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Desperate

Summary:
I know there's a few of those stories where either Jacob or Leah imprint on someone in another pack but this is different. What if imprinting doesn't always grant happiness and love? The night Leah Clearwater imprinted she was desperate to be rid of her love for Sam. Her imprint's name is Nick and he's a werewolf from another pack in the east. He's dealing with a pain that may be just as great as hers. She's dedicated to her imprint and he to her but neither of them feel the love that's supposed to come with imprinting. Sometimes even imprinting can't cure a broken heart. Can they fall in love the normal way? On top of all of this the soul mate and imprint of one of Leah's pack brothers is killed by a fellow werewolf. The pain and guilt is tearing her pack apart. Somehow it all keeps getting worse from there. Is there really such thing as happily ever after? Or is life just agony and sadness? So I decided I loved this banner best! It was made by my lovely beta Delenda!


Notes:
I know what you're thinking... 'WHAT she's writing ANOTHER story even though she's in the middle of two!' Well... I'm stuck, in both of my stories. So I started this one! I was just listening to Desperate by David Archuleta and I started to think about Leah. So this story popped into my head and I wrote it down. And I do not own the Twilight series obviously. I know there's a disclaimer at the bottom of this site but I like to be safe and put it in here anyways. Enjoy!


10. Chapter 10: It Ends Tonight

Rating 0/5   Word Count 1744   Review this Chapter

Your subtleties
They strangle me
I can't explain myself at all
And all the wants
And all the needs
All I don't want to need at all

The walls start breathing
My mind's unweaving
Maybe it's best you leave me alone
A weight is lifted
On this evening
I give the final blow

When darkness turns to light,
It ends tonight
It ends tonight

Days passed, and things got both worse and better. The deaths of Kim, Jared and Paul was taking its toll on everyone. We were all constantly bickering and fighting. Our pack family was falling apart, but there was however a nice bright side. I was continually escaping the other werewolves, and spending time with my Nick. We would spend late nights talking in the living room, where he slept, and we would often fall asleep sprawled on the hard floor. Each day I fell deeper and deeper and deeper in love with him.

I fell in love with his glowing smile which always seemed to become more sincere each time it spread across his face. I fell madly in love with his laugh that didn’t seem as forced and formal as usual. I fell in love with his ever warm embrace, and the way he tried to cheer me up even when he was invariably down. I fell in love with how intently he listened to what I had to say, the advice he gave, and how he just really understood me.

About two weeks after the funeral, I discovered something miraculous about Nick and I. Nick had decided to finally let his pack know he was fine, and he was reporting about news they had hadn't known. My mood was a little dim when he wasn't here to brighten it but I didn't let that effect the others. Tonight, few of us were at Sam and Emily's, and this was the first time in forever that I wasn't intact with the romance that surrounded us. Sam had just swept Emily into a passionate kiss that made all the others, but Quil, grumble and look away. Usually I would have glared daggers at the happy couple but I didn’t. Instead I found myself laughing at my three pack brothers’ expressions.

The room went silent and everyone turned to stare at me. I barely noticed. I was flying, I was free.

For so long I’d clung desperately to my love for Sam. I had chained myself up like a prisoner with feelings and memories I refused to forget. Now the weight of that burden was gone and I felt no pain at all, only joy and bliss. Nick had healed me in the very short time we’d been together and I loved him. I loved him more then I’d ever loved Sam. Finally the full effects of imprinting were setting in.

I thought that it would be the same for Nick. We’d never kissed or held hands with romantic intentions or done anything lovey dovey but I thought that he might love me too by the soft look in his large brown eyes when he looked at me. I thought I might be healing him like he was healing me. I was wrong.

It was the same day that I realized my heart was healed that Nick broke it again.

A falling star
Least I fall alone.
I can't explain what you can't explain
You're finding things that you didn't know
I look at you with such disdain

The walls start breathing
My mind's unweaving
Maybe it's best you leave me alone.
A weight is lifted
On this evening
I give the final blow

When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Just a little insight won't make this right
It's too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight

I got home from the "Uley's" just as the moon was dimly showing through thick storm clouds that threatened to release the rain. I knew it would start pouring at any given moment, but I skipped through the front door whistling cheerfully anyways. I ran and sat daintily next to Nick on the couch with a huge smile on my face. I was nearly singing with love.

“Someone sure is happy.” he chuckled, putting his arm on the couch above my neck. I smiled at the gesture and started to reach for his hand.

“I am happy!” I exclaimed, but stopped my arm from moving towards his when I saw his expression. He raised his eyebrows.

