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Cries of a Dead Heart

Summary:
She lost her meaning for life.
Everything has gone so wrong in her life, lately.
When she meets the Cullens can they help her find a meaning to live, and even a family?
Or will she find love in all the wrong places? I have a majority of this story writtenthe more reviews I get the faster the next chapters will go up :]


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“Edward, what did Alice see?” she asked, like she didn’t even want to know the answer.
I don’t think I really wanted to know either.
The whole room, including me went into shock at the sound of one word.

“Wolves” he whispered.
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Banner made by yours truly "] (that would be me)

ATTENTION: I am very excited to announce that i am done with this story "]
as soon as it is all posted i will be up in the 10 longest stories
EXCITING
Anyhoo I am starting the sequel
It's called 'Healing a Dead Heart'
the only way you will get it is if you REVIEW
thanks "]


Notes:
It starts out slow, but get to reading it, and you'll be wanting more. All of my friends that have read loved it, but refuse to help me finish it. haha


5. Déjà vu

Rating 0/5   Word Count 3641   Review this Chapter

I twisted around on my heel, and took off out the door. I didn’t really care where I was going, so I would just run. This is insane. Can’t anything about my life be normal? Really? I’ve never heard of anything like this before, in my life. I just find out that I’m basically the biggest freak of the vampire world….Not too fun. I half assumed I would hear Edward behind me by now, but was relieved that he understood, and gave me the space I needed. Feeling the wind whip around my face made me feel free. Like I really didn’t have a problem in the world, but I couldn’t run forever. I stopped in front of a huge oak tree. It was easily eighty feet. I scaled it, and sat there on a branch. I looked down over the forest and realized that I had no earthly clue where I was. If I didn’t come back soon they would start searching for me, that much I was sure of. But I was hoping also that I didn’t have to face them. What kind of freak they must think I am. I punch the tree harder than I thought the impact would be. So it surprised me when I heard a crack, and the tree start to bow over. I quickly hopped to the tree to my left, and watched the massive tree hit the ground. I snapped my head back when I heard a snap behind me. Edward was sitting on the branch right behind me. I never even heard him coming. “I came only to make sure you didn’t run into any trouble” he explained hopping to the branch next to my own. Edward was always so worried about me. He was such a selfless person, always putting his family before himself. I sighed and leaned back against the tree trunk. “How did you know where I would be?” I asked him closing my eyes. It sounded like he moved, but I didn’t bother opening my eyes to see. “I usually scale trees too when I’m upset” he chuckled. “I’m sorry for running away like that” I whispered. I felt him grab my arm, and opened my eyes to see him staring at me. “Don’t be ridiculous. You just found out something that would have easily sent any of the others over the edge”. “Is it really that bad?” I mumbled looking down at me hands. My vile evil hands. If I couldn’t touch I never would have been in this mess. Maybe I should just cut them off… “You are to do no such thing” I snatched my gaze away from my hands. Edward was looking scornfully at me. Stupid, mind-reader. “Do we have to go home now?” “No…” “Good. I don’t think I’m ready to face your family just yet”. “C.J. they do not think bitter of you just because you were freaked out. It’s a rational response”. Was he honestly trying to convince me that I’m not a freak? I knew they were going to be angry with the way I just tore off like that. He hopped up, his feet landing perfectly on the branch. He didn’t even lose balance. Typical. “But since we are pretty far out…we don’t need to stay long” He said grabbing my hand and standing me up. “Speaking of which…where exactly are we?” I shifted my body to get a better view of the forest around me. I looked up to see Edward looking at me skeptically. Why wouldn’t he want to tell me where we are? “Edward where are we?” Maybe he just didn’t know…? He sighed. “We are in Walla Walla” he said, I stiffened. My instincts had brought me back here? My mom is just a few miles away… “No. You know you can’t” Edward broke through my thoughts. “I know Edward. I just…I guess I just wish I could see her again” He understood. He grabbed my arm, and we jumped from the branch landing gracefully on the forest floor. I was expecting him to head in the direction of home, but he didn’t. “Edward…what’s going on?” I