Right or Wrong?
Thanks to eternitys_charm for the crazy good banner! Bella Swan is your average teenage girl with a boyfriend named Jacob and a semi perfect life. But what if that perfect life she's come to love is all an illusion and she's just afraid to admit the truth? Edward is gorgeous popular and rich and he's the object of Bella's hate and the only one who see's the real her. When tragedy strikes will Bellla finally see the light and just admit she really loves Edward? Love has consequences but for her it's better then living a lie. Spoiler!Go to my bio to see a sneak peek on the sequel to this story! (All human! Rated teen for some strong language and mature themes.) Thanks to all my faithful reviewers! Next Chapter will soon be up!
14. She waved goodbye.
Rating 5/5 Word Count 1730 Review this Chapter
It’s been two weeks since November and Abel were born and life has never been better, except for the fact that I will be leaving the country soon. For the first week Bella put up a good front and didn’t seem to care much but lately you can see the tired, disheartened truth creep out of her. She’s been doing the same unsure smile that really breaks my heart, the one that keeps me up at night and leaves me feeling the overwhelming ache of guilt in my soul. It’s too bad I can never tell her how I feel. Every time I try to bring it up she goes into hysterics, saying there’s nothing wrong with her and she’s happy then ever, lie after lie consumes me in a ravenous torture. I want to make her happy, I want to leave her in good graces, but I don’t know how. Instead I just smile and say I’m sorry for ever bringing up and tend to the babies as she goes back into a false happiness pretense. I love her and I want to do the best I can for the November and Abel but it’s so hard to do when I know im wrong. How can I make this right?
The babies are essentially, what keeps us so strong, every cry and laugh and smile brings us even closer together then we could imagine. They are so perfect. November’s emerald eyes pierce through you like a spear and her quietness sends you and awe. Abel is aggressive, shrill and always active so his big chocolate eyes never close. Sometimes when im just spending time with Vember he’ll start wailing so loudly that my ears will start ringing in protest and I have to juggle both of them in my arms. Bella just sits next to me and laughs, a true laugh though, a happy one. They’re so different that it scares me half to death just thinking about it, November the gentle, peaceful baby and Abel the noisy, intelligent tyrant. They are my life though, every thing I live and work for, a gift from the other most important person in my life- Bella.
Our wedding day was one of those few genuinely happy times since I told her the bad news; it wasn’t tainted with the mad rush of time and impending loneliness. We were just there, loving each other and the babies, with our family and friends to watch us confirm everything that was meant to be.
“I, Bella Swan, take you, Edward Cullen, to be my lawfully wedded husband, my constant friend, my faithful partner and my love from this day forward. In the presence of God, our family and friends, I offer you my solemn vow to be your faithful partner in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow. I promise to love you unconditionally, to support you in your goals, to honor and respect you, to laugh with you and cry with you, and to cherish you for all eternity.” The tear beads at the corner of her eyes flowed down her cheeks in streams and I tried to hold on to the moment. I could here Abel soft cries and Novembers gentle silence, family sniffling beside each other squeezing hands tight.
“I, Edward Cullen, take you, Bella Swan, to be my lawfully wedded wife, my constant friend, my faithful partner and my love from this day forward. In the presence of God, our family and friends, I offer you my solemn vow to be your faithful partner in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow. I promise to love you unconditionally, to support you in your goals, to honor and respect you, to laugh with you and cry with you, and to cherish you for all eternity.” My voice cracked with each word trying to hold back that overpowering feeling of completion. I was whole, and if I should day fighting I would be content with all that I achieved. This was it, this was my life.
“I now pronounce you husband and wife!” The preacher smiled, “You may now kiss the bride!” A kiss, so powerful that it lit fireworks and knocked buildings down, earth shattering, long lasting, everything you hope for kind of kiss.
“I love you Bella Cullen.” I whispered.
“I love you too.” She replied and the tears stopped as she stared into my eyes.” And I always will. No matter where you are and no matter what you do, you’ll always be in my heart and I’ll always be with you” It was enough to strike me dead right there, enough to break my heart if it wasn’t so blissful and whole.Later…
“Congratulations Edward! Bella! I love you both so much!” My mother was in her own fit of joyful tears as we greeted everybody one by one. A million, congratulation’s, cries and hugs and I love you’s all in one night. I couldn’t keep my eyes off of Bella and her ivory colored gown though, dancing with her dad, playing with the babies, crying with her sisters, holding my hand.
