Rosalies POV of chapter 7 in eclipes, when she tells Bella about her life as a human.
1. Chapter 1
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Bella was being stupid. Who could want this life anyway?! I certainly didn’t and she shouldn’t either. She had no idea how jealous I was of her- she was human. I had to change her mind. I couldn’t just let her waste her life like that. I walked quietly up to Edward’s room and lightly knocked on the door.
“What, Alice?” Bella hissed from inside.
“It’s me,” I said softly, opening the door enough so she could see me. “Can I come in?” I hesitated.
“Of course,” Bella replied, surprised. “Come on in.”
She sat up and slid to the end of the sofa she was sleeping on to make room. I moved silently over to sit down next to her. Her blood smelled delicious…
She looked at me curiously.
“Do you mind talking to me for a few minutes?” I asked. “I didn’t wake you or anything, did I?” I eyed the stripped bed then looked back at her couch. Silly human.
“No, I was awake,” of course she was, she was in a house full of vampires. “Sure, we can talk.”
I heard the alarm in her voice and laughed lightly. “He so rarely leaves you alone,” I said. “I figured I’d better make the best of this opportunity.”
If she looked frightened before, she looked terrified now. What, did she think I was going to kill her and suck her blood? I wouldn’t risk it with Edward.
“Please don’t think I’m horribly interfering,” I pleaded gently. I folded my hands and looked down as I spoke, choosing my words carefully. If I offended her too much, Edward would never forgive me. “I’m sure I’ve hurt your feelings enough in the past, and I don’t want to do it again.”
“Don’t worry about it, Rosalie. My feelings are great. What is it?”
I laughed again, sounding oddly embarrassed. “I’m going to try tell you why I think you should stay human- why I would stay human if I were you.”
I smiled at how shocked she sounded, and then I sighed.
“Did Edward ever tell you what led to this?” I asked, gesturing to my perfect body.
She nodded slowly, suddenly somber, “He said it was close to what happened to me that time in Port Angeles, only no one was there to save you.” she shuddered at the memory.
“Is that really what he told you?” I asked.
“Yes,” she said blankly with confusion. “Was there more?” Of course there was more. There was way more then I wanted.
I looked up at her and smiled bitterly. “Yes. There was more.”
She waited while I looked out the window- trying to remember every detail of my perfect turned terrible, human life. I tried to calm my self from some of the memories.
“Would you like to hear my story, Bella? It doesn’t have a happy ending- but which of ours does? If we had happy endings, we’d all be under gravestones now.”
She nodded, seeming to be frightened at my tone.
“I lived in a different world then you do, Bella. My human world was a much simpler place. It was nineteen-thirty three. I was eighteen, and I was beautiful. My life was perfect.”
I stared out the window at the silver clouds in the moonlight, remembering everything- as I did often. It was like I was back in the time of my story, as I told Bella. A simple, beautiful, human girl living my perfect life happily. Not even knowing vampires existed or that I would one day become one; the way I wished it would have stayed.
When I got to the part about my friend’s baby, I paused for the first time- remembering his sweet little face, the black curls, the dimples when he smiled.
“There were a few things I wanted that were more meaningful. One thing in particular. My very closest friend was a girl named Vera. She married young, just seventeen. She married a man my parents would never have considered for me - a carpenter. A year later she had a son, Henry, a beautiful little boy with dimples and curly black hair. It was the first time I’d ever felt truly jealous of anyone else in my entire life.”
Bella looked at me with unfathomable eyes. I wonder what she thought of me now.
I continued talking about my many wants, but that one in particular. Then I started telling her about Royce King the second and all kindness left my voice and was replaced with hate.
“He was everything I wanted. The prince to my princess. We were engaged before I’d known him for two months.” I said bitterly. “Plans went ahead for the most lavish wedding. It was going to be everything I’d ever wanted. I was completely happy. I was no longer jealous of Vera. I pictured my own fair haired children playing on the huge lawns of the Kings’ estate, and I pitied her.”
I broke off suddenly, clenching my teeth together. The horror was not far off now - It was almost the end of my story. I promised Bella an unhappy ending, and that’s what she was about to get.
