Alternative fight scene for Breaking Dawn
The fight scene left me wanting and needing more. All of that build up, and nothing to really show for it. This is my version of the events.
***I used exerpts from the book (pages 730 and 732) in order to let you know where my thoughts fit into the original story.
2. Chapter 2
Rating 5/5 Word Count 2364 Review this Chapter
Everyone in the field stood frozen. A look of shock spread across the faces of many, me included. What was she thinking? Why would Alice ever even consider bringing a human near here!?I was frantic. I don't know if I can control it!
I knew that I could handle my thirst around Jacob, Renesmee, and Charlie. These were people I had emotional links to. I had convinced myself that this was why I could push the need away. He was a complete stranger. I waited. My breathing slowed. I was prepared to stop breathing if it were too much to handle. I anticipated the familiar burn in my throat and the overwhelming need to attack. Edward must have been worried about this as well. He placed his arm firmly around my waist. I looked up only to see that he was still smiling.
The wind blew into my face. His scent hit my nostrils with force. My muscles tightened in preparation to stop myself. I breathed in the strange scent for a few more moments, but felt only a slight urge to drink. My instincts were not forcing me to pounce upon him. He smelled...inviting, yet repulsive. What in the world was going on?
Edward spoke to Alice with an unusual smile upon his face. I had looked at him so often, but this smile was one I had never seen. It wasn't really a smile of excitement or elation. It was more a smile of ....anticipation? "Glad that you decided to join us Alice. Won't you introduce your friends?"
Alice, Jasper, and their three new companions moved quickly across the distance until they stood next to our family.
"Of course, I am sure you have heard about Zarafina and Senna's companion Kachiri," she motioned to the Amazon. "This is Huilen," she continued pointing to the olive-toned female. Next she placed her hands upon the human. "And this, is Nahuel."
Emmett elbowed Jasper playfully, "I was beginning to think you were gonna miss all of the fun!"
Edward turned to face the Volturi. His features became stern as he spoke, "Aro, you said before that if there were a chance that we could be absolutely positive about Renesmee's future then you would leave us alone. Does that offer still stand?"
"No," Aro answered abruptly.
Renata cringed and took a pronounced step back. She hid behind Aro's body, but her fingers still did not leave him. I looked at her with speculation. How was her shield different from mine? Obviously she could not project like I could. Why would she need to touch Aro if that were the case? It also occured to me that she did not protect his mind either. Edward could read his thoughts even when she was present. Was it purely a physical shield? Hmmm...
"Aro please let my friend Huilen explain!" Alice pleaded. She looked quickly from Aro to Hulien. "Hulien, please, let him touch you. It's all you have to do. He will see what life, or lack there of, has presented to you and your nephew."
Huilen nodded and took one cautious step forward. She held out her hand to Aro. He laid his fingers softly upon her palm as his eyes entered a blank stare. It seemed like centuries had passed before he released her.
"My, that is absolutely fascinating," his eyes glanced from Nahuel to Renesmee. A reflexive hiss escaped my throat. "This will require another moment of discussion. Brothers we must deliberate once again."
Caius glared at the newcomer and walked hastily to Aro's side.
Marcus did not seem to have the same vigor as his brothers. He no longer looked bored. He seemed almost hesitant. His eyes darted to Chelsea's motionless figure and then to me. He seemed to be contemplating something very, very important. His face looked apprehensive. He went to stand with his brothers. They spoke so quietly that not even our expert hearing could make out the words.
I leaned up to Edward's ear and whispered almost silently, "What is going on?!"
He glanced quickly at Caius, Marcus, and Aro before replying, "We have been wondering if Renesmee is the only one of her kind, right?" I nodded. He looked to Nahuel and spoke more quietly. "It seems Alice has found our answer."
My eyes widened with sudden understanding. He is a half-breed too. This was why Alice and Jasper had left us. She could not speak of it without fear of Aro finding out.
What remained of the Volturi guard had gathered behind their leaders. The fighting had come to a complete halt. I wondered if it was because Chelsea was disabled, or becuase of an unspoken order from their leader.
