My last breath
Set after Edwards return in New Moon. Bella dosn't react well to Edwards sudden arrival, but can she keep herself away from him? No, obviously not. Can Edward keep himself with Bella? If it's to save her life, of course. Who's Leon?
2. Chapter 2
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I raced home with her words reverberating in my head. ‘I’m broken’, ‘Get the hell out of my room’, ‘Go’. She couldn’t even look at me, she couldn’t open her eyes. Layers of anger soaked her every expression. Her disgust was palpable.
I pulled myself inside, racing past their blank faces, Alice must have known how it went. Seriously, these people needed hobbies.
I detoured into Carlisle’s office, picking up his leather bound bible and retreated to my room. Over the years this book had become such a comfort. Its timeless words helping to ease my mind, lending themselves to me when I found myself in need of guidance. Just above one my favourite passages on love, Corinthians 13.4, I saw a paragraph I never really noticed before…
‘If I speak in the tongues of mortals and of angels, but do not have love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give away all my possessions, and if I hand over my body so that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.’
That didn’t help.
Without her I am nothing. I was wrong to leave; I should have known that Isabella Swan and I were intrinsically joined. We couldn’t be apart. No good could have come from my leaving. I should have known no good would come from this. Would I leave her alone? What had happened between her and Jacob? All her belongings reeked of him. Was it love? She would be happier with me…we both knew it. Of course she couldn’t trust me, that was all it was. That could change, time was on my side.
I had to prove to her. I needed to. She was right. I had picked her up and cast her asie far too many times. Although I couldn’t understand how, I never did actually doubt that she loved me. That doubt must have been horrendous…but knowing I was the cause of it…
This pain was excruciating, far worse than dying at the hands of the Volturi.
I would not leave. I would stay and I would fight. I couldn't just give up. We were moving back to Forks and she would love me again. I heard creaking on the stairs. Someone was coming up them slowly, slower than a human. They were completely lost in thought. I heard every word. Carlisle, I could hear his thoughts before I saw him.‘What can I say to him? We all know she has rejected him. It’s so good to have my son back but if he leaves again…Bella is his soulmate. He must stay and amend things. If he doesn’t we’ll loose him forever. I can’t have that, I won’t allow it. I must convince…’
Sparing him any more worry I spoke, or more rather declared, ‘I’m not going anywhere Carlisle. I love that girl.’
I heard a collective gasp from downstairs. Emmett laughed muttering something about ‘growing a pair’. I heard a pounding, like two steel rods smashing against each other which was accented by a playful growl. I presumed Rosalie didn’t appreciate his comment.
‘Alice, I need your help and I’m not talking no for an answer. You can try and avoid this for as long as you want but I need to know what is going on with Bella. I’ll haunt you for days. Little sister, your mind will not be your own.’ I called downstairs. In a moment, she was beside me.
‘Don’t worry Eddie, I’m on your side, let’s go get our girl.’ Alice giggled and at once, her eyes became hazed. As if she was concentrating on a far away place. I sat and waited, my two hands clenching the leather of the bible cover so hard I was beginning to mould it. Alice pulled through within seconds but obviously weakened by her endeavor. Limp and fragile Alice pulled her head up to speak to me. It was then when I saw the sadness in her eyes. Just sheer unadulterated misery.
‘Edward, she meant what she said, she’s determined. I don’t want to be cruel here, but, it’s important I’m honest. I don’t know if you’ll get her back. Both your futures are…it’s not like anything I’ve seen before. They’re just gone. I can’t….Edward….I’m so sorry.’
Jasper burst into the room tearing towards Alice. I noticed tears gathering in his eyes. In his southern lilt he began to speak, holding her carefully in his arms ‘Alice, are you ok? I felt you from downstairs. What’s happened? Darling, tell me.’
In that moment, my heart broke and filled with more love than I ever knew I had. It’s true, when you loose someone, it’s only then you realise how much you loved them. I couldn’t sleep, but I lay there relinquishing myself to the darkness, as if I was waiting for it to wash over me. It never did. I lay still, waiting till morning, to see her again.
When a heart breaks, it doesn’t break even.