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Cries of a Dead Heart

Summary:
She lost her meaning for life.
Everything has gone so wrong in her life, lately.
When she meets the Cullens can they help her find a meaning to live, and even a family?
Or will she find love in all the wrong places? I have a majority of this story writtenthe more reviews I get the faster the next chapters will go up :]


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“Edward, what did Alice see?” she asked, like she didn’t even want to know the answer.
I don’t think I really wanted to know either.
The whole room, including me went into shock at the sound of one word.

“Wolves” he whispered.
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Banner made by yours truly "] (that would be me)

ATTENTION: I am very excited to announce that i am done with this story "]
as soon as it is all posted i will be up in the 10 longest stories
EXCITING
Anyhoo I am starting the sequel
It's called 'Healing a Dead Heart'
the only way you will get it is if you REVIEW
thanks "]


Notes:
It starts out slow, but get to reading it, and you'll be wanting more. All of my friends that have read loved it, but refuse to help me finish it. haha


1. On my own

Rating 5/5   Word Count 3769   Review this Chapter

 

 

 

Starring in the mirror felt odd. My dark brown hair now sported burgundy steaks and flowed inches past my small shoulders. I only ever wore blue jeans, and polo shirts, but my style just darkened to adding a little deeper eyeliner and darker shirts. This is my new look, my new home, my new life. Life without him is going to be excruciating. Part of me is still pondering the whole Volturi suicide deal, but I knew he would be very angry with me right now if he knew what was going through my head, if he were even alive that is.

I sucked in a deep breath, and finished my hair. I was now more edgier, darker hair, and definitely darker moods. But I’m alone now so why should I even try. I don't even have my family. they would freak out if I just came up on their doorstep after 'dying' nine year ago. I knew this day would come. That one day he would leave or die. It would have been nice to have spent longer with him, but he gave me him, for even the shortest amount of time, so i couldn't complain. He was all I ever hoped for, but it ended too soon. And I thought that maybe, just maybe we would get a few centuries together, but I'm not that lucky. Never have been. Never will be.

"Chill out C.J." I muttered to myself as I bent over and picked up my purse from the floor. Since I really didn't have any reason to be at home sulking in my own misery I decided to enroll in school. Meet some people who I would sooner or later never see again. No school is good, it's one more thing to help me keep my mind off of him, at however long I could actually do that for. However it would have probably helped had I fed sooner, I thought to myself, noticing my eyes getting darker in color. They aren't dark enough to notice, just to make me irritable, and my thirst just a little harder to control. I'll just put on my best face and act like I want to be there.

I walked out of my empty house taking one last look at it before I left for the day. It was very nice, simple, white and elegant. Everything I had dreamed of, too bad it just wasn't the life I dreamed of. I stepped into my car quickly before I could become even more depressed, if that were even possible. Ha, who's ever even heard of a depressed vampire? But I did bend most rules. I was one of the now smaller population of 'vegetarian vampires'. That's what he called himself. I was still basically a monster, but I didn't harm people, just the same as him. It seems that no matter what I think about, the end conclusion always ends on something about him. Noticing that made the spot where my heart should be twist in agony. It I were human I would be sobbing uncontrollably. Maybe it's too soon to be on school. Maybe I could just wait another year. The thought of just ending all the pain was so overwhelming it actually frightened me. But there was no reason to go on. There is no reason for life anymore. I'm basically already dead. I killed my soul to spend eternity with him. I let him make me like this because I thought he would always be by my side. The thought never crossed my mind that on day i would have to be without him. I shoved my key in, and cranked the ignition in the same swift movement. I will try to make it. I will try to go on. I need school right now. I need to think straight, and make sure this is really what I want. I slammed down on the gas and took off down the narrow dirt road running to the highway.

My car was simple, but enough to stand out in the parking lot aside from the red thunderbird I chose to park next to. I had a convertible top black Mercedes Benz. It was efficient, but he always wanted me to get something with more power like his Porsche. But I was very happy with my car. I silently scolded myself. I should try harder not to let my thoughts trail in that direction, the end conclusion is always painful, and I don't know how exactly I would explain my reactions if the memories got too bad. I've never been very good at hiding my emotions.

The scent hit me hard when I stepped into to office. I really haven’t been around humans in a while, I thought meekly. Maybe I should have thought of that ahead of time. I quickly grabbed my compact mirror out of my purse, to study my eyes, They hadn't darkened that much, but I definitely needed to hunt when I got out of school. I could last that long. At least I hope so.

