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Life With The Nomads

Summary:
Ever wonder what went on before Twilight with James, Victoria, and Laurent? Ever wonder why they ended up so evil? Ever wonder what kind of stuff they did before they ran into Bella and the Cullens?? Well, a brief summary is: James decided that his life-long ambission was to not kill the stupid kid that kept teasing him while he was human and 17, but to form a cheerleading squad. Laurent isn't from France and he isn't all that old. Actually, he was changed in the 70s where he lived with his hippie mother in a trailer park. Victoria was actually a people-person, until James came into her window and attacked her. And all was well until they ran into our favorite Olympic Coven, where all of them kinda...died over a three-book time period.


Notes:


1. Chapter 1: The Beginning of Our Favorite Evil Villain

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Chapter 1: The Beginning of Our Favorite Evil Villain

James James wasn’t your average boy. And when you make fun of his name he’ll sit you down and tell you that his parents weren’t retarded and he wasn’t adopted into a family that’s last name was James. No, he’ll tell you the truth, which is that he was named after his father who was named after his father who was named after his father who was named after his father who was named after his father who was named after his mother who was named after her father who was named after his father who was named after his uncle who was named after his father who was named after his father who was named after his father who was named after his father whose parents thought it would be funny if his last name was the same as his first. Then he might try to karate chop you with his mad skills (because people actually had karate chopping mad skills even in 16th-century-London. Yeah, its pretty old.).

Then you may want to argue that humans weren’t around for that long after you got over that his great-great-great-great-grandmother was named James. James will then tell you that they were, just that it hasn’t been recorded in history until a certain time and that there were probably more James James’s in the world after the brothers or sisters of those great-great-great-great-grandmothers who also wanted to torture there children.

Then the person James was arguing with would probably get bored and walk away or hit him because he was acting like a scrawny moron. Or both, depending on the mood.

And that was only one reason why James wasn’t your average boy of around 16th century-ish.

James wanted power. Not just the hanky-panky-I’m-a-landlord-look-at-me type of power, but the powerful I’m-going-to-take-over-the-world-so-watch-out-and-don’t-hit-me-because-I’m-an-ugly-smart-ass type of power.

Power, as he learned, wasn’t easy to come by. Especially when you are a scrawny, friendless, dork with your lat name being the same as your first. You had to have some skills. Things that would help you come to power.

Unfortunately, James James didn’t have any skills, he was, after all, an ugly, friendless, skill-deprived dork with your lat name being the same as your first. Skills, after all, just didn’t walk up to you and say ‘Hey, you have no skills! Want one?’

Well, James James didn’t have any skills that he thought would help him at least, because there was one skill that would help him when he turned immortal (and if you didn’t know that he was going to become a vampire, you are a very unintelligent person that has obviously gone to the wrong website and decided to click on a random story to see what it was about. If you are, sorry for spoilers, sucks for you.).

This skill is important.

This skill is special.

This skill is unbelievable.

This skill will make you shudder in you socks and say ‘I wish I had that skill!’

This skill was that he was incredibly good at hide-and-seek.

Yes, you may wonder ‘Why in the name of sweet Volturi would a 17-year-old dude still play hide-and-seek? Doesn’t he have an X-Box or something (which, by the way, you shouldn’t be asking, since they didn’t have X-Boxes in the 1700s)?’

Well, to tell you the truth, hide-and-seek is an incredibly entertaining game. And wouldn’t you, an almost-skill-less person want to play to your advantages?

James was very good at this. He could track people down very fast without them noticing, thus they did not have enough time to run to base (because, when you are a scrawny, almost skill-less, dork with your lat name being the same as your first, you don’t run very fast). And this skill would make him the most skilled non-American American vampire in the US in a few centuries.

Of course, our little evil villain did not know this. So, right this very moment (well, this very moment in the 16th-century-London) James was sitting at his desk, doodling himself with many very weird-looking wives (because, he is, after all, skill-less, if you’ve been paying attention) in front of a castle on a tropical island with a lot of cute little monkeys and piles of gold (yeah, it would be pretty flipping sweet if he didn’t draw so bad).

Then, as all of us do when we suck at something, he started crying (well, maybe you wouldn’t cry because of your suckish-ness at drawing, but then again, you probably are good at stuff other that childish games). And no one knew, and if they did, they wouldn’t care.