asked him. Really what was his deal today. I was starting to wish I could read his mind. He smiled. “I’m being stupid letting you do this…but we can’t be seen by her, no matter what. Got it?” I hopped up and down squealing. I can’t believe he was actually going to let me see my mom, after all these years. I grabbed him in a hug. “AHHHH Edward you are the best” He laughed. “So I’ve been told” he said unleashing me. “I have to hunt first” I said pointing to my eyes. He nodded. We ran through the forest until we ran into a pack of mule. Odd. I leapt on the back of one, devouring it instinctively. I couldn’t possibly do it if I thought about what I was doing. I stood and wiped off the dead leaves. Edward chuckled, and grabbed my face to look him in the eyes. “Much better” I slapped his hand away, and looked down. “Ok let’s go” He pointed the way, and we turned, taking off towards the city. The city was just the way I remembered it. Like it hadn’t changed a bit, in all the years. It was kind of relieving. “I have my phone, just in case we get recognized. Well in case you get recognized” Edward said. I nodded, and we walked down the sidewalks through the neighborhood. I could find my way to my mother with a blindfold on. Her house was just one block away, and I started getting nervous, I could feel my stomach dropping with every step I took. Edward stopped. “Are you going to be ok?” he asked. I nodded. I started to walk on, but he grabbed my arm, and held up one finger for me to give him a second. He snatched out his phone, and punched a number. He whipped it to his ear as soon as the person picked up. “Carlisle” he stuttered. Since when did he stutter? “We are in Walla Walla……I know that this is where her mother is……we aren‘t going to be long…….just come with Bella…….ok bring your Mercedes”. he hit the end button and slid it back into his pocket. “I just wanted him to bring the car….It’s faster than running” he explained. I nodded. That made sense. I guess it was better than running all the way home. We walked at a human’s pace. Not so much to not stand out, as to build up my courage. I didn’t think I would be this nervous, but I haven’t seen my mom in so many years. I saw the house come up into plain sight, and gasped. It was exactly the same. The little old brick house, and the little yellow porch swing my grandpa loved so much. I clutched at Edward’s arm. He pulled me forward. I was just going to look through the window anyway, it’s not like I have to face my mother again. He pulled me into the thick shrubs that were just outside the family room window. They were big enough to block our images from the road, and passers. I looked in the window. It was amazing how much older my mother looked. She looked like she was in her eighty’s instead of her fifty’s. But in her defense she did lose her only child, after that only child got married. God, I feel horrible. She was sitting on the couch, with a blanket wrapped tightly around her. She looked like she hadn’t even eaten in the last nine years. I felt like I was about to start crying. I did this to my mother. She looks like this because she honestly believes that I have rotted away in a cemetery. I’m a horrible person. Nobody should have to go through this. I saw a tear escape from the corner of her eye. She stood up, and I could clearly see that she was not healthy. She walked over to the fireplace mantle, and picked up a picture. I couldn’t believe it. It was our Christmas family picture. My last one with them, before I left with Jared. The last picture of me before I became a monster for somebody I loved. “My sweet little Cammie. I miss you so” she whispered. I felt a strong urge to run in and grab her. To let her know that everything was going to be okay. Because I’m not dead, and I’m standing twenty feet from her. Edward grabbed my arm. “C.J. I’m sorry but you know you can’t do that” he was listening in on my thoughts. But I’m sure he didn’t really need to, because I was positive that the grief was written clearly across my face. I heaved out a heavy sigh. I couldn’t be here too much longer. The need to go in and hold my poor mother just once more was overbearing. Edward cupped my chin with his hand and pulled my gaze to meet his. “This C.J. is why I knew this would be a bad idea, but I also knew it would be good for you”. I heard what sounded like her heart speed up. I snatched my eyes from Edward in time to see my mother collapse to the ground.. Searing pain shot through me as I dove through the thick window. Before I knew what had happened, I was through the massive window separating us. “MOM NO” I screamed running to her. I scooped her frail body up in my arms. She looked so peaceful. This couldn’t be happening. God PLEASE DON’T LET HER DIE. I could feel her blood running cold, and I knew I had a drastic