One Love, Two Worlds, Three Words
Bella is single handedly the most popular and beautiful girl in all of Fort Lauderdale High, along with her best friends, Alice, Rosalie, and Angela. Edward is an odd ball out. The mysterious and charming boy isn't your average foster child. The traditional story of “boy meets girl” takes on a new twist, when the most unexpected happens and two people who couldn’t find themselves, find one another. One day, fate will bring them together and change their lives forever. Filled with tragedy, love, family hardships, and humor. Not your average fanfic. ALL HUMAN. OOC/AU -tlm
6. Whenever You Need Me
Rating 5/5 Word Count 4320 Review this Chapter
My eyes fluttered open at the sound of a knock on the door. I ignored it focusing my attention back on my breathing. Meditating was something that my mom had gotten from her yoga classes. I picked up on it not too long ago, but never bothered to practice regularly. I welcomed the peace now as the hot water beat down on my back, numbing my senses so fully that I had to wiggle my fingers to remind myself I was still here, in this body, in this world. Breathe in through the nose, and out through the mouth, out through the mouth and in through the nose. There was another knock on the door, this time a firm and hard bang.
“I don’t want to talk to you, for the last time already!” I yelled abruptly keeping my eyes closed. I turned back to the running shower and put my attention back on my breathing. That was only five minutes I thought to myself, five minutes of clearing my thoughts and thinking solely about my breathing. The five minutes wasn’t long enough. My mind mechanically went over this morning and last night’s events, the thoughts I was trying my best to put in the back of my mind. I could no longer tell if I was still crying. If I was, the tears were merging with the water that cascaded down my legs.
I’d been in the shower for over an hour now most likely. The shower felt nice after the physically demanding events of the day. I shut off the water shivering at the sudden chill of the cold air. I pulled the glass door to the side, grabbing my towel as I stepped out. I laughed tersely, thinking of how swiftly my day had gone from being more decent that the normal to the usual pit hole.
After the run, I left-unfortunately, to meet up with all the girls at Rosalie’s house. I was upset that I couldn’t think of any legitimate reasons to spend more time with Edward without seeming overly enthusiastic. Hopefully I would see him around at school. I would definitely be looking out for him. I could feel my heart kick up in speed at the thought of him and the questions the girls asked me about my morning. I didn’t tell them about the weird feelings that coursed through me when I was with him, but I did mention he claimed the title of being the first guy I’d ever had a relaxed conversation with. Then again, there were serious and gloomy moments, but the funny thing was, we never seemed to be overwhelmed by each other’s presence.
I made a friend and not just any friend, but a guy friend. Definite first. I stepped out of my bathroom and into the entertainment area that was separated from the rest of the room by a white wall. Walking into the main bedroom I looked up admiring the black walls that were covered in tiny stars which formed constellations. I’d had the design on my walls ever since I was a baby and I had never grown out of it. I’ve always been fascinated by astronomy. I think it just kind of grew with me, along with my love for all things in the world that we as the human race know so little about. One of them being vampires, I thought, throwing my copy of an Ann Rice novel onto the floor as I plopped down on my bed. As crazy as that sounded, I insisted to anyone that asked, they truly do exist. I laughed lightly, acknowledging the telescope that still lay behind the glass door of my balcony and the fake garlic necklace that hung on the furthest side of my curtain rod. I’m such a nerd.
My thoughts soon brought me back to Edward. Was it wrong to think about him so frequently after only knowing him for a short amount of time? If it were, at least no one would be able to point it out but myself. His face; even with his elegant and brave demeanor, I could see the ache that was hidden in his façade. Maybe this was what attracted my sympathy and kindness for him. He was just like me, going through hard times, but putting his best face forward. I smiled at the thought. My thoughts were rudely interrupted by a knock at the door.
“Bells, we need to talk, please I’m begging you, just give me a second,” Charlie yelled harshly. Ha, how sad, I couldn’t think of him as my dad and I probably never could, ever again.
