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Second Chance

Summary:
Bella finds out nobody buys her 'im over Edward' act, not ever charlie. whats the point of acting anymore. what's the point of living? this is Bella's suicide. or at least she tried, maybe she gets 'saved' by someone she thought was lost from her forever. can she and her true love get over their endless issues and get back together or will they fall apart.


Notes:
here's to my awesome Beta!


2. rude awakening

Rating 0/5   Word Count 1418   Review this Chapter

Waking up from sleep to excruciating pain is shocking. It makes you regret waking. Passing out from blood loss, from a suicide attempt, then finding yourself still breathing is bewildering. Seeing the cause of it all right beside you, gently pushing your sweaty hair off your forehead with his icy finger tips and whispering apologies all the while is…indescribable.

When I saw Edward beside me I think my heart stopped for a second. I cried and he just clutched my hand in his and told me he loved me. I’m not sure about how I feel about him saying that. At this point, I'm not sure when precisely, but he has lied. There are two contrasting things he’s told me and I’m just trying to figure out which the truth is.

“Hello Bella.” He whispers at first. My vision is blurred by the pain. That’s when I recognize it. This burning sensation throughout my veins, like James’ venom which I remember so clearly. “I’m sorry my darling. Truly. You were so far away, so far gone, this was the only way to save you.” He looks worried. This is what I wanted for so long, now I have it and just as I wished it was he who changed me, yet why do I feel this sad about it? I shake as a powerful wave of pain rolls through my spine. My teeth chatter from the effort of not screaming. His expression is tainted with so much guilt. This must be the reason. Maybe he can undo this and get on with his next distraction. Maybe he can suck the venom out like he did with James, I can try again later.

“How far am I?” I manage.

“Middle of day two my love.” His cold hand sweeps across my forehead, cooling comfortably. “I had Carlisle pump you full of morphine, it thankfully knocked you out for the first day, I remember that being the most painful.” He sighed. I look around and I recognize our surroundings, it’s his bedroom at their old house. Memories, I tried so hard to suppress, surface. I feel a fresh batch of tears wash down my face. “Do you need some more love?” He asks as he scrutinizes my expression.

I simply nod. I’ve never been much for medication but clearly it helped. The more time I can spend unconscious the better. He speaks quietly to Carlisle in his office.

“Hello Bella,” Carlisle smiles brightly. “You’re looking better”. He injects more painkillers into my arm, I don’t feel it compared to the fact that my flesh is on fire.

I fall back asleep but wake again to Edward humming a familiar song. What is he still doing here. I don’t get it.

“hello again, I brought something for you.” He holds up Romeo and Juliet. “I thought It might distract you from the pain.” He reads the whole play in one sitting, speaking each line with his velvety voice. Whenever he reads Romeo, I think of my fateful 18th birthday. Even though I drift in and out of consciousness, his voice stays with me. I try to absorb every second of this. He’s a smart guy, he probably realizes I tried to kill myself over him, that a human can only take so much pain at a time, that this can take care of the emotional kind. How thoughtful Edward. I try to tell him, my throat is too sore. I try again.

“This is really thoughtful Edward.” I think he realizes when I do that my voice is musical suddenly. It’s a shockingly pleasant sound. The kind young pop stars would kill for. “Thank you.” I smile.

“My pleasure.” He smiles my favorite crooked smile and I have to look away. Stupid Edward and his stupid terrific acting skills.

The pain has dulled substantially. I guess my transformation is coming to an end and I am almost complete. With my new extra-strength hearing, I can actually hear my heart beat slow. Ba-bump ba-pump ba- bump…bump…bump. The finality rings in my ears. I am officially dead.

I am still lying in his bed. Sweat soaked sheets wrapped tightly around my legs. “Edward?” I cringe at his name, I may have a new voice but it’s still impossible to say with a straight face.

“Yes bella?” When I look up at him I realize he has been looking my way for a while. He smiles again when he catches my eye.

I’m fixed now, you can stop playing! I feel like yelling. but instead I say, “Could I take a shower?” I feel disgusting. Covered in sweat and dirt. The dirty clothes from my humanity cling to my uncomfortably.

Before Edw-HE answers there is a knock at his door. I get out of bed and answer it, awed at my speed and grace. I swing the door back, finding not only will my regular human force for ANYTHING will be too much and the rest of the Cullens. Emmett chuckles about the surprise in my eyes.

“Wow Bella, you look great.” Alice surveys my new physique. I’m not ready to be buddy-buddy with her anymore. She wouldn’t even say good bye to me. I understand Jasper needed her but having the love of my life leave me was definitely something I would have wanted her around for.

“Thanks Alice.” I try to force smile, but I can feel my eyes remain untouched.

Esme walks over to me, “Alice is right, you really do look lovely.”

I hate being the spotlight. They know that. I feel my arms coil around my middle and my shoulder raise to my ears. Great, I’m virtually indestructible but I’m still susceptible to emotional pain. The Cullens give me a look. it’s like the one Charlie gave me but each a different version specifically fitted to each face. I just want to disappear. I really don’t want to be here anymore. If only there was a big enough rock for me to hide under, maybe then I could-

“Bella!” They scream as a rock launches it’s self through Edward’s massive window and landed on me. As if it had a mind of it’s own. “What just happened?”Asks Alice.

“HOLY CRAP BELLA!” Emmett being the strongest, throws the rock right back out as everyone else gathers at the gaping hole at the side of the house. I don’t move. Edward doesn’t either. He just stares at me.

“There’s nobody out there.” Declares Esme confused.

“Who could have thrown with that precision? Known exactly where Bella was standing?” Jasper wonders aloud.

“I’d like to meet that guy.” Emmett chuckles.

“I think it was me” I murmur. They all turn to stare at me.

“What?” Rosalie speaks for the first time.

“What are you talking about?” Alice walks over to me to stare at me intently. It’s as if she thinks my eyes will explain why I just blamed my self for a boulder crashing through the window to flatten me.

“No really. I-“ I stop, realizing how stupid I sound. I’m so sure it was me though. I may be painfully shy now but I will tell them. They loved me once. “I think it was me.” I repeat after an unnecessary breath. “You guys were staring at me and I felt uncomfortable and I wished for a rock to hide under.” I watch the floor intently.

“Well try it again.” Carlisle transforms from supportive father figure to medical researcher in a snap. “I'm not trying to pressure you, but that’s a pretty astonishing power you might have. I’d like to conduct a few tests. If you don’t want an audience, you can come down to my office and we can figure this out in a couple minutes.” His hand lands lightly on my shoulder. I nod.

“I’d just like a shower.” I ask timidly “If that’s okay. I’m just covered in human gunk.”

Emmett roars with laugher. “Same old bella, I’ve got admit. I didn’t think her hilarious human ways would stay with her for the next life. That’s hilarious.” The rest of them laugh politely and file out, leaving me alone with HIM.

“Bella.” He murmurs coming closer. I duck out of his intense gaze.

“I'm going to take a shower.” I say much to quickly. I can’t be alone with him. It’s him and his silly mind games that turned a normal girl into an empty suicidal shell. I dart into his bathroom, looking around for a towel. Just then I hear Alice’s voice.

“Bella," She calls through the door, forgetting about my new ears. “I’m sticking a towel just inside the door for you.”

“Thanks.” I call back.