choice to make. Edward is going to be angry, but damn it this is my mother. I am not going to let her die in my arms. I leaped out the window, with Edward hot on my trail yelling at me. “C.J. YOU CANT DO THIS” I ignored him and ran faster. I burst through the emergency room doors carrying my mom in my arms. Edward gave up trying to stop me, and just tried to keep up with me. Smart choice. The doctor looked at me astonished. “Not right now” I yelled “Help her”. The doctor nodded and pulled out a stretcher, as two nurses came in. I watched them push her away. I couldn’t lose my mother. Not now. I just got to see her. She looked so weak and fragile. I almost couldn’t stay in the waiting room, but I knew I would have to face Edward sooner or later. He came over and put his hand on my back. He lead me towards a chair, and I sat. He started pacing in front of me. Ranting and mumbling something under his breath. I could have listened to what he was saying , but I didn’t think I really wanted to know. He stopped, and I looked up at him. When he took in the expression of worry on my face his anger melted away. “What’s our story going to be?” he asked finally sitting down in the chair beside me. I sighed. At least he isn’t angry with me. “C.J. I understand” I spun quickly in my seat to look at him. Did he really just say that? “I would have done the same, had it been my mother” he sighed and leaned back “Now we just have to figure out how we are going to explain this” It took me a while to come up with anything that would even be remotely believable. “Excuse me?” It was the woman behind the desk. The only thing I could thinks was ‘Great, we are dead. She recognizes me’. Edward stiffled a chuckled beside me. “She only wants you to fill out some papers” I looked at him confused. What papers? “The ones you need to permit a patient into a hospital”. Oh. I walked up to the small window, and the woman handed me a clipboard with a pen attached, and several pieces of paper. This shouldn’t be too hard. I know practically everything about my mother. “So” I whispered as I sat back down. He looked up “Our story is…” My name is Kristen, and you’re Ben. He gave me a confused look. They are my cousins names. They have never been to visit, so it’s not like anyone can call us out on it. My family use to always tell me how much me and Kristen favor each other. Anyway, we stopped by for a quick visit, and we saw her fall. I have no clue how we are going to explain the broken window. But maybe nobody will ask… He nodded. “You know you could have been a little more creative, though” he whispered over my shoulder. I looked up from the papers in my lap, and gave him a glare. “You should go call Carlisle, and tell him where we are” I said focusing back on the clipboard in front of me. I saw him stand up out of the corner of my eye, and heard the sliding doors open. A gush of wind came in as he stepped out. I finished filling out the papers, and walked back to the counter to hand them to the woman. She smiled and took them. I went and sat back down. Edward wasn’t back yet so I was free to think, without having him listen in. I was extremely worried about my mom. I never knew her to be ill, she was always healthy as a horse. She was the one who was constantly on my dad’s back about eating right. I stopped my trail of thought as I heard the sliding glass doors open. Edward came in, and sat down next to me. “Carlisle is almost here” he whispered “He said Alice had a vision, and knew where we’d be. She’s with him”. I sighed. Se probably just didn’t want to be left behind. Edward nodded. I jumped up as soon as the doctor came back into the waiting room. Edward stiffened. Not good, at all. I might not want to hear what happened after all. No. I will be strong. He approached me, and pulled his white mask off his face. “I’m afraid” he stumbled over his words “That her heart has failed”. I sucked in a massive breath, and Edward grabbed me before I fell to the ground. “We can however do surgery” My head snapped back up “But it is very risky, and very expensive, and we would need a new heart within the next forty-eight hours”. I nodded vigorously. I would do what ever it takes, even if it meant selling my home. If my heart was any good, I would have given it to her. Wait. We could change her. I felt Edward smack me in the back of my head. Right, bad idea. “How much exactly?” Edward asked the doctor. “Well any other transplant surgery would not cost as much as a heart transplant” he said, almost as if he regretted it himself “But a heart transplant is roughly around five-hundred…thousand”. I gasped. Oh my god. My mother is never going to make it through this. “Put her name on the list now” Edward said. Was he crazy? I don’t have that kind of money. I don’t have any money. Was he planning to pay for it