The woman named Ms. Cope, sitting behind the tall desk, handed me my schedule while eyeing me skeptically, like she was afraid, but then suddenly smiled.

"I'll just need you to get this signed by all of your teachers, and bring it to me at the end of the day" she perked "Have a great day, I know you'll love Forks high School"

"Ok, thanks" I smiled as nicely as I could manage, restraining the urge to pounce on her, and stepped out of the office with my newly acquired schedule in my binder tucked under my arm. I walked around until I saw the building I was suppose to be in. I walked at a human pace to my first class. I had quickly glanced at my schedule, since I was in a hurry, and couldn't get to class in time without making a scene or causing suspicion. That’s the last thing I need right now. I walked into the small musty classroom, and immediately hated my enhanced senses. The room smelt strong of cheap cologne, mixed with chalk, and B.O. I covered the disgusted look on my face, as I turned to face my classmates. They were pretty average looking kids, just pale and cold. I walked over and handed my paper to the teacher who introduced himself as Mr. Latiner. He pointed out a desk far in the back of the room, and I gracefully made my way down the aisle feeling the stares penetrate into the back of my head. I sat between a semi-good looking boy and a wide window. He had ocean blue eyes, and black hair tousled in every direction.

I quickly averted my eyes to my schedule.

Class Teacher Rm

1st Literature: The Basics Latiner 504

2nd Biology Banner 302

3rd Algebra 2 Jordan 101

4th Art History Alvarez 502

Lunch

5th Geography Conner 212

6th P.E. Kennedy GYM

I froze, OH CRAP!

I can't take P.E. I definitely wouldn't be able to blend in there. I have to change this before the end of the day.

"Hey" I looked over, it was the dark-haired boy sitting next to me speaking. I flashed him a smile. He looked me up and down seeming to appraise me. He smiled when he looked back up to my face. I was extremely uncomfortable. I gave him a half-smile looking quickly back at my desk. I knew exactly what was going through his head, it was written all over his face.

"I'm Zack" He beamed at me when I looked back at him. I thought about answering him for a second, and figured it couldn't do much harm.

"I'm C.J." I whispered. He stared at me confused.

"My real name is actually Cameron-Jade" I clarified "But I go as C.J."

He nodded, and looked impressed, which was odd. Great, I thought, I have my first admirer. I knew it was going to happen, I just didn't think anyone would actually pursue their interest. The bell finally rang after an agonizing ninety minutes. I heard two girls talking about 'the new girl' as I bent over to pick up my purse. They were about five desks away, and were certain that I couldn't hear them. Which only made it all the more hilarious.

"I swear Jane, if that new chick even looks at Brian" she shivered in anger "I'll rip her head off"

I would love to see her try that one.

Walking towards the front of the row I heard the brunette girl 'Jane' respond.

"I don't think she will be interested in Brian, Kim" Jane muttered "It looks like she's already got more than him swooning over her". Well apparently Brian was in this class with us.

Suddenly, a blonde boy about six feet tall walked towards me. I stole a glance over at the girl Kim. She was glaring daggers at me. Apparently this is Brian. He wasn’t very bad looking actually, but it’s not like I was going to get involved with a human. I knew better than that. Kim doesn’t have to worry about the new girl. I couldn’t help chuckling when I thought of her empty threat. I saw a huge smile spread across his face, and realized that he had mistaken my humor as flirting. Not good. Kim’s glare on me deepened, and she walked over to stand beside him, about three feet away. He was obviously on the football team. He had on a huge letterman jacket, and I could tell he was semi-built.

“Hey new girl” Kim sneered at me. I glanced at her quickly.

“It‘s C.J.” I tried very hard to stay serious, and keep from laughing at the expression on her face. I think she actually wanted me to be afraid of the face she was making at me. If I was human I might have been a little intimidated. Probably not. She just looked like she was sucking on a lemon. The blonde guy just looked at me like I was the most interesting thing he’s seen all day, maybe even ever. Oh imagine that.

“Hey I‘m Brian” he said, as if oblivious to the pure hatred radiating off of the small girl standing next to him.

This is going to fun, I thought to myself.

