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Live This Life

Summary:
Sequel to I Need You to Love Me. It is strongly recommended that you read that first or else you won't know half the characters. She doesn't own a dress, and her hair is always a mess. If you catch her stealing, she won't confess. She's beautiful. Here she is again on the phone. Just like me, she hates to be alone. We just like to sit at home. Well she wants to live her life, then she thinks about her "life". Pulls her hair back as she screams, "I don't really wanna be the queen, I--I don't really wanna live this life.


Notes:
Well she wants to be the queen, and she thinks about her scene. Wells she wants to live her life, and she thinks about her life. Pulls her hair back as she screams, "I don't really want to be the queen. I don't really want to live this life." As always, it belongs to SM, except for the summary. those are the lyrics to change your mind by all-american rejects.


2. Chapter 2--She Walked Away (Reprise)

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Chapter Two--She Walked Away (Reprise)

There was a hole in her heart, a hole that hurt every time she acknowledged it. She was not quite sure why it was there, it just was. It was quite obvious. She was not happy with her life. She yearned for more: more freedom, more experiences, more love. She knew that Alec loved her, and she was good friends with Adrianna and Heidi, but that was not the same. It wasn’t a best friend relationship, more like a mix between friends and good friends. For a decade, she had lived being only loved by one person, and, being an incredibly greedy creature, Gia was unhappy.

It felt like she with living with her eyes half open. Gia was tired of it all. She wanted to get away from it all. All she thought about was her life, and the more she examined it, the more logical her original conclusion became.

Gia had fallen onto the floor, landing on her hands and knees. Her hair fell around her like a curtain as tears poured out her eyes. “I don’t want to live this life,” she quietly sobbed. Her tears noiselessly landed on the stone floor of her bedroom. Right now, it was just hers. Alec had gone at the masters’ bidding along with Demetri and Gabriel to England. There had been some ruckus there with the vampires in the royal family--who knew--and it all needed to be sorted out. This left Gia alone to her thoughts and think she did.

“Gia,” a warm voice called out in alarm. Gia felt the small but strong arms of her mistress surround her. “Are you all right?”

Gia shook her head no. She tried to stop crying, but in the safe embrace of her mistress, she could not stop. Her mistress was like her older sister, she always seemed to be there and always knew what to say. Her mistress cradled her,and let her cry.

“What’s wrong?” her mistress asked.

“I can’t tell you,” she sobbed.

Mistress patted her head soothingly. “Yes you can, Gia. You know that I won’t get mad. I can’t even get mad at you,”

“You will over this,” Gia said as she pulled back to look at her mistress.

Mistress looked at Gia with her wide violet eyes. They were so soft and gentle, making Gia feel like she could trust her over anyone else in the world. Including him. “I’m…I’m…”

“You’re not happy here, are you?” Mistress said.

Gia blinked. “How did you know?”

Mistress laughed. It was a beautiful sound. In all of her years as a human and as a vampire, Gia had never seen anyone as beautiful as her mistress. It was shocking. “It is so obvious, Gia. You walk around with the most sullen expression on your face that I have ever seen, and I have seen my fair share of gloom. Only Alec seems to make you happy and even then, you are not truly joyous. Is something wrong?”

Gia sighed. Mistress was just like an older sister. As annoying, omniscient and nosy as an older sister. “Obviously. I’m sobbing on the floor.”

Mistress laughed. It was phenomenal. Mistress was impossible make angry. “You’re right. Tell me, what’s wrong?”

“I…I…I don’t know how to explain it,” Gia confessed.

Mistress sighed. Looking at Gia with wise eyes--eyes that would look out of a place on a forty-five year old, much less someone who was eighteen, she nodded her head. “You want to leave, don’t you?”

Gia’s head snapped up. “What? No! Never!” she protested. That thought had never even entered her head. Leaving the Volturri was considered to be the ultimate sin; no one had done it and survived. Gia was well aware of the fact that the only reason her emotions were not under the constant manipulations of Chelsea was the fact that her mate was Alec, and that she was so favored by her mistress.

