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Loving you is the hardest thing

What if Jasper Hale was made for Bella Swan, and finally they realised their feelings? Can they continue to hide them, or will they open up when an unexpected surprise ruins everything they held close?


1. Return to Forks High

Rating 4.5/5   Word Count 1255   Review this Chapter

Bella POV

Forks High had remained the same, as I walked hand in hand with Edward, the love of my life. I was a senior now, and that meant extra classes, but unfortunately Edward wasn’t going to be there. He had dropped, along with Emmett, Rosalie and Alice to make my school life easier. The only Cullen that hadn’t dropped was Jasper, someone I had not ever been close with. Ever since he’d lost control of his thirst at my birthday party, he’d avoided me at all possible outcomes. But now Jasper would be there, and I’d be forced to bond with him. Edward let go of my hand and pulled me around to face him.

“Try having fun Bella love. Im only a phone call away, but im sure Jasper can look after you while im not there.” He looked away, pained by how he wouldn’t be there. I placed my palm on his cheek and grinned.

“Im sure Jasper will look after me, okay. So go, before I don’t let you.”

His favourite crooked smile appeared on his chalky face and then he slipped me a shy kiss on the forehead, before vanishing back to his Volvo.

“Right Isabella Marie Swan, knock ‘um dead.”

I sat down at the vacant desk next to the window and held up my schedule. I had trigonometry now, then double English, biology and gym. It was going to be strange not having Edward to walk me to all these classes, but I’d have to make do with Mike Newton or Angela Webb.

“Bella…?” I looked up to see Jasper staring down at me, his honey blonde hair gleaming in the sunlight.

“Hi Jasper.” I beamed, I at least needed to make an effort.

“May I sit with you?” I chuckled slightly to myself and Jasper’s face grew confused.

“You’re doing this so you can look after me right?”


“Okay, Edward does want me to look after you, but that’s not the reason I want to sit with you, I just would like to make amends with you for being very idiotic.”Jasper smiled slightly then took his place next to me.

He smelled so lovely, much nicer then Edward did, and the topaz in his eyes dazzled me.

“Bella?” I hadn’t realised I was gawping until he said my name, and then my heart fluttered.

“Sorry Jasper, you wanted to apologise right?”

Mentally kicking myself for forgetting he can read emotion, I put on my sincerest smile and let him continue.

“Yes well, im sorry for what happened at your party. I ruined it for you. But I just want you to know, I have more control of my thirst for human blood now, plus I think of you as my own sister.”

So that’s all he thought I was to him now, a ‘sister’ figure. But I couldn’t help thinking, no craving for him to want me in a more sexual way.

Jasper POV

“Yes well, im sorry for what happened at your party. I ruined it for you. But I just want you to know, I have more control of my thirst for human blood now, plus I think of you as my own sister.”

That’s when I got a strong surge of Lust. I looked around the room swiftly to see who else was there but, it was just us. So she was lusting for someone, or something. I wondered who, could it be me? No why would I think such a thing, Bella is my brothers fiancé, and my wife’s best friend.I pushed the thought out of my head and continued my apology.

“Well, um, I, um, I haven’t got a clue what to say now.” If I could blush, I swear I would have right then.

She smiled at me, and I melted instantly. It reminded me of the setting sun, and how beautiful it is, how beautiful she is. Suddenly a surge of mixed emotions hit me square on, and I knew that the classroom was starting to fill up. I just slunk back and removed my books. The last thing I needed was questioning of my closeness to Bella. Word would eventually get to Edward. Or rather through his head. Bella was still smiling when Angela Webb interrupted her train of thoughts and even when Mike Newton asked if he could sit by her, clearly not acknowledging me. A small snarl echoed from the back of my throat, and Bella turned to me, confused.

“Sorry Mike, im sitting with Jasper.” He scowled at me, before nodding silently.

Edward was only just off the scene and he was going in for the kill already. But then again, I couldn’t exactly say that, not when I was doing it as well.

The rest of Trigonometry passed quickly, and I’d finished the paper within the first five minutes. I could teach this class thanks to the amount of time I’d done it before. Bella has struggled with her answers and I couldn’t stop myself from whispering the answers in her ear. She smelled of strawberries and kiwi. I just wanted to hold her and inhale her scent more, but I couldn’t do that. I couldn’t hurt Alice, and I couldn’t hurt my brother.

Bella POV

Trigonometry flew by and I found Jasper in some sort of trance when I looked up after the bell had gone. He reminded me of Edward when id first came to Forks High. I nudged him with my arm to see if I could snap him out of his thoughts.

“Jasper, class has finished.” His eyes became normal again and he flashed me a grin, which made my knees weak.

I chuckled slightly and nodded at him, before rushing to my very annoyed English teacher.

“Sorry im late sir.” Mr Adams tightened his lips into a thin line, before sending me to my seat in silence.

I hated having everyone’s eyes burning into my flesh.

“I wondered what was up with Jasper.” I thought open minded “Maybe he does like me, maybe he wants me. No that’s stupid Bella, he’s found his mate, and that’s Alice, not you. God you’re so stupid.”

I ignored the lecture about Shakespeare the class was being given and delve deeper into my thoughts.

“Why is he so bloody attractive, what with his honey blonde hair and stupid dazzling grin.” I sighed a long exasperated sigh “I don’t remember feeling this way about Edward when I first saw him, he was just gorgeous, and well it’s something different with my feelings for Jasper. Thank god Edward can’t read my mind.”

I drifted in and out of thought until the end of the two periods in which I had only my name on the pieces of paper I had been given. Scooping them up, I bunched them into my bag, and headed for the canteen, why did I miss breakfast this morning I’ll never know. But again the canteens food was mostly inedible so I skipped the food and sat down at the ‘Cullen table’ as it was referred too. Bringing my art pad out, I began to sketch a beautiful male, with curly locks and a face as clear as crystal.

“Is that me?” Chuckled a familiar voice.

As I looked up, Jasper winked and sat opposite me, then pointed to my drawing. He had been right in a sense, it did look like him, but in some aspect I pictured the male as human.

“If that’s what you want to think, then fine.”

Jasper chuckled again and I snapped my pad shut.

“Oh Edward phoned earlier, said he can’t take you out for dinner.”

My face sunk.