Renesmee begins to explore her romantic feelings for Jacob. It's the day he's been waiting for. When danger arises for both of them, how far will they go for each other? Renesmee's POV
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"You can't be serious." Leah said through a laugh. I was glad to see she was taking my crisis so seriously.
"Leah, I'm serious. You can't think about this when you're patrolling." I was starting to wonder why I even told her about my feelings for Jacob. Now he'll find out way before I'm ready to tell him.
"Oh please." Leah began laughing at me again. "Like your problems are what I'm thinking about?"
"Leah, just promise me Jacob won't find out until I'm ready." I was getting annoyed by how funny she thought this was.
"Ok, ok. My lips are sealed, and it's locked away in the back of my mind." She shook her head. "I can't believe you're freaking out this much over Jacob." She laughed as she devoured a bag of chips. The way she was acting was so strange, not at all what I had expected. It was like she had been expecting this or something.
"How could I not freak out? He's my best friend. He's been there for me my whole life. I don't want to ruin it by telling him I'm in love with him. I mean, what if he thinks I'm stupid and starts feeling awkward being around me." I was basically hyperventilating.
"Oh yeah, I'm sure it didn't make things awkward when you ran out of the room the other night instead of just talking to him." She laughed to herself about my embarrassing actions on my birthday. "Besides, Jacob could never think you're stupid." At least she was trying to be reassuring.
"Listen, I freaked out. I wasn't ready to tell him how I felt. It was too soon. I didn't know what to do." I tried desperately to defend my childish behavior, even though I was ashamed of myself for it. I've never been the type of person to run away from things. I guess I've never been in a situation where I had to. The look in Jacob's eyes that night had just been too much. I couldn't think straight with him staring at me that way. If I hadn't left the room I would have confessed everything to him right there and I couldn't do that. I needed to know how he felt first.
"Look, why don't you just talk to him about it." Leah's tone suggested that this was no big deal. Did she think it would just work out in normal conversation? How would you even bring something like that up?
"Oh, hi, Jake. Thank you so much for the amazing car you gave me. By the way, I'm in love with you." No. That simply wouldn't work. He would laugh in my face if I said something like that.
"I don't think I can do that. I'll get nervous. It'll all come out wrong." Just thinking about it made me nauseous. There's no way I'd finish the sentence, and it wouldn't help things if I threw up on Jacob's bare chest.
"How on earth are you keeping this from your parents?" Leah asked, thinking of my father.
"I think about something else. I'm sure he knows something's up. It's not normal for me to translate entire books into French." I laughed a little thinking about my decoys to keep my father out of my head.
Leah laughed at me and shook her head. "You can't have personal French lessons in your head forever, Nessie."
"I know." I said, beginning to worry about what to do again.
"So what's the plan, then?" She looked like she was taking this more seriously now.
"Well, I'm not sure. I've been thinking maybe I should avoid Jake for a while." My heart nearly plopped out of my chest at that thought. No Jacob? Could I really bring myself to do that?
"Nessie, don't you think that's a little rash?" She looked at me with a seriously concerned expression.
"Probably, but I have to figure this out without him around to cloud up my mind." That was when I decided. I was going to try to stay away from Jacob. I would have to make something up, some reason why I couldn't see him. How long would I be able to keep it up?
"So, are you going to go tell him you don't want to hang out anymore or something?" Her voice was a little shaken.
"No, that would be too painful. I'm just going to stop hanging out with him." My heart faltered again. Just for a little while. I thought to myself. "I'm quitting, cold-turkey."
Leah looked at me with doubt in her eyes. She scrunched her mouth up. "Wow. Good luck with that." I thought I could see a hint of a smirk in her mouth. What was with her? Did she know something I didn't?
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