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To Be With Her

Summary:
To Be With Her by Awsomealice94 He has been alone for over 90 years-just wondering when, or even if, the girl for him will come along. One Shot of Edward before he met Bella


Notes:
Disclaimer-i'm not Stephenie Meyer, and i think you can put together the rest of it yourself :)


1. Chapter 1

Rating 4.5/5   Word Count 800   Review this Chapter

Every day, I would gaze from a distance at the beautiful sight of love-always far beyond my reach.

My family members, all had found each other, and all were perfect with one another. Two worlds, and completely different times and places, had come together to produce love. I never understood it, even if I could read their minds.

That type of love was foreign to me. And watching it every day and every night, I would always think the same thing-that I would give anything to have it. To have her.

I’ve waited forever for her-the perfect women, the soul mate meant for me. And she still hasn’t come-which made me wonder, if there really was a women for me out there. Being alone for so long made me almost convinced so.

I stopped running, and sat on a rock which was lying next to the river behind our house. The moonlight glistened off of the ripples in the water, making it so that I could see my reflection.

I had pictured the time I would meet her a thousand different ways, all usually the same. I would know it was her-because it would be in her eyes, in her thoughts, and in her heart. There would be a stutter, even in my dead heart. When I our eyes would meet, I wouldn’t be able to keep my mind off of her. There would not be lust in her mind-only love. She would be an angel-and angel that I wouldn’t deserve but would love all the same. I wondered if she pictured the same thing…that she was thinking the same thing and looking up at the same sky someplace.

I would just know that it was her. That the wait would be over. And that I would finally understand feelings that I had never felt in my whole existence.

I felt my heart almost break, my hands balled into fists. What I wouldn’t give to have her. And just reminding myself of what I’m missing made my pain even worse. I glowered at my reflection in the river. An angel would never be able to love me-who was I kidding? I was an ugly, horrible, bloodthirsty monster.

There would be nobody for me. Nobody to share that precious feeling with.

I threw a smaller rock that I found next to me into my reflection, in frustration. Then I held my head in my hands.

Alice and Jasper-a match made in destiny. Jasper was the first man Alice had ever seen-and she knew he was the one. Alice was the only women Jasper was in search for-even if he didn’t know where to look. They had found each other, and they loved each other. Alice’s optimism and high spirits balanced out Jasper’s level headedness and seriousness. Her happiness and his pain of the past were the perfect combination.

Carlisle and Esme- the perfect and most flawless of any relationship I had ever witnessed. Carlisle had found Esme. Carlisle was a father figure, and Esme was easy to love and always had motherly instincts. Carlisle’s compassion and Esme’s love was the most amazing match I was sure there ever was.

Rosalie and Emmett- the most unblemished and complete paring. Though Rosalie had saved Emmett out of selfishness it didn’t matter. Emmett had seen his Angel. Rosalie’s vanity and Emmett’s competiveness and humor had balanced everything out. Where she went, he followed.

And then there is me. No partner, no love. Just alone, as I had been for years. A monster in every way.

I would give anything to have what any of them had. Just to feel what they felt, to hold her hand, to kiss her when she needed comfort, to protect her and keep her safe, and to have her sitting here next to me would make me complete.

I look away from the river and up at the dark night sky. There were many stars surrounding the bright light of the moon. I made a wish on each one…but it only came to one wish-for her.

I wonder what she would look like in this moon light, how her eyes would sparkle from it, or how her soft hair would blow gently from the small breeze. I wonder what it would feel like to hold her for the very first time.

I looked back down at my feet before eventually getting up and walking towards the house. I could hear Jasper laughing with Alice, Rosalie trying to play football outside in the yard with Emmett, and Carlisle holding Esme while she read a book. I sighed. Though I had been alone, looking up at the moon many times, there would always be a small ounce of hope-just for her- just to be with her.