Mistress looked at Gia with sympathetic eyes. “Whatever you say. It is up to you,”

Gia looked at her mistress with her wide eyes. “You’re wrong, Mistress. I could never leave.” Gia pleaded with her to not doubt her loyalty, “Please understand. I don’t even want to leave.”

Her mistress smiled. “As you wish,”

“Gia?” Adrianna rapped smartly on Gia’s door. Mistress helped the young vampire to her feet.

“Come in,” Gia called in a slightly shaky voice.

Adrianna opened the old door. When her eyes fell on Marcus’s bride, she bowed. “Mistress,” she said respectfully. “I was just coming to tell Gia that it was time to feed.”

Mistress blanched--she did not partake in the coven feedings but chose to hunt on her own, and feed on the beasts that roamed around the city. A vegetarian. She certainly was an anomaly among the coven. However, she pushed Gia forward, urging her to drain the many humans that were beginning to gather. In her mind, there was no one more great than her mistress.

Gia walked beside Adrianna, anxiously wiping away all traces of sadness. She did not want anyone to think her weak. She had to be strong for Alec. He was still the dominant figure in the coven, and as his mate, she had to be just as strong as him so as to not threaten his position of power. Steeling herself, she walked into the throne room, she grasped at the silvery threads in her mind that was her power and pulled it forward. She had to be a full vampire in order to partake in the feeding frenzy. She took her customary spot beside Jane--who still found pleasure in tormenting her--and waited. Jane gave Gia a look of disdain, but there was a question in her gaze. She subsumed it under Jane screwing with her mind.

“Welcome to the great halls of the Volturri!” Aro called to the humans that filed into the throne room.

They looked around in excitement. Heidi closed the door firmly. All at once, the frenzy began. Vampires leapt up, and flew down on the gaggle of humans, sending them into a panic. Gia watched with wide eyes as she realized as how the myth of vampires flying began. Blood flew around the room. Instead of finding the blood appealing, she found it revolting. Gia looked down at her hands and nearly feinted whenever she saw her hands. Instead of being stark white, she saw a dark olive. Her power had failed her. She could not change. Throwing caution to the wind, she sent her humanity out to the rest of the coven so that she could feed. She nearly screamed. Her talent was not working. She remained nearly human.

Gia’s hands flew up to her neck when she realized that she was still partially human. In the panic, one of her own coven could turn against her. Quickly, she slipped out a side door and ran to the only person she could think of that would help her. Mistress.

Without knocking, Gia burt into the chambers that her mistress shared with Master Marcus. She found her mistress sitting on a sofa reading poetry. When her room was so noisily invaded, Mistress looked up to see who had caused the disturbance. “Gia!’ she cried. “What’s wrong? You should be feeding with the rest of the coven!”

“I can’t!” she protested.

“Why not?”

“My power won’t work!” Gia cried out in desperation.

Mistress’s reaction was expected. She threw her book over her shoulder and was by Gia’s side before she could blink. She closely examined Gia, trying to find someway to prove her wrong. “Try it on me,” she ordered, her voice stern, brokering no option of disobedience.

Closing her eyes, Gia tried with all of her might to force her humanity onto someone else. A minute later, she peaked an eye open to see if it was working. Mistress looked down at her, patiently waiting for something to happen. Gia sighed in defeat. “See!” she cried.

Mistress looked at her own hands and then at Gia’s. “You’re right. Your talent is not working any more. Have you done anything differently?” She questioned.

Gia paused to think. It was all a show for Mistress. She knew that she had done nothing wrong. She just wanted her mistress to believe her. “No,” she fervently declared, “Nothing!”

Mistress bit her lip, thinking hard. “I wonder…”

“Wonder what?” Gia pressed. She had to know so that she could fix it. She just wanted things to go back to normal. Maybe that it why she felt so depressed. Her power was depleting.

“When Aro first found you, you were negating vampiric qualities, correct?” Mistress pressed.

“Yes,” Gia answered.