“Weird time to be happy,” he remarked, I only grinned and answered back, meaning every word.

“There’s always happiness amongst new pain in the healing of the old.” I told him, his eyes softened and his head leaned down towards mine, and I closed my eyes, ready for his lips to find mine.

We were interrupted when my house phone started ringing and I jumped to my feet to answer it.

“Hello?”

“Um, hi is Nick there?” a timid female voice asked, I was mildly confused at this, who would be calling for Nick?

“Sure,” I said, suspicious of the caller. I rolled my eyes at myself thinking how I was just being stupid.

I walked back into the living room and held the phone out to him. He took it looking as bewildered as I felt.

“Hey,” he said into the phone.

“Nick?” I heard the girl ask.

“Talia?” he gasped in disbelief. My stomach fell to the floor.

“Ya it’s me,” she whispered.

“Where did you get this number?” he asked.

“You gave to to Alex in case of an emergence, and I uh, got it from him.” She replied.

“What do you want?” I could tell he was trying to sound angry but he sounded sad instead.

“I want you to come home. I’m starting to wonder if I made the right choice. I want you back. Come back home to me. Please, Nick I love you.” She pleaded.

“Of course baby!” Nick exclaimed. “I’ve missed you so much! I’ll be home as soon as I can.”

I didn’t hear her reply. I think my heart stopped beating. I gasped for air and clutched the edge of the couch to keep from falling over. In that instant I hated Talia more then I’d ever hated anyone before. That little demon was trying to steal my Nick!

“Leah?” Nick’s voice echoed through my horror.

“You’re leaving me?” I asked even though I already knew the answer.

He didn’t love me. He never had. I should have seen it, should have realized how this could have happened.

“Yes.” He said. “But you’re my friend, my imprint. I don’t want to leave you.”

I flinched at the word friend.

“Come with me.” He told me, taking my hand.

“No.” I pulled away from him angrily. Did he really think I’d go watch him have his happily ever after with the idiot who was stupid enough to leave him in the first place?

Nick looked surprised by the coldness in my eyes. Then he glared.

“I want you here.” I explained quickly. “Not with that disgusting, freaky, idiotic…” I struggled to find a word horrible enough to describe her.

Nick grew angrier with each insult I directed at his ex-fiance.

“I don’t want you!” he yelled. “I’d rather be with anyone else. I don’t know why I stayed so long....”

I’m sure I looked as shocked as if he’d slapped me. I tried not to cry but my voice shook.

“So you’re going back to that whiny heart breaker?”

“Are you mad at me for taking her back? That’s so hypocritical!” He spat.

“Explain how that’s hypocritical?” I snapped back.

“Are you kidding me? If Sam came to your door begging to have you back you’d forgive him in a heartbeat.” He said.

“No I wouldn’t.” I disagreed. “I don’t love him anymore. He hurt me too much. Besides, I wouldn’t do that to Emily. Not after knowing how it feels.”

"Then why should I stay?" He nearly yelled. My eyes started to water. Minutes passed, and neither of us said a word.

"Because I love you." I whispered. But he didn't hear me, He had thrown a chair down. Anger thrashed across my mind, and I yelled, nearly screaming at him.

"No! I changed my mind! GO! I hate you!" I cried as I said the words I knew I would regret all of my life. I slid to the floor, grabbing my sides, and screaming with horror at the thought of him with Talia. The anger faded from his face and he shook his head.

“You’ve changed Leah.” He murmured before running through my front door and jumping off my steps, phasing mid-leap.

He didn’t take any spare clothes or anything. He just left. Left La Push, left my house, left me. I stared numbly after him.

My eyes closed, sealed tightly shut, and I closed my mouth, not making a sound while inside I was screaming, sobbing, dying. This was a thousand times worse then Sam. Sure Nick would be happy and I could be glad of that but that was only a tiny spark of happiness amongst my world of pain. I wanted to take back everything I’d yelled at Nick and tell him how much I loved him again and again, but I couldn’t. It was too late and I hated myself for it.

I got up and staggered out the front door that Nick had left flung open. It was raining like I had predicted by the thick storm clouds earlier. I looked up. The pouring drops gave the illusion that the sky was falling. I stared into the torrent letting icy cold rain splatter my face like it wanted to wash away the dark hurt from me and wondered...

Why me?

Now I'm on my own side
It's better than being on your side
It's my fault when you're blind
It's better that I see it through your eyes

All these thoughts locked inside
Now you're the first to know

When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight
Just a little insight won't make this right
It's too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends

When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight
Just a little insight won't make this right
It's too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight

Tonight
Insight
When darkness turns to light,
It ends tonight