“Okay!” I yelled. “ONE - OOPS TIMES UP, SORRY! GO AWAY I’M STILL CHANGING!” I screeched back fiercely jumping off my bed and stomping over to my walk-in closet. I hurriedly pulled out my favorite pair of holey sweats and a loose t-shirt from the bottom drawer of my white built-in dresser. This is where I secretly kept all my “un-approved” clothing.
“Just give me five minutes to explain!” He yelled once more. I tried to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall over once more as I snapped on my bra. “There is nothing to explain! You’re a cheating son of a bitch and you’re a disgrace of a father!” I yelled back; finally pulling over my shirt and throwing my door open to stare at his shocked but offended expression. Oh you bet I said that mister! I looked more closely at him after a couple seconds of silence. His hair was a mess and he was shirtless. I could see that he was starting to grow grayish-white hairs, as well. The last time I was ever staring my father straight in the eye as I did now was ages ago. My hands began to shake as nostalgia took over every part of my being. Why me? What was this happening? This was so wrong. Suddenly, his calm mask broke through and anger flitted in his eyes. The next thing I knew, my head was angled slightly to my shoulder and the right side of my cheek stung badly. I lifted my hand slowly to my cheek and cringed at the pain as I lightly patted it.
“You are one ungrateful, spoiled little brat! You know that! I’ve given you the world! Any girl would be lucky to have what you have and you sit here talking back to the man that’s given you life! Shame on you and how dare you call me a disgrace!” I let the tears flow freely now as he continued poking his finger into my face while advancing towards me. “Look at you prancing around as if you own the world, thinking no one can touch you. At least I can admit mistakes. Yes, I was about to sleep with another woman other than your mother! She already knows!” I gasped at his last comment. I could feel the sobs coming out my mouth, broken and desperate. “Now why don’t you follow in my steps and admit yours right now by explaining how outrageous it was for you to talk back to me that way!” He finished. At this point I had dropped to my knees, covering my ears panting heavily. Angel of God, my guardian dear, to whom God’s love commits me here. Ever this day be at my side to light and guard, to rule and guard…I chanted as he continued putting me down. I could feel a hole digging itself into me. This couldn’t be described as anything but hell. His laughter interrupted my quiet chant which apparently he could hear.
“Give up that Jesus crap. If there was a God, he’d make this world less full of stupid sluts like you!” He spat. That was it; I couldn’t listen to this anymore. I got up slowly clinging to my chest in an attempt to help keep myself together. He abruptly stepped in front of me blocking my only exit. I turned my face to look at him directly, letting my hatred and remorse burn into his eyes.
“If there wasn’t a God, you’d be in hell right now.” I retorted. I shoved him aside, not regretting that I didn’t hurt him more than I could of. I ran down the double staircase, almost stumbling on my way and grabbed my purse and the keys to my mom’s new Scion that were still on the coffee table. Slamming the door open and closed, I regretted not bringing a jacket too. It was freezing and it was getting late. I revved the engine and pulled out of the driveway. Speeding down the streets of the area, it was eerily quiet, so I switched on the radio, letting the sounds of Journey’s new album fill the car. My mom had similar music taste as I did. This I welcomed for the moment. I had no idea what I was going to do. Mom would be back tomorrow. Did she really know about this already, like he said? I found that hard to believe. I felt as if I didn’t know either of them anymore, though I could understand why they would keep it secret from me, they wouldn’t want to hurt me. I couldn’t say that for my father any longer. He…he hit me. The thought had never even crossed my mind. My parents haven’t touched me once in my life. They didn’t believe in hitting. Did he do it simply out of anger of getting caught? I couldn’t believe this, any of it. It was just so unreal.
For the time being, I had to figure out where I was going, but I couldn’t even think of that. I drove aimlessly for maybe thirty minutes. It wasn’t till then that I decided I would go to the beach, at least I could avoid Charlie and get time to think. Using the car phone, I dialed Alice quickly. It rang five times before I almost hung up.
“H-hello?..” A very groggy Alice answered. I was silent for a moment thinking of what to say. “Hello?”
“Alice, it’s Bella.” I managed to at least whisper.
“Bella? Where are you calling from?” She immediately panicked.
“My mom’s car, I…I’m not sure where I’m at. Meet me at Deerfield Beach, the usual spot. Call everyone else.”