“Hey Brian” I put on my best flirty face “I‘m C.J.” He seemed appalled that a girl of my standards would be attracted to him. Too bad I’m not really. I quickly dodged around them snickering under my breath. I really shouldn’t do that to people, but that girl was making it too easy, and entertaining. My next class was two buildings down. Hopefully I didn’t have any more classes with either of them. I really, really hope not.

My next class -Biology- was my best subject. I was very grateful of that. The room was rather small with little charts attached to the walls around the room. One I distinctly remember as a diagram of a flatworm - gross. I quickly walked over and handed the teacher my schedule. He signed it and made me actually introduce myself to the class. Oh yay. I hate attention.

“My name is Cameron-Jade Byers” I announced “but, call me C.J. that‘s what I go by”. I got many varieties of looks from around the room. Hatred glares, curious stares, and the ever most popular dazzled expression. I held in a chuckle as I saw one guy in the front row drop his jaw. I bet they’ve never had to deal with anything like me. I quickly averted my eyes to the floor and moved swiftly towards my seat, trying to force the stares off of me with my mind. It didn’t work. I was about two feet from my desk when the air cut on and swirled the air around the room. That’s when I smelt it. The strangest smell I’ve ever encountered in my entire life, an odd mix like it had both vampire AND human in their blood. I couldn’t pick out who it was coming from, and I knew I looked like an idiot just standing there inhaling this strange odor. Of course nobody else could smell it. I heard a low growl and immediately went into a defensive pose without thinking.

“Um excuse me” I now recognized Mr. Banner’s voice, looking at me like I had gone crazy, and I realized the noise was coming from me. I straightened myself back up and closed the few steps to my desk sitting down next to a fairly small girl. She had straight long blonde hair and an expression like she smelt something bad. I don’t think me and my lab partner are going to be the best of friends. But I decided to be nice anyways.

“Hi, I‘ve taken this class before so you don‘t have to worry about me getting you a bad grade” I smiled. She looked at me confused, and for a moment I actually thought she was going to be friendly, but quickly covered her face in a bitter mask.

“I know what kind of person you are” she snapped “I‘ve seen ‘em all before. Just don‘t mess with my boyfriend, Alex, and I might consider not making this the worst teenage years of your life. I run this school, so don‘t cross me” she concluded her little rant with the same twisted expression, mixed with her being pleased with herself that she ‘stood up’ to the new girl. Like that would be the worst of my problems. If only she knew my teenage years had been and gone, while she was still trying to learn the alphabet.

“I‘ll do my best” I stiffled a laugh as I turned my attention towards the front of the room. I could tell it pissed her off, I could literally feel her fuming next to me, but she didn’t say anything more.

I moved my binder to the double desk I shared with the ‘Spawn of Satan’, and began taking notes. The class wasn’t hard at all to keep up with, but that’s probably because I’ve taken it before. The bell finally rang letting us go. I let her get a head start so I didn’t have a chance of running into her in the hallway. When I stood up I smelt it again. I looked towards the front of the class, and saw what the smell was coming from. She was standing in front of the air conditioning and laughing with one other girl I presumed as her friend. She had long dark bronze curls that ran down to her waist, and dark brown eyes. She looked at me, confusion filling her face, then her eyes widened in panic. Did she know what I was?

“Umm Karen I got to go” I heard her speak to her friend, quickly dodging out of the room. Her friend walked out after her, and I just stood there looking like an idiot. Who was she, and more importantly what was she? I received many curious glances while just standing there. I quickly ran out of the room at a human’s pace. What was this world coming to? I thought, leaning against the side of the building, outside.

“Hey you’re the new girl right?” I heard a female voice from behind me. Great, this was about to begin. The ‘new girl nickname’. When no matter if that person knew your name or not that’s what you were considered. It sucks. I spun around quickly ready to see a hatred expression upon her face, but it wasn’t. She was actually smiling at me. I recognized her face, but where from I’m not sure. She waas very short , had straight black hair, and was almost as pale as me.

“Ummm yeah” I studdered “Why are you being nice to me?” she chuckled.

“Oh. I suppose most girls here wouldn‘t be nice to you” she quickly apologized when she thought she said something hurtful “What I mean is that they feel threatened by you being here, I‘m Karen”. I quickly filled in the blanks. This was the girl that was talking to that…..thing, whatever she was.

“Who was you‘re friend…the one that left just a few minutes ago?”

