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Inner Workings of the Salad Bowl

Summary:
Believe me. The title will make sense once you read this. What if Jacob didn't break the rules? Jacob never went to Bella's room that night and Bella never had the dream. She has no idea that Jacob is a werewolf. Set a few days after Jacob practically tells her that they can't be friends.


Notes:


1. Bella. Going. Going. Gone.

Rating 4.5/5   Word Count 981   Review this Chapter

“Bella,” Charlie said cautiously between his bites of salad. He swallowed, pushed his plate away and cleared his throat. “Bella,” he started again.

“Yes?” I asked halfheartedly. I played with a tomato until my fork pierced it. I felt like the tomato. Played with until it just ripped in half.

“We need to talk about your…less then enthusiastic behavior the last few days. I know that you are depressed honey, but-”

“But what? Did your true love leave you in Forks all alone, taking your heart with them?” I said before I could think.

“Yes. In fact she did. She even took my daughter along with her,” Charlie said angry. I realized what I had said I quickly threw out apologies.

“I’m sorry dad! I really am, but-”

“But what? You have to move on! I did!”

“But it’s not only him! I have had my heart broken twice in the same year! I have the right to be depressed! If your going to blame anyone, blame them!” I screamed. I buried my head in my hands and let the tears flow. I would never had told Charlie that ever before, but I was an unstable wreck. I half expected Charlie to send me off to an insane asylum immediately.

“Bella…I would never have guessed that you were in so much pain but…” Charlie looked down at his plate and picked up a tomato. “I just want my daughter back,” he said quietly. He dropped the tomato and it rolled back onto the plate. It settled between two green pieces of lettuce.

“Me, too,” I whispered. If I could of gone back to my happy old self I would have, but I was broken way beyond repaired due to the two men that made me happy.

“Bella, can you at least try to be more social? Or even just start a conversation once and a while? The faster you try to get over this, the faster you will,” he said with little hope. He was right to be less then hopeful. I still woke up screaming at the top of my lungs every night. The holes in my chest were still there. I didn’t have any doubt that I would grow up and die alone. But I couldn’t tell Charlie that.

“I’ll try,” I tried to say heartedly. I didn’t fool myself and I doubted that I fooled Charlie. But he just nodded and continued to eat his salad. I looked down at my plate. The tomato was leaking out juice and it looked far from edible. I placed a piece of lettuce over it and to ensure that it wouldn’t peak from under it’s cover, I placed a piece of cucumber on top. I sighed sadly and stood up, pushing my chair back. “I’m pretty tired. I think that I’m going to go to bed,” I said. I tried to smile, but I couldn’t find the strength. Instead I picked up my plate and scooped the leftover salad into the trashcan. I didn’t want to see it again. I said goodnight to Charlie and walked up the stairs slowly, trying to waste time. I didn’t want to face the nightmares again. I didn’t want to run through the forest, searching. Searching for something, only to realize that there was nothing. Nothing, nothing, nothing. Because I was nothing. I was a tomato stabbed by a fork to many times. I was an empty shell. I was nothing else.

After brushing my teeth for five minutes I dragged my feet into my room to get into my pajamas. Ten minutes later I laid down in my bed and pulled the covers up to my chin then over my head. I muffled my sobs with my pillow, hoping that Charlie wouldn’t hear them. I fell asleep like that.

I sprang up, screaming very loudly. I became lightheaded and quickly pulled the thick covered off my head. I gasped in the air greedily. After my heart rate calmed down, I fell backwards exhausted. I turned my head slowly and took a look at my alarm clock. Four thirty AM. Great. I then closed my eyes and tried to get back to sleep. But my mind wouldn’t let me. It kept on replaying my nightmare over and over again in my head. This one was different. Instead of nothing staring back at me, Jacob was. No matter how hard I tried to reach him, he kept on running from me until he disappeared entirely. There was nothing for a little while until unnaturally red hair flashed in front of me. That’s when the screaming started.

The dream only made me remember the monster that was after me. I wondered if she knew that Edward didn’t love me anymore. That my death would mean nothing to him. That thought alone made me shudder. I couldn’t help remembering that a year before, my life was all that mattered to Edward. Funny how things can change so quickly. Not even seven months later his family and all reminders of them left with only a minute’s notice. I wondered what I did wrong.

Was I such a bad girlfriend that Edward wanted nothing to do with me anymore? Was I selfish? Or was it the obvious reason? I was human and he was a gorgeous, perfect vampire. I was in terms, his food. Why would someone love their food? I sure didn’t. I stabbed my tomato to death. And in a sense, so did he. I was dead because of him. And after all the healing that I went through, I died again because I let myself get attached. I should never of let myself get so close to Jacob. But I did and now look at me. I was dead inside. And nobody, just nobody, could revive me.

Bella. Going. Going. Gone.