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Choices

Summary:
Choices Banner This story takes place in Eclipse when Riley goes to Bella’s room to gather her belongings for Victoria. This is what could have happened if Bella had arrived while he was still there, and the events following. Written pre-Breaking Dawn, so that book will be disregarded here. This will include my idea of how the series would have ended.


Notes:
Choices Banner *Written before Breaking Dawn was released, so that book will be ignored with this story.


19. Theory

Rating 4.5/5   Word Count 1996   Review this Chapter

(Previously):

EPOV

After the hour had passed, we all gathered in the living room, waiting. As Carlisle entered the room, we looked to him expectantly.

Carlisle turned to Bella, and smiled. "I’m sure you, more than any of us, have been very curious as to what is happening to you," he began. "I’m not sure I have the correct answers, as there is no way to really prove all of it, but I have come up with my own theory. Some of these things we will be able to test, some we have already started to figure out, and others will be merely speculation. When you and Edward recently told me about the latest ‘developments,’ it only added to my conclusion. I have seen a lot of things in all my years, Bella, but you are a first. I’ve grown accustomed to accepting the impossible, as we all have - we
are mythical creatures, after all," he paused, then smiled again. "That said, I’ve been pulling my resources, thinking this through...would you like to hear my theory?" he inquired, seeming to speak only to Bella.

"Yes, please," Bella answered quietly, almost in a whisper. She appeared to be nervous, as well as embarrassed. My hand gently squeezed hers, and I pulled her closer, trying to offer reassurance. She leaned into me, seeking comfort. No matter how she felt about what Carlisle had to say, I would be here for her.

Chapter 19: Theory

EPOV

After pausing for a moment, Carlisle began to speak. "All right, then. Basically, I think everything revolves around one main point, which is that I believe you were always meant to be with us...to be one of us. For whatever reason, it seems that it was your true destiny, possibly because your soul mate’s life had been taken from him, and it was the only real way for you to find him - to be with him. Now, I realize that you joining us in immortality did not occur how we were planning it, but it did still occur. What seems to matter is that when you were bitten, no matter by who, you had already made up your mind that this was the life you wanted; this was your choice," he paused. "I have never known of another that has entered into this life by choice. You knew what to expect once changed, and you were willing to accept all of it, unconditionally.

"I believe it was that choice that has ultimately allowed this life to come ‘easy’ to you. The first example of this would be how the actual changing process went for you. None of us can even imagine what you’ve described - a peaceful transition into this life. It could have only been Edward’s venom that was able to put out the pain of the fire for you, giving you the cooling sensation you’ve spoken of. You two are so uniquely connected to one another, it seems fitting - you had always wanted it to be him that bit you, so only he could spare you from the pain. He was a ‘numbing agent’ for you - his venom is what your body needed. Once the pain was gone, your description of floating in water, completely relaxed, sounds remarkably ‘womb-like.’ It is as if you were experiencing a comforting, consoling ‘birth’ into this new life, the life you were meant to live. Unimaginable, to us - it wasn’t our choice, and we all entered into it kicking and screaming, fighting every second of it.

"The second example would be your feeding habits, or lack of them," Carlisle smiled briefly at Bella. "To discover that you feel as though you don’t need to feed, that you have no sense of thirst, hunger, or...anything. Although I am sure that with time you would have weakened, the fact that you felt fine, complete, with no need for any type of sustenance, is again, a first. When you did feed, merely to appease us, the blood tasted like human food to you, which may sound horrifying to us, but it was always blood that was horrifying to you. Another adaptation which as far as I know, is purely unique to you. I’ve never heard of such a thing, and as we know, I’ve been around for a while.

"The third example I have is the clarity of your human memories. Yes, usually it takes a little while for them to fade away, but even in the beginning they should seem a little fuzzy. Not for you though. You’ve retained every detail, in almost perfect clarity. What’s more interesting is that although you have kept the memories, the pain, or grief, is lessening. It’s like you’re unconsciously able to choose what to keep, and in an effort to heal, you’re losing the bad things. Normally our kind would lose most of both aspects...anything from the human part of life would start out slightly faded, and fade much more with time." He paused as he noticed Bella glance over towards Rosalie.

"Yes, Bella, it is true that Rosalie still holds the desire to have children, but that is something that is simply part of her - it’s within her nature. The strength of her human memories have faded, and her pain is not something left over from her human life. Her pain comes from the realities that she's had to accept after becoming one of us." Carlisle glanced sadly towards Rosalie before turning his attention back to Bella.

