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"You Did This To Me" Bella and Edwards Argument

Summary:
Instead of instantly forgiving Edward and the hole disapearing I felt that Edward should see what he had done to Bella when he left, the full effect. This is Edward finding out how much pain he caused Bella in the long months he was gone.


Notes:
-All Stephanie Meyers characters. I am going to post the argument but please, if you have a chance could you review the story so far. Thankyou vair much, love Katie


2. Chapter 2

Rating 3.5/5   Word Count 1390   Review this Chapter

“Alone. . .” I muttered, looking towards Edwards face. It would be hard enough to bare my soul to him on our own, never mind in front of an audience.

Carlise quickly checked my ribs, Edward thought this was the source of my pain, if only, if it was a broken rib it would have healed and I could have forgotten all about it soon enough. It would have been easy to forget these last few months, pretend they never happened, pretend he had never left me. For it to become a taboo subject, never to be mentioned. For me to entirely surround myself with him and let myself fall even deeper into love with Edward. To make the hold he had over me even greater.

But he had left, and it had hurt more than he could ever know, was I still the same Bella?

I knew I could love him again, I still loved him now. I had never stopped loving him, I only stopped acknowledging it because it hurt to much. I couldn’t even let myself be angry with the situation, it had hurt to much even for that. Anger was a passionate emotion, and I had been drained of all passion.

“Jasper, Alice. . .” Edward snapped, clearly exasperated with them still being with us. Alice hugged me tightly, and lingered with me in her arms, she let me go but held onto my hand.

She knew, she had known from the moment I decided to tell him. I looked to Edward, expecting him to know it all now, so I wouldn’t have to tell him after all, out loud anyway. Edward’s eyes were fixed on Jaspers face, no doubt reading what he had seen in my emotions, when it had been happening. So he hadn’t seen, I would have to explain. I hadn’t looked at Jasper since my ill fated birthday last year, Jasper looked as if he was going to be sick. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea” Jasper looked at me, his golden eyes filled with concern “what if it happens again?”

“You’re right, stay. I don’t want that happening again” Edward looked at me trying to work out what was wrong. Jasper had felt what I had been feeling when I had my episode. Poor Jasper. “No, leave don’t worry I’ll be fine, I’ve got it under control” Jasper looked towards me doubtfully.

“I don’t know-” Alice’s face went blank.

“She’ll be fine Jazz, come on” and with that Alice took Jaspers hand and ran with him into the house.

I took Edwards cool hand in my own and led him down to the river bank, I let go, testing my self. My chest was fine, for now. I sat down cross legged upon the cool grass and he joined me.

“Edward, when you left” I started knowing this would hurt him, but I had to hurt him to make him stay. “I have never felt so lost in my life, I’ve never been so alone and so without purpose. If you hadn’t have made me promise not to-” I edited, not wanting to remember the painful conversation. “I would have definitely killed myself within the first week, it was only the fact that you didn’t want me that made me carry on. It would have been no good to kill myself, a relief yes but constructive no, because you wouldn’t have even cared anyway. You let me think that.”

I quickly looked at his face, I was doing it right. “In the first week, I didn’t eat, didn’t drink, didn’t sleep . I have been a mess without you Edward Cullen, no, I haven’t been human without you. And what now you’re back? Are you done with your distractions now? You have hurt me in so many ways, more ways than I thought humanly possible. Everyday has been an uphill struggle, every part of me has been screaming for oblivion, anything to end the pain” I raised my voice, anger spilling into it mixing with my words, tainting them.

“And for what? For my own good? Who are you to decide what is and isn’t good enough for me? You left me Edward, you left me here alone, alone to rot in Forks, you showed me love and then took it away like it never existed! You took my things, my reminders, you took my future, my life my soul.

"You took away my reason for living, the core of my existence, you left me. I have been surrounded by people and yet I have never felt so entirely alone in my life. I wanted to die, you made me want to kill myself because the pain was so unbearable.” I shuddered to think of it

“Laurent. Laurent tried to kill me” a growl escaped his perfect lips.

“And you weren’t here, I could have died, I would have died thinking you never even loved me, and yet just before his teeth sank into my neck, all I could think about was you, and how I still loved you. After all you had put me through. Then the voice, in my head” I took another look up at him. He was definitely scared now, of what he had created, what he had left to grow in his absence. “What voices Bella?” he shook my shoulders gently and looked me in the eyes, I stared back into his deep black eyes. “Not voices. Voice. Your voice”

He was scared before, but he was horrified now “What-” he began, I cut him off before he wrote me off as crazy and left this lost cause forever.

“I’m broken Edward. You broke me. I loved you with all my heart, you were like the cement that held my bricks together and then you took it away, and I crumbled without you, there was no point in me existing. You ripped the matt from under my feet.

"Here’s the consequences, can you still love me now that I’m broken? Commit yourself to ever shattered piece of my fragile heart? It’s been with you this whole time, I thought it was lost forever. Doomed to never love again, but now you’ve returned, I can feel it again, beating away in my chest, as if you never left” Anger rushed though my veins, too long had I been empty of any emotion-aside from pain, but that didn‘t count, and now it overwhelmed me, saturating my thoughts and voice.

“ I hate you. I hate you for what you did to me. Are you happy now? Now you look at what you have created, what you have done to me? I hope you are, I hope you’re ecstatic, job well done Edward. Is this what you wanted to break me so you could come back and pick up the pieces? Why don’t you slit my wrists now?” I offered him my porcelain wrists, he placed his hand into mine.

“Don’t touch me! Don’t you dare touch me. You did this to me, don’t feel sorry for me. You are the only one who can fix me. I love you.”

That’s when I broke down and the tears began to soak my face. “I loved you and you ruined me, you betrayed me. You spoke to the words that cancelled out all the love you ever portrayed to me, I thought it was all a lie. I was a lie. Will you ever hurt me like that again? I can not live through that. Please don’t ask me to, I’d rather you killed me now. A thousand stabbing knives would hurt less. I will keep no forced promises Edward, the pain would have to be stopped, regardless of the consequences”

At first my tears were silent and some what dignified streaking my face, then I started to sob, it was just like that first time I had cried after he left. I raised my knees up to my chest and hid my face in them.

My sobs unbelievably loud, with strange noises echoing from my lungs and throat, my face distorting in pain, grief rippling through me. What had I become? Trying to hurt Edward, I loved Edward I wanted-no needed him to stay. My breathing grew ragged and I shook in pain as I let out a moan that morphed into a plea for help.