“I wonder if somehow, the transformation is being effected by that? If for some reason, it did not…how do I put this?…if the transformation is only temporary because of your natural negating abilities. Do you understand what I am trying to say?” Mistress asked.

Gia paused this time to truly think. Her mistress made a good argument. There had been a lot of trouble concerning being able to change her into a vampire. It only made sense that there would be problems for her after the transformation as well. “If that’s true, what happens when it wears off?”

Mistress shrugged. “I don’t know. I’m not the scientist. That’s Caius,”

Both women wrinkled their faces in disgust before they burst out laughing. Gia lost herself in the frivolity for only a moment. Solemn once more, she looked at the brunette vampire with a mixture of terror and regret. “What do I do?” she cried out.

If she reverted her her human state she would be useless to the Volturi. The masters would kill her in a second, and no one, not even her Alec, could tell them otherwise. She didn’t want to die! No! She wanted to live with Alec, by his side as his mate forever. The masters had no other grounds for her demise. After her rocky beginning with the powerful vampires, she settled down and had become a loyal follower. It was unfair of them to destroy her just because she was no longer among the elevated ranks of the vampires.

Mistress shook. Gia looked at the fear and uncertainty that radiated from her. “I don’t know. I just don’t know,”

“What would you do?” Gia pressed. The brunette vampire had regaled her with stories of how she had lived with werewolves, lived civily with other vegetarian vampires and roamed nomadically with Mordecai before she came to the great halls of Volturi. Surely that daring woman would have devised away to escape any situation, Gia’s included. The redheaded vampire hoped that nearly a decade of pampering and having been waited on hand and foot had not made that capricious woman soft and dimwitted. “If this had happened to you when you lived with the Cullens or the dogs, what would you have done?”

“During my years with them, I had nothing to fear. If that had happened, I am sure that they would have been joyous for my good fortune. But…” The mistress cast a glance at the quivering form of Gia. “…If I was faced with your situation and I was not married to Marcus, I would run.”

Gia gasped. Surely the woman was not insinuating that she do something so weak and human. Run away from a problem. She had lived as a vampire for the last ten years. Cowardice was not an option. Mistress gave her a knowing yet unrepentant look. “That is what I would do. Of course, I never seemed to be controlled by the hubris that highlights most of our race.”

Gia choke back a laugh. That was one of the most boldfaced lies that she had ever heard. She ran a hand through her hair. “I can’t. They’ll track me down and destroy me…Demetri, he can do that, you know.” She felt like she had to remind her mistress of that fact, even though Mistress was more aware of the talented guards than anyone else it seemed.

“I won’t let them. I swear, I’ll protect you,” her mistress said. “I give you my permission to leave, if that is what you seek. I won’t allow anyone to pursue you.”

“What about Alec? I love him! I can’t leave him!” Gia protested as tears began to fall from her eyes. She hated herself for sobbing. She did not want to cry. Crying was weak…human, something that she tried desperately to disassociate herself from. She was no longer a human. She was a vampire, she told herself. Vampires were strong, steadfast, and as inhuman as possible. It was because she so fervently clung to her human ways that this was happening now. It was all her fault. She was pathetic.

“I can send him after you.” The mistress sounded so confident, like this was something she had orchestrated a hundred times before. She smiled down comfortingly at Gia as if promising her that everything would turn out well. Gia only wished she could believe her.

She shook her head despairingly. “No, you can’t. He is loyal to Master Marcus. He won’t want to leave…if I leave, he can’t come. He won’t come.”

“Of course he will, Gia! He loves you!” Mistress reprimanded her forcefully. “Don’t ever fool yourself into thinking otherwise!”

Gia furiously brushed away the tears that crashed like waterfalls down her cheeks gruffly with the back of her hand. “As you say, Mistress,” she dejectedly muttered, not believing a word of it for a second.

“I promise, if you just wait a few days, he will more than willingly join you. Alec is the type of guy who likes to have his privacy, and he would jump at the chance to escape this place and go somewhere where it would be just the two of you. You could live out in peace for the rest of your lives.”

