Ten things about the Twilight characters. Reviews are really apreciated, they help me remember to update!! Breaking Dawn spoilers!
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1) She was vain, horribly, wonderfully vain. Sometimes she loved it, loved that thirst that she had to gaze at herself in mirrors, loved the need she felt to hear praise. But some days, not very many days, but some days, she hated it. With blinding passion she hated the feeling of satisfaction she got every time Emmett told her she looked like a goddess, she detestedthe self pride she got from noticing the perfect way her hair fell down her back in a reflection of herself. She loved it most days because it was an easy way to feel great about herself, but she hated it for the same reason; how shallow did you have to be to be so completely pleased by your own reflection. It disgusted her.
2) She really did love Emmett, he was completely and utterly, enough. They all thought that the fact that she yearned for, needed, a child meant that he love for Emmett couldn't possible be complete, but they were wrong. Of course she wanted a child, of course there was a part of her that would always be missing, but the think was that Emmett had filled up another, different part of her. His all consuming love, his goofy grin, his booming laugh, his amazingly huge, clumsy hands, and everything about him, Emmet, her wonderful man, had filled her so completely that there was no possible way that her love for him couldn't be complete.
3) She thought that you should always have a reason for loving someone, it shouldnt just be a spur of the moment type of thing. And so she had carefully constructed reason to love everyone in her life.
She love Alice for putting up with her vanity and for being the sister that Rosalie had always longed for; someone to shop with, someone to tell secrets to, she loved Alice for letting her be a girl without any judgement.
She loved Carlisle for changing her, because even if she also hated him for the same reason, she would have died otherwise, and this new 'life' had brought her Emmett.
She loved Esme for comforting her and for being her mother, and for understanding why she didn't trust herself to love Emmett at the beginning.
She loved Jasper for being the perfect brother, for loving her unconditionally and for being best friends with Emmett.
She loved Edward for being someone she could talk to, not often, but she loved that when she needed to talk, really talk, he always listened.
She loved Emmett for choosing her, for loving her, she loved him for everything about him and for being the only one who could make her feel completely safe.
She loved Renesme for being okay with the fact that her auntie Rosalie sometimes wished she was her daughter.
She loved Bella for giving her Renesme and for not caring that Rosalie sometimes looked at her with jealousy.
4) She had been so scared that night with Royce, when she had been positive that she was going to die. Still now, when she remembers that moment she'll cling to Emmett and wish she were able to cry. And she feels ashamed for still being able to feel the pain of that night but then she loves Emmett even more for telling her that the only person who should ever feel ashamed when thinking of that night, would be Royce.
5) Renesme was wonderful, but sometimes Rosalie hated her for having such a wide grin and such curly long hair, hated her when she made a bet with Jasper or poked fun at Jacob. Because in those moments Rosalie could almost imagine that she was theirs.
6) Everyone thought that the scariest moment in her life had been that time with Royce, or perhaps even after that when she was being changed. But she knew that the most excruciatingly terrifying moment in her existence had been when Emmett was being changed, she had felt like a murderer, a killer, but all she could think about was that she hoped beyond hope that he wouldn't hate her. Because she knew that she was already falling in love with him.
7) Even so, when she realised that he had fallen in love with her too she was scared, she wasn't ready to open up to another man, another man so huge and strong that he could knock her down with just a quick swipe. But then she got to know Emmett and she noticed how silly he was with Edward and how serious he could get with Carlisle and how sweet he could get with Esme and how soft he could be with her; and she gave in.
8) Growing up she had loved being beautiful, loved the attention, the special presents from boys that she always got. But somewhere deep inside of her, she always had a longing to do more; to be able to dirty her dress once in a while, to be allowed to play roughly with the other boys and girls, to be able to let her long hair loose as she ran through the streets. So when Carlisle changed her he was indescribably mad at him, so angry and confused, but there had still been that little girl inside of her who was completely ecstatic at this turn of events, utterly happy to go hunting with her new family, and to let her hair fall behind her as she raced through the forest.
9) If she could ever have a child she would wish it was a girl; a sweet, lovely, graceful girl with tumbling brown curly hair and a alugh too big for her body, a irl with her daddy's love of betting and her mommy's love of shopping and dressing up. She would watch how gentle Emmett would be with her, how protective. And she would be named Emmilie ( a wonderful combinations of their names) and she would be perfect, and she would be theirs.
10) She was a bit stunned at first when she realised that Edward had chosen a human (and a clumsy, mediocre looking one at that) over her. She was a bit pissed that this girl got to have her life and her vampire and she was so angry that this Bella was choosing to throw that away. Nut that night Emmett had held her tightly and whispered soft endearments in her ear like he had since the beginning and suddenly it didn't seen so bad.