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The Sunshine Train

Summary:
Create your own banner at mybannermaker.com!John F. Kennedy said once that the courage of life is often a less dramatic spectacle than the courage of a final moment; but it is no less a magnificent mixture of triumph and tragedy. A man does what he must, in spite of personal consequences, in spite of obstacles and dangers and pressures, and that is the basis of all morality.
I couldn't agree more.
Courage was the reason I was here. Courage and love. We know Edward and Bellas story during Twilight, but what if it was different? What if Alice was the new girl, and Bella was already a vampire? Would Jaspers self-control hold out when he meets a girl whos blood smells so intoxicating to him? Mostly AxJ, all canon pairings. Thank you so much to MoonSpinner for the amazing banner!!


Notes:
Read on and enjoy. Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, and i never ever ever will :(


9. Theory

Rating 5/5   Word Count 2216   Review this Chapter

"He that is strucken blind cannot forget
The precious treasure of his eyesight lost"

APOV

It had been 7 minutes. 7 minutes and 45 seconds. 7 minutes and 45 seconds of an agonizingly long, painful silence.

We were sitting in his car, the key was in the ignition, but the engine wasn't on. We weren't moving, and it didn't look like we were going anywhere anytime soon. I opened my mouth, unsure of what I was going to say, but wanting to say anything to break the silence. But he beat me to it.

“You know what I am”

“Yes.”


“How long?”

“A…a few days. Since I went to the beach.”

“How?” His tone was cold. Unforgiving, and I flinched, but didn't back down. I wanted to know the truth.

“I spoke to a...friend. And did some research” I pulled my recently bought book from my bag, and held it in my lap. He glanced at the title and snorted.

“Quileute legends. A bunch of lies bias lies passed down from word-of-mouth, changed by everyone who tells them. There's almost no truth left in their stories”

“But there is some truth”

He snorted, “Barely”

I was angry now, “So you’re telling me that your skin isn't as pale as snow and ice-cold, that you’re not impossibly strong, that you don’t avoid eating anything, that you don’t avoid school on sunny days to go camping? That you and your family aren't what the Quileute Tribes call a 'cold-one'”

“No”

It was my turn to snort, but he cut me off before I could say anything. “That's not what I’m telling you”

I raised an eyebrow, “So what are you telling me?”

He turned to face me, his eyes darkening slightly with anger and exasperation, “What do you want me to tell you?”

I shook my head, mostly just to clear my thoughts. This conversation was getting very confusing. I turned to look at him, hoping he could feel my confusion.

Something had changed suddenly, in his eyes, and not for the first time, it was like he'd known what I was feeling, and decided to…change it. He sat back in his seat, rubbing his temples with his fingers. I rested my back against the car door, watching him, my feet pulled up underneath me, waiting for him to speak.

“You have...no idea what it's like. Living like this. Going against everything that’s programmed into our very species. I…I don’t want to be a monster, Alice. I don’t want to walk down the street, and get the urge to kill every time I go near someone. I don’t…I don’t know.”

I sat up, kneeling in my chair, feeling a sudden overwhelming sense of sorrow. I reached over, and pulled his hands from where they covered his face, holding them in mine. He opened his eyes, staring down at our entwined hands, then up at my face.

“I…I don’t repulse you?”

I shook my head, smiling slightly, “Not in the slightest.”

He took his hands from mine; turning so he was facing me, his face desperate, like he was pleading me to understand, “Please Alice, I need to know the truth. You…you don’t care?”

I shook my head again, my lips pressed together in a tight line.

“Alice please. I’ve killed people, innocent people. People like you…just because I wasn’t strong enough to resist. I wanted to kill you…so badly when I first met you. I’ve never wanted a persons blood so badly.”

My breathing had slowed slightly, as I took in what he was telling me. I knew I should be freaking out, that I shouldn’t be accepting this as easily as I was. But I was telling the truth…I didn’t care what he was. He was still Jasper Hale. The same boy who’d rescued me from the fire, the same anomaly that had lingered in my thoughts constantly for the past few months. I couldn’t change my feelings for him, even if I wasn’t completely sure what they were.

