Right or Wrong?
Thanks to eternitys_charm for the crazy good banner! Bella Swan is your average teenage girl with a boyfriend named Jacob and a semi perfect life. But what if that perfect life she's come to love is all an illusion and she's just afraid to admit the truth? Edward is gorgeous popular and rich and he's the object of Bella's hate and the only one who see's the real her. When tragedy strikes will Bellla finally see the light and just admit she really loves Edward? Love has consequences but for her it's better then living a lie. Spoiler!Go to my bio to see a sneak peek on the sequel to this story! (All human! Rated teen for some strong language and mature themes.) Thanks to all my faithful reviewers! Next Chapter will soon be up!
9. Final conclusions about love and life.
Rating 0/5 Word Count 1154 Review this Chapter
Three days before…
My stomach growled for a piece of Angela’s pizza but I resisted the temptation. It will come back up in a couple of minuets anyway, wouldn’t want to waste her perfectly good meal.
“Bella eat something!” Mike ushered me from across the table. I narrowed my eyes at him and he shut up instantly. I found out that make was the one who told Jacob and have been neglecting him ever since.
“I have the stomach flu Mike!” I spat back.
“Sorry Bells.” He answered in a hushed voice. His face turned into a “sorry I told on you frown” and I felt a little bad.
“No its okay, I know you’re just trying to help.” I exhaled and watched my reflection in the mirror. Despite my belief that I couldn’t get any whiter, I was and even though I was only 110 pounds, I was getting thinner from the massive amount of throwing up I was doing. I haven’t even checked myself into the hospital because of all the homework I’ve been getting-maybe im working myself to death. Hopefully.
Edward hasn’t even dared to look at me since that night or at least while im looking at him. This has become more frequent lately and I wonder why, I loose sleep over this. His mood, like mine, has become increasingly dark and gloomy lately. I guess we both lost something that night, my virginity and possibly my sanity and his hope for any future with me. Jacob has become a total recluse, speaking to no one and doing nothing. I think about him from time to time but no more then necessary. Everything thing about that the last time I saw him fills me with remorse, pain and regret. Yet, I still can’t forget about it, I can’t push it back to the forgetful part of my mind. It’s always “that night” or “that (something) night”, it never goes away, no matter what I do to keep it at bay.
I do love Edward. I figured this out the second I got home, Rose was interrogating me about the foregoing night and I couldn’t help but smile, even when my first love and ex boyfriend lay in the hospital with his legs severed. At first I tricked myself into thinking he deserved it and I was laughing because of the irony of it but deep down I knew that wasn’t true. I wasn’t that heartless and numbed from him beating me. So I compromised with myself and came to a conclusion. I love Edward and I wanted that night to happen, secretly, and all my previous thoughts and actions pointed to this.
The next day…
I am now a whole month late. Yay! Sarcastic thought sarcastic thought sarcastic thought. Now aside from my already high stack of worries, I might be pregnant. I shudder to myself when I think about this, pregnant just before my eighteenth birthday. I finally give Edward the chance of meeting my eyes in first period today. My insides scream out “help me, I need you!” but he doesn’t see. When the day of my birthday comes Rosalie gives me the evil as she leaves telling me to “get a lot of rest” and “don’t eat any tuna,” then she leaves a single twenty dollar bill on the table recommending I “go to the clinic.” Alice is a relief to all scared girl out there who thinks they’re pregnant.
“Happy Birthday Bella!” She whistles as she walks out.
“Happy Birthday Alice!” I call back trying to act enthusiastic. My dad walks by and kisses me on the cheek, I swallow a big lump in my throat and wish him a good day.
“I love you Bells.” He says like salt to an open wound.
“You too dad.” Oh he will definitely kill Edward, no doubt about it.
There is a little party tonight at my house and he is sure to come, unless he is mortified to breathe the same air as me, as I am mortified to be in the same room as him. I go to the pharmacy as suggested and pick up the most expensive and trustworthy pregnancy test. The little pee stick is like a prophet of doom, ready to deliver my pooping, crying, noisy fate. I cry while I pee, I cry while I wait and I cry while I see-
I feel faint and the walls spin uncontrollably. My heart flutters, more tears gush out of some hidden spring somewhere inside of me and my chest heaves in and out for some unreachable air. I fling the test into the trash can not being careful of who sees it. My dad would probably appreciate the words from me, but I settle on a stick of blue in a sea of white toilette paper. Hopefully he sees it and goes in denial, that would make getting fatter a lot easier and also it would make the plain slow and deliberate instead of fast and less painful like- “dad im pregnant and im sorry but I don’t know what I was doing should I keep the baby or not or maybe we could go to the clinic and get an abortion but wait am I crazy what would mom say.” I deserve the worst kind of pain, the kind that sneaks up on you like a hundred knifes to your back because of what you did to your father. Here comes the acidy fluid coming up my throat again from my empty stomach for the hundredth time. Aaaaaahh the gifts of motherhood!
I spend the rest of the day drifting in and out of sleep and pukehood, before I know it the door bell rings and Jasper, Emmett and Edward’s voice can be heard from downstairs. I creep to my room with a bucket for safety and hunch myself over waiting for it to come up again. I think about all the things I planned, every detail of my life draining away like the throw up from my mouth. What am I going to tell Edward? Should I even tell him? Of course I should! But when? I hear a knock at my door and assume its Alice telling me to come downstairs but it’s not. Edward stands dumbfounded at the door watching me slumped on my hardwood floor. I panic, yell something unintelligible and throw my shoe at him in a rush. Great. He leaves and im left alone to ponder my next move.
Oh god oh god oh god! The pregnancy test. I bolt out of my room and march to the bathroom and let my self in. (I’ve already seen everything anyway) Edward is leaning on the sink for support and staring at the mirror with no emotions beaming from his eyes. He knows.
“You’re pregnant.” He breathes.
- Not so perfect.
- Impossible love.
- All comes crashing down.
- Disappointing moments.
- What is this?
- So right.
- So Wrong.
- Good news on top of good news.
- Final conclusions about love and life.
- Abel and November
- She waved goodbye.
- With out him.
- Getting Better is hard to do.
- Could this be my happy ending?
1 2 3 4 5
- 17 Feb 09
- 31 Mar 09