I Love My Best Friend
Edward loves Bella, but he's the 'best friend.' Will he ever get over his insecurities that he feels about telling her how much he loves her?
Or will he just be the best friend for the rest of his life?
Rated for later chapters, and Cannon pairings later on.
EXB fic. AH very OOC.
I think I'll try this. Tell me what you think. Disclaimer: I don't own anything of the twilight universe.
1. Chapter 1
Rating 5/5 Word Count 1111 Review this Chapter
“Oh, Edward!” she gushed, and proceeded to tell me about her date with Jacob. For the third time this week.
I wanted to listen, but I just couldn’t. The rest of my sanity was being slowly ripped away with the rest of her talk about him.
I’ve always been her best friend and the way things seem, I always will be. I’ve loved her ever since she tripped into my life, and I couldn’t turn back. Life without her would seem blank, meaningless. I’d rather be her friend than never be able to comfort her, talk to her again. I never believed I would actually fall in love, but here I am, in a diner, with the woman I love, rambling on about her date with that vile man.
I knew what he wanted and knew he would dump her after he got satisfied. I won't be pleased when it happens, but I had to be, like so many times before.
I wouldalways imagine we’d be sitting together on one side of the booth, cuddling and saying sweet nothings in each other's ears.
But I knew that could never happen. I knew she’d never love me the way I loved her.
I was mesmerized by the way she talked, every movement her hand made when she was passionate about what she was talking about.
Every time she would say something that made her blush, she would have this small smile on her face that made everything go away. Every time she breathed, I could see her chest rise and fall so delicately. It was intoxicating.
But for me, she would never be mine. I would never be able to hold her passionately, to kiss her lovingly or show her how much I love her.
I snapped out of my reverie just in time for her to ask me the question that would ultimately make my day.
“Edward, mind coming over so we can watch a movie or two?” Her brown doe eyes lulled me in, and her pink tongue darting out of her mouth made it almost impossible not to kiss her.
“Sure, Bella.” I smiled at her and she smiled back, pleased that I would choose her over a night of drinking my sadness away.
But she didn’t know that, and I refused to tell her. If I told her that, I’d have to tell her the reason why and she’d reject me. I couldn't take any rejection.
I stood up and walked to the other side of the booth to help her up.
I couldn’t ignore the way her simple jeans and tee shirt fit her in a way that showed all of her curves. I looked away from her, not trusting myself, and waved down the waiter.
“Keep the change,” I said, and placed a hundred dollar bill in his hand before Bella looked up.
When she did, I softlytook her hand, and led her out of the diner.
Bella let go of my hand, and ran in front of me to my car.
She touched the silver paint, and started to jump up and down. “I won!” she said, her voice carefree and light.
I smiled and ran up to her, lightly poking her back with my finger.
She grumbled and stuck her tongue out at me,thenran around the car and slid in with ease.
I love you, I wanted to say, but simply couldn’t.
I opened the car door, and ‘plunked’ into my seat, as Bella likes to call it. I closed the door and buckled in, and she followed suit.
I turned to Bella. “Do you mind if we stop by the market?”
She smiled at me and patted my hand that was now resting on the clutch.
“I need to get a few things as well,” she said.
I simply nodded as a response, and tapped the button to start the car.
The drive to the market was silent. The car was filled with awkward tension that I desperately wanted to break, and silent musings from my inner self. As soon as we were in the market, we split ways.
She went to the candy aisle, I went to the booze.
Should it be beer or hard liquor? I didn’t want to get too piss ass drunk, but I didn’t want to smell like beer either.
I picked up the vodka and made my way to the register.
There was a 10 items or less register with nobody in line, and it was open. Perfect, I thought to myself.
I strolled up to the register, and the cashier looked me over, probably screwing me with her mind by now.
I put the bottle up on the conveyer belt and refused to look at the woman working the register.
I heard laughter from the back of the market and could easily identify it as Bella's.
“Hold this please,” I almost shouted at the cashier. She looked stunned and nodded.
I rushed my way to the back of the store where I heard her giggle, and his laugh.
My suspicions were confirmed when I saw her in his embrace, her face bright red.
He was looking at her with extreme lust in his eyes, and I remembered her telling me she thought it was love. She was dead wrong.
She saw me, and her eyes told me what she couldn’t, or didn’t want to say out loud.
I knew there would be no just us tonight. It would be her and him, and me drinking away my troubles, yet again.
I stalked down the alcohol aisle again and picked up a bottle of rum.
I didn’t want to think right now, because that would lead to something I really wouldn’t be able to stop and I don’t think Bella would appreciate it.
I placed the rum on the conveyor belt and the cashier rang it up.
She was glaring at me, but as soon as I smiled at her, she pursed her lips and jutted her chest out.
“What time do you get out of work, Honey?” I said, disgusted with myself but finding no other outlet.
“Nine,” she tried topurr, but it sounded like a bad muffler on an old, broken down car.
“Perfect,” I smirked at her, and looked her over.
If Bella is my heaven, then this is my hell,I thought to myself. Might as well go thoroughly.
I left him, but I didn't want to. I wanted it to be us, as friends tonight, just having fun.
But then Jacob made me laugh, and he made my day.
It’s not that Edward doesn’t make me happy, he's the best thing that's ever happened to me. It's the fact he seems distant every time he’s around me.
My thoughts were a distracted haze as Jacob slowly dragged his lips from my collarbone up to my ear.
I shivered, and I could feel his smile on my neck.
This didn’t feel right, but I could always take second best. That’s all I could ask for right now.