Right or Wrong?
Thanks to eternitys_charm for the crazy good banner! Bella Swan is your average teenage girl with a boyfriend named Jacob and a semi perfect life. But what if that perfect life she's come to love is all an illusion and she's just afraid to admit the truth? Edward is gorgeous popular and rich and he's the object of Bella's hate and the only one who see's the real her. When tragedy strikes will Bellla finally see the light and just admit she really loves Edward? Love has consequences but for her it's better then living a lie. Spoiler!Go to my bio to see a sneak peek on the sequel to this story! (All human! Rated teen for some strong language and mature themes.) Thanks to all my faithful reviewers! Next Chapter will soon be up!
15. With out him.
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And just like that he was gone.
Days pass and then weeks and then months, filled with the hope of him returning. Letters and my babies are the only things that keep me sane enough to live through it all. Abel is the (little) man of the house, demanding and oddly terrorizing, his sister looks more and more like her father everyday. I can barely look at her. At the same time though, she fills that empty space that Edward left, leaving me half whole somehow. November and Abel are my life now, everything I live for besides the anticipation of Edward’s return.
Rose and Emmett make me sick. All they do is prance around looking so happy all the time. Alice and Jasper try to be more discreet and considerate, they do that behind closed doors. Carlisle and Esme don’t seem to notice the difference in their daughter in-law but I know they talk about when they think I can’t hear. They’re worried. My dad sees my pain but he would never say anything about it directly, only when my face lights up because another war ridden letter was dropped in the mail box.
“See Bells, everything’s going to be fine! Ed is a strong guy! He can take care of himself.” He said as I trace the letters of the paper with my brittle and tired hands. The fear of a doomed “death letter” leaves me tired and paler then ever before. Is it this bad for everyone? Or am I just being a drama queen? Whatever it is I cringe from the day when Edward’s name is not on the envelope, but some stranger’s foreign print notifying me of the worst.
When sixth months have passed I get another letter from Edward telling me about all the death and destruction of the war. People go insane from things like that which worries me to pieces. Ever since he left it seems as though November lost all meaning to stay still, every chance she gets she’s touching and grabbing and biting and crying. Abel just sits there like a good little boy while she plays with rattles and teddy bears. It’s amazing how fast they changed, at first I couldn’t get Abel to be quiet for more then five minutes but now it’s Vember who does all the yelling. Yet, somehow Abel knows just how to control his sister, not letting her play with his toys or get to much attention. They're the only two things that can make me laugh legitimately in such a stressful time.
“Bella! Why don’t you come out to eat with us, dad will watch the babies.” Alice was on one of her cheering up stampedes, trying to make me go out despite my best efforts to stay home with the kids. I couldn’t bring my self to leave my house for more then an hour lately, and that was only if my dad or Esme called to see the babies.
“I don’t know Alice I’m pretty tired right now and I don’t want to get all dressed up and stuff.” My excuses were lame but I needed something.
“Jeeze Bella what is Edward going to say when he comes back and you’re all fat from sitting on your ass all day!” I could hear Rosalie shout from the back.
“Tell Rose I don’t sit on my ass all day like she does! I’m cleaning.” I grumbled back.
“Bella that house must be spotless from how much you clean it! I’ll be there in five minutes!” Alice was just not taking no for an answer and I didn’t want to argue anymore then needed. Abel looked up at me and smiled while November played with her rattle, she yawned and closed her eyes mid shake. Abel must stay up all night just watching his sister in the crib next to him because I never see him close his eyes. Sometimes in the night I sneak up on him to watch him sleep, the only time when his guard is down. A six month old baby can’t possibly be that cautious! If only Edward was here to ease his concern. I sigh and pack some things into a little diaper bag for them, and lightly put them in their car seats. Who knew twins could be so tiring? I definitely didn’t. I hear the purr of Alice’s car and head out the door, diaper bag in tow.
