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Fire and Ice

Summary:
Some say the world will end in fire, some say in ice. From what I've tasted of desire, I hold with those who favor fire. But if it had to perish twice, I know enough of hate to say, that for destruction, ice is also great and would suffice. There's nothing more potent than fire and ice. *Written Pre-Breaking Dawn Release. *To Be Whole is the same story from Bella's perspective. It doesn't matter which you read first. please review!


Notes:


2. Control

Rating 0/5   Word Count 2613   Review this Chapter

I listened as Bella padded back down the hall from the bathroom. It was a good thing we even had a bathroom, for all the use most of us got out of it. Alice spent a healthy amount of time in front of a mirror, though it always amused me that she was actually less concerned about her looks than Rosalie. I swiftly changed into a pair of cashmere pajama bottoms Esme had given me last Christmas, and a plain black t-shirt.

Bella joined me in the bed as I lay there, holding my arm out for her to lay herself next to me. She splayed her arm around my waist, and leaned her head on my shoulder. I didn't let how sexy she looked in that blue camisole set go unnoticed.

I relaxed, closing my eyes, breathing in her scent as I listened to her heart beat steadily. She giggled.

"What's so funny," I asked, still keeping my eyes shut.

"Nothing," she said, sighing. She turned to nudge her face into my neck, making me begin to slowly go crazy with the intoxication that breathed Bella.

I pulled on her arm a little, shifting my body, so she was almost lying completely on top of me. At the same moment I pulled her arm, I tugged on her leg too, pulling it up to my waist, as her arm gripped my stomach. I could hear her breath stop as I let go of her arm and leg in another swift moment. It took about two seconds.

"Are you alright," I asked, concerned. I could tell she was surprised, but I didn't want to scare her. I looked at her face intently as I waited for her reply, hoping for truth.

"Fine," she replied, weakly. She didn't sound too fine. She looked like she was about to faint, but the blush that crept upon her cheeks as I continued to gaze at her let me dismiss the overreactions that threatened to take over me.

I ran my hands into her damp hair as I asked her, "Was it as bad as you thought it would be?"

"No," she admitted finally. "I actually enjoyed it, reception and all."

I sighed happily. "Good," I said. I didn't doubt that she had a pleasant time; I'd just rather hear it from her, than hear it in Alice's mind, or see it on her face.

"I can't believe you invited Jake, Edward," she said, frowning.

"He deserved a choice, Bella," I replied, suddenly. I had desperately hoped this would not have come up. We had, until this point, quietly avoided the subject of Jacob Black, werewolf extraordinaire, and an extraordinarily annoying pain in my ass. And it takes a lot to make a vampire hurt.

I didn't want to make Bella any more worried about the wedding so I hadn't told her anything about inviting Jacob to the wedding, although I knew deep down she was glad I had.

"What do you mean, ‘a choice'," she demanded.

I continued to stroke her hair as I found the right words to explain why I had done what I did.

"As much as the d-he irritates me," I began, almost slipping, "I understood that even if you had gone the other way, and it was you and he getting married, I would want the choice to be there. I would want to be able to know that I could freely choose if I did or did not want to show up, be in the wings, if you will. For your sake," I added as an afterthought.

And it was all for her sake, was it not? Here I was, even in the events of doing something for someone else, being extremely selfish. Knowing that there was a very large, very obvious chance that Jacob Black would love to keep the small amount of pride he had left and escape-far, far from Bella, and the irrevocably bad decisions she had made that would alter the course of her eternity.

"You knew he wouldn't come," she asked, though I could hear her hiding another question that she pushed to the side.

I hesitated longer than usual on my answer. I didn't lie to Bella, but for the first time, I wondered if it would be better than the truth.

No, the truth is always worth a thousand times more than any lie.

"Yes," I finally answered, sighing.

"And that made you feel better about inviting him," she said slowly, trying to understand. "Because you knew he wouldn't show anyway."

"That didn't make me feel better, Bella," I said, my voice getting hard, despite my efforts to control them.

Even though she was right.

Even though part of me was lying.

The ugly, monstrous, jealous side, that didn't want Jacob Black within 1,000 feet of her at any given moment. The part of me that was completely and disgustingly irrational.

