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The Realistic Version Of Breaking Dawn

Summary:
In this short little version of BD, the characters followed logic and gained some well-needed insight, and of course, things did not turn out the same... Bella/Edward, Oneshot


Notes:


1. Epiphany

Rating 4/5   Word Count 2047   Review this Chapter

Bella's POV

I was burning. Like the flames of Hell themselves were torturing me. I suppose I should be happy because I have been begging Edward for this to happen since forever. But I felt nothing but the pain. I didn't think about how beautiful I was going to become, how much easier it will be for Edward to be with me, or how much more powerful I will be.

Nothing, but the awareness of a poison-coated needle sticking into every one of my nerves, everywhere. Going on and on... and on... The touch of Edward's hand on mine brought no comfort, it was just too overwhelming.

Three days later

The pain had slowly receded until I felt like the healthiest person ever. I rose from the bed in a flash and looked around, my eyes were able to discern every little dust particle, every small crack in the floor that I once thought was perfectly smooth. Edward stood beside me, eyeing me with apprehensiveness.

"Bella..." Suddenly, he flung his arms around me and gave me what used to be a rib-cracking hug. I hugged back as hard as I could, satisfied that Edward's frustrating self-control would never have to be a problem again.

When we broke apart, I hesitated, not sure what to do next. As usual, Edward was the on to start talking.

"Oh Bella, I love you."

Yes I know Edward... words start to lose their meaning once you repeat them too often.

"You're utterly stunning Bella."

Well that's why I became a vampire.

"I would have never thought that I'd love you anymore than I used to, but I do."

He loves me more now. Did my beauty affect him that much?

He crushed his lips to mine in a movement that I no longer consider lightning fast. He did not hold back now, and neither did I. It felt like we were equals, and we were.

Something wasn't right.

There was neither thrill nor excitement coming from his kisses, like there was supposed to be, and the fact that my heart was not longer beating only emphasized that.

He put one hand on each side of my face, and his teeth grazed my lower lip. Something about the way we kissed, maybe the lack of tension, just seemed so... normal. It felt boring, like how I always imagined kissing a human when I was one myself.

I brushed that aside, and held his face away from mine and took a good look. He was still beautiful, but I started noticing the little flaws he had. Like how one side of his lips stretched out a tad further than the other side. How his eyebrows were not perfectly symmetrical. These little details bothered me. The perfect impression I had of Edward when I have human was tainted.

I inspected his eyes, there was a touch of disappointment in them. Did the vampire me not meet up to his expectations?

"Well, you must be thirsty, let's go hunting." He said suddenly, taking my hand and breaking off my train of thoughts. I gasped as we both leaped out of the window in a graceful arc.

Edward's POV

We darted through the trees, the wind whistling in our ears. I was glad that Bella could finally appreciate this swiftness. I turned my head to watch her run. She was so lovely, yet I was strangely reminded of Rosalie, or Alice, or Esme, they all had the same elegance and beauty.

She looked at me and smiled, exhilarated by the speed at which we ran. I forced myself to smile back, while trying to smother the shock of seeing her as a vampire. Somehow, she seemed too... familiar. She was beautiful, she was smart, just like anyone of our kind. She now smells like us too, no more of that mouth-watering scent I was addicted to.

No, I must not think like that. Bella is my wife, my soul mate, the reason of my existence.

Bella's POV

My newborn thirst would not be smothered; the constant ache in my throat had barely diminished at all since my transformation, no matter how many times I hunted. It was all I could think about. Edward had tried to distract me from the thirst many times, but I pushed him away and ran off to find myself some bears. I felt a small twinge of guilt at the look on his face when I snatched my hand away from his, but it never lasted long.

"Bella?"

"Yes? Oh don't worry, I'm pretty sane right now, but I might need to go hunt again in five minutes."

Edward took my face in his hands, and stared into my eyes, like he was trying to force himself into seeing something, I wanted to turn away.

"I missed you."

"I'm sorry, I can't help it, I never expected the pain of the thirst."

"I understand."

"Thanks." I said, looking down at the floor.

He gazed at me, an unknown emotion was trying to break through the composure of his face, a tiny frown appeared on the corner of his lips, he forced it out of sight, "I love you Bella."

"Love you too."

And that was the eighth time we have had that same conversation.

Edward's POV

Bella was become more and more distant from me. She seems to hate being a vampire. I heard her mutilating a stone hill one day while cursing about the thirst and how she cannot see any of her old friends... including Jacob...especially Jacob.

My attempts at helping did nothing whatsoever. She would whine and glare at me whenever I tried.

I sighed. I was angry at Bella for bringing this upon me. I never wanted her to become a vampire, yet she had begged me to do so. Ever since she was turned, everything felt wrong. The protectiveness, the fascination, the adoration, and the thrill of her blood that used to fill me when I saw her were fading.