“I was at Vera’s that night,” I whispered. “Her little Henry really was adorable, all smiles and dimples - he was just sitting up on his own. Vera walked me to the door as I was leaving, her baby in her arms and her husband at her side, his arm around her waist. He kissed her on the cheek when he thought I wasn’t looking. That bothered me. When Royce kissed me, it wasn’t quite the same - not so sweet somehow…I shoved that thought aside. Royce was my prince. Someday, I would be queen.”
I felt my white, cold face get paler.
“It was dark in the streets, the lamps already on. I hadn’t realized how late it was.” I continued to whisper almost inaudibly. “It was cold, too. Very cold for late April. The wedding was only a week away, and I was worrying about the weather as I hurried home - I can remember that clearly. I remember every detail about that night. I clung to it so hard. . .in the beginning. . .”
I sighed and began whispering again. “Yes, I was worrying about the weather. . . . I didn’t want to have to move the wedding indoors. . . I was a few streets from my house when I heard them. A cluster of men under a broken streetlamp, laughing to loud. Drunk. I wished I’d called my father to escort me home. And then he called my name.
“ ‘Rose!’ he yelled, and the others laughed stupidly.
“I hadn’t realized the drunks were so well dressed. It was Royce and some of his friends, sons of other rich men.
“ ‘Here’s my Rose!’ Royce shouted, laughing with them, sounding just as stupid. ‘ You’re late. We’re cold, you’ve kept us waiting so long.’ ”
“I’d never seen him drink before. A toast, now and then, at a party. He’d told me he didn’t like champagne. I hadn’t realized that he preferred something much stronger.
“ ‘What did I tell you John,’ Royce crowed, grabbing my arm and pulling me closer. ‘Isn’t she lovelier then all your Georgia peaches?’
“The man named John looked me over like I was a horse he was buying.
“ ‘It’s hard to tell,’ he drawled slowly. ‘She’s all covered up.’
“They laughed, Royce like the rest. Suddenly, Royce ripped my jacket from my shoulders - it was a gift from him - popping the brass buttons off. They scattered all over the street.
“ ‘Show him what you look like, Rose!’ He laughed again and then tore my hat out of my hair. The pins wrenched my hair from the roots, and I cried out in pain. They seemed to enjoy that - the sound of my pain. . . .”
I looked at Bella suddenly. Her face was as white as mine.
“I won’t make you listen to the rest,” I said quietly. I tried not to remember the rest myself. That night was too terrible. . . “They left me in the street, stilling laughing as they stumbled away. They thought I was dead. So I waited in the road to die. It was cold, but there was so much pain I barely noticed. I wondered why I wasn’t dying. It was taking too long. . . .”
I told her, then, how Carlisle found me, smelling my blood. How he had tried to save me and I hated him for it. How much I wanted to die. Then how he pulled me off the ground and ran with me as I was slipping away. Then when he bit me and the intense burning started, I begged him to kill me. How when I woke up and realized what I was, and how beautiful I was.
I paused and thought for a second. Then I smiled, my expression triumphant.
“You know, my record is almost as clean as Carlisle’s,” I told Bella. “Better then Esme. A thousand times better then Edward. I’ve never tasted human blood.” I announced proudly.
I understood her expression when I said almost as clean.
“I did murder five humans,” I told her in a complacent tone. “If you can really call them human. But I was very careful not to spill their blood - I knew I wouldn’t be able to resist that, and I didn’t want any part of them in me, you see.
“I saved Royce for last. I hoped that he would hear of his friend’s deaths and understand, know what was coming for him. I hoped the fear would make the end worse for him. I think it worked. He was hiding in a windowless room behind a door as thick as a bank volt’s, guarded outside by armed men, when I caught up with him. Oops - seven murders,” I corrected my self. “I forgot about his guards. They only took a second. I was overly theatrical. It was kind of childish, really. I wore a wedding dress I’d stolen for the occasion. He screamed when he saw me. He screamed a lot that night. Saving him for last was a good idea - it made it easier to control myself, to make it slower -”
I broke off and looked at Bella. “I’m sorry,” I said in a chagrined voice. “I’m frightening you, aren’t I?”
“I’m fine,” she said, though it sounded like she was lying.
“I got carried away.”
“Don’t worry about it.”
“I’m surprised Edward didn’t tell you more about it.”
“He doesn’t like to tell other people’s stories.”
I smiled and shook my head. Oh, Edward. “I probably ought to give him more credit. He’s really quite decent, isn’t he?’
“I think so.”
