Tearing Me Apart
What happens when everything that you've dreamed of comes true? What happens when it's then taken away from you? Alice & Bella // Bella's POV
1. Your Love's Not Live It's Dead
Rating 3/5 Word Count 1023 Review this Chapter
Sometimes I feel her presence around me; as if she never left.
As if she never left me.
There are other times – most of the time – that I swear she’s right here beside me. Reminding me that it’s okay to breathe; reminding me that I can live without her.
But the truth is I just can’t.
I breathe because it’s necessary.
She doesn’t have to breathe.
‘God, the irony,’ I think to myself. That leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. The irony indeed...
There are times, though, that I don’t feel anything; not even her. Those are the times that everything comes rushing back, rendering me speechless; paralyzed. That’s when I lose it ... That’s when I breakdown and shatter into a million pieces that I can’t even be glued back together. But even if I could, the cracks would still be seen. I still remember that day that everything changed. The day that my life came crashing down all over me. The day that I heardmy life shatter as if it were glass. But what hurt the most, was the deafening silence that was draped over the both of us.
I looked at her as if she was my everything, as if she were my life. And in most ways, that was true. I didn’t have anything else to live for apart for her.
My beautiful darling girl.
Her pixie-like features, her small frame that never gave any indication of her strength. Her short, cropped dark hair that defied gravity and shot out in every direction possible. Her cold, pale body that sparkled in sunlight, reminding me of just how much I was amazed by her. Of how much I loved her. Of how I belonged to her.
But her eyes – oh her eyes – her gold pools that were dipped into a pit of honey. Those eyes that held so much of her previous soul in her. And no matter what she said, I could swear that I could see her soul in them; she was no monster. She was my beautiful vampire.
The vampire that did everything she could in order for me to feel safe.
The vampire that did everything she could in order to show me how much she loved me.
The vampire that did everything she could in order to show me that I was her life.
The vampire that showed me I did not fit in her life.
The vampire that broke and tore me apart.
“Bella?” she asked me as she realized I was off into my own world of thought. A world where everything that I was living wasn’t true. A world that doubted everything that was happening. A world where I didn’t deserve someone as amazing as Alice Cullen.
“Is everything okay?” her eyes dipped in worry.
“Yeah,” I replied in a dazed response, “everything’s fine.” I just had a strange feeling all day and I couldn’t pinpoint why.
“Okay,” she replied ever so softly. So soft, in fact, that I actually had to strain my ears to realize what she had just muttered, ‘that’s for being an ordinary human,’ I thought to myself.
After that, silence dominated the room. Something that left a sickening feeling in my stomach. This was a rare occurrence between us. Alice would usually be talking about a mile a minute about a topic or another, leaving me to chuckle with her child-like stance sometimes. It was just something I absolutely loved about her.
You see, the thing with Alice was that she could not remember absolutely anything from her human life. Even Carlisle seemed to not have an explanation for this fact. But this made Alice so much more enthralling to watch. Discovering something new every day. Watching me as if I was something fascinating and asking questions like, ‘Why is chocolate so addictive?’
There would be other questions, though, that would eat me inside. That would bend me just a little. Questions like, ‘does it hurt?’
Questions that I know she knows I don’t have the answers to.
And just like that, in a sudden turn of events, my life turned upside down in a matter of seconds. Because of me and my stupid mouth.
“Alice?” I whispered, knowing that there was no need for me to speak any louder. One of the many advantages of being a vampire was having supersonic hearing. But it seems that Alice’s unique gift caught up with her as soon as I had made the decision to breach the subject.
That’s when a sudden chill ran through my back like a cold December day. That’s when I saw Alice going rigid as a vision overtook her. When I heard Alice let out a menacingly growl that resounded off the walls and claimed my ears. That’s when I realized my beautiful vampire slowly increasing the distance between us. That’s when I realized what a foolish thing I had set in motion.
“No,” came the shocked whisper from her cold lips.
“Alice I – “
“No!” she screamed and everything came to a standstill. There was some shuffling from the other rooms in the Cullen house but no one dared to enter. We were all dancing around this subject for too long, and now it was show time.
Now my anger decided to take over. Foolish, foolish Bella.
“Well what do you want me to do then? Sit around and wait?” I asked incredulously, knowing that I would do that; was already doing that for her.
“You don’t understand,” came the rough reply in a form of hissing. Something that I knew could not end well. Cursing my foolishness and her gift, I took a step forward – she took a step backwards.
“Well explain it to me!” my voice raised a notch, my frustration and desperation on the surface of my emotions, “tell me what I gotta do!” I screamed. “Tell me what you want me to do! Tell me who you want me to be...” I trailed off as I realized the room was empty.
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