Before There was Bella
In the stories, Bella was Edwards first and only love. But what if he had been in love, and married, before Carlisle changed him. What would happen if he completely forgot about her, but years later came across her in a hospital, old and dying, after marrying and turning Bella. And what if he suddenly remembered his feelings for this woman. And how would this effect Bella?
This just came to me on a whim. I'm not sure how great it is, so please give me some feedback! Thanks! Only Teen to be safe, by the way.
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I couldn’t believe this. Who was this woman? I had never seen her before. So why was he there, looking at her with so much love in his eyes? I know I had seen that look before. He looked at me like that. This was not good.
I ran as fast as I could toward the line of the forest. I could feel my eyes filling with venom that would never fall as tears. And then a feeling that seemed familiar, but still distant, began nagging at my un-beating heart. It took me a moment to fully realize what this was. And then I remembered. My old nightmares, so full of absolutely nothing. Edward’s eyes as he left me in the forest. Leaning huddled against the edge of my bed, shaking, sobbing, curled up in a ball. The suicidal thoughts that came and went. It was hurt and abandonment. The memories might be murky with humanity, but the feelings were anything but. They were clear, sharp, and cut through my soul like a razor would through human flesh.
It took me moments to process this, and it wasn’t long before I was deep into the forest. And then I collapsed. I hadn’t thought it possible for vampires to collapse, but apparently, I didn’t know anything anymore. This morning, I never would have believed that Edward would be in love with anyone else. For I knew that he must be. There was no mistaking his gentle gaze and his tender kiss to her hand. Those were things he did for me when I was hurt and human. And now he had another human, and a damned old one at that, to take care of. Maybe that was it all along. Maybe he had just been infatuated with my humanity.
My body was racked with aching sobs. No tears would come from my eyes; instead they burned with the venom that I could see was a curse. I wouldn’t be able to live through this again. But now I had little choice. I wouldn’t die with time. And Alice would keep me form copying what Edward did when he went to Volterra. I was stuck. And for the rest of eternity, I would see that room every time I closed my eyes. Every time I saw his face. Every time I saw an old woman. My pain would be everywhere.
“How could you?” Bella’s voice broke through the rooms silence.
I could barely turn quick enough to see her turn and sprint from the room. I could tell that I had shattered her. The look of hurt in her eyes had confirmed that, even in the few milliseconds that I had caught them. More than that though, they had me rooted to the spot. That pain-I remembered the look of that pain from the memories of all those who had seen when I had left those many years ago. That pain scared me. What had I done to my beloved Bella?
I dropped my head to my hands and silently cursed myself. I had allowed myself to get caught up in the past, and had not been aware enough to pay attention to the thoughts that people in the hospital had. If I had remembered this, I would have seen her coming here. And she wouldn’t know about this. She wouldn’t be in any pain. What kind of monster was I?
A monster more terrible than I had thought. Here I was, feeling sorry for myself, when I should be going after her. I wouldn’t be able to catch her if she didn’t want me to. She had too much of a head start. But I had to try! I rose from Melinda’s bedside, vowing to come back before she was taken off of life support, but only after I had reached Bella. Only after I had made things right would I come back here.
I all but flew from the room with my haste to find Bella. Her scent, even as a vampire, was still so strong for me, that her trail was not hard to follow. Even moving at my full speed through the crowded hospital couldn’t distract me from her scent. I made my way out of the hospital, and into the parking lot, where her scent had led into the forest. And from there it went deeper, into the forest’s heart. And then I could hear her.
She was sobbing. It was such a heartbreaking sound that I came to an immediate halt. Even if she couldn’t cry as a human could, her weeping was beyond any comparison. Has she been mortal, everything would have been soaked through with her tears. Never would I want to see anything like this again. Especially not from her-my love, my angel.
I eventually moved my dragging feet closer to where the sobs were coming from. I moved slowly so as not to startle her. That was the last thing I wanted. I knew I would be able to overtake her if she ran again, but I still did not want to have to force her to stop running. I’d rather she stay because that was what she wanted. It didn’t take long to have her within my sights. If hearing her was terrible, seeing her crying so much, so hard, was unbearable. I couldn’t resist my urge to run to her any longer.
Bella hadn’t been aware of my presence until I did lose my control and began to run. She whipped around and came to stand in front of me, with a look of utter hurt. But that wasn’t all that I saw on her face. Resentment, fear, even anger all had their place in her eyes and the was that she set her jaw.
“How. Could. You?” Three simple words. How was it that it was always three little words that made everything so complicated?
“Bella, let me explain. That woman, Melinda,”
“Save it. Leave me alone Edward. Go back to your precious lover. Good-bye,” I could tell that her effort to sound strong was killing her. She didn’t mean anything that she was saying. This much, at least, reassured me. I would have a chance to explain myself, at the very least.
“Love, you don’t understand. What you saw,” I didn’t get a chance to finish my sentence before her open palm connected with my jaw. I hadn’t even seen it coming, and before I could fully register what had happened she was on the other side of the clearing, attempting to suppress a growl.
“You come here, not to apologize for shattering me, but to explain why you are choosing a human over me? I thought you said you loved me, Edward!” And at this she sank to the ground, her body rocking back in forth in her misery. “Why am I not enough for you Edward? I love you. Don’t you see that?”
I slowly walked over to where she sat hunched over and wrapped my arms around her. How was it that I seemed destined to put this wonderful creature through such torment? I didn’t deserve her smacking me; she should have pulled me to pieces and burned me to ashes right then and there.
“Bella, love, please, let me explain,” I whispered to her as I stroked her hair and cradled her in my arms, “once you hear what I have to say then you can be mad at me. Please give me the benefit of the doubt?”
She didn’t respond, so I took that as her invitation to continue. I told her everything, about how I was so confused about how my family was keeping their thoughts muddled, how I had found out without any warning about my past, even about remembering my life before being turned. I attempted to apologize for not calling her the instant I found out, but she once again surprised me with her reaction.
“So let me get this straight. You were married. And had a kid. And that was…a really long time ago. And that old woman is your other wife. Great. Now I’m the other woman. You know, you could have warned me that we were having an adulterous relationship when I married you as well!”
At this I chuckled and snuggled closer to her. How could I have ever doubted for one single moment that I could ever love anyone more than I loved my Bella right at this moment?