Right or Wrong?
Thanks to eternitys_charm for the crazy good banner! Bella Swan is your average teenage girl with a boyfriend named Jacob and a semi perfect life. But what if that perfect life she's come to love is all an illusion and she's just afraid to admit the truth? Edward is gorgeous popular and rich and he's the object of Bella's hate and the only one who see's the real her. When tragedy strikes will Bellla finally see the light and just admit she really loves Edward? Love has consequences but for her it's better then living a lie. Spoiler!Go to my bio to see a sneak peek on the sequel to this story! (All human! Rated teen for some strong language and mature themes.) Thanks to all my faithful reviewers! Next Chapter will soon be up!
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It’s been one lonely month since I’ve written to Edward. His letter should be here by now. I close my eyes before opening the mailbox. Maybe it’s this one, I tell myself. Or maybe the next one, I think when I see that it’s empty. I bet you its really busy over there, fighting the war and all. He won’t let me watch the news, he thinks im too weak to handle it. I think he’s wrong. Waiting is driving me up the wall with insanity, my nails a cut short to prevent biting. It’ll be here any day now, I say to myself but really im worried.
Worried enough to keep myself busy with friends, Sam and Alice have been a real big help. Alice has just been a total sweet heart and Sam is really cool, I hope he doesn’t get the wrong idea. He knows about Edward but I have a feeling we’re connected in some way, but it’s something I can’t put my finger on. Poor Sam, his girlfriend was killed a year and a half ago by a bear in the woods. That’s why he left, he didn’t tell me where he went, he just said he needed to run. I haven’t let him see Abel or November yet, I’m afraid that Edward would get mad that a guy is at the house. Also I am afraid that he will try to make a move on me or something, though I feel like that’s not going to happen, better safe then sorry.
The babies are 9 months old now and they’re getting so big they are starting to crawl. Abel is going through everything while November is scoping out every corner of the house. Rose has taken up the responsibility of learning to be a mom so she spends a lot of time with them, oddly enough she’s pretty good at it. Emmett and Jasper are enjoying playing with the babies a little too much, I never knew Emmett could be so lovable. Now that I’m trying to be more social everything is slowly starting to smooth out. Yet, my heart still aches to be in Edward’s arms and to kiss his lips and hear him say I love you one more time. Two weeks ago I could’ve sworn I heard him whispering in my ear. He said “I love you Bella, Im sorry.” That’s when I started to get nervous, that’s when is started to worry.
It was Sunday on a cold January morning, the trees were naked and a grayish white color from the winter snow. Everything was so still that it made me dizzy to get up in the early morning, but November and Abel were already up and restless. I was spending the day at the Cullen’s, Jasper was turning nineteen and Alice made a big deal about celebrating his last teen birthday. Everyone is getting so old these days, even me. I packed the diaper bags full of goodies and toys and packed the kids into the car. The family is excited that all of us will be there. Well almost all of us. I hold back tears as I drive away from our little house, Edward would’ve liked to be here but he’ll be home in a couple of months so he won’t miss too much.
When I get to their house everyone is in the living room waiting our arrival. People shuffle to get to the babies and hand me kisses and hugs as they all part separate ways. Alice hugs me and Rosalie offers me a seat by her side, we all talk memories and “remember when’s” until I remember that I forgot to bring Jasper’s present. Rosalie offers to get while me and Alice talk about jobs. I was thinking about getting one soon, even though I don’t need one. It would be nice to have a niche in the world other then mothering.
“I think getting a job would be great Bella! You should pursue something in education! Maybe you can work at the recreation center down in La Push! You’re so great with kids!” I smile and think about helping those unfortunate youths. It would be something different, something new, maybe I could make a difference somewhere in this cold, lonely world. Just then Rosalie burst through the door a numb face shadows over her too beautiful features, it makes her look old.
“Did you get the present Rose?” I ask. Then I notice it. It cries for attention in the large room. The only thing I can focus on is the little sliver of yellow paper in Rosalie’s hand. The room grows silent, even the babies quiet down, I can hear people swallowing back everything they wish would never happen but has. My eyes dart across the room, first to Esme, then to Emmett and Jasper, Alice and Carlisle and then to my babies. My poor babies. My heart picks up speed, my stomach dives and summersaults in my body and I can feel myself turn to jelly. I know what the letter says.
Rosalie drops the letter in my hands and it weighs a ton. My heart cracks and flutters away to some place where angels sing and god puts his hand on Edward’s soldier and whispers the meaning of life. This is it. I see Edward, I can feel him all around me as I open the little envelope with my name neatly typed on the front. Can this really be it? I close my eyes and a tear rolls down my cheek, somewhere beside me Alice shudders and Esme holds back tears. The little yellow paper is addressed to Mrs. Isabella Cullen.The Secretary of the Army has asked me to inform you that your husband Edward A.M. Cullen has been reported Missing in action in Irag since January 2nd during the invasion of Fort Willard. When we receive more information, you will be promptly notified. The Secretary extends his deepest sympathy to you and your family during this trying period.
The letter slides out of my hand and I can hear November squirming in Emmett’s arms. I don’t know how I can even look at my babies again, November’s eyes and hair and Abel’s strong chin. It hurts me to think that the very sight of my own children repulses me but I couldn’t take the resemblance right now. They look so much like their father, something I’ve loved since day one but is now such a burden.
“Alice, can you take care of the kids?” Everyone is crying as I jump into my car and drive away as fast as humanly possible.
It takes and entire twenty four hours to wrap my head around what has happened. Missing in action? What does that mean? Where is he? Is he dead? No, no he’s not, I tell myself. Just like I tried to convince myself he wouldn’t get deployed, just like I tried to convince myself he wouldn’t get hurt, just like I tried to convince myself everything would be right. Somewhere inside, someone more realistic snaps at my false hope.
“NO! It’s not going to be fine Bella! He’s gone!” And then, just like that, hope drains out of me in waves of tears. He’s gone. My Edward is gone forever. I’ll never have another kiss, another hug…another sweet I love you.
“I love you Edward.” I say to myself as I lay in my bed drowning myself in my grief. A flood of memories came at me and rip my heart piece by piece.
The first day in class when I actually noticed him-“What am I capable of then Edward?” “Give me a chance, and I can show you.”
The first night we spent together that changed our lives forever-“I want you Bella Swan. I need you.”
When I finally admitted I wanted and needed him too-“I hate you because I love you.”
When he asked me to marry him and made my life complete-“I love you and I always will. No matter where I am and no matter what I do, you’ll always be in my heart and I’ll always be with you”
When the babies were born, when he finally become my husband, the first time I realized I couldn’t live with out him, smiling at him before we parted ways at the airport….
And then the bad memories start to make everything cloudy and I flinch away from them. I swallow everything and walk outside to check the mail. One letter lay at the bottom of the mail box, waiting for me. It’s from Edward, it’s dated the day he went M.I.A. and it’s only a day too late.
- Not so perfect.
- Impossible love.
- All comes crashing down.
- Disappointing moments.
- What is this?
- So right.
- So Wrong.
- Good news on top of good news.
- Final conclusions about love and life.
- Abel and November
- She waved goodbye.
- With out him.
- Getting Better is hard to do.
- Could this be my happy ending?
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- 17 Feb 09
- 31 Mar 09