“Oh no, the spot, that bad huh? What happened? Are you okay?” She asked hurriedly.
“Long story, I need to talk to you guys as soon as possible,” I tried to speak straight but couldn’t help the sobs that started to fill the car.
“Shush-shush dear, I promise I’ll be there soon, I’m just-put-on-shoes,” she muffled. “Love you Bella, on my way and calling everyone else now. Don’t do anything stupid. Bye.” She hung up and I shut the phone softly trying my best to hush my sobs. Then I realized there was no point to hiding it any longer. I needed to let it out and I needed a shoulder to cry on. If anybody, the people that I loved the most should be the ones for me to turn to. I pushed the speed limit of sixty and begun speeding down the highway faster than I had ever driven in my life. I was silently cursing my life under my breath when once again thoughts about Edward and how caring and supportive he had been for me. The tugging at my chest eased a little. I decided to remain in the current state of mind, for the rest of the drive.
Coming to a stop in an almost empty parking lot, I shut off the engine and stepped out of the car. The wonderful aroma of my personal paradise immediately hit me. I kicked off my flip-flops and stepped into the sand as I shut my eyes. I squeezed my toes with each step I took, enjoying the feeling of the soft white sand rubbing against my tired feet. The salty breeze pushed my hair back out of my face as I inhaled deeply. I felt at peace, but at the same time so alive. All my sense were ultra aware of their interactions at the moment, but that’s always what happened whenever I went to the beach. That’s why I always come here to think or whenever I’m having a hard time with just about anything.
I walked over to our special spot, Aligelabellie Rock. Yes, lame name I know, but it was our base, our location ever since we were six. I smiled remembering the countless memories this spot held as I sat down at the very edge of the rocky boulder. Looking out into the fading sun I could feel the tears begin to trickle down my cheeks again, for the fifth time for the day. Ever since I was five, I never went a day without crying, absolute truth. Sometimes I cried about my parents, but most of the time, I cried for myself. Alice, Rosalie, and Angela…they were the only ones that ever made anything the least bit right in my life. Time and time again, I would come here and lay my head on Alice’s lap, while Rosalie would hold my hand, and Angela would brush my hair out of my tear-streaked face. I could be vulnerable to them, to a deep extent, but then of course, there was always that thin wall that preserved some of my sanity. The part of me I could never get the courage or the will to show them.
I placed my chin in between my knees, hugging my legs tightly as I closed my eyes and let the breeze settle in around my fragile body. Breathe in through the nose and out through the mouth, out through the mouth and in through the nose. I must have been in this position for a long time, because the next thing I knew I could here the sound of tires squealing to a stop from behind me. Alice. The sound of a door opened and shut quickly. I kept still, unfazed by the footsteps that were quickly approaching.
Alice sighed and shuffled her way up the rock. I felt an arm around my shoulders and welcomed the heat around my neck as I snuggled my head into her neck.
“What happened hun?” She whispered. I didn’t know how to explain at first. Where would I start? It was silent for a while before I could muster a reply.
“I don’t understand the human body,” I said. She chuckled suddenly.
“What are you talking about silly?” She asked. I turned to face her full on.
“I get that we’re seventy percent water, but I don’t understand how my body can continue making tears at such a demanding rate.” I turned my head towards the sea once more.
“You’d think I would have run out by now,” I barely whispered. It was silent for a while as Alice tightened her embrace on me, while massaging my hand. This is something she always did when she wanted to comfort me.
“You don’t have to tell me what happened if you don’t want to,” she said. I flipped my head abruptly and looked straight in the eye.
“What do you mean? Of course I want to tell you,” I replied confused. Why would my best friend ever think that for even a second? Her eyes became teary all of the sudden and I could feel my heart sink, her sorrow becoming my own.
“I-I feel like I’m losing you Bella,” she squeaked as she began to bawl freely. She hugged me tightly, throwing her head over my shoulders. I held her even tighter, trying to choke back the sobs. I could feel her shaking against my chest. I patted her back softly.
“Don’t ever say that again,” I whispered. “Don’t even think that!” I said more forcefully pulling away from her and lifting her chin up so I could see her eyes. “Why ?” I asked. Her lovely hazel eyes were deliberating. From what I saw, she was sad, scared even.