A vaguely familiar face came into view. A strikingly beautiful woman with dark, glossy hair stepped out from the crowd. She leaned down to comfort Jane. Where did I know this woman from? I knew I had met her, but who was she?
A moment later she stood again. Her eyes glanced lazily across our group. When she looked to Renesmee and Nahuel they both stopped to stare. Her body, though almost completely still, seemed to sway ever-so slightly. Renesmee climbed off of Jacob's back, and Nahuel took a step forward.
Alice raised one eyebrows and looked at the woman. She spoke with a hint of forewarning, "I definitely would not do that if I were you...."
It hit me like a brick wall. Heidi! I recognized her from when I went to Volterra. I was there to stop Edward from his suicide mission. She had brought all those innocent people into the main hall for "dinner".
What was her power? I couldn't think. It had something to do with humans. What was it...? My mind raced, but found nothing but blank thoughts. How could I have forgotten about her?!
She smiled defiantly at Alice and continued in her little dance. Renesmee took one step forward, staring longingly at her, and then another.
"Renesmee stay where you are!" I growled. She continued as if I hadn't said a word.
I suddenly remembered what it was. She could "lure" humans. She could take them anywhere she wanted them to go.
Renesmee and Nahuel each took another step forward. Jacob matched Renesmee step for step. He whined pleadingly as his mouth tugged her pants. He looked over to me unsure of what was happening. My eyes darted to Heidi's swaying figure and I clenched my jaw. Anger spread across my face. He looked to Heidi and then to me. He gave a little nod to let me know he understood.
Heidi spoke, "Come to me little ones. Let me show you somethi....AHHHHH!"
Jacob had leapt from Renesmee's side and now stood with his paws upon Heidi's chest. He spit a white chunk from his mouth, and darted back in front of Renesmee. His stance was defensive. A bone chilling growl pulsed in his throat.
Both Renesmee and Nahuel shook their heads quickly, like waking up from a dream. Nahuel stumbled back to Huilen's side. Renesmee dashed into Edward's ready arms. Heidi raised her hand to her mouth. Half of her lower jaw was missing. There was nothing but empty, black space behind it. She hissed and crouched, ready to pounce.
"Heidi! Enough!" Aro spoke. He was obviously irritated with the disruption.
Heidi glared at Jacob with absolute malice as she stood.
"Told ya so!" Alice chimed.
Emmett couldn't help himself, "Bet it'll be hard to seduce people looking like a messed up pumpkin!" he laughed.
Heidi turned as if she were about to attack. Emmett smiled, hoping for a reaction. She returned her hand to her mouth and turned away.
Once again we stood waiting. It seemed like centuries since the three had started their exchange. As badly as I wanted her in my arms, I let Edward continue to hold our daughter. I needed to be prepared, just in case. My eyes continually scanned the group that stood in front of us. I kept my shield up around Edward, Renesmee, Jacob, and I. I did not want to use more energy than necessary during this pause in fighting. I was still unsure of how my shield worked. I'd hate to run out of energy when it was needed most.
Jasper continually shifted from side to side. He was uneasy. Edward sat Renesmee onto Jacob's back as he tightened his jaw. His stance suddenly became defensive. I heard Caius say something in a menacing tone as Marcus leapt away from their circle.
"ENOUGH!" Marcus spoke. Chagrin oozed from his voice as he continued, "I will no longer be a pawn for the two of you! Your need for power is insatiable. These people have done no wrong. I love you both dearly, but I will not stand for this nonsense any longer!"
"Marcus, please be calm." Aro responed in an aggitated tone. "Poor Caius was simply trying to make a point. I must say that I agree. What we do is for the good of our kind as a whole. There are always some minor casualties. What is but a few vampires compared to our existence? Please calm yourself and reconsider. We are brothers in this world Marcus, the nightly patrons of the arts. We are Gods amongst the people in Volterra. You mean to turn your back on your life, on our lives, because of these strange half-breeds? It is absolutely necessary to study these creatures before we release them. The threat they hold is too great. We have to understand them first."