His brow was furrowed in confusion; his eyes were narrowed, as though he was thinking hard.

He looked up at me, “You’re really that accepting?”

Now I really was confused – I was sure I hadn’t said my thoughts out loud, “I…what?”
He flinched slightly, as though realising he’d slipped up, “Damn,” he muttered, “I was hoping to give you some time to absorb…everything…before I went and threw another bombshell your way”

“Well I’m practically a sponge when it comes to absorbing, so fire away”

He cleared his throat – clearly stalling – and met my gaze, his golden eyes boring into mine, as though daring me to disbelieve him. Then – “I can feel your emotions”

Ok…I did need a few moments to absorb that, “I’m sorry, what?

He smiled humourlessly, as though relieved that something he’d said had finally unsettled me, “Well at least that got your attention. Yes, I can feel everything you’re feeling right now. Every single emotion you feel when you’re near me, I feel them too. I can manipulate emotions too, but I try not too, with you especially”

I didn’t say anything – I had so many questions, but nothing to actually say. My head was buzzing, my thoughts scrambled, all over the place.

“You’re confused”

I snorted, “You can say that again”

He smiled at me, for the first time that evening, and I felt a sudden wave of relief; at least he wasn’t angry with me. He turned the key in the ignition, and pulled the car out of the space, and into the road.

“And you’re curious. Understandable I suppose. So…ask away”

The questions tumbled from my mouth, coming out in a hardly discernable stream of words, leaving me breathless, “What do you eat? I mean obviously not humans because…well I just don’t think you do. I mean you’ve mentions self-control, but come on, you’ve got to eat something. And how old are you? Are you really 18, because I thought…vampires…were immortal, so you could be like, wow centuries old! And what about sleeping…I’m guessing now, seeing as you don’t have fangs and wear black capes, that most vampire stories are complete crap. But…coffins, and being burned by the sun, and bats and cobwebs, it must have come from somewhere! And – ”

“Alice” he said suddenly, his voice quiet, but cutting me off completely, “Breathe”

I paused, taking in a deep breath, wondering If he would answer me.

“We, - me and my family – only hunt…animals. We try and control our need for…human blood. But sometimes we make mistakes. Like this; me being alone with you”

“This is a mistake?”

He nodded, “A big mistake. My…control is weaker than that of my family. I’m weaker than them – I’ve killed a lot more people, had longer to adjust to the taste of…human. It’s hard for me to stick to the diet. I…I’m putting you in danger just by being near you, but I…I couldn’t stay away. Not from your blood, but from you. You’re completely irresistible to me”

I snorted with laughter, raising an eyebrow as I stared out the window, watching the road flash past, the white headlights from the car shining against each bend in the road, “I like that you drive fast” I said quietly, more to myself than him. But his chuckle told me he had heard.

“To answer your other questions, we don’t sleep. Not ever. It gets…very boring. Life is incredibly tedious when the day never ends. Well…it was” he flashed me a sideways glance, smirking slightly. I tried not to blush.

“What about the sun? I asked Angela, and she said you all skip school when it’s sunny. You come out in the daytime…but the sun…?”

“The sun, it doesn’t burn us like myths say it does. But…I’ll show you one day. It’s hard to describe.”

I turned towards the window, smiling slightly. He would show me, which meant this wasn’t just a one-time thing, he wasn’t just letting his walls of secrecy down for this one conversation. There would be…a one day. My joyful mood, which had been sudden to say the least, evaporated however, with the next thing he said.

“So, now we move onto you”
I’d nearly forgotten my side of the bargain, so to speak. I had yet to tell him of my…problem.

My curse of temporary insanity, that could hit without warning, and now – apparently – leave me as bruised and battered as if it had actually happened. I took a deep breath, and started to speak, not daring to look at him, shifting my gaze around the car.