“I don’t know Bella, lately…it just seems like…you’ve lost interest, in…living,” she finished so quietly that if I wasn’t paying attention I wouldn’t have caught the end. “Is it me? Is it Rose, Ange, Anthony?” She continued. Even I could hear her heart beating faster than it should be. What have I done? Before I could answer her or myself, a bright light flashed in the distance. Alice and I both looked towards the parking lot.
It was an unfamiliar vehicle, a brand new blood red mustang. The door was slightly propped open, but no one got out. The mirror light was on. The driver was a man and he was speaking to the girl that was sitting in the front. I could only hear faint whispering.
Alice sighed in unison with me as soon as Rosalie stepped out, followed by Angela from the back. The man remained sitting in the car.
“Bells!” They yelled. The were running full speed towards us. For a while I guess I forgot they were coming. For a while I forgot about the rest of the world, surprise, surprise.
“Sorry we’re late,” Rose said panting.
“Alice called and Rosalie had to come pick me up and she was-Emmett’s house-and we’re late-traffic,” Angela continued before finally looking up. I think Alice and my condition were what made her stop talking. I could only imagine how much of a mess both of us were.
“Oh guys I’m so sorry!” Angela screeched throwing her arms around both of us. Rosalie looked at us wearily. There was a hint of embarrassment in her expression as she joined us. I could tell by her attire that something had been interrupted. I was immediately repulsed by the thought. Things just couldn’t get any worse at this point. Rosalie pulled away shortly, facing me.
“What’s going on Bells? Is it Charlie again?” She asked. I could only manage a weak nod. “Oh honey,” she sighed, wrapping her hands around my head and hugging me tightly to her chest.
“What did he do?” Angela whispered with hatred seeping through her voice. I turned my head away from all of them, turning towards the setting sun that was growing fainter by the second. Why did I feel so ashamed? How could it hurt this much?
“He hit me,” I barely whispered. From behind me, I could hear several gasps and a very angry Alice swearing at the top of her lungs. She turned my body towards her, examining me, probably looking for any mark of where he might have hit me.
I was still lost in my own world. While they were angry, I felt…nothing, empty. I was at a lost for words, thoughts, actions. I just continued staring out into the ocean. It was so beautiful, unlike so many things in life. Here it stood, serene and loved by all creatures alike, a lifeline, a way of life, and so…beautiful, just so beautiful.
“He has no reason to love me,” I said suddenly. Their stressed exchange between one another immediately stopped. Alice’s hand felt limp in mine.
“How can you say that Bella? You’ve never done anything but love him, put up with him even!” Angela yelled.
“It doesn’t make a difference,” I said turning to look at all of them. The expressions held a mixture of grief, worry, and anger. “All he’s ever going to think of me as is a spoiled little brat, who doesn’t care about anyone but herself,” I finished.
“How is that even minutely relevant?” Alice screeched. I could swear her eyes were bulging out of their sockets.
“He has no right to be angry at you! If anything he should be worried that you’re angry at him!” Rosalie said, backing up Alice.
“I know he doesn’t, that besides the point! You guys just don’t get it do you?” I yelled throwing my hands in the air. They stared at me in shock and confusion at my sudden outburst. I decided that there wasn’t any going back now.
“That’s all anyone sees me as, a spoiled brat. The second someone sees me, they think, wow that a hot piece of bimbo ass! AND NOTHING ELSE! Do you know how much I’m sick of it? I don’t want any of it, any of this! I don’t want people to notice me, I don’t want to have anything to do with other peoples problems, I just want to go crawl into a hole and hide!” I paced as I screamed at the top of my lungs while everyone stared at me dumbfounded. “I don’t want to be me! I’m ashamed to be me.” I choked out as I began to sob. “No one will think twice about getting to know the real me,” I whispered bitterly. I slid off the rock at this point and walked towards the quiet swooshing shore. My feet slightly recoiled at the cold, wet sand. I moved forward once again letting my toes barely touch the water. I stood limp, feeling nothing, still nothing. I could hear the girls following behind me. They flanked me on the sides, staring out into the beauty that I stared at now.