himself? He nodded. “Oh my god EDWARD” I screamed wrapping my arms tightly around him. “Thank you thank you than you than-” he clapped his hand over my mouth. “Kristen you are forgetting, my name is Ben” He laughed. Oh crap, forgot. I spun around as I heard the rest of them come in. Bella came running up to me, and hugged me tightly. “I’m so sorry” she moaned. When I pulled back I noticed who all was here. I really hope we all fit in the Mercedes. “So what’s the verdict” Carlisle asked stepping in front of them. “She needs a new heart within the next forty-eight hours” Edward said. Carlisle’s eyes widened. “What does that mean Carlisle?” I asked tugging on his arm. He finally composed himself and looked down at me. “It means dear, that we need to find a heart” he said. Bella slapped Carlisle’s arm. “Carlisle you know better than to scare us like that” she said. “Where are we going to find a heart?” Edward asked. I looked back at him. He looked concerned. Carlisle’s lips twitched into a thoughtful expression. Great this is going to take a while. I walked back over and sat back in my previous chair. They all followed taking up seat around me. Edward turned, and did a double take on me. Great. Not a good sign. “We have to go now” he whispered “Your eyes are…well you know”. I didn’t think about it sooner. I’m starting to extremely hate my power…even more than I already did. I jumped up from the chair, and followed Edward out of the hospital, keeping my gaze to the ground. “I‘m sorry C.J. I know it‘s been a rough day for you” he said. You think? Today has been the Armageddon of all days. I’m honestly surprised that Edward -being practically my best friend- hasn’t spontaneously combusted into mini little Michael Jackson’s running all over the place. He chuckled, and grabbed my arm twisting me around to look at him. I smiled at the expression on his face. It was clear he didn’t particularly like the thoughts of the people standing around us. Of what they were thinking if me…and him. “We need to go hunt really fast…or at least leave so people won’t notice that your eyes are demonic looking” I glared at him. He though my eyes looked demonic looking? “Oh thanks so much Edward” the sarcasm was clear in my voice. He chuckled and grabbed my arm, taking off into the trees just a few yards away. We ran at full speed. Hopefully nobody actually noticed, but I’m sure nobody would believe them anyway. So it really didn’t matter. We stopped after we got a good two miles into the forest. Edward sulked past me. I couldn’t help but laugh. He looked like a pissed off teenager. He spun around, and starred at me like I was crazy. “Edward you know you’re like my best friend, and there isn’t anything I would do for you but” I said, he stopped pacing “you are hilarious when you are mad…or confused…or-” he cut me off with his hand. “Thank so much” he said smiling. I knew he wasn’t talking about me laughing at him anymore. I smiled. “You and your family mean a lot to me” I sounded like an overly emotional soap opera “If it wasn’t for you all. I don’t know what I’d be by now”. A flicker of emotions played across his face. There were so many things I wanted to ask him, and now seemed to be the time to do it. “Edward?” “Yes?” “What was it that made you change Bella?” His face went blank. I think I just hit a nerve. Maybe I should have started with something simpler. “When Nessa was born” he paused quickly raking his fingers through his hair “I always knew I was going to have to change her, but…” “But what?” I hedged him on. “But I was putting it off. So when I had to deliver Nessa I knew Bella wasn’t going to make it through human. I had to change her” Now it made sense. Nessa was the real reason why Bella was a vampire. Jared was always skeptical about changing me, but he was just afraid he wouldn’t have the resistance, or I would leave him once I was. Poor naïve Jared. I miss you. He hopped up from the ground. I didn’t even notice him sit down. “C.J. you are very different” he said walking towards me. “Different how?” I asked suddenly feeling self-conscious. Then I smelt it again. That same familiar terrible odor. No. Please, no. Edward ducked into a low crouch. He knew exactly what it was. I grabbed his shirt and stood him up. “Edward we can’t fight. There are easily five if not more” I yelled over his snarling. He looked at me, and composure ran over his face. “You‘re right” he sighed looking down. I tugged on his arm. “Now isn’t the time to feel guilty. We need to go” I whispered, hoping dearly that they were farther away. Just then, seven massive beasts stepped out from the shadows of the trees. They were easily twenty feet away from us. I latched onto him with all of my might. “Edward” I squeaked. It was like horrible Déjà vu. He turned his gaze back to me. “C.J. run” he whispered.