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Undecided

Summary:
Edward goes to the meadow to think, but is confronted by one of his worst enemies.


Notes:


1. Chapter 1

Rating 5/5   Word Count 1200   Review this Chapter

I stormed out of the house, not wanting to hear any of it.

“You’re going to have to do it someday!” Alice called after me, loud and clear. I growled loudly and ran towards my car. I wasn’t going to Bella’s, like I always would have, but off somewhere else. I needed some time to think. I was stubborn in my decision to keep Bella human. She didn’t deserve to spend forever concealing who she was. She was an angel that deserved to go to Heaven. But I knew the truth of it. The truth why I was so scared to change Bella. I was afraid that maybe…she wouldn’t love me after all of it. Maybe after all the pain and the horror of the transformation, she would decide that I was a monster not worthy of her.

I shook my head out of my thoughts. Bella would never do that. No matter how much I doubted it, I couldn’t deny her feelings. Just remembering what she did after I left was devastating to me. I clutched the steering wheel and drove on to a secluded road. I didn’t want anything to disturb my thoughts.

But driving and getting lost in my thoughts wasn’t easy. I would always veer of course and almost hit a tree. Or a deer. I stopped the car and sat back in my seat. An idea suddenly hit me. The meadow. I could always think there. I turned the car around and sped off towards the meadow. The smile crept onto my face. I haven’t been there since…I didn’t want to think about it. I shook my head and parked my car in front of the forest. I got out of the car and looked around a few times. When I was sure that nobody was watching, I took off into the forest.

I pushed branches and twigs out of my way, navigating my footing perfectly. In a few seconds I jumped through the trees and into the meadow where Bella and I professed our love. I walked over to the middle of it and sat down. I closed my eyes and thought deeply.

To change Bella or not to change Bella…what a question. I was always so hard in my decision. I didn’t even have to think about it. Turn Bella into the living dead? No way. Keep her alive and happy? Of course. It was an easy choice. But a few factors had changed my hand.

The Volturi…they gave me an obvious choice between two options. Change Bella…or kill Bella. Even if the right choice was right in front of my face, I can’t bring myself to do it.

The treaty. We bite a human and every strand of peae would be torn. There would be a war, resulting in either one of the two sides dead.

And…

“What a surprise,” a familiar voice sneered behind me. I jumped up and turned around quickly to see the one vampire, or one of the vampires, I hate standing ten feet away from me. I growled at her menacingly. “What? Can’t I go for a walk?” she asked innocently. She started to circle around me, and I turned with her, determined to keep her face in view.

“Get out of here,” I yelled at her angrily. She was just wishing for a death sentence.

“Why should I? Because I’m on your land?” she asked mockingly.

“Because you are a menace to every living thing on Earth!” I spat. She stopped moving and laughed out loud.

“I’m the monster? I seem to remember you having a ‘rebellion’ as you call it. All those lives you took. And you call me a monster?” she said, prying into my conscience. I regretted every human life I took, to an extent.

“I helped their victims at least! You kill for the fun of it!” I yelled at her. She hit a nerve and I wanted pay back for that.

“For the fun of it? I’m just doing what I was made to do. How does that make me a monster? You’re trying to force another way of life on every vampire you come across! Kill or be killed! It’s the way of life!” she yelled getting angry. She took a step forward. “I bet your precious Bella thinks the same way! She is so eager to join you forever! Too bad she’s not going to live to see it!” she screamed. I crouched down ready to spring. Victoria let out a snarl. “You’re weak,” she snarled at me. “Weak because you can’t act like a vampire. You don’t have the gusts to do anything right,” she said laughing at me. That made me snap. I leapt at her and attacked her with every thing I had. I tore at her and made her suffer. “I pity you,” she said before I ripped her to shreds. I burnt her to ashes with the lighter I carried around for that sole purpose. I ran out of the meadow, it’s serenity damaged because that monster stepped into it. I didn’t need her pity. What does she even have to pity? I have a family and a great life style. And I’m in love with the perfect girl…who’s going to die in ninety years. I frowned at that. It would be a great ninety years then. But why trade ninety years for an eternity? An eternity of have Bella by my side? The evil voice in the back of my head asked.

“Shut up,” I growled at it. I laughed at my self with hardly any humor. I was talking to myself. How could Bella want to be with a crazy vampire forever? I got into my Volvo and drove away from the forest and as far away from the meadow as I could get.

How am I weak? I resisted Bella even thought her blood begged me to clench my thirst. I kept her alive for a year already! And it was a challenge…Just think how much of a challenge ninety years will be, the voice said. Just one bite and then you could have her forever.

“No,” I said to myself. She wants it! “No!” I yelled again. I opened my eyes to see that I was out in front of Bella’s house. I didn’t even remember driving there. Shaking my head I got out of the car and knocked on her door. Charlie was gone so that left Bella alone. She opened the door happily.

“Edward,” she said joyful, as if my presence completed her.

“Hello, love,” I said quietly. She led me inside and to the couch.

“To what do I owe this surprise visit?” she asked jokingly.

“What? Can’t I be with the woman I love?” I asked, putting on my best innocent look. She rolled her eyes and leaned into me.

“I love you,” she said quietly. “I will forever,” she added in quickly. I smiled. Would spending forever with Bella be so bad? No. It would be absolutely perfect.

“I will love you for an eternity,” I whispered in her ear. And I don’t plan on living through it with out you.