Text Size Large SizeMedium SizeSmall Size    Color Scheme Black SchemeWhite SchemeGrey SchemePaper Scheme        

Utube With The Volturi

Summary:
Well, it's what it says. Bella is a vampire, Caius is the director, and Jane is the camera woman. Rated teen for swearing.


Notes:
Hey! There really isn't much to say, I said it in the summary! Hope you like it!


3. Australian + Mexican = The Deep Voice Dude and a Pissed Off Marcus

Rating 0/5   Word Count 537   Review this Chapter

The Deep Voice Dude: Welcome to Australian Jeopardy, live from Mexico!!!

D. V. Dude: With your host, Carlisle Cullen!

Carlisle: Here are today’s contestants.

Emmett: I LIKE ENCHILADAS!!!!

Carlisle: Oooooookay,…

Marcus: hello.

Carlisle: How interesting.

Alec: I despise everyone here.

Carlisle: Good to know.

Carlisle: Emmett, pick the first clue.

Emmett: I’ll have “Human Food” for 200.

Carlisle: This bakery type item consists of fluffy goodness, and blueberries.

Marcus: what is ice cream.

Carlisle: Hell NO!

Alec: What is French fries.

Carlisle: NO!

Emmett: OO! I KNOW! WHAT ARE BLUEBERRY MUFFINS!!!!!!!!!

Carlisle: Correct! Next question.

Emmett: 400.

Carlisle: This Czech dish is a type of roll covered in poppyseed.

Alec: Rolicky.

Carlisle: T00 bad!

Marcus: what is rolicky.

Carlisle: Correct!

Alec: What the fuck? That’s exactly what I said!

Carlisle: You didn’t say “What is”.

Alec: It is the first round! You are supposed to let people off on that!

Carlisle: T00 bad. Next question.

Marcus: i’ll have “Bitch” for 600.

Carlisle: Daily Double!

Marcus: i’ll wager 1,000

Carlisle: You do realize you can bet 1,000,000. Right?

Marcus: really? i’ll bet that.

Carlisle: This electronic company produced the “Goomba”.

Marcus: what kind of a question is that.

Carlisle: We’re bitches for making these insane questions!!!

Marcus: screw you.

Carlisle: Oh well. You lose $1,000,000.

Marcus: at least i don’t have to pay you the million.

Carlisle: Actually…

Marcus: i hate this damn show.

Carlisle: That’s nice.

Carlisle: Next.

Marcus: bitch for 200.

Carlisle: This collector is the founder of Pieper and Associates.

Alec: Who is George Bush?

Carlisle: NO! The only thing Bush can do is dodge shoes. Damn! He’s good at that.

Emmett: I say he has cat-like reflexes!!! Oh. Who is Jim Pieper?

Carlisle: Correct! How did you know that?

Emmett: I just did.

Backstage

Alice: THAT LIAR!!!!!!!!

Back with Carlisle

Carlisle: And that ends this game, with Alec at,

Alec: -$600.

Carlisle: Marcus at,

Marcus: -$9,999,800.Carlisle: And our champion Emmett at,

Emmett: $600! BOO YAH!!!!!!!!!!

Carlisle: According to show rules, Alec and Marcus owe 1,000,400. Respectively.

Emmett: YES!!!! NOW I CAN GET ME A POKEMON YELLOW VERSION!

Rosalie from the side: ACCEM!?!?!?

Emmett: and an outfit for Rose.

(Emmett: And some werewolf assassins.)

Edward: I heard that Emmett, don’t do it. Pheon will do a much better job.

Alice: For much, much less.

Emmett: I AM SO RICH!

Edward: We were rich beforehand…

Emmett: SHUT UP!

Jane: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand, CUT!

Caius: That’s a wrap!

Rosalie: Hump.

Emmett: Ugg.

Pheon aside to Edward: Why are Rosalie and Emmett together? And what will I do better?

Edward: Emmett was going to hire were-wolf assassins to kill Rosalie.

Pheon: I’d gladly do it. Does he really want that though?

Jasper: Yes. Yes he does. Before this he would have said no, but now he says yes.

Pheon: If you’re sure. I’ll talk to him first.

Alice’s Phone: Ring-ring-ring-ring-ring-ring-ring-ring Banana Phone!!!!!!!!

Alice: It’s Emmett!

Alice: Uhh huh. Okie-Dokie!

Alice: He and Rose can hear us.

Pheon: Oh yeahhhhh. They’re right there.

Edward: Olah!

Rosalie: Shut up.

Pheon: Good job Emmett!!!

Emmett: Thank you!

Alice: You liar!!!

Emmett: Yeah…J

asper: See ya! I’m starving!

Pheon: I’ll come.

Emmett: Me too.

Emmett: By the way, what do you eat Pheon? Your eyes are pink.

Pheon: Mainly animals. I forget and eat humans sometimes too.

All but the Volturi: YOU FORGET!?!?!?!?!?!?

Pheon: Yea. I wiped my own mind ‘cause of painful human memories.

Rosalie: YOU BETTER COME BACK SOON EMMETT!

Emmett: Fine! Jesus!

Caius: DAMN! Rose should have been in the “Bitches” category.

Everybody else but Rose: Hell yes.

Rosalie: WHAT!?!?!?!

Pheon: Emmett, my services are open.

Emmett: Do it!

Rosalie: What just happened?

Emmett: You said that you didn’t want a new outfit with my Australian Jeopardy winnings.

Edward: And that you wanted to donate all of your clothes to charity.

Rosalie: WHAT!?!?!?!