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WHAT IN THE NAME OF CHEESE

Summary:
fish head fish head yummy yummy fish head!! READ THIS STORY SINCE THE VOICES IN YOUR HEAD SAY SO!!!


Notes:


1. Chapter 1

Rating 5/5   Word Count 595   Review this Chapter

What in the name of Cheese!

Edward had smelt something burning. Curious he went to investigate. The seldom used microwave was beeping, so he did the only logical thing and opened it so it would SHUT UP!!

When he opened it he saw cheese melted on a saucer.

Just then he heard a high pitch scream. He turned around and saw Jacob screaming like a banshee.

When Jacob snapped out of it. He started chasing Edward screaming “CHEESE MOLESTER!!!! YOU MOLESTED MY CHEESE, YOU SICK POO HEAD!!! CHEESE MOLESTER” After Jacob was finished screaming he calmly asked “Can you open the peppers?” When Edward didn’t answer he said “what? It’s the least you can do after YOU MOLESTED MY CHEESE!!!!! AND TO THINK I WAS GOING TO TEACH YOUR DAUGHTER THE WONDERS OF FRIED CHEESE!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

After that comment Jacob starter opening pepper container. Only to find it was loose and splattering it all over the room!

To get revenge for the comment about him molesting cheese, when he had very high respect towards all things cheese. After thinking that thought he thought wow I sound a lot like Emmett does. But this thought lasted long enough that he could get his revenge!!

“PEPPER MOLESTER!!!!! YOU EVIL PEPPET MOLESTER!!!” After hearing this comment Jacob was very offended since he has high respect for peppers and fired back “CHEESE MOLESTER”

“PEPER MOLESTER”

“CHEESE MOLESTER”

“PEPPER MOLESTER”
“CHEESE MOLESTER”

Just then the family returned from hunting a still unknowing Edward and Jacob continued the fight.

“PEPPER MOLESTER”

“CHEESE MOLESTER”

“PEPPER MOLESTER”

Renesme turned to her mom and said “Mommy, why is daddy and Jake arguing?” Bella responded “I don’t know honey, I don’t know.”

The arguing continued.

“CHEESE MOLESTER”

“PEPPER MOLESTER”

“CHEESE MOLESTER”

Rosalie, annoyed at the argument left thinking they need to get off crack. Emmett quickly followed, scared for his life. Since everyone knows Edward has a high respect for cheese, and that Jacob loves peppers.

Esme knows how to stop the fight, except she isn’t allowed to use guns since, well, she isn’t at liberty to say. She knows she could have Carlisle do it since he knows how to use a gun. So Esme grab Carlisle to discuss the plan.

The arguing continued

“CHEESE MOLESTER”

“PEPPER MOLESTER”

“CHEESE MOLESTER”

“PEPPER MOLESTER”

The fight was also getting more violent

“STUPID CHEESE MOLESTER”

“ PEPPER MOLESTER MEANY HEAD!!!!!!!”

Jacob was highly offended by this comment he was not a meany head.

Edward was also offended he was not stupid.

Just then the door bell rang, it was the Cullen’s closest neighbors kids. They heard the fight going on and they thought the Cullen’s would have for gotten that it was not yet Halloween. So the kids ended up getting candy. Handed to them by Emmett who gave them candy that was loaded with sugar.

Jacob noticed and yelled “ I want candy!!!! Give me candy!!!!!!! Or I’ll tell my mommy on you” wanting to strike while Jacob was down Edward said “your moms dead!!!” “She is?” every one nodded. Then Jacob broke into tears and said “It’s all your fault stupid cheese molester; It’s all your fault that my mommy died!!!!”

The fighting then continued.

“PEPPER MOLESTER!”

“CHEESE MOLESTER!”

“PEPPER MOLESTER!”

Just then BANG!!!! Carlisle came in holding Esme’s 44 magnum. The fighting stopped and for once all was quiet in the Cullen home.