She would no longer listen to me, I couldn't stop her the day she sneaked out to find Jacob while he was in the woods, she was stronger than me.

She wasn't capable of facing him in the end. When she returned, her face was full of bitter anger. My insides were suddenly drenched in confusion, over what she used to mean to me, and how much I just want to stay out of her sight now.

Doesn't she still love me?

Bella's POV

Four months later.

My instincts were more manageable now, and I can easily think clearly without giving in to the thirst. I eagerly took advantage of this search through my human memories for all the days I have spent with Edward. They were full of wonder, and mysteries. I used to ponder for hours while staring at him, about what it felt like to be a vampire, to have unlimited time, and incomparable strength. I used to marvel at his perfection, and felt blessed that I got to kiss such a perfect face, with the kind of grace that I did not possess.

I do not think that way anymore. I know exactly how it feels to be an immortal vampire, and I know that being good-looking is no accomplishment. Somehow, my vampire brain is making me see clearly. Edward never truly talked to me, we have never discussed his interests, nor about mine, only the mysteries of the supernatural. Oh, and also about how much I meant to him, which I am starting to doubt. I was just as fascinating to him as he was to me. He had thought my mind would be something revolutionary, just because he could not read it.

Oh Edward, I am sorry, but you were so wrong, I was but an ordinary human, no better than the others, the ones who you look down upon...

Edward's POV

Jasper demanded why Bella was feeling so depressed and regretful. I could not answer, I did not want to. I wanted to make my Bella happy, just like I used to.

Does she regret marrying me? I can't imagine why. Marrying her was possibly the most meaningful and worthwhile action I have ever done. To be with someone was a thousand times better than being alone.

Although with Bella acting so cold, it was hard to appreciate it. It must be the newborn phase, she's just taking it harder than the rest of us, that must be it.

"Edward, do you still love me?"

"What? Why on Earth would I not?"

"Edward," She looked at me with pleading eyes, "do you really?"

I could only stare back as a dreaded feeling filled me.

"Listen... I can't let this go on. What's between us is so different now. I'm not a human anymore, and you can deny it all you want, but the fact is that me being a vampire changed the us." Her eyes looked like they would be filled with tears if she was still a human.

"You want to leave?" I asked quietly, my eyes started to turn glassy, I wonder if she has any idea how much this reminds me of the time I left her. Perhaps it is the same? Perhaps she is lying about not loving me, I can convince her to stay...

"Yes," and as if she read my mind, she continued, "I'm not lying Edward, there would be no reason for me to leave if I really believed we can have a future together, and I don't."

I stared in shock, my lips barely moving as I spoke, "Why can't we hold on to this a bit longer? You're still a newborn, it's bound to pass soon. Please, you're the best thing that has ever crossed my path, and I know that you always will be."

She lowered her head mournfully, "No, we weren't meant to be together. I'm not a crazed newborn anymore. I wish you can see the truth. We were intrigued by each other, and starving for someone to love, it was an infatuation. Being with you made me very happy, at first, but we would not last in the years to come."

"I would never force you to do anything, Bella. If you really want to go... I know, I'm not good enough for you."

"Stop saying that!" she suddenly raised her voice, "We are equals, we always were, I can see that now, but that doesn't help anything. You're good enough for me, or even too good, but you're not the right one. Inequality would not change what's between us, but there was nothing, Edward. Nothing."

I braced myself and looked into her eyes, they were full of desperation and sadness. "Bella..." I breathed, the word that used to mean my life, now meant this girl standing before me, trying to destroy it.

"It's better for both of us if I left. It's the right thing to do, I know it. I'm very sorry this happened so quickly, but I can't take it anymore."

She looked so guilty, staring at me with those wide red eyes.

I bowed my head in defeat and despair, "Alright, I understand."

She fingers touched my shoulder, and she gently placed her wedding band on my desk.

And that was when the meteor that blinded me sank into the horizon, leaving me in the dark night once again, with only a few flickering stars to light my way.

Two months later

She was right, we were never soul mates, she captured my attention like a brand-new toy, and I seemed like a miracle to her. It was an infatuation. I was brought back to reality now that Bella is gone. I would never have stayed with her forever. One day, I would know her well enough to not have to wonder what she is thinking, and on that day, I would lose all interest in that hidden mind.

We never thought of each other as equals before, we each felt like the other was a god, Bella realised it first.

It was a good thing that she left, I told myself, perhaps one day, I would find someone who would love me whether I was a vampire or not. I would wait, I'm not worried, and anyhow, other vampires have waited for thousands of years for their soul mate, I think I could manage that.

And so could Bella.