Dear Edward, I can't help but wish that you will miss me now that I am gone. After all, we had a lot of great times together. Though I hope you won't feel guilty and go and try to kill yourself, as I know you will try. It's not your fault that I am dead. It's mine. I didn't even attempt to move out of the way when the car came. Okay? But I do hope you let everyone know that I will miss them. Even if they hate me as much as you do, just let them know that. I hope you lead a normal life now, one with a normal vampire girlfriend, one where you are happy. Forever yours, Isabella Marie Swan
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I walk into the living room, where Carlise and Esme are curled up.
If I were Edward, I would know that they were thinking of a lost daughter. If I were Edward, I would know that Esme was thinking that it was worse then having her baby boy die. But I'm not Edward. So I hear only silence.
I walk into the kitchen. I see Jasper there, staring into the refrigerator. It is full of tasty snacks that none of us would eat.
If I were Edward, I would know that he was thinking about how our leaving was his fault. If I were Edward, I would know that he would never forgive himself for what he did. If I were Edward, I would know that he was thinking of the one meal that he and the rest of the family had cooked just for Bella that one day in the summer. But I am not Edward. So I hear only silence.
I walk upstairs, and into Rosalie's room. I see where she is sitting by her window looking out and into the forest.
If I were Edward, I would know that she was thinking of how terrible she was to Bella. If I were Edward I would know how strong the guilt was that she felt. But I'm not Edward. So I hear only silence.
I walk across the hall and into the game room. I see Emmett staring blankly at the black T.V with the controller hanging uselessly in his hands.
If I were Edward, I would know that he was full of remorse. If I were Edward I would know that he was thinking of the sister that he didn't get a chance to know nearly as much as he liked. But I'm not Edward. So I hear only silence.
I walk into my room and into my closet. It is full of my clothes, and clothes that I had bought for Bella. I look at Bella's future. I see nothing.
If I were Edward I could have returned to her, and saved her from her gruesome fate. I could have consoled her in her silence. I could have saved her...But I am not Edward. So I can do nothing.
I walk into Edward's room. He is lying down on his couch, staring up at the ceiling.
If I were Jasper, I feel the horrible, emptying pain and suffering that he is going through. If I were Jasper, I would be able to console him. If I were Jasper, I would be able to let him feel relief. But I am not Jasper. So I feel nothing.
The house is silent. Not a word is spoken. Nothing. I am not Jasper, nor am I Edward. I am Alice. And Alice, the poor pixie, can do nothing. She would, if she could. But she promised she wouldn't. She can do nothing for the silent family in the house, or for the silent girl. Who had died thinking that her family hated her.
- Within Temptation
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