“I can tell.” then I sighed. “I haven’t been fair to you, either, Bella. Did he tell you why?”
“He said It was because I was human. He said it was hard for you to have someone on the outside who knew -”
My laughter interrupted her. Did he really say that? “Now I really feel guilty. He’s been much, much kinder to me then I deserve.” Bella wasn’t really that bad once you got to know her. I felt so much better about her now. “What a liar that boy is.”
“He was lying?” she asked, suddenly wary.
“Well, he just didn’t tell the whole story. What he told you was true, even truer then it was before. However, at the time. . .” I chucked nervously. “It’s embarrassing. You see, at first, I was mostly jealous because he wanted you more then me.”
As I said this, Bella looked suddenly scared.
“But you love Emmett. . . ,” she mumbled.
I shook my head, amused. “I don’t want Edward in that way, Bella. I never did - I love him as a brother. But I was so used to people wanting me. And Edward wasn’t the least bit interested. It frustrated me, even offended me in the beginning. But he never wanted anyone, so it didn’t bother me long. And then he met you.” I looked at her with confused eyes. She seemed to be in deep thought, then her lips pressed together in a hard line. Had I insulted her?
“Not that you aren’t pretty, Bella,” I said. “But it just meant that he found you more attractive then me. I’m vain enough that I minded.”
“But you said ‘at first’. That doesn’t still. . .bother you, does it? I mean, we both know you’re the most beautiful person on this planet.”
She laughed at having to say the words. It was obvious, wasn’t it?
I laughed, too. “Thanks, Bella. And no, it doesn’t really bother me anymore. Edward has always been a little strange.” I laughed again.
“But you still don’t like me,” she whispered.
My smile faded. “I’m sorry about that.”
We sat in silence for a moment. I knew what she was going to ask, and I was deciding on how I should answer it.
“Would you tell me why? Did I do something. . . .?”
“No, you haven’t done anything,” I murmured. “Not yet.”
She stared at me, perplexed.
“Don’t you see Bella? You already have everything. You have a whole life ahead of you - everything I want. And you going to just throw it away. Can’t you see that I’d trade everything I have to be you? You have the choice that I didn’t have, and you’re choosing wrong!”
She flinched back from my fierce expression, and her mouth opened in shock.
I stared at her for a long moment. I shouldn’t have said it like that.
“And I was so sure I could do this calmly,” I shook my head, dazed by the flood of emotions. “It’s just that it’s harder now than it was then, when it was no more then vanity.”
I stared at the moon in silence. She was never going to see my side now.
“Would you like me better if I stayed human?” she finally asked.
I turned back to her. My lips twitching into a hint of a smile. “Maybe.”
“You did get something out of your happy ending, though,” she reminded me, “You got Emmett.”
“I got half,” I grinned. “You know that I saved him from a bear that was mauling him, and I carried him home to Carlisle. But can you guess why I stopped the bear from eating him?”
Bella shook her head.
“With the dark curls. . .the dimples that showed even while he was grimacing in pain. . .the strange innocence that seemed so out of place on a grown man’s face. . . he reminded me of Vera’s little Henry. I didn’t want him to die - so much that, even though I hated this life, I was selfish enough to ask Carlisle to change him for me. “
I smiled kindly. “In some ways, you are much more mature then I was at eighteen. But in other ways. . .there are many things you’ve probably never thought about seriously. You’re too young to know what you’ll want in ten, fifteen year - and too young to give it all up without thinking it through. You don’t want to be rash about permanent things, Bella.” I patted her head.
“Just think about it a little. Once it’s done, it can’t be undone. Esme’s made do with us as substitutes . . . And Alice doesn’t remember anything human so she can’t miss it . . . . You will remember, though. It’s a lot to give up.”
“Thanks, Rosalie. It’s nice to understand . . . to know you better.” Bella said.
“I apologize for being such a monster.” I grinned. “I’ll try to behave myself from now on.”
She grinned back at me.
“I’ll let you sleep now.” my eyes flickered over to the bed, and my lips twitched. “I know your frustrated that he’s keeping you locked up like this, but don’t give him too bad a time when he gets back. He loves you more then you know. It terrifies him to be away from you.” I got up and silently walked to the door. “Goodnight, Bella,” I whispered as I shut it.
“Goodnight, Rosalie.” I heard her murmur.