I explained the more rational argument. The one that I made up later, after I sent out the invitation then broke two trees and a rock at the sheer stupidity of it.

"I was...worried he would show and then do something desperate," I tried, softening my voice, "In a last vain attempt to get you to stay, but I didn't do it because I knew he wouldn't show, therefore inflating my already smug ideas of my gain and his loss."

That is why I did it, right? Because I thought he would do something desperate? I didn't know. It just felt...inhuman not to. Wrong.

"Oh."

We were silent for a while, and I continued to stroke my Bella's hair while she blew warm breaths onto my icy skin. I watched her tease my skin, as each breath elicited a patch of goosebumps in that particular swatch of skin.

She finally looked at me, and said, "What?"

"Are you sure you want to do this," I asked, uncertain of myself for the billionth time since meeting her.

"Do what," she asked, confused.

I hesitated, not knowing how she would take my next question.

"This," I stated as simply as I could, gesturing to us. "Be with me. Forever."

For a moment I let the doubt that clouded my mind show on my face, before I readjusted it into an unreadable expression. I shouldn't be so insecure.

She blinked, as I let the question seep in. I could see her thinking my question through, deciphering what it really meant, and I could see her giving me the reaction that I feared almost as much as rejection.

"Yes," she replied, her voice harder than I would have imagined her capable of. I didn't blame her, I was dampening the mood. How selfish could I be?

"Why did you say it like that," I asked, confirming my suspicions.

"Why did you even bother to ask," she shot back, annoyed.

"I wanted to know," I said. She was beautiful when she was bothered. "I didn't want you to feel like I was pushing you into something."

She sighed.

"Edward, how many times in this lifetime am I going to have to tell you that you don't push me into anything? I wanted this," she said, gesturing to us. "I want us. Forever. There's close to nothing that I've never been more sure of in my life."

"What about Charlie, and Renee, and everyone," I asked, grabbing for straws, in a last vain attempt to give her back everything I had taken from her.

"What about them," she asked. "They will be fine. Nothing is going to happen to them. They know I love them...I just want to be with you more," she finished.

I let go of her and slid out of the bed.

"Where are you going," she whispered, looking pouty.

I looked at her as I crossed the room.

"Nowhere, love," I replied, smiling.

I could hear her sit up as I unlatched the metal hinging on my south facing wall and pulled down the metal sheets that protected the glass wall. Her heart lurched as I lifted my hand and displayed a small portion of my stomach. The most absurd things got her going.

I needed to be near her. I crossed the room in two strides, turning out the light as I went. Moonlight flooded into the room, illuminating her milky skin, making my head spin.

I lay over the covers to keep her warm as she faced me, laying her head on my chest and conforming her body to fit my hard one.

"Can you please get under the covers," she asked me, a bit too innocently.

I complied, however, and shifted my body against hers, inhaling her scent. She put her arm around my waist and looked up at me. I looked back at her, searching her eyes for the emotions they so frequently displayed. This was the most adherent way to see what she was beginning to formulate in her mind, and it drove me crazy to not know the exact thoughts that crossed her brain. She didn't move. She didn't blink. I found it hard to believe she was even thinkinganymore.

She reached up and began to trace my face with her warm hand, and I did the same. I committed the already memorized contours to mind; her smooth forehead, her defined cheekbones, her small nose, her perfect, full lips. I soaked it all in, and reveled in her absolute beauty. She never saw herself for what she was worth. In the back of my mind, I knew she never would.

I looked at her, and before I knew it, her lips caught mine in a light embrace. I pulled away to look at her, making sure she was really here, and then caught hers again, in a gentle, synchronization. She crushed her body against mine, and my body burned with the pleasure that overtook it.

Her warmth to me was as close to human desire as I would get, but it was so much more. As a vampire, everything was so much more; human feelings and thoughts, amplified and a thousand times more urgent than they should be. I was so easily overcome with all that was Bella.

As I opened my mouth slightly to deepen the kiss, she slid her tongue out again, and swept across my bottom lip. I exhaled slowly, going agonizingly mad, and I could taste her breath on my tongue. God, she tasted like heaven.

And I was losing my mind.

