Renesmee begins to explore her romantic feelings for Jacob. It's the day he's been waiting for. When danger arises for both of them, how far will they go for each other? Renesmee's POV
15. The Will to Live
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Seth opened my door for me before going over to the driver side, climbing in, and starting his old, blue truck. What a gentleman. I thought. Seth had always been a sweet guy. He was always in a good mood. He had always been playful with me in my childhood. He was a good playmate then, just like Jacob. Jacob had been more mischievous though. I let out a small laugh at that thought.
“What’s funny?” asked Seth. There was a hint of nervousness in his voice. He was worrying about Rachel.
“I was just being nostalgic.” I laughed a little. “I was thinking of what good playmates you and Jake were when I was small.” Seth let out a small laugh as well.
“You know, Nessie. I think Jake was lucky to imprint on you.” He smiled genuinely at me.
“Why’s that?” I asked him curiously.
“Well, he’s known you your whole life. And he can spend eternity with you if he likes. You live forever. He could just never stop phasing and live forever with you.” Seth sighed, the smile leaving his face a little. “I wish I could find someone that I could have forever with.” I stared at Seth for a few moments, taking in what he had said. The chances of him finding a half-breed were pretty slim, but I couldn’t say that.
“Seth, I’m sure you’ll find someone one day.” He looked up at me with a crooked smile.
“I hope you’re right, Ness.” He put the truck in park. I hadn’t even realized we were there. Seth cut off the engine and looked over at me with a little terror in his eyes.
“You ready?” I asked with a smile. He sat there, not saying a word.
“Don’t worry.” I said, laying my hand on his. He let out a big breath and stepped out of the truck. He ran around the truck quickly to grab my door. Whoever he did end up with would be a lucky girl. We walked up to the house. I noticed there were no cars in the drive. Paul’s parents must have gone to deal with the funeral arrangements. I wondered if Rachel had gone with them. We walked up the front steps and Seth gave the door two sharp raps. No one answered. He tried again. No answer.
“There’s someone in there.” He said. I knew that already though. I could smell them. There was definitely a human inside. Why were they not answering?
“Perhaps, she can’t hear over the music.” Seth’s hearing was a bit better than mine. I pressed my ear to the door. I could hear it too. There was music playing somewhere in the house. Seth reached down and twisted the knob. The door opened. I was disappointed. Rachel was in the house alone with the door unlocked, and there were dangerous vampires on the loose. She knew better.
We stepped into the house. I had never been in Paul’s parents house before. Paul and Rachel had lived together in a small place near Jake’s. It was larger and nicer than some of the homes in La Push. It was very clean and smelled like Paul’s mother lit candles often. It was decorated in deep burgundy and dark forest green. There were potted plants, decorative candleholders, and bowls filled with fake, decorative fruit. It looked very cozy. Seth walked out of the kitchen and turned to walk down a hallway. I followed, but stopped at a picture on a table. It was of Paul and Rachel on their wedding day. They had married only a year ago. They looked so happy in the picture. I smiled, but the smile quickly faded when I thought of Paul’s absence. They were soul mates, true soul mates. How was she going to survive without him? I heard Seth gasp. I looked to see what was going on. He was standing in the doorway of the bathroom, his mouth hanging open and his eyes bulging in terror. I ran to the doorway and looked in. I sucked in a sharp gasp.
Rachel was lying limp in a bathtub full of bloody water. One of her hands was dangling out. Blood was dripping to the floor from a gash on her wrist. I ran to her side and pulled her out of the tub. I put my ear to her chest. I let out a sigh of relief. She was just unconscious. She was still alive. I picked her up.
“Seth, go get something to wrap her wounds with before she loses any more blood.” I spoke as I walked past him into the bedroom across the hall. I lay her gently on the bed. I looked back, but Seth was just standing there staring at me, blankly.
“Seth!” I yelled. He jumped a little and looked down at me. His eyes were completely engulfed in terror. Great. I thought. He’s in shock.
“Just stay here with her.” I said sharply as I ran past him to the cabinet outside the bathroom. I opened it and searched for small towels. I found some and ran back into the room. I began wrapping them around Rachel’s wrists securely to stop the blood flow. Seth was sitting on the bed with me, his eyes fixed on Rachel.
“Seth, honey?” I tried to communicate with him again. His head snapped up, and his eyes met mine.
“Can you call Carlisle and ask him to come right away?” I watched him closely. His eyes went from mine back to Rachel.
“Seth?” I was starting to worry about how much this was affecting him. He closed his eyes tightly and shook his head. He opened them and looked back up to me.
