Jasper's POV at Bella's birthday party. May or may not be a one shot fic depending on reviews and writing time.
1. Chapter 1
Rating 5/5 Word Count 2730 Review this Chapter
We could all hear Edward’s car as it sped down the lane and through the trees to the house. The excitement in the room had jumped in measurable degrees for everyone, even Rosalie.
Alice was flying through the house in a blur as she had been doing all day. She wanted everything to be perfect. It had been so long since we had honored anyone with a birthday and now we were about to honor a human’s.
Bella to me was odd as the newest and only human member of the family or would be until Edward ever got around to changing her. When that occasion arose, I would no longer have to stand in the shadows and feel everyone’s trepidation every time I was near our favorite human.
The worry would start with Edward and work down to Alice. My beautiful, sweet, and clothes crazy wife assured me repeatedly that I would not hurt Bella. If only everyone in the family was as convinced as she. Even Carlisle from time to time wondered if I could keep myself together.
I would freely admit that there were times that were harder than others were. The trip to Phoenix had taken every bit of my self-control. When we had arrived at the ballet studio, the smell of delicious ambrosia was almost too much to bear. Luckily, rage won over bloodlust. Rage that someone could so easily come into our family and hurt one of our own. Emmett and I had taken great pleasure in tearing James apart and watching his body burn.
It had been a few days since I had fed so when Bella and Edward walked into the door I hung back. Letting go of Alice’s hand I leaned against the post at the foot of the stars and smiled at Bella when she looked my way. She was nervous as usual and as she saw, the room and the cake became almost distraught that we had done so much for her birthday, or at least too much by her standards. I tried hard not to grin at her aversion for the birthday cake that would mostly go uneaten.
Alice in true form wanted Bella to open presents before anything else and did not even give the poor girl a chance to breathe before she was shoving our joint gift into her hands. The idea for the stereo had come from Edward complaining about the one in her truck, and how no matter what you did, it sounded like crap.
I could feel Emmett’s excitement as the paper tore and was removed. Everyone in the room felt Bella’s happiness with the gift and felt her smile. For me it came through loud and clear when she looked at me and grinned. Poor Emmett was almost bouncing on his feet and then grabbed the box out of her hand and ran to the garage before she had even had a chance to admire it. His glee made me snicker to myself.
In the time, it took to hand Bella another gift Emmett was back and pushing into me as we all leaned a little closer to see what Edward had gifted his love.
One red drop. Warm, spicy, and ambrosia on the tongue. In a nanosecond venom pooled my mouth and all I saw was hunger, and taste, a thirst so powerful I saw nothing but red. I could taste it already on my tongue alive, warm and pulsating.
In an instant, I became the predator that resided in us all. The nectar was all but mine, rich and thick.
I wanted it.
I would have it.
I leaped at my prey and meet an obstruction with obscene force. Growling low, deep in my throat I howled at the being keeping me away from my prey. I heard the breaking of glass but the sound was inconsequential.
The smell of heaven, wet, sweet, delicious heaven enflamed every sense I had. It was orgasmic and it sung to me the melody of life, of sex and everything in this world that was delectable.
I would get to my bounty one way or another and snapped my teeth vicious and manic at the face in front of me. It was survival of the fittest and I was more than willing for the task, anything to get me just one drop of heaven.
I felt the locking grip slam into me from behind, strong and sure. Struggling with the grasp I heard words that held no meaning for me, not even that of my own name.
Baring my teeth I fought trying to use my jaws as the powerful weapons they were when my arms were incapacitated.
Did they not hear the siren call? It clawed at me, beckoning me just for one drop. One taste on my tongue and I would be free.
I continued to struggle violently the further away from what I craved I knew not where I was being taken only that I wanted to go back.
It was mine.
It sang for me.
Even for a vampire the water was icy as it flowed over me and into my open snarling mouth. I gasped and choked at the intrusion into my lungs.
Struggling to get the water out I stood only to be pushed back down forcibly.
“Damn it Jasper, cool off man.” The voice was strong and recognizable.
“What the hell’s gotten into you Jasper? Are you completely insane?” The punch to my jaw rocked me back into the water, flushed the haze from my mind, and brought everything in celerity.
Images flowed through the rage. God, what had I done?
One drop. One drop of Bella’s precious blood had turned me yet again into the monster I tried so hard not to be.
I sat in the freezing water my hands hanging over my knees with my head hung low and let all the feelings come.
I could feel the anger coming off Rosalie in profusion and more than ready to punch me again if she had to.
Emmett was angry, confused and saddened by the whole episode. He had believed for too long that I was getting better.
Who knew? Maybe after the years with the all you could eat human buffet I was never going to be the person they all wanted me to be.
It would probably be better for us all if they destroyed me now before it was too late. Alice would be devastated but in the end, maybe it was for the best.
“What the hell was that back there man? After Phoenix I thought you’d be able to handle something as stupid as a paper cut.” Emmett leaned against the tree, still ready for action if his tensed hands were any clue.
“I tried to tell you all something like this was going to happen. Well now it’s just perfect isn’t it?” Rosalie sat down on a boulder in a huff. Her anger was now hitting me in blasts.
“Is she all right?” I could not bring myself to raise my head. Bella, our Bella had almost been hurt by me.
Luckily, the family had been there. I knew what I would have done to her had we been alone. The feelings of guilt I was feeling now would have been nothing compared to the guilt I would have felt over killing her.
If my stomach could have, it would have been twisting enough to make me vomit. I would go away if they wanted me to, leave the state if not the country. Whatever the consequences were I would pay them no matter the cost. The cost was sure to mean my own life.
