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Never Think

Summary:
His teeth were deep in her throat, his eyes were desperate, urgent. She lay there covered in blood. We ran before he could do it. How would I have known? My vision had shown me murder. But in reality, I had denied Edward his happiness. Now I had to find a way to correct my mistake.


Notes:
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Stephenie Meyer.


3. Chapter 3

Rating 0/5   Word Count 1729   Review this Chapter

{APOV}

It had not been the most convenient of times, but it was definitely the most suitable. Inconvenient because Jasper had both my hands pinned above my head with one strong grip, and with his other hand he was tracing his way along my thigh, then up to my waist, leaving a trace of fire that reverberated through my entire body. His broad chest was hovering above me, his hanging hair framing his face and his eyes never leaving mine. Teasing me like only Jasper knew.

Suitable because Edward had decades of practice for moments like these, and had successfully mastered ignoring his family’s thoughts when they were thus occupied.

So when I had a vision of Bella Swan walking into our home in Forks to find the incriminating evidence I had created with my own hands, Edward was buried deep in an original version of Crime and Punishment, where he had to concentrate hard on his flawed Russian.

“What happened?” Jasper urged, freeing my hands.

“I’m not sure,” I replied, taking a deep breath to try and slow my thoughts “No danger. But we need to get out of here quick, before Edward realises.” I breathed. This couldn’t be happening.

The crease in his forehead deepened, he could sense my anticipation. I was fighting my mind, trying to control my thoughts, but there was too much intensity in the vision, too much feeling. It had to be unravelled, quickly, but it was too risky to do it here.

I felt myself relaxing my muscles, and taking a deep breath. One thumb stroked my cheekbone in assurance, and I felt the bed move as weight was lifted from it. I opened the eyes I didn’t remember closing, and with one swift movement, jumped out of bed and landed in front of the desk. I tore from a pad a piece of paper, and quickly jotted down a note.

Gone for a couple of days! Impromptu honeymoon, don’t worry. Love, A and J.

We’d gone away before, so there was no reason to think why we wouldn’t want to do it again. I put a shirt back on and filled a bag with some change of clothes .Jasper, fully clothed again, closed his own bag and grabbed the car keys and looked at me: still worried, still not knowing where or why we were going, but with the unquestioned assurance of following the one you loved. Wherever they went, whatever their reasons.

And I made sure I let my heart and mind fill with the thought of that look, and let a smile spread across my face as I held Jasper’s hand and made my way to the garage.

Jasper was accelerating as soon as I closed the passenger door shut. We crossed the old wooden bridge and began bordering the lake that lay at our doorstep. The water was silver, reflecting starless sky above us.

“Where am I headed to?” Jasper asked cautiously.

Before I had time to think of an answer, my mind shut and reality faded away from my sight. I was sat on a branch of a tree that had practically settled itself within the room with white covered walls. It was calm and quiet and misty; our bags lay unopened on the oak bed I had almost forgotten about.

“Forks” I whispered in a breath.

I could feel Jasper’s incredulous gaze on me. He looked back, checking if we were at a safe distance from Edward, and then looked back at the road, speeding a little bit more just in case.

“I saw Bella, Jazz.” I had to think this through; I needed to make sense of this.

“Bella?”

“Bella Swan. The girl Edward-“

“Oh.” He cut me before I had to continue.

“She’s going back to the house. She’s going to find the drawings.”

He didn’t answer at first. We had reached the main road.

“Will she – does she know about us, then?” he ventured.

“Not consciously, I don't think. But in some level, yes.”

“This changes things.” It wasn’t a question. He knew that the future was susceptible to every small decision we made.

I simply nodded in agreement. I knew what I had to do now, but I was fighting it. I was apprehensive and anxious, and that’s never a good combination of feelings when you could see the future.

I closed my eyes; let my head fall to my hands and let the future of Edward and Bella Swan fill my mind.

We were already leaving Glacier National Park when I had opened my eyes again. Like a human, drowning in shallow water, I jerked my head up and gasped for breath.

“Jasper, I made a terrible, terrible, mistake!”

