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No emotion

Summary:
I'm not happy and i'm not sad. I'm detached, cold and emotionless. I'm Bella Swan and i have no life. ExB All human


Notes:


4. Chapter 4

Rating 5/5   Word Count 3160   Review this Chapter

“Uh…I… uhm…”

That was my brilliant reply. He said that I interested him and I said uh. There’s got to be something wrong with me. There were so many clever and flirtatious and just better lines I could have uttered but no, I had to be yet again the idiot who did not know how to speak.

And while I was mentally smacking my head against the wall he was probably wondering what the hell was wrong with him as well, since there was no fucking way he found my utterly goofy and moronic reply interesting. He even waited for me to find my words but there was none. I sort of blushed and stammered some more before he announced that we had finally reached the exit.

I looked up hesitantly to see him kind of smirking at me.

“See you at school.”

I kept looking at him until he got in his car and blatantly stared back at me. I quickly cast my eyes to the ground and like the dork I am, I headed to my car, head down and colorfully mortified. I shied a glance at him and was even more embarrassed to see he was laughing his head off while pulling out of the parking lot. Great, just fucking great.

I didn’t let myself think about him again that day. Every time a tinge of mortification managed to creep into my mind after that little incident, I suppressed and pushed it away immediately. I busied myself with books and movies once again, leaving no room for unwanted thoughts of a certain green-eyed asshole.

Saturday is probably one of the worst days of the week. The fact that there’s no school is surprisingly not a good thing, for that means we are supposed to do something fun. The problem is I can’t seem to find the fun in the things people my age like to do. I don’t want to go out with Jessica in yet another club that Port Angeles has established, I don’t like the parties thrown at various houses of students whose parents are currently out of town. And even though I have gone several times at these things, I never seem to enjoy myself unless there’s a great deal of liquor involved.

So I prepared myself for another night-in, another movie and another pile of junk food to be consumed. My kind of fun.

What I didn’t prepare myself for was coming across one of the new kids. It wasn’t Edward, thank God for that, but that little one with the spiked hair and bouncy attitude.

I was in the grocery shop in a mission to fill our fridge and cupboards for the weekend when I saw her. She seemed awfully content for doing something like shopping food. I was kind of fascinated by her. The little smile playing on her lips, her skipping form one place to another instead of walking, her enthusiasm in life itself had me so mesmerized that I didn’t realize she had caught me staring at her and she was now staring back at me. The smile didn’t leave her face, instead she smiled even bigger and skipped towards me. I only then realized just how tiny she was. She was too short but her small features and characteristics made the height look natural on her. If it weren’t for her advanced womanly features I would have thought she were a kid. I was still staring when she finally spoke.

“Hello,” she chirped in what sounded like a bird voice. It suited her.

“Hi,” I mumbled finally feeling the embarrassment for staring blatantly at her.

“I’m Alice,” she went on, “my family and I just moved here. What’s your name?”

“Um…Bella.”

“You’re at Forks High, right? I think I saw you the other day,” she said.

“Yeah…uh…you go there too?”

Such a lame question, though, bless her heart, she didn’t seem to think so.

“Yep. Hey, have you plans for tonight?” she asked, all chirpy and excited.

Yes, I planned to drool over Brad Pitt and eat like a pig. “Uh…no….”

“Perfect. You’re coming with us!”

“Yeah…wait, what?”

I must have looked pretty ridiculous with my eyes wide and mouth hanging open for she giggled a little too loud.

“My siblings and I are going out tonight to explore a little bit of Forks. You can be our guide!” She sort of squealed the last part and if I wasn’t so petrified at the idea of my going out with the Cullen family, I would have laughed at her unreasonable enthusiasm. This girl was weird!

“Um…Alice, this is Forks. There is nothing to see, nothing remotely interesting to do but sit at home. Plus, I haven’t been here that long…I’m sort of new myself,” I explained, hoping she’d drop her pushy attitude and let me be. I kind of liked her but I wouldn’t like her anymore if she kept pushing me.

“Nonsense. There’s got to be something around here,” she went on unfazed.

“Trust me, Alice, there isn’t.”

“Fine, then. We’ll go to Port Angeles.” She seemed to think about it for a minute and then smiled a big toothy smile. “Yes, Port Angeles it is. It’s not too far and with the way Edward drives we’ll be there in no time.”

Gah!

Just his name, made my heart flutter and my cheeks redden with freaking obvious embarrassment. Alice saw that and raised comically her eyebrows wondering about my reaction.

“You’ve met Edward?”

Yes, and I wish I hadn’t. “Yeah, sort of.” That would do for an answer. Alice didn’t have to know about our little incident at the hospital. I was even starting to believe it was a dream or something, too surreal.

“Oh,” she sighed disappointed. I couldn’t comprehend her reaction, it seemed very much like the reaction Dr. Cullen had when I told him about meeting his son.

“Is that why you don’t want to come with us?”

Uh…What? How did she even…? I mean, yes, he was one of the reasons I didn’t want to go out with them but why would she come to that conclusion? She didn’t seem to know about our meeting, so what had her thinking that I didn’t like her brother? Was he such an ass in general that he would drive away every person that approached his family?

