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Alternative fight scene for Breaking Dawn

The fight scene left me wanting and needing more. All of that build up, and nothing to really show for it. This is my version of the events.

***I used exerpts from the book (pages 730 and 732) in order to let you know where my thoughts fit into the original story.

3. Chapter 3

Rating 0/5   Word Count 1996   Review this Chapter

I looked around to be sure our allies were firmly covered beneath the shield. I did not want to let my guard down for fear of another "Sam" incident. Marcus came towards our group and stood beside Carlisle. Aro looked at Marcus with great sadness. Their coven had remained intact for so long. It had to be a great loss for him. I was still unsure if the loss he felt was for losing his friend, or because he had just lost yet another item from his collection. Caius stood for a long moment glaring at Carlisle. Carlisle simply responded with a look of remorse. His refinement never ceased to amaze me. The wives, Sulpicia and Athenodora, came from the back of the guard to stand with their husbands. I wonder why they did not join the fight...

Aro took Caius by the shoulder and they turned away. The majority of the guard followed them away from the field. Felix walked to the place where Jane laid screaming and writhing. He stared at me with absolute loathing as he swept her from the ground. Scorn crept through his voice as he spoke, "Do not think this will be the end." He turned and quickly ran to Caius's side.

Chelsea ran quickly to catch up with him. She seemed terrified with the thought of turning her back to walk away from us. Edward grinned. Heidi stood very still for a moment glaring intensely at Jacob before retreating as well.

Emmett reached down and patted Jacob on the head. "Good dog!" he chucked. Jacob responded in his hacking laugh.

Marcus spoke. "I am so sorry for all of this. Carlisle, I hope you understand that I have not been myself for the last few centuries. When my wife Didyme died I lost all hope for our existence. I had nothing to stand for. That combined with Chelsea's unusual ability left me hollow and empty." He looked around at our peculiar group. "You have all shown me that our species can be so much more than monsters."

Carlisle smiled warmly. "Of course we understand. We are all so very thankful that you took a stand in our favor. We can never repay you. I know you must be feeling great loss for your brothers, but please know that you have a home here if needed."

I felt a snap as Jane's shield released. She was too far away now. WE DID IT! The Volturri had left! I grabbed Edward and forcefully planted my lips to his. He kissed me back with such force that it nearly knocked me over. This moment was pure bliss. We stood entangled in each other's arms. Lust plunged through me. I never wanted to let him go again. I would stay here wrapped in his being forever. "I love you so much."

His voice was sweet and intense. "My Bella, I love you too. You were absolutely amazing tonight."

I took a moment to look at our companions. Everyone was celebrating. Tanya, Eleazar, Carmen, and the Amazons stood in a group recapping the events that had just taken place. Esme, Carlisle, Siobhan, Liam, Marcus, and Maggie stood debating what the reaction was going to be amongst the vampire community.

Garrett walked over to Kate. He wrapped her up in his arms and spun her in a circle. He kissed her passionately. "I told you woman, if we lived through this you were never going to be able to get rid of me! OUCH!"

"Oops, sorry," she replied, embarrassed. "I haven't quite mastered my talent when I'm... preoccupied."

"We're definitely going to have to practice." He chuckled.

Jacob phased back to his human form. The rest of the wolves remained unchanged. I guessed it was probably easier for them to recount what had happened through their joint minds. Jake looked at Rosalie, who stood wrapped in Emmett's embrace, and spoke. "Thanks for saving me back there. That Democrti guy, or... whatever his name was, almost took me out. You fight pretty good for a blonde."

"Don't worry about it dog," she replied, "I couldn't have him killing the family pet now could I?" As much as she would hate to admit it, Rose let a small smile escape her perfect lips.

Jacob laughed as he picked Renesmee and gave her a big, loving hug.

"It's late. Lets head back to the house, shall we?" Carlisle motioned across the field.

I took Edward's hand, but apparently that was not enough for him. He swept his hands beneath my legs and arms and carried me. I wrapped my arms around him and buried my face against his neck. I breathed his scent in over and over again. Though I could not sleep I felt completely exhausted. Everything in my body felt as if it weighed a thousand pounds suddenly. I exhaled, and nestled myself even closer to him. It was so comforting being wrapped in his arms again. I glanced up to see Jacob, who was carrying a sleeping Renesmee in his arms, running next to us. We reached the river and jumped carelessly across. When we reached the other side he sat me down. We walked hand in hand toward the house. I was ready to sprint to our home, to be alone with my husband and daughter, but the urge to understand and discuss everything trumped this.

We were the last ones to arrive. Many of the others had already seated themselves around Esme's enormous table. The Amazons, the Romanians, and the Nomads stood around the table. It was natural for the Cullens and the Denali clan to feel the urge to sit. The human charade was like second nature to them. Jacob went to stand along the back wall, next to Leah, Seth, and Embry.