“Um, yeah.” He said as he pulled a cell phone out of his pocket. He walked out of the room, searching for Carlisle’s number. I went back to concentrating on securing the small towels around Rachel’s wrists. I could hear Seth’s voice in the next room speaking to Carlisle. Seth walked back into the room just as I finished trying the second towel around Rachel’s right wrist.
“Carlisle’s on his way.” I met his eyes and gave him a nod. His eyes shifted back to Rachel. We both sat there in silence for a few moments.
“I always thought Rachel was too strong to do something like this.” He said, finally. His face was scrunched up in pain. I met his sad eyes.
“I know. I did too.” I let out a sigh, and looked back down to Rachel. A tear slid down my cheek.
I sat in the living room with my mother and father, while Carlisle was in the bedroom with Rachel. I sat in a chair clutching the photo of Rachel and Paul I had been looking at earlier. I couldn’t keep my mind from replaying the event of the past hour over and over. My father sighed.
“Renesmee. Stop it. You’re torturing yourself.” I looked up and met his eyes. They were filled with worry. I looked down again.
“Sorry.” I said as I stared down at the picture.
Their smiling faces stared back at me. I had never known Rachel to be anything other than blissfully happy. She and Paul had been together since before I was born. It was hard for me to think of one without the other. I realized it hadn’t really sunk in with me that he was gone. It obviously had with Rachel. The shock of what she had done to herself caused reality to coming crashing down around me. There was something out there. And it was after the wolves. It was after my Jacob. I felt a hand on my knee. I looked up to see my father.
“Don’t worry. We’re going to catch them.” I gave him a short nod.
The front door swung open. Jacob ran straight to me, followed by Seth, Leah, and Sam.
“Oh, baby.” He pulled me into a hug. “I’m so sorry you had to see that.” He planted a kiss on my hair. I held him weakly. I was completely drained. In the past two weeks I had seen Jacob barely escape death, Rachel in hysterics over Paul’s dead body, and Rachel lying in a pool of her own blood in the bathroom. I didn’t know how much of this I could handle.
“Renesmee?” I turned quickly at the sound of Carlisle’s voice. “She wants to see you.” I nodded and walked down the hallway toward the door. As I was walking, I heard Jacob asking Carlisle how Rachel was. His voice was strained with worry. Even Jacob was beginning to break with all that had happened. He was one of the strongest people I knew. I took a deep breath and opened the door.
Rachel was lying on the bed, large bandages on both her wrists. She looked up at me. Her eyes were large and glistened with tears. She was staring into space.
“Hey Rach. How are you feeling?” I attempted a small smile. A few tears spilled over onto her cheeks.
“Not so good.” She glanced at me for a moment, then, resumed staring into space. I had no idea what to say. I fumbled with the sleeves of my pullover and stared at the pattern sewn in the comforter. We sat in silence for a few moments. She was the one who broke it.
“How could you do this to me?” Her voice was cold, like ice. My eyes shot up to find her looking at me sternly. I felt my brow crinkle in confusion.
“Do what?” I had absolutely no idea what she was talking about. She let out a sigh of disbelief.
“You should have just let me die.” Her hardened expression changed to pain. “I don’t know what I’m going to do without him.” I could tell she was speaking more to herself than me. She sighed. I looked down and fumbled with my sleeves again.
“I’m sorry.” My voice was small. My head was pounding. Thoughts were rushing through it. I couldn’t seem to dwell on anything. I heard Rachel let out a sob. Tears began falling down my face too. I remembered her crying over Paul’s body. That stupid leech. I thought. This is all because of that stupid leech. The hatred that had been seething under the surface broke through. I let it take me over.
“Nessie?” I looked up at Rachel. She looked a little scared. “A-Are you ok? You look… angry.”
“I am.” I said, simply. I took a deep breath and let myself relax a little. “You know what, Rachel? I’m not sorry. I’m glad I didn’t let you die. Paul wouldn’t want you to hurt yourself.” Rachel didn’t say a word. She just stared at me. “The thing is. I know how you feel. Two weeks ago, I thought Jacob was dead. I almost ran off after whoever did it to beg them to kill me to. Sam wouldn’t let me. I was angry with him too. I’m glad he didn’t let me do it. Not just because Jacob’s alive, but also because that would give too much satisfaction to the leeches that did this. Rachel, you need to find the will to live. Because we’re going to find the vampire that killed Paul… and we’re going to kill him. You will have the satisfaction of knowing that he one who killed Paul will be dead too.”
Rachel had stopped crying completely. She just stared at me with caution. She looked absolutely terrified.
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