Fire or Ice?
Bella must finally choose. Will she continue her relationship with her true lover Edward? Or will she go down the socially 'right' path and follow her heart towards Jacob?
DISCLAIMER: I own no characters. All character belong to Stephenie Meyer and the Twilight Saga.
1. A Small and Disasterous Talk
Rating 5/5 Word Count 1808 Review this Chapter
It was such a horrible position to be in.
Could love really be so immensely complicated? Did it have to be, or was it just my luck? I chuckled at the thought; my luck. Hmm that sounded about right.
Edward Cullen was my life, the one I lived for, the reason of my being. There’s no doubt about it, no one will ever change me loving him. But there was someone who made it very difficult to love him.
Jacob freaking Black; though he is my best friend, it’s virtually impossible to not be attracted to him, absolutely impossible. Jacob was the complete antithesis of Edward, and I had to admit that it would be me who fell in love with two complete opposites that had nothing in common except they both shared my heart.
There was no real competition though; I would marry Edward Cullen, he was the right one for me. But knowing what a marriage to a complete enemy of Jacob would do to him made it impossible for me to ever consider marriage anytime soon.
Edward is sweet, passionate, conscientious, loving, and irrevocably perfect in my opinion.
Jacob is rebellious, charming, humorous, masculine, lustful, and downright friendly…when he wants to be.
Sitting on the couch in Charlie’s house, or I mean ‘my’ house I suppose, home alone trying to come up with the impossible solution to be able to love both of them, fully, without hurting one of them.
Edward would kill Jacob Black if he did anything to me, unless I gave him permission. That’s why, since Edward went out hunting, or feeding I should say, I invited on my own will for Jake to come over and talk to him about this, finally. Thankfully today was a perfect day to do it considering Charlie went over to Billy Black’s house for some male bonding time, I guess.
I had one leg on the couch propping my elbow on my knee. I looked thrilled, I’m sure, but I was completely perplexed about everything that was evolving into my life.
The next thing I heard was the Rabbit outside in the drive way, my heart fell to my stomach. I don’t think Jacob Black will ever know the absolute effect he has on me; it was not nearly as strong as Edward’s effect, but along the same lines, yes.
His anxious, deep, and loud footsteps deafened my mind as he was walking up the front porch of the house, and added a single tap on the door. I took one deep breath, and cleared my thoughts.
“Come in, Jake.” I answered, knowing I probably didn’t have the guts to walk up to the door before the conversation.
When he walked in, I lost my breath for a slight second. He had no shirt on, surprise surprise. But no matter how many times I see him without full clothing on, I always turn into something like a star struck teen with the newest male celebrity.
“What no welcoming hug?” Jacob said with the smile, my Jacob’s smile, which melted my heart.
I decided I had to tough up to it all, and I pushed myself off the couch and toward the door. Before I was close enough for the hug he gave one long stride and pinned me in his humongous heated arms. Breathing was not easy once I saw him, and now with him crushing me in his innocent hug of his, it was impossible.
“Not breathing…” I managed to say.
He laughed and put me back down on the floor and we walked toward the couch and sat down, me falling on the way to sit.
“So, Bells, what’s your latest problem you need me to fix?” he said, sarcastically as always.
“Do you always assume there’s a problem? Or is it just what you’re hoping for?” I said in a half serious tone.
“Hey, the one day you call me down here and tell me Edward left again is just what I’m waiting for, I can’t trust that leech you know.” He said, possibly regretting mentioning Edward leaving to me.
No matter how long it had been since Edward left me before, I still shuddered at the thought. Luckily I knew why I called Jacob down here, and I had to get through with it eventually.
“Well sorry to disappoint you but Edward just left for…hunting, if you know what I mean.”
“Sure, sure. I get it. So what is it you needed me for then?” He said while moving an inch closer to me, if it was even possible to get closer.
“Jake, I need to talk about something serious. So can you please, if it’s even possible, mature a little during this conversation?” I said trying to add slight humor in it, so he didn’t think something really bad happened. Because in reality, nothing did happen, it was all me.
“Okay, okay I will. Just tell me already, you’re kind of freaking me out.” He said extremely eager to know.
“Jake lately I’ve been thinking about you and me.” I rushed into one short fast sentence. I closed my eyes when I finished saying it, trying to hide my embarrassment. But my rosy cheeks didn’t help.
