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First Year

Carlisle made the difficult decision to change 13 year-old Sunny into a vampire before her cancer could kill her. This is Sunny's first year as a Cullen and a vampire.


6. Chapter 6: Alice and the Tantrum

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Clara's POV

Even with my new vampire sight, everything was very dark. I was being wheeled down a long corridor, strapped down to a gurney as it moved closer and closer to a pair of double doors at the end of a hall. I could hear screaming. It took a moment for me to realize that it was coming from me. There were other voices around as well but they were muffled and indistinct. I felt a sense of dread as I was pushed closer to the doors. I didn't want to be where I was. There was something wrong with this hospital, something bad, evil.

The double doors opened and I was now surrounded by screaming that wasn't my own. There were more voices and these were clearer. Some of the voices screamed for help, some screamed for attention. Some were screams of pain. I was wheeled into a hospital room and finally the straps that held me were undone. My freedom was temporary. I was immediately lifted off the gurney and placed into a twin bed, only to be strapped down a second time.

I had no idea what was happening to me. I was confused. I found myself calling out. "How could you do this to me? Why? I am not crazy! I don't belong here! Do you hear me? I'm not crazy!"

I heard a familiar voice, pleading with me. "Clara, wake up. Please." I didn't understand. Everything went black before a series of random images suddenly burst into my head. The first was of a happy little girl playing with another girl. They looked so much alike they could have been sisters. There was another image of one of the girls, the smaller, dark haired one, holding her head, and screaming as people (what looked to be her family) looked on in horror. Then there was a doctor, not Carlisle, but an older man, picking a dark haired young woman up and stealing her away. The next image was of the same doctor bending over the girl and biting her neck. There was a flash of Jasper in a diner and another image of Alice and Jasper on the doorstep of a huge house that I didn't recognize.

That was when I noticed something solid in my right hand. I sat up with a start, staring around my room in total confusion. Alice was beside me on the bed. She was staring at me with a peculiar look of horror and desperation on her face. When I realized I was holding her arm, I let it drop from my fingers as if it had burned me. "Oh god, Alice!"

"Clara. You saw it…my life…my past" she gasped.

"I'm so sorry Alice. I must have turned in my sleep. I'm so sorry." My voice cracked. I would have cried if I could.

Alice was suddenly in my face, grasping my wrists in a hard grip, her eyes alight with eagerness and desperation. "Try again, Clara. Please, you have to." She picked up one of my hands and placed it back on her wrist herself.

Nothing happened. We stared down in shock at the same moment, both waiting expectantly, but after several moments, there was still nothing. I took my hand off her wrist for a moment before tentatively reaching out and taking her hand.

That did it. I got a flash of a couple standing by the gurney as it was being wheeled down that long, dark hallway of the hospital. The woman was crying. The man, who I assumed to be her husband, was stoic, completely unemotional.

I saw Alice, strapped to that gurney, screaming, thrashing, and pleading. I saw her fighting even after she was strapped down in bed, crying out long after she was alone in her room.

I saw the older doctor enter her room after she was quiet. Alice looked drugged. The doctor just stood by her side until she opened her eyes. He was older, balding with black, shadowed eyes. There were several more images of him watching Alice, protecting her, guarding her.

It seemed like the next image was of a time about a year after the others. Alice looked almost exactly the way she did now. The balding vampire doctor had Alice in his arms and was running frantically in the woods from some unseen menace. There was a brief glimpse of another vampire, a man with long blond hair, and red, wild eyes, obviously tracking something as he too raced through a wooded area. The vampire holding Alice suddenly stopped and looked down at her with apologetic, sorrowful eyes before he bent down and bit into her neck. The next thing I saw was Alice, alone and writhing in pain in the woods.

I finally let my hand drop from Alice's, feeling completely drained and exhausted. I couldn't bring myself to look at Alice as I slid off the bed to put some distance between us. I needed time to process what I had just seen, just as I was sure Alice needed time to digest what my ability had just revealed to her. Her family had abandoned her. A vampire had taken an interested in her and kept her safe. Another vampire had become a threat and that threat had forced her transformation.

It was then that I remembered the images that I had seen when I had inadvertently grabbed Alice's arm in my sleep. She had found Jasper in a diner. It looked as if that had taken place soon after her transformation. It looked to be in the same time-period. I let out a huge sigh as that thought sank in. I looked around me, reminding myself that I had seen the past. Alice was fine now, happy, and loved and safe.

When I finally managed to turn and face her, she was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching me expectantly with her face resting in her hands. She actually looked as tired as I felt. "Are you alright?" My voice sounded rough with emotion and stress.

She stared at me for a long moment before getting to her feet slowly and approaching me, a look of apprehension now crossing her face. "Yes," she replied cautiously. "Clara, are youalright?" There was deep concern in her eyes as she watched me. I was confused.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Alice, what I saw…that had to hurt, finding out about all of that. I shouldn't have looked…I'm so sorry…"

To my utter amazement, Alice shrugged. "I already knew that part."

I just blinked at her. "You knew?"