Later on at the diner Rose talks College, Alice talks fashion and I talk babies. It’s kind of fun getting out of the house and leaving life up to it’s self. I bet my dad is having fun with November right now, I bet Abel is glaring at him quietly. I chuckle and Alice looks up from her coke.
“OH MY GOD! That is the first time I’ve seen you really laugh, in like ages! Everything will be fine Bella I promise.” Alice smiles and I can’t help but smile back at her. Then Rosalie looks up from her “non-fat” milkshake and laughs.
“I told you she’d be okay! She just needs to get out of the house every once in a while.” My sister has an uncanny ability to surprise me in the most unsuspected of moments. I didn’t even think she cared. Just then I peer around the diner and see a familiar yet freighting face.
“Sam?” Jacob’s older brother stares back at me from across the way and smiles. Last time I saw him he had just turned nineteen and moved away from La Push. It seemed like he had grown five years since then, when in reality, it’s only been a year and a half. The thing that really scared me though, is how much Jacob looked like him. He was the spitting image of his older brother, it almost gave me the chills.
“Bella!” He called as he walked towards our table. Alice and Rosalie look at me suspiciously as I try to introduce him.
“Alice, Rose…This is Sam.” Alice and Rose both eyed each other as they noticed the resemblance.
“Oh yeah so you’re that monster Jacob’s brother?” Rose spit out coldly.
“What?” Sam asked looking truthfully confused.
“So you don’t know what he did?” Rose asked as me and Alice pleaded for her to stop. God she had a big mouth.
“Umm….no.” Sam looked towards me for answers, tired of playing the blame game with Rose.
“It’s nothing Sam it was a long time ago. How is he doing?” I was anxious to hear about Jacob’s demise, which worried me. I was not setting a good example for my kids.
“He’s still in a wheel chair… But he’s trying to stop drinking, it makes him even more immobile.” Sam looked away looking a little embarrassed, by his brother’s problems. “How are the babies? I heard you had twins.”
“Yeah I did. And I got married.” I held up my ring finger to show the sparkly diamond, Sam laughed and then his face turned into a frown.
“I heard about Edward joining the war.” He said looking down and my heart sunk to my knees. I recomposed myself and then answered short and stabby.
“Yes, yes he did.” I looked at my watch, seeing it was almost ten.
“Well I’d love to see the kids one day. I really like kids.” Sam attempted to change the subject and I did that anxious “I got to go smile.”
“Sure maybe one day.” He said goodbye and we parted ways. It was good to talk to someone outside of the family. Even if it was my abusive ex’s older brother. But something was strange about him, something wild that scared me. It wasn’t the same wild that made me fear Jacob, it was a mysterious wild. It had me thinking about the guys November would date when she grew up. Would it be someone like Sam? Or would it be someone like Edward? Hopefully nothing like Jacob. Definitely nothing like Jacob. Poor November, her father would probably kill any guy who even looked at her. Abel would probably be a ladies man with the help of Emmett, by the time Abel would be old enough to date Emmett would be in his thirties and still trying to be suave, Jasper would be the sensitive one trying to tell Abel how to read a girl, while Edward, I’d like to think he would tell him how to love someone.
Next time I write him, I need to remember to bring this up. He’ll probably laugh at me but at least we’ll be laughing. Learning to breathe without Edward around is going to get easier, I just know it. When he comes back it'll be like a breath of fresh air. They do say that "Absence makes the heart grow fonder." I don't think I could love Edward much more then I already do though, I already love him to the tippy top. Maybe though, just maybe, there is so much more love waiting for him when he gets back.
- Not so perfect.
- Impossible love.
- All comes crashing down.
- Disappointing moments.
- What is this?
- So right.
- So Wrong.
- Good news on top of good news.
- Final conclusions about love and life.
- Abel and November
- She waved goodbye.
- With out him.
- Getting Better is hard to do.
- Could this be my happy ending?
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- 17 Feb 09
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