“Wha…Why do you say that?” I could have said no, being the polite girl that I am, but I didn’t want to lie to her since Edward was the main reason I wouldn’t hung out with them. That sounded pretty pathetic in my head, I didn’t need to voice it out loud.

She seemed to be trying to read my face, since my answer didn’t satisfy her.

“My brother is…” she began, “a very complicated person.”

That was the understatement of the century. Besides the obvious I-don’t-give-a-shit attitude and his silent brooding, he found me, of all people, interesting. If there isn’t something wrong with him, I am a two-legged cow.

“He doesn’t really behave well towards strangers, towards most people actually,” she said apologetically, “he’s…”

“…been through a lot?” I finished her sentence because I had heard that one before.

“How…?”

“Your dad…sort of told me,” I explained.

“You met Carlisle?” She seemed surprised but otherwise pleased.

“Carlisle?”

“Yeah, Carlisle Cullen, he’s a doctor.”

“Yes, I did meet him. He’s very nice,” I added because…well, I didn’t know what else to say.

“Yes, he is,” she agreed with a pleasant smile. “So anyway, do you have a problem with my brother?” she asked impatiently.

“Um…no…I mean…”

“Awesome. We’ll come pick you up at seven. What’s your address?”

“Whoa…wait a minute. I didn’t say…I didn’t…” I stumbled upon my words because this girl was seriously messing with me.

“Forget the address. Tell me your last name and I’ll find out where you live,” she went on completely ignoring me.

“It’s…it’s Swan, but Alice…I can’t come…I….” Think of an excuse, think of an excuse, think of a fucking excuse!

“Nonsense. You have no plans for tonight and you are surprisingly not offended by my dear brother. We are new in town and you are the first decent girl I have met around here. Please come?”

What the hell is it with this pouting? She seemed like a five-year-old girl who just got denied a Christmas present. How can you deny anything when you see this face?

“Uh…okay.”

“Perfect!” she squealed out loud, clapping her hands together. And grabbing her cart filled with food, she headed towards the cashier waving at me. “See you tonight, Bella!”

What the fuck did I just get myself into?

Jeans or no Jeans? That is the question.

I was in serious trouble with the whole going out with the Cullens thing. Not only did I not want to go but I didn’t know what to freaking wear. What if I dressed up and we ended up at the park or something? Or what if we went to a fancy restaurant and I was severely underdressed? Damn you Alice and your heartbreaking pout.

The only good thing in this fucked up situation was that Charlie couldn’t be any more thrilled. Not only was I going out on a Saturday night but I would be with the Doctor’s children. Ever since they got here, Charlie did nothing but worship the ground they walked on. Well, that was a bit dramatic but seriously, just because Dr. Cullen chose a small town to live in instead of a big one which would offer him more money, doesn’t make him a saint. Sure, it was kind of admirable but we don’t know anything for the guy. For all we know he could be some kind of a serial killer and want to add Forks victims to his collection of dead bodies. Okay, that was a bit dramatic too. But the only thing I could think of was Edward and his strange behavior.

Allowing myself to think about him, I recalled watching him at school. He didn’t seem to cause any trouble but he didn’t seem happy either. He looked arrogant as hell, like he deserved to be in better places than Forks High. He had that cocky attitude, especially towards women, that really bugged me. And even though he was gorgeous, he didn’t show any interest for any of the girls. Well, except for me, something that I was starting to think it was a joke. I mean, of all the people in this town, he chose to pay attention to the most boring one? This dude has some serious issues.

Finally deciding on a pair of black pants --- not casual but not too formal either --- a grey v-neck shirt, and my Bordeaux All-Stars, I figured that if we were to go to a club or a fancy restaurant, I would just grab a taxi and go home. I didn’t feel like dressing up for no reason, and I refused to consider Edward’s being there as a good reason. I grabbed a black purse to stuff my things in and I looked over my semi-straightened hair once again before heading down. It seemed like I had put a great deal of effort to appear like I hadn’t put a great deal of effort to look good. I just didn’t want them to think I was trying to impress them or something. I was simply doing Alice a favor, nothing more, nothing else. The fact that I kept rehearsing in my head several lines to say to Edward was completely irrelevant. I just didn’t want to embarrass myself yet again in front of him. It was bad enough the first time.

Charlie was sprawled across the couch watching one of his games when I joined him in the living room.

“Ready?” He asked all cheerful and hopeful and just disturbingly optimistic.

“Yeah. They should come pick me up any minute now.”

Silence.

It usually wasn’t so awkward being around Charlie. I mean, we were both not very talkative and we certainly didn’t have much in common so as to discuss about it, but we could at least stay in each other’s company and not feel weird about it. But this silence was too freaking tense. I could see he wanted to say something, something that I definitely didn’t want to hear judging from the way he was fidgeting.

“So,” he started and I winced, “this Edward guy,” he coughed nervously, “what’s his deal?”

What’s his deal? Smooth, Charlie, smooth.

“He’s just a guy in my class. His sister wanted to go out in town and she thought I could show them around. That’s all.”

