will heal.
Rosalie Hale is going to become Rosalie Cullen. Completely. And my, my does Rosalie Cullen love Emmett. So much.