Bella finds out nobody buys her 'im over Edward' act, not ever charlie. whats the point of acting anymore. what's the point of living? this is Bella's suicide. or at least she tried, maybe she gets 'saved' by someone she thought was lost from her forever. can she and her true love get over their endless issues and get back together or will they fall apart.
here's to my awesome Beta!
Rating 5/5 Word Count 1510 Review this Chapter
After Leaving Edward I ran a far enough distace from him and then walked-at a not exactly human pace, im having trouble moving slow enough to ever be categorized as human. I need practice. I walked through the trees briskly, my mind clouded.
I could barely think of one thing at a time. a billon new thoughts flying at me every second-that’s what it’s like in a vampire mind, busy and crowded. It’s a relief to arrive at the winding driveway to the Cullen’s house. I may not really be comfortable here but right now it’s the only place I can go. I have come to the conclusion Rosalie is right, it is not sensible for a newborn to hurl one’s self at this new world without guidance. I could train myself for the upcoming eternities and then leave.
As I get about halfway from the house I can hear the conversations. I’m so worried about them, the kids I mean. , Whispers Esme to Carlisile so I shut them out. There is yelling, I can hear it louder and louder. I run right to the house and duck in the door and up the stairs unnoticed, following the voices.
“She’s a big girl now! She can make her own decisions Edward, she’s completely different now!” Yells Alice. They are in his room. I hesitate on the stairs, waiting, not sure where to go.
“She’s too young, she can’t make an informed decision Alice!” Edward yells back. “She doesn’t understand yet!”
“This is all your fault Edward, you and your stupid safety scheme! If it weren’t for that, then none of this would have happened!” She sounds so emotional. Her voice wavers in a slightly. “You always think you know what’s best, you think you’re just sooo smart just because you can read people’s innermost thoughts. But you don’t have a goddamn clue about anything!” She screams.
The door flings open as Alice tries to storm out to her room then she sees me there. “Uh… Bella…I didn’t know you were there.” She says truthfully. His head whips up, his eyes widen when he sees me.
“Clearly.” I say glaring at them. I don’t understand what they were talking about but I get the feeling it had to do with me.
“Bella…” He begins.
“I don’t even want to talk to you Edward Cullen. You make me fall inlove with you, then you whisk yourself out of my life, leaving me alone with myself. Then finally, when I find a away out, you slam that window on my fingers. How dare you act like you know whats best for me! You don’t even know me anymore! You changed me, you made me someone that I never wanted to be! Why don’t you just take off to be with one of your precious distractions! Don’t you EVER make choices for me.” I begin to breathe unevenly, I picture that stupid kimono that I left in the forest floating its own way right here. Sure enough, it makes its way up the stairs. “Alice, I believe this is yours.” I thrust the pile at her, running down the stairs.
“Hey,” Rosalie opens her door. “Want to come in?” She asks with her eyebrows furrowed.
“Yeah, thanks.” Inside is a well decorated large room with high cellings and a large amount of blood red and velvet.
“Rose, I thought we were going to…” I only then realize Emmett is on the large circular bed. He raises his eyebrows suggestivly.
“Out. “ she opens the door for him.
“What?” He gets up though. “Rosie?”
“Out. Now.” She pushes him out the open door. Then she pulls me to the bed and pats the place beside her. Her legs pull up into a cross legged position. “How was Charlie?” She asks. Her eyes are filled with a sympathy that I'm not totally comfortable with.
“He’s not doing too well.” I can’t look up, instead I bite my lip. “He just sits there, not smiling or getting excited about the excellent shots his favorite teams make. He just stares at the screen not watching. His bed was unslept in. He just sits on the couch eating microwaveable meals and left overs from lasagna I made last week…” I curl my legs up to my chest.
Rosalie hushes my dry sobs and hugs me in a very maternal way. she smoothes my hair and rubs my back until I feel better. “Does your mom know?”
Renee…I hadn’t even thought of my mother. Has she heard? I honestly don’t know. How can I? It’s not as if I can ask Charlie if he’s called her. I can’t email her to ask if she knows. My hairbrained mother always thought I’d move back to Florida with Phil and herself, that this arrangement with Charlie wasn’t permanent. How will she take the news that I have died here and am never ever coming home?
A new round of sob break loose, there is a quick knock at the door. It’s obviously a Cullen but I can’t recognize the scents yet.
“What the hell do you want?” Rosalie barks in the direction of the door.
“Just let me talk to her. She needs to understand.” The door knob twists. Rosalie looks to me, my eyes widen and I shake me head 'no'. “Get lost Edward, she doesn’t want you here. Leave us alone. And send Alice.”
“Right here.” Alice speaks throught the door. “Let me in.” I sigh and pop the door open, undoing the lock from my position, leaned up against Rose. “Wow Bella, you’re getting really good at handling your power!” Alice appraises the lock thing.
“Thanks.” I sniff and the three of us curl up in the blankets like I would imagine normal non-undead teenagers do.
For the next few hours we did shallow slumber party things. Rosalie painted my toenails, Alice did Rose's, and I painted Alice’s. I found that with my hands made of marble, they were much more steady and able. I actually managed to make tiny little flowers on each nail without much concentration. The conversation had been easy and fun until Alice told a story about a highschool student thirty years previous. We all thought the same thing, when would I start my endless cycle of high school experiences.
“It’s really not so bad.” Rosalie says as she gathers me up in her arms again.
“Yeah you just keep making new friends and we’ll be there no matter what.” Alice joined our hug.
“Alice, why didn’t you say good bye?” I ask suddenly. The nail polish caps it’s self and each bottle on the bed lines themselves up neatly on a set of drawers. “I thought you cared about me.”
“Oh Bella, it all happened so fast. Jasper felt so bad about what happened on your eighteenth birthday, he had to go away for a while. So naturally I went with him, we were only supposed to be gone a week or so, we left that night for Tanya’s coven. But Edward got to thinking, we only heard from Carlisile and Esme but they tried to convince him otherwise, that he could stay but he insisted on moving. I had a vision, of what happened so I called but he said it was for the best.” Her eyes burn into mine, pleading for me to believe her. “I told him a billion times not to do it and then he made me promise to leave you alone, a clean break…” She trails off,
“Then suddenly I saw you, dying. I told the family what happened and I called then I called him. Did he tell you he ran to your house from Brazil? In an hour? that's the fastest i've ever seen him run!” I shake my head . “Well he did, it’s really a miracle that he got there in time, that there was still enough blood in you, enough to save you. It was easily the riskiest transformation Carlisile ever preformed, or heard of. I wont get into technicalities of infecting blood and giving you transfusions with it.”
“I'm so glad you made it Bella, our family’s been broken since we left.” She squeezes me tighter. “I can’t even tell you how hard it was not to be able to tell you what happened. And now you understand it all-well almost all…” They exchange a look.
“What?” I question them both.
“Bella, I know he hurt you and he’s an idiot but you have to talk to him eventually. It’s taken a lot of him to even try to talk to you once, the fact that he keeps trying…well we can’t discoursge him. Please, just talk about what happened.” Alice pleads.
“No!” I pull away. “He is in my past. I can’t bring him here again, I don’t know if I can survive if he tells me how he really feels again.”
“Look, if you end up staying with us, you’re going to end up seeing him all the time. Things will be akward until you figure them out together.” Rosalie adds.
“No and that’s final!” I say firmly, effectively closing the subject in a distinctly permanent manner.