“You know none of that is true Bella,” Rosalie whispered.
“Don’t give me that bull Rose. I see the way people look at me. I’ve HEARD what think about me,” I said harshly. I could feel tiny hands taking mine into their own. Angela hugged me around my waist from behind me, placing her chin on my shoulder.
“You know that we’ll never think of you that way right? You know we’ll love you for who you are, not matter what happens?” She asked.
“No one has a right to judge you that way,” Alice added.
“Just remember, the people that matter don’t care and the people that care, don’t matter,” Rose agreed. I burst out laughing all of a sudden.
“You’re such a dork Rose,” I said hitting her playfully.
“Why are you feeling this way all of a sudden?” Angela asked. I shut my eyes at her words, reminding myself that these were my sisters. They would forgive me no matter what.
“It didn’t start just now,” I replied shyly.
“What?” Rose asked, raising her voice slightly. “What’s that supposed to mean?” She continued, eying me accusingly.
“I’ve felt this way for…as long as I can remember,” I replied.
“Why are you telling us this just now?” Angela asked in a confused voice.
“I…I’m sorry, I don’t know why,” I finished. ”I guess it was just something that I never wanted to admit even though I knew how true it was.”
“Everything will be okay Bella,” Alice said.
“I thought we told each other everything,” Rose said, more to herself. “No more secrets please?” I thought about that for a moment. I felt anxious all of a sudden, realizing what exactly I would be promising.
“There’s something you need to know Rose,” I said. She looked at me in surprise. I couldn’t do this to my friend. Even if it would hurt her, I had to tell her.
“It’s about Anthony,” I said. The other girls nodded their heads knowingly. It was then that I remembered he was still waiting in the parking lot. “He should probably leave, it’s not appropriate to talk about this with him here,” I finished. Her face was blank and I couldn’t tell if she was angry or confused.
“We should probably just go to my house, it’s getting cold outside. We’ll talk there,” Angela added. Each of us looked at one another, measuring our responses in our eyes. We finally nodded in agreement. I started to walk away and head to my car. Angela followed behind me, as did Alice. Rosalie ran towards what I assumed was Anthony’s car.
After a brief exchange, he sped off immediately. Rose started towards us. She seemed puzzled and at the same time dejected.
“Rose, you’re riding with me.” I called to her, pulling my keys out of my pocket and opening the door.
“Yes, Bella,” She replied simply.
“Ride with me Ange,” Alice said from behind me. Climbing into the car, I could hear a faint whimpering from the back of the car. I spun around quickly. Rose’s eyes were red and teary. Her lips trembled slightly.
“He’s using me isn’t he,” She croaked. “I’m not just in denial?” I froze, unsure of how to react. She climbed over the chair, positioning herself awkwardly in the front seat. I placed my hand on her back, while she continued to stare blankly into the night.
“He wouldn’t know a great girl if she popped up in front of him, with it tattooed on her forehead.”
BTW I would just like to say, I am incredibly upset that Leah will not be any part of the making of “New Moon.” I’ve never really given much thought to Leah’s story till I read this really great fanfic called Bring Me Heartache by secondhandsmile. Wonderful story, made me cry. It now makes me sad to see she won’t be in New Moon, as little a part she is I think that her story is a crucial part to the understanding of just how strong imprinting can be and how cruel it is at the same time.
And there you go! E/B to come!
Thanks for reading R&R! I’ll try to update more often now.
-tlmExplanation: I apologize it’s taken me longer than usual to update. Part of it has to do with a temporary writers block on the ending of this chapter and part of it had to do with me being so busy with school and soccer. I had 3 games last week and then this weekend I had a game, sleepover, church and had to teach (kindergarten class for religious education) and on MLK Day spent the day with my boyfriend and family/watched kids inauguration special on Disney channel!... and then two days ago I just had my drama showcase and now I have a huge bruise from when I kicked a chair and couldn’t practice the next day…Ehem…anyways, here you go and I made it extra long just for you guys cause you’re awesome like that! R&R! Hope you like!
Thanks to my beta Felineyx, who makes life easier :)!
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