She laughed at my bewildered expression. "I did research last year. I knew I had been abandoned in the hospital. I found out two years ago that I was turned by one of the doctors after another vampire, a tracker, took an interest in me."

At least this all wasn't as much of a shock to her as it was to me. I nodded slowly, all of the emotion that it had taken to get through watching my vision finally became too much. Alice had me in her arms before my legs gave out. I found myself sitting on the bed again a moment later. The exuberance that radiated off Alice's personality whenever I was around her helped to lift some of the fatigue I was feeling. I frowned at her. "You could have told me that you knew that part. You should have stopped me, Alice." A whimper escaped my lips. "My god, Alice. That was horrible."

She reached out silently and put her arm around my shoulders. Her voice was soft and apologetic. "You're right. I am so sorry, Clara. I wasn't thinking. I just…I had so many questions for so long, things that I couldn't find in my research. When you had that vision, my curiosity got the better of me." Her voice was filled with sadness, "please forgive me, Clara. I shouldn't have let you see that. It was selfish. I'm so sorry."

I threw my arms around her neck. I couldn't help it. I knew that she had no memories of her past. I knew that she had been alone when she awoke to her new life as a vampire. How could I be angry with her for wanting to fill in the blanks? She had a right to know. "No, Alice. You're not selfish. I would have done the same thing in your place. I'll try again sometime, ok? Later, when I feel better, I'll look again. I'll help you get your answers, ok? Don't be sorry."

She pulled away from me, looking intently in my eyes, searching for confirmation of my resolve. She grinned as she saw it. I meant every word of my promise. I was going to help Alice and she knew it. She nodded firmly once then abruptly got to her feet in front of me. "So, now how do you feel?" She was eyeing me critically.

I smirked at her sudden mood swing and slowly got to my feet. "I'm alright," I managed. The fatigue was passing and the idea that I could help Alice with her questions made me feel much happier.

She nodded again as she took my hand and pulled me toward the bedroom door. "Good. We have work to do. You need school supplies and new school clothes." She looked back at me with the same critical expression. "Maybe we should do something new with your hair."

I would have laughed at her if I could manage to get it out over the knot in my stomach. "School? You mean you're making me go back? Now?" I looked down at myself pointedly. "Alice, how the heck am I gonna go back? Look at me! I don't look human! What am I going to do if I accidentally touch someone? I can't control my abilities! This is bad, Alice. This is a really,really bad idea!" I could feel myself starting to hyperventilate.

Alice stopped short and put both hands firmly on my shoulders, staring into my eyes sternly. "Calm down," she commanded slowly. "Edward, Rose, Emmett, Jasper, and I do this every single year, Sunny. You'll learn. Don't worry."

Easy for her to say, she wasn't going to have to fend for herself in a strange place when she had no control over her abilities. She wasn't going to have to go through anything all alone.

Alone. I'll have to go into this completely alone. I whimpered again as this thought sank in. "I can't do this by myself, Alice. I can't."

Alice pulled me tight against her. "I'll be watching you all the time, Clara. You won't really be alone…and Edward, you know he'll be mentally checking in every few minutes. Do not worry about this."

Without waiting for a response, she dragged me down the hall. "Anyway, we still have a few days to work out the details. Right now, we have more important things to worry about."

I just let her pull me along behind her. I was still too terrified by the idea of being all alone around human strangers for eight hours a day to pay attention to anything else. More important things. Right, I thought. What was more important than figuring out how I was going to get through even one day of school without exposing the entire family for what we were? If I made even one mistake, one minor slip and our entire world could end. How could they all think this was a good idea? How could Carlisle and Esme not object? What were they all thinking? They obviously had way too much faith in me to even consider letting me do this.

I had to talk to them. They had to understand how horrible this idea was. I wasn't ready. I couldn't do this. They had to see that it was too soon.

I didn't realize that we had stopped moving until Alice gave me a firm shake. "Clara! You're panicking again. Stop it!"

I blinked, shaking my head firmly to clear it while I tried to get my erratic breathing under control. "Ok," I finally breathed after several minutes, "I'm good now."

Alice was staring into my eyes intently, studying my face for any sign that I would lose it again. I tried to smile. "Really, Alice. I'm fine." My smile slipped a bit as I listened for any other signs of life in the house. "Where is everyone?"

Alice sighed heavily. "Hunting. Well, Jasper, Rose, Emmett, and Esme are hunting. Carlisle is at the hospital and Edward is with Bella." Her eyes narrowed at me. "And you're not obsessing over this now. We've all discussed this thoroughly, Clara. I don't see there being any problems with letting you go back. You're getting yourself all worked up over nothing. You need to calm down."

"You all discussed this already…without me, Alice? Really?" I yanked my arms out of her grip, glaring at her. "How could you do that?"

She sighed in exasperation. "Oh, for the love of…"

But I didn't let her finish. I was already down the stairs and had the front door open when I heard Emmett's giant jeep enter the garage. Without even thinking about it, I slammed the front door and wheeled around, changing course and stomping towards the garage. They are going to talk to me! We are all going to be on the same page! I am NOT going back yet! They have to understand!

With all these thoughts rushing through my mind, I thrust open the garage door and stomped towards my family.