“Hey bro congratulations! Hey you promised a bachelor’s party and there wasn’t even one! Sooo not cool!” Emmett’s big grizzly bear hug took the wind out of me.
“Hahaha Emmett sorry about that! I forgot!” I said struggling to get my air back. Jasper came and shook my hand and I laughed at his grown up approach.
“Wow so formal Jasper! What’s up with that?” I teased.
“You’re a husband now man! And a father, and a soldier! You’re so grown up I can barely look at you!” He chuckled and then swallowed hard before giving me that face that said, im sorry.
“Look Edward, Bella’s going to be fine! Everything’s going to be fine! The worst will be over in no time and before you know it you’ll be sipping margaritas on some island swimming in retirement funds!” He punched my arm and Alice called him over to meet some friends of hers.
“The woman’s calling! Got to go!” He laughed and then scurried off.
“What a wuss I would never let Rose boss me around like that! Shit I’m a man!” My head shot to him and I let out a chuckle.
“Emmett!!” Rose’s shriek was so demanding and violent I think it put the fear of god in him. He was off in a matter of seconds.
“Damn I got to go!” Just then a little set of pale hands reached around my waist.
“Are you having fun?” Bella whispered in my ear. I turned around to see her gorgeous face in the moonlight.
“Now I am.”
“Well everyone’s leaving now so we get to go home, leave the babies with rose, get comfortable in our little house and… oh I don’t know.” She smiled and I couldn’t help but smile back.
“Ugh! I love you so much Bella! Really I do. I can’t say it enough!” I picked her up wedding style and kissed her. Her fingers swept across my face as she gazed in my eyes, I wish I could hear what she was thinking.
“Don’t go.” She said as her face faded into the same distressed, uncertain smile.
“I won’t Bella. I’ll always be here.” I rested my hand on her chest as I set her down and loud laughing came from inside.
“Okay. I love you too.” Alice stepped out side and the music stopped, lights dimmed and decorations came down. The babies stayed with her sisters when Bella and I crept into the house, high on love and life. We made love and we drifted to sleep peacefully.
A week later…
“Edward please, please don’t go! I‘ll do anything just don’t go!” Bella’s crying was making it so hard to pack because I kept breaking down and crying with her, November cried too but Abel understood- he was quiet as a mouse.
“Bella please don’t do this to me. I can’t take it if we do it like this.”
“Don’t go.” She whimpered, trying to suppress the last of her cries.
“I’ll be back in a couple of months Bells, it only be for a little while.”
“You promise?” She said putting on her usual unsure smile trying to be brave.
“I promise.” My gut twisted and the hole in my heart I had been preparing for, ripped open, gaping in the center of my chest. I held Abel first knowing that it might be the last time I ever held him, hoping he would grow up to be as strong and exuberant as he always was. He would be a great man, no doubt about that, he was my boy, my son, my life. I held November second, she was so beautiful and the little tears on her face made her skin sparkle, she smiled at me and I kissed her forehead softly. My beautiful baby girl, my unsuspected gift, my treasure.
Bella was the hardest and we went to another room to hide what was to come. I didn’t want the babies to see us like that, holding each other so tightly I was afraid I could never let go. The pain she felt was so hostile and ugly that I winced when I thought of it, I hated to see her in pain, especially this pain, the kind that rips you to shreds and swallows you whole. Me being in this kind of pain was nothing, it was all for her and I would take every last bit of it. But seeing her in this kind of pain- no I can’t even think about it.
We collected ourselves and drove to the airport in silence.
We drowned ourselves in tears in the front of the gate.
We didn’t even care about who was watching us.
I squeezed her hand tightly as we parted ways.
I watched her as I left for the gate so slowly.
I tried to capture her face in the moment.
She smiled a true smile just for me.
She mouthed I love you silently.
She waved goodbye.
- Not so perfect.
- Impossible love.
- All comes crashing down.
- Disappointing moments.
- What is this?
- So right.
- So Wrong.
- Good news on top of good news.
- Final conclusions about love and life.
- Abel and November
- She waved goodbye.
- With out him.
- Getting Better is hard to do.
- Could this be my happy ending?
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- 17 Feb 09
- 31 Mar 09