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After Him

Summary:
Renesmee is walking through the forest filled with grief, guilt and anger. "Think, remember, forget." she tells herself as she looks back on the desatsterous week before. A week that changed her life for ever. The week that her Jakey died. rated teen coz i dont know what going to happen next.


Notes:


1. The Falling leaves of Autumn

Rating 5/5   Word Count 547   Review this Chapter

I lie on the cold forest floor, the leaves brushing my face, hair, hands and heart as they fall. I breathe in the soft fresh scent of the autumn wind letting it clear my mind of the pain I feel.
In my minds eye I see his face. It is laughing, singing, smiling with joy as he hugs me. He lightly caresses my face before leaning down the three feet or so to kiss my lips tenderly.

But that will no longer be. that will never be, and it is all my fault. I open my deep brown eyes and stare at the golden canopy above me. the leaves drift down in spirals, like ballerinas, so carelessly it is criminal. Their bright golden colors wink at me through the shining sun beams and mingle with the miniature dust mites only visible with eyes as sighted as mine. Somewhere not far away I hear some sort of small animal, hurriedly collecting food supplies for the on coming winter months.
This place is almost too much to bear. so many memories of this exact spot run through my mind. the first time we kissed. the first time he said he loved me. Then I wanted to live my forever to the full, knowing he would always be there for me. now though tears stain my face. I am the only one left in my family that can cry. I take full advantage of that now, trying to cry my cares away. I had thought my life was perfect but now it is shattered.

I want to die. I would do anything to be with him, my Jacob.

I have no idea how long I have been lying here for. I must have slept for now the sun is low in the sky and the shadows are long. under any normal circumstances I would have been frightened, but not anymore. all feelings except pain loss guilt and sadness are lost. I am covered in leaves, like a quilt of a million colors. Gently I rise and shiver, it is cold now.

I walk through the woods not caring where I am going. Mom and Dad wont be looking for me. Not yet anyway. I and Jake aren’t due home for another day or so. I am glad of that. It means I can stay here, the place where I feel closest to him. It vaguely crosses my mind that Alice may have had a vision. I doubted it. Two half breeds and a werewolf? Ha no chance. I thought back to the last time I had seen my favorite aunt’s face. Now I look back, I realize it was drawn and worried. Maybe she had known. I didn’t think anything of it at the time. I was too exited. A month, just me and Jacob, going to visit my best friend. It seemed like a heaven vacation at the time. How could anything go wrong? But it did.
The trees are grey and dim in the rapidly fading light. Quickly loosing all their beauty to made way for the night ahead. it is now for the first time I am able to think properly about the week. Able to think and remember without the interruption of tears for no more will come.
Think, remember, forget.....