Desire and temptation coursed through my veins as my hand found her hair and the other ran lightly down her arm, across her flat stomach to her tiny waist, then down her hips, stopping there. It burned my fingertips, but it was the most desirable burning I'd ever felt. She pulled her tongue back into her mouth, as all pretenses began to exit my body.

As much as I knew she needed air, I needed this more. I darted my tongue over her lips, hungrily seeking to taste the smell that was burning my nose, and my throat, making me want her even more, and swept it across there three times ending in the center of her bottom lip. She mimed what I did earlier, and pulled my tongue into her mouth.

I died.

My lips crashed urgently into her as our tongues danced, and all coherent thought escaped me finally. As she pulled away for much needed air, my kisses didn't stop. I wanted her all over me, inside of me; I wanted to envelop her completely. I shifted down, and began trailing kisses from her cheek, down her neck to the base of her throat, where I felt her pulse at its strongest and back up, creating a train of kisses that left me dizzier than I already was.

I could feel her breathing raggedly, and it didn't matter, because I was breathing just as heavy, save for the loud noises of breath escaping her throat. She grabbed lightly onto my hair, and tugged me back up to face her, and urgently sought out my lips with her own. I allowed her, because I wanted it just as bad as she did. And I wasn't afraid to get it anymore. I trusted us completely.

"Bella," I growled into her mouth, breathing hard. I was losing control, drifting into a sweet lull of passion.

I just wanted her, all around me.

She pressed her lips more firmly into my mouth and her body closer to mine. My arm shifted off her hip and traveled down her leg to her knee, then stopped at her calf. I kneaded the flesh there for a moment, savoring the feeling of the slight muscle, then grabbed her leg underneath, and pulled it over my hip, shifting my weight in the process. She ended up on top of me. And she was extremely hot.

I didn't realize this shift would place her directly on top of that area of my body, and I didn't know if I would really be able to handle it. She didn't give me time to think it through.

She abandoned my mouth, much to my chagrin; I growled lightly, and she began to kiss my neck. She flurried kisses to the hollow at my throat, and then back up, stopping only to dart her tongue out at the base where my ear connected to my neck.

I hissed, and she giggled lightly. She was killing me. I was trying so very hard to control myself and she was doing a very good job of encouraging the urge to rip off her clothing and ram myself inside her.

"Bella," I growled again, my voice tight.

"What," she whispered against my ear.

My ears are sensitive-she wasn't playing fair.

"You're killing me," I growled quietly, gripping her around her waist with one hand and running my hand down her side with the other.

"But you're already dead," she teased, lacing her fingers into my hair.

"There's death after death, you know," I said quietly, slightly breathless.

She craned her neck to look at my face, and I assumed I looked like I was trying very hard to control myself. Because I was.

I could see the reflection of my eyes in hers, and they were a smoldering, black ice. I didn't get that look in my eyes before I met Bella. It was one of unfiltered want, hunger and dangerous desire. For her.

"Is this too much for you, Edward?" she asked slyly, playing on the one weakness she knew she had power over at this moment.

"No," I said, looking at the ceiling, narrowing my eyes, trying to deny myself of the pleasure that was coursing through my veins.

She looked at me, raising an eyebrow, disbelieving, and I looked down at her and said quietly, "yes."

"Do you want to stop," she asked, frowning.

Usually, I was the one to pull away, disentangle himself and stop pushing the boundaries. I wanted nothing of the sort tonight. In fact, I wanted to stop discussing this, and continue where we left off, no matter how high and disassociated it made me feel.

"No," I sighed, catching her by surprise. "I just...you're making me want you."

"Don't you already," she asked, confused.

"Yes," I said slowly, trying to explain without crashing my lips against hers. "I can usually ignore your scent; it's always there, but it's easier to push it aside. But, you're...consuming me," I added, struggling for words. "It's so much. You're making me want to kill you."

"I don't care," she said.

"I do."

She was absurd.

"So then, control yourself," she said, finally breathing normally.

"I'm trying," I said, frustrated. "But, I think I might be the one to combust before this is over."

She replied by, for the third time, pressing her lips to mine.

Oh, God, I thought, groaning quietly.

"Be good, Edward," she said softly, murmuring into my mouth.

I responded with what I could only call a purr.