I made sure to put a cold tone in my voice, wanting to end this conversation before it got too far. I never even had boy talks with my mother, although she perpetually insisted that I share things with her. I wasn’t going to have this talk with Charlie.

“Huh,” he said and I rolled my eyes at him. I would have made a rather inappropriate comment on Charlie’s sudden interest in my dating habits but for the horning sound that was heard.

“Uh…okay then. See you later,” I waved to Charlie and opened the door only to be surprised at the sight of Alice standing right in front of me.

“Whoa…hi,” I squeaked in surprise.

“Hello,” she chirped and without waiting for a reply she walked right past me and into the living room.

“Hello, Chief Swan. It’s very nice to meet you.”

Apparently, Alice had walked right up to Charlie and introduced herself. From what I saw, Charlie seemed rather fascinated by her and I kind of liked that. I mean, I had just met Alice in a grocery store but somehow I felt…I don’t know exactly what but it felt different. I needed a change and Alice seemed like a nice one. I just needed not to screw up and try to be just a tiny bit more interesting than I usually am. At least her brother thought so already. That sounded ridiculous even in my head.

After Alice was done charming Charlie and reassuring him that we would be fine, we headed out. There were two cars in the driveway, the one I had seen previously at school and another one which was freaking beautiful. It was red and shiny and so fucking expensive. I won’t go into details because I’m clueless about cars but damn, that was one hell of a car.

As we approached, I saw that it was the blonde one driving the red car while the big guy was sitting next to her. Getting closer, I recognized Edward’s bronze hair in front of the wheel in the blue-silver car.

“Okay,” Alice suddenly announced when we had reached the two cars. “The blonde one is Rosalie and the doofus next to her is Emmett,” she giggled as Emmett fake-glared at her. They had lowered the car window so they could hear us.

“Hi,” I bashfully muttered.

“You know Edward,” she said, pointing at him while she dragged me closer to his car. “And this is Jasper,” she chirped, happily running her hand through Jasper’s hair, who was sitting next to Edward.

“Hello, Bella,” he greeted me with his deep voice.

I smiled at him but I couldn’t find my voice to say anything because I was rather disappointed with Edward’s lack of response. He didn’t say anything, he didn’t even look at me. He just looked…indifferent. And I was very much annoyed that I actually cared. I refused to believe that he meant his comment about him finding me interesting so why was I expecting more from him? I could see he was a jerk, his father didn’t approve of his attitude and neither was Alice. Why would I want something from him?

“We’ll be riding with Edward,” Alice informed me and skipped towards the back door of the car. Sullenly, I followed her, my previous somewhat-good mood now vanished.

I chose to sit right behind Edward for, this way I couldn’t look at his face and he couldn’t look at mine. Unless he looked in the mirror which was very fucking unlikely since he seemed to have no interest in the current company.

We drove fast, very fast. But I didn’t mind that much because I had Alice distracting me with her loads of questions. She asked me about my coming to Forks, my mother back in Phoenix, my dad, my favorite color and so on and on. In return, she told me a bit about her family which was way more interesting than mine. Apparently, they were all adopted by Dr. Cullen and his wife which made sense since I knew for a fact that Rosalie and Emmett were doing…other stuff along with driving behind us. Alice and Jasper were a thing and I liked it. There was something about that guy that showed me he was one of the few people that could handle the ball of energy that is Alice. However, there was no mention of Edward. Other than the fact that he was adopted as well, his name was not mentioned, his voice was not heard.

The night out was not so bad after all. It was mostly because of Alice. I was not used to having all this attention on me and I generally didn’t like it, but this was different. She seemed like…she actually liked me. And I wasn’t even doing anything but being myself. It was a rare thing to be liked for who you are and Alice seemed to do just that.

We ended up going for dinner at a small but nice place in Port Angeles. Thankfully it didn’t require fancy clothes, although I did feel a little underdressed compared to Alice and Rosalie. But they were so interesting that they kept my mind always on them, never making me feel like I couldn’t wait to go home.

Emmett was apparently the funny guy of the family. However, besides the crude jokes and teasing, he had a heart as big as his size. He was just like a kid, only triple at size. Rosalie was more detached but nice nonetheless. She had Emmett totally whipped but she was equally infatuated by him. It would be the perfect couple to watch if they weren’t so freaking intimate with each other in public. I seriously had to look down most of the times to avoid staring at Emmett’s tongue diving deep into Rosalie’s throat. Too fucking much.

Jasper, on the other hand, was more silent. He joined in the conversation now and then but he was mostly assessing and observing all the things around him, but mostly Alice. He was entranced by her energetic attitude and I could see that on every smile that appeared on his face while he looked at Alice. They were like a couple from the movies, I certainly knew a little something about that.

Edward, however, was…absent. He only talked when someone questioned him about something and to give his order to the waitress. I think he didn’t even look at me the whole night. Alice didn’t bother with him, nor did Rosalie and Emmett. Only Jasper seemed to cast worried glances at him that Edward casually ignored.

By the time the night was over and I was back at home and in my bed, I was pretty much convinced that the incident at the Hospital had never happened.

I was just delusional.