“You have?” he said trying to hide the biggest and most accomplished grin I’ve ever seen on his face.
“Well yeah…umm it’s complicated really.” I said with a confused tone drowning my voice.
“What’s complicated Bells? If you’ve finally managed to see past the bloodsucker, and realized that I’m better for you, then it’s not complicated. It’s right.” He said sounding somewhat mature, despite the nickname he loves to give Edward.
“No it’s not that simple Jacob I love Edward, you know I do and you know I won’t be able to stop loving him. But I keep thinking about what our love does to you, and I hate it! I hate myself for knowing that I hurt you and I’ve never let you think that before, but it’s true.” I said staring into his warming eyes that caressed over my face.
“You love me, but you can’t love me because that leech is ruining everything.” He wasn’t talking to me, more like talking to himself, but I didn’t interrupt. “I’ll kill him if that is the case, and I know it is. That lousy sick bloodsucker is not supposed to be here, he should have never met you. It should have been just you and I. That’s what is supposed to be.” He spoke with anger, the other side of Jacob that I didn’t prefer.
“Jake, that’s not exactly what I mean. I just need to know if it’s alright with you if I can…if you will be okay…if you won’t do something stupid if I…if I marry him.” I fell silent after I spoke.
He just stared at me, I felt expression within him, but it was hidden for just a short moment. Just then, his face broke into a very pugnacious Jacob, and I was hoping he wouldn’t phase. He put his hands on my shoulders, and began to breathe heavily.
“Marry the leech!? Marry him!? You’ve got to be insane Bells. If you think I would let you, you and your insane mind of yours, marry him, then I would think that you don’t know me at all. I love you, Bella. No wait, I’m in love with you. I will never give up on you, you’re all I want Bella. I will never let him marry you, make love with you, or even have some kind of freakish vampire family with you. I need you Bella, and you need me too.”
Tears filled my eyes to the point where I couldn’t see anything. I saw the outline of his masculine form and I could not hold in the tears any longer before they came sliding down my face in hot salty drops.
“You, Jacob Black, are the most rid…” I was not able to finish the sentence, for he kissed me with the most rage, passion, and expression I have ever felt before.
The kiss was long, but surprisingly, I did not want it to end. I didn’t care if Charlie walked in. I didn’t care if the house was on fire. I didn’t care if Edward knew what was going on, because I wanted this. I actually wanted Jacob Black. The kiss broke with Jacob breathing very deep.
“Ask me Bella, ask me.” He whispered hot in my ear. He knew I wanted the kiss, but there was something else, something deeper, that Jacob was not sure if I wanted it or not.
“Ask what?” I asked innocently, I knew what he wanted all too well.
“To make love to you; Bella, can I make love to you?” he said with such intensity I began to forget about everything but Jacob Black now on top of me.
“Jacob Black will you…please get off me. I can’t do this to Edward.” I couldn’t believe what was coming out of my mouth but I was, surprisingly, proud of myself.
He kissed my lips deeply again, as if trying to change my mind. It wouldn’t though, as much as I truly and deeply wanted to make love with him, I knew Edward was the only one I would ever make love to. The kiss broke again, and I began, and failing, to push him away.
“Jake, no.” I whispered.
He backed away and sat against the couch again, his head to the ceiling.
“To hell with the bloodsucker.” He said with so much hate I sat back up and backed away.
“Jacob stop saying that, I hate it when you say those things.” I said sounding like a frightened child. His head turned to me, still with the same hate towards Edward. He looked at me, observing my face and then my body. I was hoping to God he would not actually have an idea to…to rape me. No, no, not Jake. Clearly he would know Edward would kill him in the most brutal way if he did, but did that matter to him? No I didn’t think it did. He continued observing until he stopped and stared at my wrist. He was looking at the charm bracelet he gave me; attached was the wooden werewolf as I called it, gladly on polar side of the diamond heart charm Edward added on to it.
“You, you still wear this?” he said losing the hatred from his voice.
“Yes.” Was all I was able to say.
“Then what’s this?” he pointed out the diamond heart. How could I let him see this? How would he react if he knew Edward had added a charm to the bracelet he made me?
“Edward gave it to me.” I said in the most calming voice I could manage at the moment, hiding my fear.
Before I knew it he ripped off the bracelet on my wrist and put it in his jeans pocket as he got up and ran out through the door.
I sat there, helpless, depressed, and broken.
What did I just do?