~ x ~ x ~

{BPOV}

I had no air left in my lungs, yet I found it hard to let myself breath. A warm liquid began swarming pooling beneath my tongue and I knew I was going to be sick. I ran, but never made it to the car. I was leaning against the nearest tree and the very little food I had that day was now forcing itself out. I was glad for the vomiting, because nothing else could express how I felt. After the stomach convulsions halted I brought myself up. My arms were shaking and my legs felt like they were going to cave in, and clutched between my knuckles was the piece of paper I had refused to let go. That little piece of paper condemned my sanity – but proved that what I had seen wasn’t a figment of my imagination.

Suddenly something else began bubbling up inside of me, but this time it wasn’t sick. It was pure, vile anger, and it was over-taking my weakness and my fear. I was so angry that my throat knotted up and tears began rolling down my cheek. Someone had played a vicious, cruel joke on me. With limbs quavering under my weakness and determined, angry tears I staggered to my jeep and drove out of the Cullen’s driveway and away from their abandoned household. That someone would have sore ears tomorrow. And I had a feeling that someone lived just a few miles away from here… in La Push.

I got to the main road and signalled right; Jacob Black could start saying his last goodbyes. I had begun lining up the swear words he would be hearing from me when a sleek, shiny, black sports car turned brusquely into the driveway.

A beautiful blond, pale boy was at the steering wheel, looking determinedly ahead. And in the passenger’s seat, turning towards me as the car turned away, was a painstakingly beautiful, pale girl with short black hair. She stared at me until the car disappeared around the curve.

~ x ~ x ~

{APOV}

“Jasper! It’s her!!” I screamed. But I didn’t know what to do! I had not planned for this, and I had no idea what to do or say to Bella Swan.

“Shall I stop?”

“Uh…no. I don’t think so.” I had been analysing Bella Swan and her future for the past 10 hours and I already felt familiar with the girl. I doubt she’d feel the same way. “I think we should settle down first and think this through.”

It was hard to walk into the empty house The white sheets were covering so much more than furniture, the dust was layering over memories of happy days. And that emptiness reminding me of my mistake.

Our room was exactly as we left it. I opened the windows as soon as I walked in, and my familiar branch of tree was welcoming me home. Jasper walked in behind me, removing the sheets from the furniture and placing the bags on the bed.

“Alice, I need to hunt. It also wouldn’t be a bad idea to warn the Quileute’s that we’re back for a few days.”

“Yeah, good thinking. They know we’re back already and will be tracing the border in about 10 minutes.” I answered, still looking out at my branch. A little woodpecker was sat on it, looking curiosly back at me. His little heart was thudding lightly and happily.

“Ok. I’ll be back soon. We’ll fix this, ok?” He kissed my cheek and jumped off the window, speeding away into the forest.

The woodpecker flew away but I quickly took his place, propping my back up on the tree trunk. I looked back into the house, and saw the picture I had seen in the car on the way here.

You think I’d stop feeling déjà vu after all these years of seeing the future.

I knew that Bella had changed her future as soon as she decided to walk into this house. But I knew there was more to that vision… it had been so full of emotion, of foreboding. I had seen her again, lying on a table, covered in blood, Edward over her, biting her. But I had pushed my courage, and rather than shying away from the disturbing image I waited to see what would unravel. The bite that I was sure would drain her hadn't lasted. Edward moved swiftly to her arm, biting again. Even though I could see his urgency, his was being delicate and careful with his touch. He wasn't uncontrolled or erratic, he was almost loving. And then I noticed the huge syringe enterred deep in her heart.

Edward wasn’t killing her, he was turning her. He was saving her.

It was then I realised that when I uplifted my family from Forks, I had denied Edward the chance of finding happiness and love.

Poor Edward. My poor, lovely, amazing, Edward. Alone for a century and having to live with six people who were blissfully happy with each other. He could have found someone, he could have had love and happiness, but I made sure that didn’t happen.

Oh my god.

What had I done?

I tried looking further into her future and I could see glimpses of Edward everywhere. Edward kissing her; Edward looking into her eyes and running his hands through her hair; Edward smiling, broadly and genuinely, like he hasn’t done in decades.

But they were mere glimpses. Faded, short, feeble.

Susceptible.

I knew there was decision to be made somewhere.

I was determined to correct my mistake.