“That‘s Nessa” she said quickly “She started here two years ago”. So she started as a freshman. I suppose I should have done that, but I don’t think I could pull it off. It would have given me more time here. But her. She looked older, and if she had vampire in her than more than likely she looked like that as a freshman.

“We‘re going to be late” she broke through my thoughts. I noticed I was about three minutes from being late to Algebra. I sped off down the sidewalks as fast as a human possibly could, and was there before the bell rang. The rest of the day flew by in a blur, still nobody talked to me. I got a few glares, and a couple of guys got near to asking me out, but I always dodged around them before they could speak. Karen was nice to me, and I sat next to her in lunch, but I assumed that it was only because her friend had left early.

Next class was gym. I quickly wrote a note and walked swiftly to the office. The room smelt like TV dinners and cheap take out. It made me feel a little sick. I quickly walked up to the woman standing behind the desk and handed her my note. She took it and quickly scanned her eyes over it. She sat down in the office chair, and picked up a think binder beside the computer, shoving the note in and looking back up at me.

“Ok sweetie, it says you have very bad asthma, and that‘s why you can‘t participate in P.E.” she said like I didn’t know what I wrote “So I can put you in foreign language, but not art, too many chemicals”. I nodded.

“Umm Spanish or Italian” I asked. She looked down at her computer screen. I saw her click a little icon and type in my name on what looked like a class role. She smiled at me and handed me a new piece of paper. Wow that was easier than I thought it would have been.

“And Ms. Cope” I’m going to try this dazzling thing. She looked at me puzzled “My mom needs my help unpacking our things. Can I leave early?” I lied so easily, I couldn't even believe it. Ms. Cope looked shocked.

“Ummm” she looked around the office, looking for backup it looked like “Well since there is only one class left. I guess it wouldn‘t do much harm. But this is the only time I‘m letting you do this” I smiled and nodded.

“Thank you” I walked out of the office quickly wanting to feel the cold outside air on my skin. Being in that room made me feel claustrophobic.

I jumped into my car without looking back. I thought that being at school would help me get my mind off of him, but it didn’t. It didn’t help at all. Everything I did led to a thought, that led to a thought, that led to a thought, that would sooner or latter end up on him. Maybe, I should go to the Volturi. What reason would they have at turning me down? There isn’t anything special about me. I looked at my eyes quickly in the mirror, they were black as night. Great, I really hope nobody noticed. I pulled into my driveway a few minutes later, and saw something taped to my door. I wonder what that could be. After cutting the engine and grabbing my newly acquired books, I hoped up the stairs, and snatched the note off the door. It was typed.

C.J. -

I know what you are.

-anonymous

I froze up. I couldn’t move. This couldn’t be happening.

Next thing I know I’ll be sitting in my home, and look out to see dozens of people with pitchforks and torches. It’s not like they could actually hurt me, but I don’t want to have to hurt any of them either.

Who could this be, and more importantly what could they want? I don’t have the time or the luck to find out.

I have to leave.

I ran inside, with the note tucked under my arm. This is aggravating. I just got settled in and someone thinks they can run me from my home. I’m not going down without a fight. Whoever this was, didn’t want me to know who they were though. Maybe if I was lucky it would be a human, and I could just kill them. That thought disgusted me the minute it registered. I was not a monster, and I won’t hurt anyone, unless I have to. I can settle this in a way, that doesn’t have to involve me leaving too, hopefully. But until then I’m not staying here.

I quickly ran upstairs and threw my items from school onto the bed. I snatched up the letter and read it over and over until, it just became a blur.

I know what you are…

I shoved the letter into my jewelry box, and pulled out my ring, sliding it onto my left ring finger. I studied it, it sparkled so brightly it almost hurt to look at it. Ten small diamonds nestled into a golden plate, and a thin band wrapping smoothly around my finger. It had seemed like forever ago that he’d given it to me. Leaving this house, I would leave all of the memories it held. His scent still lingered in here…along with another one.

I stiffened. They were in my house.

Whoever it was, was not human that was for sure, but I couldn’t tell what they were. The scent was so old. It was hours ago that they were here. I quickly ran down the stairs, searching through the house to see if I could find a fresher trail.

Nothing. Whoever it was, was very sneaky. And tricky. I ran out to my car quickly jumping in and cranking it. Whatever I was doing next didn’t matter, right now I need to hunt.