“You mean, until I die.” Gia snarled hatefully. The brutal reality hit her like a ton of bricks. She would age and decay; Alec wouldn’t. He would remain young and ageless, a man trapped in a boy’s body for all eternity. If she ran away from him, people would assume that she was his sister…his mother…his grandmother. Or worse…No. She would not let that happened. She might age, but she would never force him to watch her slowly die before his eyes. Not when she had the power to stop it. She refused to let him suffer.

The mistress sighed. “Yes, something like that. You do not have to say it so bluntly, however.”

“But I am dying. And he isn’t,” Gia pointed out. She was in hysterics over the fact that her life would continue and his wouldn’t. There was no point in dragging him all around the world with her only if she were to mature and decay as he remained perfect and beautiful forever. “He can’t come with me,” she declared resolutely.

“Of course he can. He loves you, don’t deny him your company!” Mistress pleaded with her.

Gia shook her head. Her mind was made up and she was not going to back down. If she was going to be an independent person, she had to make her own decisions. This was a perfect time to start controlling her own life. “No. I won’t let him watch me age. I don’t want people to judge us, to think I am a pedophile or something. Not if I can help it. I’ll leave, and never see him again.”

“Gia,” Mistress sighed, “Do you really believe that to be the best course of action? There are still other things we can explore…other options. We could take this to Caius, he might have come up with a backup plan incase a situation like this were to arise.”

Gia gave the eighteen year old a skeptical look. The mistress shrugged. “You never know. Or, maybe you could just be bitten by Heidi again. There is always that option.”

“And then what? Be changed every decade? Have to learn control all over again? I don’t even think it would work. My body could reject it or whatever while she was biting me, or it maybe her venom wouldn’t even work. I don’t know, and it might be pitiful and pathetic, but I don’t want to be bitten by every member of the guard. I don’t want anyone else to know unless it is absolutely necessary.”

Mistress nodded. “That is certainly a reasonable and doable request. Are you sure, though, that this is truly what you want and not something born of despair and desperation? Even if you do go back to being a human, you are still welcome here. We all love you and care about you.”

Gia could not help but snort in derision. “I am positive. You were right earlier when you said that I wanted to leave. Then, it seemed like it was not a viable option, but the more I dwell on it, the more I realize that it is what I want. I want to leave.”

“What if you do not revert back to a human? What if you remain a vampire, if this was just some sort of momentary lapse of control? If you were not changing, would you still wish to leave?” Mistress pressed.

Gia squeezed her eyes together. “Yes. Maybe not forever, but just for a few years. I don’t like being toyed with like a puppet. I don’t like having to be accountable for every single thing I do, having to always be ready to serve you all, to lay my life down on the line if need be. I do love you, Mistress, I do, but this is not how I imagined my life to be. This isn’t like anything I ever planned.”

The mistress chuckled softly. “I don’t think that this is how any of us imagined how our lives would end up. It just happened. Fate, it seems, is offering you a second chance, and I will not stand in your way. If you want to leave, Gia, I shall support you fully.”

“Oh, thank you!” Gia through her arms around the other vampire. The two women clung to each other for a moment, dwelling on how much life was about to change. Pulling back, Gia said, “I guess I need to go pack.”

“Pack lightly,” the mistress ordered. “Hang on just a sec,” she ordered.

She dashed off to black Coach purse. Rummaging around it for a moment, she grabbed a wad of cash. “Take this with you,” she ordered Gia. “Go to America. There is a city hidden in the lower part of the Appalachian Mountains called Myth. Mordecai and I stayed there for a while. They are hospitable. They will help you.”

“Won’t they find it odd that a teenage girl show up alone and hopes to set up a life?” Gia asked as she gratefully accepted the cash. It was a large amount of money, some of it was in euros and the rest was in dollars.

The mistress shook her head. “No. It is a city of our kind. Vampires, humans, mermaids, werewolves…they coexist there. Hence the name,”

“Oh,” Gia nodded. Clever.

“Don’t use any of the credit cards that you were issued. You can be tracked that way.”

Gia faltered. “I thought that you said that you would protect me.”