Marcus looked directly at me and continued, "Bella, thank you for your gift. Thank you for stopping Chelsea. I can finally think for myself again."
He turned to face his brothers. "Aro and Caius, I love you both dearly. How could I not after so many centuries? But, your minds have become distorted. You are not the friends I remember so fondly anymore. You will not take these innocent people from their homes simply to satisfy your needs for weapons and power!"
"I do not think you understand the challenge you are placing dear one!" Caius hissed. "WE are the Volturri! With or without you we will rule! Our law is definite. Do not make us come for you too."
Marcus chuckled under his breath. "Do not worry yourself, dear Caius. I have been held captive for too long and you forget, I KNOW YOU BOTH WELL. I can feel your presence no matter where you are! I will sense you from all ends of the earth. I do not want to fight you dear brothers, but if you come near Renesmee, Nahuel, or their families again you will be met with great resistance."
A cheer erupted from our alliance. We were all ecstatic for Marcus's revelation, minus one. Amun lowered his head, took Kebi by the shoulder, and disappeared into the forest.
The Volturri witnesses stood in complete shock. None left the spot where they stood. Quiet murmurs swept across the field.
Carlisle stepped forward and spoke, "Aro, please be reasonable. I am your friend. I have been for many centuries. I beg you, do not continue this. We have no reason to harm you if you would simply leave us to our lives. You are outnumbered without Chelsea." He glanced over his shoulder to the Volturri witnesses. "Look at how many deserted you once her influence was broken. The witnesses alone will damn you if you continue." He took a deep breath before going on. "Also, do not forget our most important weapon. Bella has two of your most honored guard members trapped by their own ability. You have seen it. I believe she can do much more."
This was a lie. I have never pushed myself farther in my entire life. I was unsure if I could handle one more hostage, let alone the entire Volturri guard!
Aro and Caius looked at each other in amazement. Surely this was the first time they had ever considered retreating. Caius whispered something harsh into Aro's ear.
Aro shook his head, "We will not win this."
After a moment he spoke to Marcus again, "Then we will leave. Please return the guard members your Bella has trapped."
Marcus looked at me for a response, and I answered, "I will release them, but, if they use their powers again before leaving I can guarantee you will regret it."
Better to follow Carlisle's lead at this point I guessed. They, nor I, had any idea of what I was capable of.
"Alice?" I looked at her knowing she would understand my question, will it be okay?
"It will be fine Bella," she answered coolly.
I closed my eyes and found my center. I pulled with all my strength. It was like pulling on a stray piece of elastic. It was not difficult to pull, but it was incredibly hard to break. When it released I gasped. I felt myself become whole again.
Chelsea sat up. She looked dazed.
Jane stood immediately. She still had the same crazed look in her eye. She was irate.
I pulled myself in and exhaled as I immediately replaced my shield around our allies. Everyone was so close to one another that I didn't have to stretch far. It was becoming easier to pull the shield tightly. Jane's eyes scanned our group. My confidence in the shield was absolute. Why did she think she could still attack us? I guess fury sometimes overwhelms common sense.
I glanced around me. Everyone seemed to be accounted for, except...hmmm. Jacob stood next to me with Renesmee, Edward just on the other side. Everyone was there, all of the Cullens, the Denali Clan, the Amazons, the Egyptians, less Amun and Kebi, the Irish Coven, and the nomads. Who was missing?
Sam let out a desperate howl. Oh God!
He had walked away to keep an eye on Chelsea while she made her way back to Aro and Caius.
Zarafina let out a wild hiss.
It was instinct now. I threw my shield over Jane once again. She began that wretched screaming all over. Sam stood and ran to our group.
Zarafina turned to face me. Her eyes widened and her brow dropped in confusion.
"Get her and leave before I kill her!" I growled. I did not want to give them any more reason to stay and fight. Right now everyone was okay, but if this continued....
"Drop your shield and we will go," Aro replied.
"NO! I will drop my shield after you are gone. Only then." I responded with absolute resolve.
"Felix," Aro breathed coarsely, "Gather Jane and the rest. Let us be gone."