Utube With The Volturi
Well, it's what it says. Bella is a vampire, Caius is the director, and Jane is the camera woman. Rated teen for swearing.
Hey! There really isn't much to say, I said it in the summary! Hope you like it!
1. Videos Galore
Rating 5/5 Word Count 765 Review this Chapter
Bella: Bells, Bells, Swan-like Bells (repeated)
Carlisle: Carlisle! (repeated after two Swan-like Bells)
Rose: Rose, Rose, Rosaline Hale (repeated)
Two Minutes Later Of Bella & Cullen Puppet Pals
Rose: I found the source of the ticking! It’s a pipe bomb!
Rose, Emmett, Bella, Jasper, and Carlisle: Yeay! (simultaneously)
Edward and Esme: NOOOOO! (simultaneously)
Big Noise: Boom!
Aro: Vampires, Vampires, Oh Vampie, Vampie, Vampie, Vampires!
Big Noise: Dun-Dun-Dun-Dun-Duunnnn!
Jane: And Cut!
Caius: Great job everyone, Emmett puppet, great work!
Emmett: What about me?
Caius: Moving on, what next Utube video are we going to mock?
Emmett: The Twilight Movie Trailer!!!!
Jasper: You moron, people have already done that!
Alice: Duh! That’s so obvious Emmett, where have you been?
Edward: And before you say, Niagara Falls, I’m going to suggest that we do Candy Mountain!
Esme: Is that a good idea, Alice?
Edward: Hahaha! That’s good stuff.
Caius: Okay then, Candy Mountain it is.
Later, when they were all set up to mock Candy Mountain
Alice and Bella: Let’s go to Candy Mountain Edward, Candy Mountain!
Edward: There’s no such thing as candy mountain, go eat a werewolf.
Alice and Bella: Shun the non-belivers, shuuuun.
Edward: Fine, I’ll go, but I don’t eat candy, for Pete’s sake!
Alice and Bella: Off to Candy Mountain, we’ll go ahead, you go through the door
Edward: Oww! Seriously, this bridge has major splinters in it! God!
Edward sees the “realistic” door marked “Candy Mountain”
Edward: Oh My God! It’s real!
Edward goes through the door and gets trapped
Edward: What the hell?
Alice and Bella: Nighty- Night!
One time card that somehow passes in front of the camera later,
Edward: Shit! They took my spleen! I need that to store and filter venom!
Jane: Annnnnnnnnnd, Cut!
Caius: Great Job, Alice, Bella.
Edward: What about me?
Caius: Alright, what should we do next? Vampires across the globe are waiting to get this video.
Bella: Yea! ‘Cause it’s a sequel!
Bella: Ummm. Hello?
Alice: OH! Now I get it.
Edward: So do I.
Caius: What is it? That was really strange and out of character.
Aro rolls his eyes
Aro: Not that Stephenie Meyer cares about character, look what she did to Laurent in the movie…
Caius: Well, what did Bella mean by that?
Edward: Alice’s vision said that Bella was going to say that we should do How to be Gangster
Rosalie: Shut up you idiot!
Emmett: Harsh, much.
Jane: Who’s going to be in the mockery? It’s a two man show.
Emmett: PICK ME! OH FOR THE LOVE OF ARO, PICK ME.
Everyone backs away from Emmett
Emmett: It was a joke! Christians say, “For the love of God” and the god of vampires is Aro.
Everybody Simultaneously (beside Emmett): Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Aro: Halleluiah, that makes more sense now.
Emmett: WHO IS GOING TO BE IN THE NEXT BLOODY PRODUCTION?
Caius: I choose, Aro, and...
Edward and Alice: NOOOOOOOO!
Caius: Why not? The Volturi has a new addition to the group. Pheon, come on out.
Pheon: Okay Caius.
Caius: Pheon will make our second member of the production forget about vampires.
Bella: OMG NO WAY! THIS WILL BE SO FUNNY!
Later while performing How to be Gangster
Mike: Don’t attack me Aro. I know how to be werewolf now!
Big Noise: Pounding sounds-caused by Aro beating up Mike
Mike: Aoh, stop it, stop it.
Deep Voice You Hear On Commercials: Hey you!
Mike: Who Me?
The D-thing With The Long Title: Yeah, you.
The D. Thing: Still getting beaten up by mythical creatures? And you still can’t defend yourself?
The Long D. Thing: Well then, how to be vampire, is the DVD for you.
Mike: Hey! I caught it!
The Deep Voice You Hear On Commercials throws a DVD at Mike
Deep V.: This DVD includes your two very own personal trainers.
Aro: Yo! Wassup? My name is idiotically long. Call me Aro.
Mike: Yo, yo, yo! Wassup? My name is Mike.
Aro: The first lesson in being a vampire is to swear at werewolves and use stupid hand motions.
Aro: What the fuck are werewolves’ fuckin’ problems, those fucking reatards…
Mike: Lesson number two, you gotta have a cool, quick hand shake with all your homies.
Both: Oh! Wassup!
They do a horribly choreographed and long hand shake that looks like it was done by little girls.
Aro: Lesson three, you gotta know how to pose, and stand cool with your homies.
Aro: Here’s some poses that you can try out with your homies.
A lot of random and stupid poses go by
Aro: A true vampire always breaks the rules.
They do really some retarded “rule breaking”
Aro: Lesson…5 A true vampire knows how to rap.
Really “cool” and “uncool” songs playing back and fourth
Aro: Yo! If you follow all these lessons,
Mike: It should look a little something like this.
Being a "vampire" really didn’t help Mike in the fight.
The Weird Deep Voice Who Left Us a While Ago: Imprint!- teehee!
Really interesting bloopers that have to have been planed, they're so funny, pass by.
Jane: Annnnnnd, CUT!
- Willie Jean
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