"Now, things may change with you - your memories may fade - that remains to be seen, and we’ll only know after more time has passed. Personally, with everything I’ve observed from you, Bella, I don’t think it will change, and I hope it doesn’t. I love the idea that you’ll always have crystal clear memories of your parents, and their love for you, but that you won’t have to suffer from the grief that came with that loss," Carlisle paused, thinking to himself for a moment.

"Another interesting aspect...Bella, before you became one of us, one of your best friends was a werewolf. We all know how much we do not get along with the wolves - they exist after all, to destroy our kind. They disgust us, just as much as we disgust them." He smiled apologetically at Bella. "I know that you were concerned about what would happen to your friendship with Jacob after you became one of us; you’d discussed it with Alice and Edward many times. Once again, you seem to have found a way around this problem in your transition, as you and Jacob do not seem to be offended by one another at all. Now, none of us were on friendly terms with a wolf before we were changed, nor do I know of anyone that has... until you. Therefore, I cannot compare it to anyone else's situation, but I believe that your body has once again adapted itself to allow you to retain that part of your humanity.

"Now, going back to the feeding issue. This is what I find to be most interesting, Bella. If you do decide to feed, then many of the characteristics of being one of us seems to be ‘activated’ by the blood, but are only temporary, unless you keep feeding. Edward has told me that the one deer you fed from was quite small, and now we see that your abilities have lasted just under 24 hours. I believe that if you were to feed more - perhaps larger game, and more than one, that you would retain your powers for a bit longer.

"We’ve seen that you take on our gifts, or abilities - I’m still not sure if this is unique to our family only, or if others’ abilities would be shared with you as well. Personally, I think that it may be due to the close relationship you share with us. Some of our ‘gifts’ are doubled in strength, others of which are shared, but with twists to them, such as Edward’s. Instead of just hearing us, as Edward does, we can hear you as well. On a side note, going back to the wolves - I would be curious to see if you’re still quite so unoffensive to them after you’ve fed, and vice versa. I have a feeling, judging from everything else, that it may not be the case," Carlisle chuckled slightly.

"You also have access to your own special ‘gift’ when you feed...the ability to influence people’s actions. Perhaps you gained this from your need to protect yourself - after all, Bella, Edward did always refer to you as a danger magnet, and as a human you certainly did have an uncanny way of attracting trouble," Carlisle added, smiling ruefully at me.

"Interestingly, when combined all at once, our gifts, united with your own, seem to give you some kind of surge of unfathomable power. I can’t help but wonder at how this seems to be yet another confirmation that you belong with our family, the missing piece, perhaps - of course, we still have yet to see if other vampire’s gifts affect you the way ours do. Regardless, last time this took all of us a bit off guard. If you’re willing, I think learning to control this, and working with it, would be a good idea. It would mean more feeding, obviously, and lots of practice, but I would be very interested in learning more of what you’ve been given.

"Lastly, your eyes have been a source of great curiosity with all of us. Your eye color has basically been the opposite of what is normal for us. When you woke, they were immediately gold, like you were already satiated...it was your natural state. Then after feeding, they turned pitch black. When our eyes are black, our body is telling us to feed. Seemingly, when yours are black, your body is telling you that you don’t have to feed. Gold is much more acceptable looking to humans then black, which is why we try to feed regularly, to keep ours from becoming that dark. Along with no sense of thirst, this makes sense; unheard of, but apparently not impossible.

"Since it was ultimately your choice to become one of us rather than remain human, everything that has followed has become a choice for you. It’s like you have the choice of when you want to fully be one of us. Everything about your change became adapted to suit you...your choice. Instead of your body and mind working against you, making you struggle to accept what you’d become, as we did, they’re working for you, making everything that much easier. It’s as if your body is confirming your choice, and has customized itself to this life. Your mind had already known your true decision, subconsciously selecting adaptations to suit you specifically while you were still asleep.

"This is my theory, Bella. To choose this life freely, without question, has given you the freedom to be one of us, to be immortal, without the struggle, and to have access to special abilities, but only when you choose to. I do believe you are a first for our kind," he finished, smiling at Bella with the love and admiration only a father could offer.

We were all fairly quiet after this, trying to process Carlisle’s theory. Not all of it was new of course, but when put together and presented this way, it was a lot to think about. Bella was the most quiet, still cuddled up against me. One thing was clear, that much I could tell by everyone’s expressions, as well as their thoughts. My entire family was in awe, and full of love for Bella, even Rosalie. As each of them realized that it was her desire to be with me forever, to join my family, and because of her unquestionable love for them, she was free from the restrictions that usually accompanied our kind. It was beyond beautiful.