"Jake, where are Sam and the other wolves?" I asked, with a bit of worry in my tone.

"Don't worry yourself Bells, they went back to keep an eye on the Rez. Sam was just worried about making sure there were no stragglers." He replied simply. "Plus, Quil needed his Claire fix."

"Was he upset with me? You know, for the whole Jane thing?"

"Nah, not a bit. He felt stupid for walking away on his own."

"Thank goodness. Really though, I thought I had everyone covered. I'll have to be more careful next time..." I blushed with embarrassment and regret.

"BELLA! Do not apologize for anything!" Edward spoke, his tone was vexed. "You saved us all! If it were not for you, love, we would not all be standing here having this discussion!"

The quiet room erupted with cheers and phrases like "he's absolutely right!" and "you were amazing". I blushed again. I was uncomfortable having this much attention directed at me. I did feel pretty happy about the outcome though.

I looked around the room. Joy seized me and shoved the awkwardness aside. They were ALL here. We had gotten out of our dire situation without losing anyone. Edward wrapped his arms around my waist and spoke softly, "You saved our lives Bella."

"Speaking of which, how did you do it? I saw the effect you had on Jane and Chelsea," Carlisle spoke with great interest, "What happened? What did you do? Have you also gained an ability like Jane's and Zarafina's?"

I bit my lip. This was going to be hard to explain. "Well, when I saw Jane attack Edward I just got so mad. I had been trying to get my shield back up, but there was just so much going on, I... I just couldn't. I became furious when Edward started screaming. All I wanted to do was protect him, and stop the attack. I just kind of threw my shield. That's the only way I can think of to explain it. It... it's like...exhaling after holding your breath for a very long time. Only, when you try to breathe in again...you can't. It was really uncomfortable. Then, when I covered our group again it was like my chest was imploding. I'm not sure I could have done more than I did. I was stretching too far."

"Remarkable," was the only thing Carlisle said in response.

Marcus was sitting beside Carlisle. He sat looking down at his hands folded on the table. He seemed somber. He looked at me for a moment, and then continued looking at his hands.

Alice shook her head. I had seen this look on her face before. She was entranced in a vision. She came to, and a smirk crossed her face.

"Zarafina," she spoke, "I believe you have a question for Bella, right?"

"I'll never get used to that Alice," Zarafina responded. "But yes, I do have a question for you Bella. When you released Jane and she attacked the wolf, I blinded her. I could not have missed. I have never missed a target. I am wondering... did you block her as well? I hit her with my attack I am sure, but a moment later, I felt nothing. Like when you block my attacks. I was wondering if your power is truly that much stronger than mine."

"Umm, yeah, I hit her," I responded, "but I never felt your attack bounce. I've gotten a feel for you, with the practice and everything. I mean, I guess I could have just missed it, but..."

Edward's phone rang in that instant. He looked around the room, confused. Everyone who could be calling was already here. Hesitantly he answered the phone.


I recognized the voice on the other end the moment I heard the first syllable. I hissed as Aro's voice rang once again through the air.

"Edward, I am so sorry to interrupt your festivities, but I have run into a problem."

"There is nothing for us to speak about Aro." Edward said, trembling with anger.

"Oh, yes my dear one, there is. You see, your Bella has not released Jane from her shield. Her screaming has thankfully calmed somewhat, but she cannot see anything. As you can imagine I would hate to have to return at such a tense time, but our agreement was that she would be released when we were gone. We have fulfilled our end of the bargain, now please be so kind to ask Bella to fulfill hers."

"She is out of Bella's range Aro," Edward replied callously. "Bella felt her shield release before we left the field. If you do not believe me then touch Jane again yourself, I am sure you will see that Bella has let her go."

"Jane, come!" Aro called over the phone. After a few moments of silence he spoke again. "Fine, our conversation is over then Edward. Give Bella my regards."

Zarafina and Alice stared at each other for a moment. Zarafina looked confused, but Alice just smiled to herself. She knew something...

"Alice," I asked sweetly, "what is it you're not telling us?"

"Oh, just that you and Zarafina make a great team," she replied coyly.

I looked at Edward, hoping that he might be able to help me make more sense of things. He was smiling at me. He looked exuberant as he glanced to Alice and spoke, "You're sure of this Alice?"

"I saw Aro and Caius discussing it on their way back to Volterra."

"Would someone please tell me what you're talking about," I asked impatiently.

"Well, it seems that you did not miss your target," Edward said to Zarafina.

"Bella, it seems as if your shield hit Jane just moments after Zarafina blinded her. Zarafina's power was trapped inside your shield. Even after Zarafina quit attacking, her power just bounced around inside Jane's head. Now nobody really understands why, but after you released your shield Jane remained blinded."

I looked at Edward and Zarafina in amazement. Was I really that powerful?

"Bella," Carlisle spoke, "why don't you have a seat. I think we should all talk about what happened tonight. It seems there is much to discuss."