Mistress nodded. “I will do everything in my power to do so. I fear Caius becoming angry and sending someone after you to bring you back. You are a threat in the fact that you could expose our entire world, after all.”

“I would never!” Gia protested.

Mistress nodded. “I know, Gia, I know. But, you know as well as I the paranoia that afflicts us. It something were to happen, if you made even the tiniest slip up, it all would be over.”

It all clicked in Gia’s head. “That’s why you are sending me to Myth. That way, if I do say something, it is to people who already know, and they can handle any mishaps accordingly.”

“Bingo.” Mistress winked. “But I trust you. You are too smart to accidentally spill your guts about our world. But, if you do…” Mistress made Gia meet her eyes which flashed from warm and kind to cold and ruthless, “I will hunt you down myself, Gia, and I won’t be as forgiving as my husband. Do you understand?”

Gia gulped and nodded. “Of course, Mistress.”

“Good. Now go pack. I think that they are just about finished with their meal.” Her mistress hurried her out the door.

Gia dashed down the hall and into her room. She still had luggage from when she and Alec accompanied their masters to Greece for holiday. She packed light--if she fully reverted to a human before she arrived in Myth, she could not be burdened down by too much clothing. She grabbed the necessities: her iPod and underwear. After that, it was comfortable clothing: tee-shirts, shorts, jeans, and socks. She really wanted to bring her jewelry, but was somehow afraid that it would be misconstrued as thievery, causing the full wrath of the Volturi to rain down on her. She settled for her favorite pieces.

The door creaked open. Gia’s head whipped up as she froze. Oh no! Someone had noticed her absence during the feeding and was coming to check up on her. She was caught! Her shoulders sagged in relief as her mistress slunk into her room. “I got you a ticket to Manteo, North Carolina. Myth is only an hour or so north of that. It’s up in the mountains, though, so it might be difficult for you to find it.” Mistress warned.

“I will find it,” Gia said confidently.

“Do you need help getting to the airport?” Mistress asked.

Again, Gia shook her head. “No, Mistress. I will be fine. Besides, Master Marcus will be looking for you, soon. If you are not here, then the alarm bells will be ringing and the entire guard will scour the city for you. No offense, but that would halt all of my plans.”

Her mistress laughed. “That is true, Gia. You are very smart. And,” she added with a gleam in her eye, “if you leave, I am no longer your mistress. You should refer to me by my name.”

Gia flushed. “I could never do something so disrespectful.”

Her mistress laughed. “I promise, there is no disrespect.”

“Well, then, Mistress, I do mean to continue to refer to you by your title.”

Mistress winked at her. “One day, you’ll stop. I have no doubts of that. Now,” her tone was grave and business like, “Take this number, and whatever you do, don’t loose it. If you ever get into trouble, any trouble at all, just call this number and help will come. I promise.”

Gia glanced down at the phone number written her mistress’s elegant script. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

Mistress smiled ruefully. “You have no idea how much money Izzie paid to get that as her number. Now, promise me you won’t lose it.”

“I promise I won’t.”

Without warning, Mistress threw her arms around Gia and squeezed her with all of her might. Gia hugged her back just as fiercely. It was goodbye forever. “Be safe out there,” Mistress begged.

Gia bobbed her head. Tears slowly dripped out of her eyes and for once, she was not ashamed of them. She was becoming more human with each passing minute. “You too. Make sure Marcus takes good care of you,”

“He will,” she promised. “I know he will. Call me as soon as you get settled. I will want daily updates when you get there.”

“You’ll be the first,”

“Are you sure you have to leave?”

“Yeah. I am.”

“Then take care,” Mistress said.

“I will.”

Footsteps began to clatter down the hallway. The feeding session was over. The blood was gone and the bodies were disposed of. Mistress nodded to Gia, who waved. “Bye, Emma,” Gia muttered, giving into her mistress’s final wish. With those words still hanging in the air, Gia leapt out her window. She landed safely on the ground, and took off running, fully aware that her life would be forever changed, and most likely, not for the better.