“I have…visions so to speak. Of…well I’m not sure, but I think they show the future; or at least the…possible future. I’ve always believed the future is subjective, not ‘written in the stars’ as some people believe. I think it changes according to decisions we make. And sometimes I have…visions of what could happen now someone has made a decision. It started about a year ago...the day after my mother…and I’ve never been able to control it, I’ve never known when it was going to strike next, and it hurts

I broke off, suddenly realising I was crying again, and that he was looking at me. But I couldn’t bear to meet his eyes, I just stared at my lap, sniffing. I didn’t move, not even when I felt his cool fingers on my cheek, gently wiping away my tears.

“You should keep both hands on the steering wheel” I sniffed, trying to distract myself, if not him.

It must have worked, because he snorted with laughter, “No need darlin’ I’ve never yet got into any sort of accident, and It’s very unlikely that I ever will!”

I smiled faintly, looking back out the window, realising that we were nearly home, recognising, even in the dark, the thick trees of Forks lining the road. My heart sank slightly; I would be home soon, too soon. I didn’t want to leave him again, even though I knew what his next words were going to be, before he even opened his mouth.

“Where are the bruises from, Alice?”

“My vision. I…a man was pining me against the wall, and holding a knife to my stomach. And another 3 men were attacking a woman, they were going to stab her, and then – then you were there. That has never happened before. I’ve always been in pain before an after them, but I’ve never had…physical marks. I suppose they’re kind of a good thing though, they prove I’m not crazy”

“I never thought you were crazy Alice.”

The car had stopped; we were in my driveway, in front of my house. None of the lights were on and Isaacs’s car wasn’t there. I sighed; I didn’t really want to be alone tonight. I turned the car door handle, opening it to step out, but his hand caught my arm, pulling me back in for a moment.

“Alice” he whispered, staring into my eyes, my breath catching in my throat as I looked at him. He ran his fingers gently down my cheek, clearly struggling with what to say. I bit my lip, waiting, trying not to faint. His presence was making me light-headed.

“Sleep well” he whispered, finally. I nodded faintly, stumbling from the car, and running to the door, not trusting my legs to hold me up any longer.

I jammed the key into the lock, turning it and falling in the front door, my throat dry. I leant against the closed door, trying to steady my rushed breathing, my racing heart, as I heard his car pull out of the driveway, and drive down the road, fading into the distance.

The phone rang, echoing in the house, making me start in shock. I wondered who would be ringing, before something hit me.

Angela and Jess!
I scrambled for the phone, knocking the base onto the floor, as I wrenched it off the hook, asswering it breathlessly,

“Hello?” I gasped,

“ALICE! Where have you been! We waited for you for nearly an hour! We left you messages and rang you! What happened!?”

I faintly remembered my phone buzzing in my pocket a number times while I was in the car with Jasper, but he had made all coherent thought flee my mind, and I hadn’t given them a second thought.

“Jess, I’m so sorry! I…” I struggled to come up with a plausible excuse, “I fainted on my way back from the bookshop, and…Jasper found me. He bought me home, I way about to ring you!”

“Jasper? Jasper Hale? He bought you home?” Her tone was incredulous, and I heaved a sigh of relief; that she’d bought the excuse, and found some new gossip.

“Yes, he did Jess. I’ll…I’ll tell you about it tomorrow. Right now I need to…sleep. I’m exhausted!”

I faked a yawn, laying it on as thick as I could,

“Oh Alice you better! Tell me in Trig yeah?”

“Mhmm. Bye Jess”

I hung up before I heard her reply, a sudden wave of exhaustion hitting me, my yawn suddenly genuine.

I barely made it up the stairs to my room, falling onto my bed fully clothed and not caring. As I gradually fell closer to unconsciousness, a few certain things became evident.

First, Jasper Hale was a vampire. Second, there was a part of him – a part I knew he was trying as hard as he could to control – that thirsted for my blood. And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.