Dear Edward, I can't help but wish that you will miss me now that I am gone. After all, we had a lot of great times together. Though I hope you won't feel guilty and go and try to kill yourself, as I know you will try. It's not your fault that I am dead. It's mine. I didn't even attempt to move out of the way when the car came. Okay? But I do hope you let everyone know that I will miss them. Even if they hate me as much as you do, just let them know that. I hope you lead a normal life now, one with a normal vampire girlfriend, one where you are happy. Forever yours, Isabella Marie Swan
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1. Not what I expected
Rating 3.4/5 Word Count 1032 Review this Chapter
"Life inside the music box ain't easy.
The mallets hit the gears are always turning,
and everyone inside the mechanism is yearning to get out.
And sing another melody completely."
Music box by Regina Spektor
An out of control car.
Heading towards a girl.
A sad girl.
A broken girl.
She whispered something softly.
It sounded something like, "Goodbye, Edward. I'm so sorry."
She closed her eyes.
As the car hit her,
She drew a deep breath.
She didn't breathe again.
I woke up. I expected to be dead. But with each second, my heart beat. With each second, I drew a new breath, and exhaled. When I opened my eyes, I expected the white of a hospital. I also expected the edges of the hole to ripple. It was not what I expected.
I saw a room in a cruise ship. I didn't remember a cruise ship. In fact, I didn't remember much. A part of my brain told me that I didn't want to remember something. I sat up, and a voice greeted me.
"Well its about time, Bella Swan" It says. "My name is Bailey. Bailey Star. And I know every single thing about you. The thing is, I didn't expect this." Bailey said. She resembled Alice extraordinarily.
"Sorry to disappoint you," I mumbled. When she said my name it all came crashing down with sudden intensity. And I remembered...him. I pushed the thoughts away and said, "But I don't remember meeting a Bailey Star ever in my entire life so far"
"Of course you don't. We never met. I read this book about you, Twilight, and that's where I found everything out. I believe you said "in my entire life, so far." See the thing is, oh you know what? I'll let you figure it out."
"We're on a cruise ship?" I asked. She nodded. "Where are we going?"
"Elsewhere." She said matter-of-factly.
I don't know why, but in that context, it sounded like she meant... But that was impossible.
"Oh, God." I said softly. And ran. I ran out of that room. I ran as hard as I could, with tears streaming down my eyes. I ran down a hall, and out onto a deck. I fell down near a railing. The sky was bluer than I ever saw it when I was alive. When I was alive. I am dead. Then, more than I have ever wanted anything in my life, I wanted Edward. I wanted him to hold me, and hum my lullaby. I wanted to hear him whisper, "It's okay", and "I love you." Even if he didn't, I just wanted to hear him say it.
"Edward," I whispered, as if to reach him from above.
"Edward," I said just a little louder.
"Edward!" I called.
"EDWARD!!!!" I screamed. I screamed louder than I have ever screamed before. I was sobbing into my hands.
"Miss, you are disrupting the rest of us that are trying to enjoy our surprise cruise." I looked up, into the eyes of someone who resembled my math teacher.
"Sorry." He walked away. That set me off harder. If I could see him, one more time, before...But I was already dead. There was nothing I could do. At some point, Bailey sat down next to me. She held me and rubbed little circles on my back. That made it worse. She was just Alice's size, too. She couldn't be more then 12 years old.
"Oh, God. Just let me go back. Please." I looked up at the clouds as I said it.
"You will, in another 18 years. In the meantime, lets go get something to eat." She said, and grabbed me by the arm. I guess she is more like Alice then I thought. She pulled me along corridors with such familiarity, it freaked me out. I mean she had been here for the same time I had, we had died in the same hour as I found out later, how did she know this place so well? Before I knew it, we were sitting down at a cafeteria, and I had asked as much.
"Oh. Well, you see, there's this book called Elsewhere. It explained everything, but I don't think we really are dead. I am probably just dreaming. I mean, you are definitely not real. The stuff of fiction that the great goddess Stephenie Myers came up with. Elsewhere is fantasy, too. There is just no way that I am dead, and I get to meet Isabella ‘Bella' Swan."
"I am real." I said lamely, after her speech was over. Who is Stephenie Myer?
" If you are real, then Ed-I mean Alice is, too. That means vampires are real. That means I am dead. That means I died without meeting or becoming a vampire. That really sucks." She said, clearly disappointed with her life.
Oh no, not the part about being dead. Just about the part that she died without meeting a vampire. I wish I could pin a stereotype to that, like ‘Typical teenager' but I am a teenager, too. So, that would defeat the purpose. Though she did seem genuinely sad about that so I said:
"You want to know what I first thought when I woke up?" she nodded. "I thought that you were Alice." She smiled and started to eat her pancakes. I picked at the food in front of me, now that our conversation was over.
Over the next few days, I tried to not think of our destination. Bailey did try to cheer me up with how great Elsewhere is. She said something about Marilyn Monroe being a therapist there until she was to young to talk. As if. Mostly, I tried to imagine I was on a cruise that Charlie put me on, because he was tired of me being to mope-y around the house. Death was definitely not what I expected. In fact, it may even be worse then life.
Because life, at least, had Edward in it.
Even if he didn't want me, I was comforted by the fact that he existed somewhere in this world.
Now I didn't even have that.
- Within Temptation
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