I could only imagine what was happening back at the house and with Edward. I had tried to go through my own brother in an attempt to satisfy bloodlust. He was going to hate me and rightfully so. If he killed me the instant we were back he would be well justified.
Bella, dead God, Bella! What did she think of me now? I had tried to kill her, had wanted her blood on my tongue. That one drop had called to me a song of crystal clarity that had burned into every molecule of my body.
“Let’s get back to the house; they’ve got to be done and gone by now.” Rosalie stood with impatience and not bothering to wait, even for Emmett, and took off down the mountain toward home.
“Come on man, time to go face the music. Got to hand it to you Jasper, you really know how to kill the life of the party.” Emmett took off after Rosalie.
They left to a home where I was probably no longer welcome.
I knew he had meant the last part in jest, but in this case, it was all too true. If Edward had been just a little slower to stand in my way, Bella would be dead.
There was only one option for me as long as Bella and Edward were together and Bella was human I was going to have to go away if Edward didn’t kill me first. Maybe it was best for us all in the end. I loved Alice with all my heart and our family, but maybe because of my past I was destined to be alone.
Standing, shaking the ice that had started to form around me loose I took off for what would be my last night with my family. It had to be. I could not take back this mess. Forever I would be seeing Bella and her startled eyes as I lunged toward her and the predator in me more than ready to show her what being a vampire really was.
The house was almost eerily silent as it came into view. The lights were a beacon to a place I was sure I was no longer welcome. Stopping I walked the last hundred yards. My heart clenched as I saw Alice on the porch waiting for me. When she saw me, she leapt down and was in my arms. I was sure she would have been crying if she could have. Her legs wrapped around me and her face pressed into my neck. Shaking with sobs that contained no tears she clung to me and me to her.
Pain and anguish poured into me and I did not have the strength to take it away from either of us. With my face pressed into her soft neck, I carried her into the house and my doom.
Wave after wave hit me in force as I walked in the door and set Alice down. Disappointment, anguish and sadness sent me to my knees on the wooden floor. It was not just from one person, but my entire family.
Taking the necessary steps, I made my way into the house and where I would find them all.
Esme and Carlisle each had a trash bag in their hands and I looked at the destruction that I had caused.
I felt him before I saw or smelled him. My brother.
With one hand in one, instant he had me by the throat and against the wall leaving a floor to ceiling crack and making the house shudder.
Edward’s eyes were black with rage and pain and I would not use my power to comfort him. Whatever he dished out to me, I deserved times a hundred.
“You ever so much as sniff in her scent again and I will destroy you.” Venom dripped from his mouth as his hand tightened around my neck threatening to snap off my head with one tug. He dropped me to the floor.
Turning toward the family, he barked out the order that he expected us to follow or fear his wrath and that even included Carlisle with the exception of Esme.
“Pack up. We’re leaving.”
“I’ll leave. You don’t have to do this.” My head hung in shame and my guilt only got me as so far as my knees. My words came out as a plea to Edward’s back. No one wanted to leave. This was my mess and I should be the one to clean it up. Standing I placed my hand on my brother’s shoulder trying to calm him as much as I was able to for the moment.
“It’s not just about you Jasper. Do you all not see? We are all a danger to her. None of us can fully control the urge not to kill her. It is best for us all if we leave.” Edward was looking at the floor and every one of his emotions hit me like a ton of bricks and sent me yet again to my knees.
Carlisle came next to us and put his hand on the shoulder that I had vacated when sinking to the floor.
“What will you tell Bella, son? When? “Carlisle spoke assurance. He would risk anything to keep the family together. It was something that made him an incredible patriarch.
“Tomorrow and whatever it takes. No one is to contact her once I leave. Better to forget all about us and live a normal life. Any life with us will see her hurt then killed. Her life is worth whatever price we have to pay.” He turned and left the house, running with every ounce of speed that he possessed to spend one last night with the woman he loved.
Everyone in the family seemed to agree and each left to go do the chores that were required of them.
Alice came to help me and I gently turned her away to have a few minutes peace. I stood to show her a facsimile that I was ok and she left with sadness and love in her eyes.
The remains from the offending occurrence were no longer visible and the smell of bleach was so strong that it burned my nose and throat. I was sure that Esme would still be finding cake and glass for years to come.
If I could have shed a bucket of tears in that moment, I would have. Whatever they asked of me I would do. Edward had said nothing about me leaving on my own but it was still early. His moods could change with the drop of a hat and often did lately. I would take forever to make it up to him; to make it up to them all if they would let me.
Turning I started to leave the room and felt the gentle crush of glass under my foot. Bending I picked up the offensive piece a horrible shred of the night. I spotted something by the table leg that brought back every feeling and thirst that reminded me of why I was in this mess to begin with.
One drop remained, dark and congealed on the floor by the table leg. The song that called to me possessed me, beckoned me with all that heaven and hell could hold. Tonight I was weak and could not resist.
With a split second decision that I prayed Alice would not see I used my right index finger. I scrubbed it clean. Bringing the precious smear of fluid to my nose, I was sure that the pool of venom on my tongue was dripping down my mouth. It was the same smell as it had been the first time. Spicy, exotic, and oh so forbidden.
If I was going to hell, I was going to go out with a bang. With human slowness, I brought that one drop to my tongue.
My whole body exploded. It was like nothing I had ever tasted before. It was heaven and I was flying in its song crashing into me with tsunami force. For an instance however brief, my heart beat and I was warm with life. Even if I lived the rest of my existence in the pits of hell, I would have this one moment of heaven.
This was what Edward was giving up and he was a fool. The predator in me gleamed and began making plans to one day have just one more drop of the most precious flavor that was possible to taste by human or vampire.